I Shall Believe
by chocolatemud14
Summary: The sequel to You Are Not Alone. Join Lucas, Peyton, and Ella as they navigate the waves and crashes of life. Ella continues to tackle the reality of her physical disability with another surgery; a family member falls gravely ill; and there in the center are Lucas and Peyton, whose love remains strong through every twist and turn. Happy LP!
1. Prologue

**Hey everybody! Here we are again with a new story! Not just any new story, though: this is the final installment in the Ella, Lucas and Peyton saga.**

 **Because this prologue isn't so long (don't worry, things still happen in it), I'm going to post the prologue, and then post chapter 1 24 hours later! Yes, you read that correctly. I've never done that before, so please show some love with a review. Share what you liked, disliked, your questions, your predictions, suggestions, anything! Let's see how much love we can gather in a 24 hour window. **

**It begins in Ella's POV. Yes, the result of the poll stated that you wanted to keep Ella's perspective in. So it's in. Pay attention to the timeline: things jump back, then forward.  
**

 **As in _Alone_ , Ella's POV will be noted by "-x-x-x-EGS-x-x-x-" in the break line, to make for an easy read. **

**This prologue doesn't waste any time in getting things started, so hang on tight.**

 **I Shall Believe**

 _Prologue_

OK. So. I have news. First, my aunt Lisa gave birth to a beautiful baby boy, Aaron Richard Sommers, on the 22nd of May, 2028. Which means that Aaron's already almost a year old now. I figure Aunt Lisa and Uncle Derek are gonna go all out for this kid's first birthday, which is coming up so soon!

Second, even more wonderful news. On May 16th, my mother gave birth to another amazing little boy, Miles Lawrence Scott, (whom they named after Miles Davis). So now I have _two_ little brothers. Blessed doesn't even begin to describe how I feel. My parents are over the moon. Stressed with two little ones, yes, but over the moon. It's a miracle that they've managed to _not_ pull each others' hair out by now.

I try to help out as best I can, but it's really tough for me to keep up with Riley, who's almost a year and a half old already. He doesn't see my cerebral palsy yet, obviously. He doesn't make me feel different for having a physical disability, because he can't understand it yet. When he does, he'll probably just see me as his big sister and not think anything of it, just like my cousin Jamie does, and Matthew, and Olivia, and the Baker twins, and Natalie, and so on and so forth.

After Riley was born, Dad had an an epiphany of sorts. He decided to pursue a PhD in English Literature, so he was now commuting to the University of North Carolina–Chapel Hill and taking night classes. Mom was nothing short of supportive, and together they somehow manage to make it all work. Grandpa Larry and Grandma Karen help out often.

Jamie was also continuing his undergraduate education at UNC-Chapel Hill. Not all of his credits transferred from William & Mary, though, so he had an extra year than everybody else. He was majoring in history, and was completely in love with his new girlfriend Bridget "Brigi" Anderson, whom he met at the university. They got along spectacularly well most of the time, though they still had the occasional spat.

That's all you need to know for right now. Flash forward a couple weeks...and here we go!

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

 _Thursday,_ _May 31_ _st_ _, 2029_ _3:30pm_

At 18 years old, Adrian landed a job as a waiter at Karen's Cafe, thanks to Aunt Haley. I had mentioned offhandedly that he was in desperate need of a summer job, and Aunt Haley had him trained at the cafe a few days after that. He took to the position quickly, seeing as he's a people person, was charismatic and personable… but y'all know that by now.

His shift started at 4pm. As we approached the cafe, he turned to me and said, "So I landed the job at the community pool as a lifeguard."

Adrian happens to be one of the best swimmers I know, and was now a certified lifeguard. He had the body for it, too. "You did?! That's awesome, Lion. How are you gonna juggle both jobs, though?"

"I'll figure it out. I told Haley already. The lifeguard job doesn't start until June 25th, anyway." Adrian moved ahead to open the door to the cafe, and I followed him inside. He turned to me. "You gonna get something to eat?"

"I was thinking that, yeah."

"Sounds good. So, I'll meet you back at your house when I get off?"

"Mhm." I kissed him, and he winked at me, before settling in to start his shift. I sat at the counter, somewhat sloppily. Adrian's high school graduation was coming up. I was feeling pretty emotional about it.

"Ella!" Aunt Haley waltzed over to me. "How's it going, honey?" She squeezed my shoulder in greeting.

"Pretty well. My house is pure insanity."

Aunt Haley laughed; her laugh had a graham-crackery sound. "Two children under the age of two will do that."

"Yeah. I wouldn't trade it for anything, though."

"I know the feeling. Can I get you something to eat? What are you having?"

"I was thinking a BLT. Something simple."

"You got it!" Aunt Haley relayed the order to Jeff the Chef. She then took a seat next to me. "How are my handsome nephews?"

"They're adorable," I answered. "I'm in love."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"I can't believe my beautiful Riley is almost a year and a half," Peyton said, holding her oldest son and kissing his cheek. She rocked him back and forth, back and forth in her arms. Her and Karen sat in the living room, just chatting before starting dinner later. "Are you ready for your nap, baby?"

Riley didn't answer. Instead he rested his head on Peyton's bosom. His hair was a very light blonde and wavy, soft and thick. His eyes were a brilliant blue like those of his father.

"He's tired," Karen noted. "I can take him."

"Thanks so much for your help, Karen," Peyton replied, handing Riley to his grandmother, immediately missing his warmth.

"Oh honey," Karen said. "You don't have to thank me. After all this time?" she joked. Riley settled easily against her, breathing in her comforting cinnamon scent. He saw his Grammy Karen all the time, and was more than familiar with her–he adored her. That was how Peyton and Lucas wanted it from the start, especially since Karen and Andy were no longer traveling and had thus settled in Tree Hill indefinitely. "Be right back," Karen said, and brought Riley to his room, which was themed after _The Jungle Book_ , with a sweet mural that Peyton had painted on one wall of the room by Riley's bed. When Karen returned, she asked, "So, Larry's coming over for dinner?"

Peyton nodded. "Mhm. Should be a nice evening. You and Andy should join us! It's the least I can do."

"I would love that," Karen responded, smiling a gentle smile. "I'm sure Andy would, too. He loves your cooking."

"I was thinking of making eggplant Parmesan."

"That sounds perfect. I'll help! And don't say, 'you don't have to.' I want to."

A familiar set of footsteps echoed through the house, accompanied by a jovial whistling. Lucas whistled a lot these days: his marriage was stronger and healthier than ever, Ella was thriving, and he had not just one, but _two_ gorgeous and amazing baby boys.

"Hey!" he greeted, arriving home from another successful day at the auto shop. His hair was a little longer now, but he still maintained his fit physique and took care of himself, exercising regularly and eating healthy. The HCM provided no other lifestyle alternative, really. The truth is, though, and Lucas would attest to this: sure, he was being healthy for himself, but much more so for his wonderful family–that he swore he'd _never_ take for granted _again._ "Hi Ma," he said, kissing Karen on the cheek and giving her a hug.

"Oh, no," Peyton said, rummaging rather frantically through the pantry. "Don't tell me I don't have any breadcrumbs..." Peyton peered over the items stacked on the shelf. "I don't. Great."

"Want me to go to the store?" Lucas asked, placing one hand on the white marble counter top.

"But you just got here," Peyton said. She edged into his embrace, pecking his lips. "And hi."

"Hi." Lucas brushed hair from her eyes. It was still blonde and wavy, past her shoulders. Over the past year and a half it had gone back to being curly, but now her hair was wavy again. "And that's OK," Lucas said. "No big deal; if you need the breadcrumbs, I'll go get them for you."

Peyton sent him a private look that only he understood, where she basically just told him how much she loved him with one glance. "You're a lifesaver."

"Be right back," he said, kissing Peyton's forehead.

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

I took a nice stroll home from the cafe, only to find my grandma Karen helping Mom in the kitchen, some jazz tunes soothing the room. "Hellooo?"

"There's my girl," Mom said, opening her arms for me to walk into them. She kissed the top of my head. "How was your day?"

"Can't complain," I answered. "Hi Grandma."

"Hi honey," Grandma Karen returned, looking over her shoulder as she was peeling carrots. I kissed her cheek. "Hey, how does Adrian like working at the cafe?"

"He loves it! He definitely has what it takes to be an awesome waiter. Where are the boys?"

"Sleeping," Mom and Grandma echoed.

"And Lily?"

Lily had finished up her senior year at Columbia University School of Nursing, and we had all (including Andre) been invited to her graduation. Mom and Dad couldn't go because of the babies, but I went. Grandpa Larry had stayed with my parents to help them out. Now she was just studying like crazy for her board exams, which she had to fly back to New York City to actually take. She was looking at getting a job in New York City and living there permanently.

"Probably with Andre," Grandma replied. "Those two are attached at the hip."

I laughed. "For sure."

"I wonder where my dad is," Mom said aloud. "He should be here by now."

Just then, my phone went off in a text. I read it aloud: "'Picking up dessert at the bakery. Be there soon. Hugs, Grandpa.'" I laughed, "I love how he signs his name on the message, as if I don't know it's him." I tapped my hands on the white marble counter. "Mom, can Adrian come over after his shift?"

"What time will that be?"

"Well, he gets off at 10." I sent her a cheeky smile.

"That's so late."

"Please? He's going to college soon..." Lately, that had been my go-to whenever I wanted something that had to do with my boyfriend.

Mom sighed, and looked at me. "Fine. He can stay till midnight at the latest, and he's not sleeping over. Deal?"

"Deal. Can I help you both out?"

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

The market was bustling with people that Thursday evening. Lucas had picked up the breadcrumbs rather quickly, and was weaving his way through the aisles after picking up some pretty flowers that he knew Peyton would love. He stopped, seeing a familiar face.

"Larry!" Sure enough, his father-in-law turned around. He was easy to spot in his favorite red baseball cap, and he carried a box in his hand–presumably tonight's dessert. He smiled at seeing his son-in-law.

"Hey!"

Lucas clapped Larry on the arm in greeting. "Apple pie, I see. Excellent choice. Funny running into you in the frozen food aisle."

"Was just picking up some vanilla ice cream. What are you doing here?"

"Peyton needed breadcrumbs," Lucas explained.

Larry chuckled, and then suddenly his face morphed into a frown. The color faded from his brown eyes. He looked at Lucas, but really it was like he was looking _through_ him.

"...Larry?" Lucas asked, watching as Larry brushed his thumb along the left side of his face. "Are you alright?"

Larry tried to smile, but his smile was uneven. The sight made goosebumps rise at the back of Lucas' neck. Something was wrong. "Larry," Lucas said again. "Are you OK?"

The pie box fell out of Larry's left hand, and he dropped to his knees.

"Larry!" Lucas shouted, and then he watched his father-in-law completely collapse onto his stomach, on the tile floor. Lucas reached for his cell phone, but his pocket was empty–he'd left his phone in the car. "SOMEBODY HELP!" Lucas saw that people began to congregate at the end of the aisle. A woman and man began running towards them. "SOMEBODY CALL 911!"

The woman knelt by Larry's side. "What happened?!"

"I don't...he just collapsed. He touched the left side of his face and when he smiled, his smile was uneven." The man's expression was a grave one. "...What?" Lucas asked, terrified of what the answer might be.

"I'm a paramedic. Those are signs of a stroke!"

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

"I wonder where Luke is with the breadcrumbs," Mom said. "He's taking forever."

My phone started ringing, from a number not saved in my contact list. "….Hello?"

 _"_ _Ella. It's Dad."_

"Oh hey, we were just wondering what the heck happened to you. Did you get lost?"

 _"_ _Ella, honey, listen to me._ _Your mother isn't answering her phone._ _I'm at the hospital. It's not me, it's Grandpa Larry."_

My face drained of its color and my stomach began to churn. "What happened?"

Mom and Grandma turned to me, and I stared right into my mother's beautiful eyes.

"What's the matter!" Mom shouted, her eyes wide. Grandma put a hand on her arm to steady her.

I thrust the phone in Mom's direction, and she grabbed it from me. "Luke, babe, what is going on!? You're scaring me!" Mom's reaction to Grandpa being in the hospital was a train wreck I couldn't stop watching. Her face changed, and she covered her mouth with her hands. "What do you mean! Is that what they said?!...Well is he conscious? Oh, God..."

"What's going on?!" Grandma asked. Mom hung up the phone, and covered her eyes with her palm. Grandma moved Mom's hand from her face. "Peyton, what's happened?"

Mom was too distraught to speak, so I spoke for her. "Grandpa Larry is in the hospital. They think he had a stroke."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x


	2. Belief

**As promised, here is chapter one. I know you guys are out there, and I know you can show more love! Don't be shy. It makes it more fun!  
**

 **There are time jumps in this chapter, so read carefully. Oh, and I've decided to give chapter titles a try! Hooray!**

 _Chapter One_

Belief

"They think he had a stroke." I stood there, words sticking to my tongue like paste. My grandfather flashed behind my eyes...his laugh, his smile, our last conversation.

"I have to go!" Mom shut off the stove and ran upstairs to her bedroom to change, while I sat with Grandma Karen. I didn't talk, only listened as Grandma called Andy to get to the house as soon as he could. Mom was absolutely frantic trying to put on jeans and a sweatshirt. She ran down the stairs, tears in her eyes. "I have bottles of milk in the refrigerator, Karen..."

Grandma stood up. "I got this. I called Andy; he's coming right now, and he's going to take you to the hospital. OK?"

"Okay..." Mom wiped at her eyes, and suddenly made her way to the front porch. Grandma and I looked at each other, then we made our way to follow her.

Mom stood on the front porch, staring at the street where Andy would be driving down to fetch her any minute now.

"Peyton..." Grandma said, her voice full of lament.

When Andy's car finally approached, Mom turned and was crying. "You take care of my babies," she said, holding onto Grandma for steadiness.

"Of course, of course," Grandma said. She wiped Mom's tears away with her thumb. "Peyton, I have it. I have all of them. You just go. OK? Just go."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Andy tried hard to keep up with Peyton when they pulled up to the hospital's emergency entrance. Her walk was brisk and quick, and she didn't relax until she saw Lucas. He was leaning on the door of an inconspicuous trauma room, his hand covering his eyes. It was obvious to anyone that he was anxious–a rare sight for a man usually so calm in crisis.

"Luke!"

He turned and his face fell. "Hey," he said. He opened his arms and Peyton ran into them.

"Is he conscious? What's going on?"

"He's in there," Lucas pointed to behind him. "But he's having trouble moving his left side." Lucas took his wife's hand and led her inside. Andy stood behind them.

Larry lay on a hospital bed, looking as frail as Peyton had ever seen him. Doctors and nurses surrounded him, the air around him somber and morose.

"….Dad?" Peyton asked, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Ms. Sawyer?" came a gentle, yet assured, voice.

Peyton looked past Lucas to her right. She hadn't heard that name in _years._ A man stood in a white coat and light blue scrubs wearing glasses. "I'm Dr. Beiringer. I gave your father what's called a tPA, or a tissue plasminogen activator, which is given through this IV in his arm," Dr. Beiringer motioned to the IV in Larry's arm. "Since your husband acted fast, the tPA was administered early enough that it _could_ improve your father's chances of recovery from this ischemic stroke. Mr. Sawyer is a candidate for an endovascular procedure called a mechanical thrombectomy, in which we try to remove the large blood clot with a wired cage device. We have to thread a catheter through an artery in the groin up to the blocked artery in his brain. It's very dangerous, but it would improve his chances of recovery even more. I'd need to do it now."

"OK," Peyton said, feeling dizzy.

"Ms. Sawyer, I need your consent."

"Do it," Peyton said, squeezing Lucas' hand. "Just do it."

Dr. Beiringer nodded and started ordering the staff to prepare the patient. "Let's move, people!"

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

With the boys asleep, the house was eerie and silent. I went to my room and put on some of Ellie's records just to make some kind of noise, and not feel so alone. I stared at myself in the mirror. I'd gotten a little taller. My hair had grown out longer, still more wavy than curly. My breasts had gotten bigger, too. My legs were still the same, aching with muscle pains, my balance off. The scars remained, jagged stories of my pain, my struggles and triumphs.

I was having my fourth surgery this summer. I had decided for sure, as y'all know, back in April. My mom once asked me, quite harshly, _do you want to have a crooked leg for the rest of your life?_ And I knew then: things had to change.

A knock on the door stole my attention from the mirror. It was my grandmother. "Hey," I said, moving to sit on my bed.

"How're you holding up, kiddo?" she asked, sitting next to me.

"Still in shock, I guess. Just don't know how this could've happened."

"Me either," Grandma said, putting a hand on my back. "But your grandpa Larry is one strong man."

"Yeah...My surgery's gonna get cancelled, isn't it."

Grandma put her hand on my back. "...Well, it could get postponed, at the very least."

I sat with her words.

"Are you hungry? I finished making the eggplant Parmesan, if you want some?"

"I don't think I can eat right now," I answered. "Thanks, though."

"You're welcome."

"Hey, Grandma?"

"Yeah?"

"Adrian's shift ends at 10. Mom said he could come over. I doubt Mom will be back by then, but would it be alright with you if he did stop by? I know he can't spend the night."

Grandma Karen sent me a small smile. "Whatever you need, honey."

Miles' cries resonated through the baby monitor Grandma held in her left hand. "Oh, that's my cue," she joked. "Riley will probably wake up, too."

"I'll go with you," I said, following my grandma to Riley's room, where Miles was temporarily residing until my parents got back. It was just to keep the boys in one place for now.

Miles was bawling, tears cascading from his green eyes, most likely due to hunger. Riley was standing up in his crib across the room, watching his little brother. "Grammy!" he held out his little arms for her.

"Hi handsome," Grandma said, smiling. "One second, let me just get your brother. Look! Ella's here."

Riley's face lit up at the mention of me, and my heart warmed up. "Hi, baby!" I said, and the sight of him made me want to start crying. I wanted to pick him up, but I just couldn't for obvious reasons.

Riley sat up in his bed, which was surrounded by protective guards so he didn't climb out. He began to moan in displeasure.

"Ella, try and lean on the bed and pick him up," Grandma said, holding Miles.

"Uh..." I said, leaning my legs on the guards. Riley reached for me desperately. "Like this?"

"Exactly," Grandma moved to stand next to me. "Lean on the bed, and just reach down now, and pick Riley up."

"What if I lose my balance and drop him?"

"You won't. I'm standing right here."

"But you have Miles."

"Ella, deep breaths, honey. You can do this."

I reached down with both hands while leaning on the crib which remained still. I picked Riley up, and he was heavy. He wrapped his arms around me, and I leaned down to give him little kisses on his temple. "Grandma..." I said, my voice full of panic as I started to lose my balance.

Quickly, Grandma put Miles down and grabbed my arm. "You have him," she said, her voice soothing. "Just put him down on his feet."

With Miles still bawling, I was getting a headache. I slowly leaned down and put Riley down on his feet. He was wearing the cutest little pajamas with music notes on them. "I did it."

"Of course you did," Grandma said, patting my back. She brought Miles up into her arms. "Let me feed this little one."

"I'll feed Riley," I offered, and Grandma smiled and winked at me. "Riley, are you hungry?"

Riley nodded, grinning. "YA!"

I laughed. "Okay then," I motioned to the door. "C'mon, baby!"

Riley reached for my hand. Lately he liked to hold people's hands and pull them along. I could lose my balance. From a 1 and half year old. Pathetic, right? "OK, but no pulling, Ri Ri," I said. "Gentle, OK?"

I gave Riley my hand, and began walking with him. Riley was watching me, and inevitably he started running. So as not to fall in front of my little brother, I let go of his hand. "I'm following you," I said. "Go on."

Riley ran off. The house was entirely baby-proofed, so I didn't have to worry about my brother tumbling down the stairs like I once did. Grandma Karen followed.

Juggling Riley and Miles was proving to be pretty tough. Grandma was feeding Miles, and in the meantime, I sat with Riley on the kitchen floor (since I could not pick him up and put him in his deluxe feeding chair) and watched as he ate a snack. "Good?" I asked him.

Riley nodded, looking adorable with apple sauce all over his mouth. I reached over and wiped his lips with a bib.

Thankfully, Miles was taking the bottle. "I think we got this, Grandma."

"By the grace of God," Grandma joked. She rocked back and forth on her feet and burped my baby brother. "Let me put Miles down and I'll feed Riley," she said, and then made her way back to the boys' room. I watched Riley finish up his apple sauce, and then patted my lap.

"C'mere," I said. Riley, always affectionate and loving, moved into my embrace. I squeezed him tight and kissed the top of his blonde head. "Do you know how much I love you?" I began to tickle him.

He laughed his magical laugh, squirming in my arms. Grandma soon returned, and we put Riley in his chair and fed him some dinner. He knew nothing about the turmoil Mom was going through right now, and I almost envied him.

It was almost 8pm when Grandma Karen got a call from Lucas. "Hi, honey. How is everything?…The boys are fine, Ella is fine. Riley and Miles ate. I'm putting Riley to bed now..." I watched as Grandma's face fell. "Oh, no….OK. It's fine, Lucas. I'll sleep over if you need me to; don't be crazy, I'm here." Grandma passed the phone in my direction. "Your dad."

I took the phone, my heart beginning to pound. "Hi Dad...what's the status?"

 _I heard my dad take a breath. "They're doing everything they can. The doctor says the next 72 hours are critical. Ella...he had a **massive** stroke. And I mean, massive." _

"Oh," I said, tears in my eyes. "Does he recognize any of you?"

 _"Yes. But he's having trouble moving his left side still."_

I nodded, even though he couldn't see me. "...How's Mom?"

 _"She's….hanging on. Not really thinking straight, but hanging on."_

"Can you tell her I love her?"

 _"Of course."_

"OK," I said.

"I'm _really not sure what time we'll be home; are you going to be alright? Did you eat?"_

"I'm not really that hungry."

 _"Try to eat something and get some rest, OK?"_

"OK. And just so you know, Adrian's coming over after his shift, after 10. Grandma said it was alright."

 _"That's fine. I have to get going, but I'll see you soon, OK?"_

"OK. Bye."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"That was Ella, yeah?" Andy asked, sitting next to Lucas in the hospital hallway. "Are they managing alright?"

Lucas was about to answer when Peyton approached, and both men stood up. "Was that Ella? Is she OK? Are the boys OK without me?"

"Everything's fine at home, Peyt. Ma's got it covered. Just focus on your dad."

Peyton turned to Andy and said, "You should go. Somebody has to relieve Karen."

Lucas knitted his brows. "Peyton, my mom has it down. It's alright."

"No, it's getting late," Peyton protested. "You both can go, and I can take a cab home later."

"What?" Lucas asked. "Baby, don't be-"

"We're not going to let you just take a cab home, Peyton," Andy said. "If it would make you feel better that Lucas went home in a bit, I can stay with you and drive you home, whenever that may be."

"But..."

"One of us is staying with you," Lucas spoke. "I'm not leaving you alone."

Peyton nodded, leaning into Lucas' chest. "I'm just so scared. He's my dad."

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

It was 10:15pm. Shortly after Dad called, we read Riley his bedtime story, and he was sound asleep now. Grandma Karen fell asleep on an air mattress in Riley's room. I tried to convince her to just sleep in the guest room, but she didn't want to. I guessed it was because she didn't want to be alone.

I was in my room, laying on my bed and looking at an old photo album tucked away in my bookshelf. There were pictures of baby me and Grandpa Larry. I ran my thumb over his frozen face. Tears stung my eyes, and thankfully my phone rang, a welcome distraction. "...Hi, Lion."

 _"Hey, baby. I just got out. I'll see you in a bit?"_

"...Sure."

 _"What's wrong?"_

Typical of Adrian, to figure out something's wrong in just one word. "Adrian…. my grandfather is in the hospital. He had a massive stroke."

 _"Fuck. My God, Ella, I'm so sorry. I'm at my car; I'll be there soon, OK? You still want me to come over?"_

"My parents are at the hospital and everyone else is asleep. Please come, baby."

" _OK, OK, I'm coming."_

Not even 15 minutes later, Adrian knocked lightly on the font door. I greeted him with my finger to my lips. He nodded, and followed me upstairs to my room. He sat on my bed and kicked off his shoes, motioned for me to sit next to him. "So, what happened?"

I explained everything. How my dad and grandpa met up at the market, and how Grandpa started showing signs that something was terribly wrong. "A man was there who happened to be a paramedic, and he called for an ambulance."

"…Wow."

"I know. That probably saved my grandpa's life."

Adrian began rubbing my back. "Are you doing OK?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. Adrian, what if he dies?" I asked, my voice breaking. "What's gonna happen?"

Adrian exhaled, as though my question knocked the words out of him. "I'm not sure. I'm so sorry, baby, I am. C'mere." he bought me into his arms, and there I stayed, inhaling his scent.

"Can you lay down with me?"

"Of course," Adrian said. His glance danced over the open photo album of my grandfather, and I could see the hurt on his face. "Ella..."

I said nothing, just pulled Adrian by his tee shirt to lie down next to me on the bed. Our legs tangled together, his body heat keeping me warm like nothing else. He kissed my forehead, and I leaned on his chest. "My grandpa's the greatest," I said, the silence suffocating me.

"He's a cool guy."

I heard a noise from downstairs, and the front door opened. "That might be my mom," I said, and I jumped up from the bed and made my way out of the room, Adrian right behind me. I made my way downstairs and instead Dad was there, looking haggard. "…Hey."

"Hi," Dad said, running a hand down his face. "Your mom's still at the hospital, honey."

"OK. Is she with Andy?"

"Yes. He's gonna bring her home probably as soon as they get kicked out." I moved to hug my father, and he put an arm gratefully around me. "You doing okay?"

I nodded. "Trying. Grandma's sleeping."

Dad met Adrian's glance and said, "I don't want you driving home this late; you can stay over. You can sleep on the couch."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

When Peyton finally got home, it was past midnight. The house felt different somehow, haunted. After bidding goodnight to Andy who headed to the guest room, she wearily made her way up the stairs. Her body ached and her eyelids were heavy from all the crying. First, she made her way into Riley's room, and calmed seeing her oldest son in deep sleep, and her mother-in-law lightly snoring. Peyton saw that Karen had moved Miles' bassinet to be next to her, so she could keep an eye on both boys. Next, Peyton went to see Ella, who had fallen asleep next to a pile of tissues. The TV was on low, playing some movie Peyton didn't care to identify. Shutting the TV off, Peyton quietly gathered the tissues and bent to kiss her daughter's forehead. Ella stirred slightly, but didn't wake. When Peyton made it to the bedroom she shared with Lucas, she called out his name, her voice scratchy and hoarse.

Lucas emerged silently from the bathroom, leaving the door open only a crack. "Hey," he said, his voice heavy. He opened his arms, and Peyton fell into his embrace. "Shh...come here. Come with me," he said. He held out his hands and Peyton took them without a second thought. Lucas pushed the door to the master bathroom open, to reveal almost every inch of the room lit up in candles, with a bubble bath drawn.

"What is this?"

"My wife's had the day from hell. The least I can do is draw a bath for her."

Peyton just looked at him. She loved this man more and more every passing day. "I'm so tired, Luke," she said.

"Aw, I know," Lucas lamented, and he gently tugged her hand. "A nice hot bath and you'll fall right to sleep," he said, kissing her cheek. "Hm?"

Peyton nodded, her head so heavy it weighed her down.

"Arms up," Lucas said, shutting the door. Peyton lifted her arms over her head, letting her husband undress her with care, tenderness, and love. When she climbed into the bath, the hot water hit her sore muscles and she let out a breath. She leaned her head back and shut her eyes, somehow praying that this was all a dream. "I'll let you relax."

Peyton opened her eyes and saw her husband heading for the door. "Where are you going?" Lucas turned to her and chuckled somberly at seeing her shake her head like a petulant child. "Stay."

Lucas walked over and knelt by the bath, taking the loofah and gently running it over his wife's arms, shoulders, and neck. "It's amazing how everything can change in just a second."

"I know. Luke, I left him just laying there in the hospital!"

"Peyt, you stayed as late as they would allow you to. We'll go first thing in the morning."

Peyton nodded, though still uneasy. She shut her eyes and let Luke continue to wash her, going up her arms and over her chest, soon finishing up and letting her relax, as he stroked her forehead with his thumb. "I just don't understand how this could have happened. He was so _healthy..._ "

Lucas immediately understood. He always thought of Larry Sawyer as tough, though as proved by his severe depression when Anna Sawyer died, _not_ untouchable, invincible. Still, as far as Lucas knew, Larry ate right, stayed active, and was ridiculously independent. He would've _hated_ to be hooked up to all those machines, stuck and weak.

"When we see Dr. Beiringer tomorrow, we'll ask him all the questions we have."

"Were the boys and Ella really OK without me?"

"When I got home everyone was asleep except Ella. I let Adrian sleep over; I didn't want him driving late."

"I figured. Thank you, Luke." _For everything._ "I love you..."

"I love you, too," Lucas said, pecking his wife's lips. "You ready to get out and go to sleep?"

Peyton nodded, slowly standing on her feet, wherein Lucas put an arm around her and helped her out of the tub, gently wrapping her in a blue towel and leading her to the bed, where he put one of his old, oversized tee shirts over her head. "There you go," he said as she lay back against the pillow. He let go of her hand only to turn off the bathroom light, and to crawl into bed beside her. He then pulled her close, kissed her forehead. "Everything's gonna be OK, Peyton."

She breathed in his words from the air surrounding them both. Though she loved her husband beyond reason, and loved that he was trying to comfort her, she couldn't help but in her mind negate those words. With her husband holding her, Peyton cried herself to sleep.

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

The next morning, I woke up with my boyfriend's arm around me. When I moved against him, he stirred. "Hey," he said, his grin lopsided and sleepy.

"Hey," I returned. "Did you..."

"I sneaked up here at like two in the morning," Adrian explained. "Nobody noticed. Is that OK?"

"Of course," I said, leaning closer to him. I ran my fingers through his now shorter, (but still thick) hair. "I'm glad you came up here. What time is it?"

Adrian peered at the clock over my shoulder on the night table. "6:10."

"Fuck. I have to get ready to go to school soon." I kissed him several times, and he pulled me close by my waist. "I don't wanna."

Adrian brushed a strand of hair from my forehead. "Are you gonna be alright going to school right now?"

"If I stay home, I'm just gonna worry more. School will distract me." These last few weeks of school were always more fun than work, anyway.

"OK," he sweetly poked my nose with his index finger, something he was known to do.

A guitar solo that was my alarm went off, penetrating the silence. I whined into Adrian's shoulder. "C'mon now. You go shower."

"Fine," I said, turning off the alarm. "Are you gonna shower, too?"

"I could always join you," he said, sending me that sexy smirk of his. I held out my hand. "Oh...really?" he asked, sounding small and adorable. "I was kidding."

"I'm not." Adrian got up off the bed and took my warm hand. "I don't wanna be alone, babe. Really."

"Alright," Adrian said, his tone gentle. "I'm here, beautiful."

I pulled his hand in the direction of the door towards my bathroom. We peered into the hallway with caution, and it was empty. With everything that happened yesterday, Dad's probably making sure Mom's getting lots of rest. I put my finger to my lips, and we quietly walked to my bathroom. Once the door was shut and locked, Adrian undressed me after I put the water on.

Dad completely redid my bathroom and it had a seat, a bar, and a glass door with a detachable shower head. It was pretty sweet.

Adrian and I managed to shower together without getting caught, and once we were both dressed we made our way downstairs, after making sure there was no one to see that Adrian broke Dad's rule. Holding hands, we made our way to the kitchen and stopped short at seeing Grandma Karen sitting at the table, both baby monitors and a mug of steaming hot tea before her.

"Oh," I said, smiling cheekily. "Hi, Grandma."

"Hi, Mrs. Roe," Adrian waved.

Grandma smirked and watched us. She motioned to Adrian and asked, "Did you come from my granddaughter's room?"

"...Yes, ma'am."

"Are you gonna tell my dad?"

Grandma Karen cleared her throat. "I won't scold either of you this time, since there are more important things going on here that deserve our full attention. Right?"

"Right," Adrian and I echoed.

"What can I get you two for breakfast?"

"We can do breakfast, Grandma. You did so much last night."

"We got breakfast covered," Adrian agreed. "I make a mean waffle."

"He does," I said, and Grandma laughed.

"Sounds good. Try and be quiet, though. I don't want to wake up Peyton."

Adrian and I began making waffles for everyone. Shortly after we started, Andy woke up and greeted all of us in his soft, comforting voice. We all froze when we heard my mother's footsteps coming down the stairs. I grabbed Adrian's hand and he squeezed back just as hard.

Mom entered the kitchen, her eyes swollen. She looked so...delicate, like just a puff of wind would knock her down. This isn't the Mom I was used to seeing, but I knew she was only human. I also knew she loved her father so, so much, and this was probably killing her. So, I let go of my boyfriend's hand, and moved to hug my mother. She began to cry in my arms.

"It's going to be OK, Mom," I said, trying to listen to the conviction in my own voice. "It's gonna be OK!"

Andy moved to put his hand on Mom's back to comfort her. Another set of quiet footsteps signaled Dad's arrival.

Mom pulled away, wiping at her face. "Karen..." she said, her voice scratchy and hoarse. "Do you think you can...call my brother? I think he'd want to know."

Grandma nodded right away. "Of course. Don't worry."

"I just...I can't do this."

"I'll take care of it," Grandma said. "I'll take care of it."

"I have to get back to the hospital..." Mom said, looking at Dad.

"Okay, honey. Just, I want you to eat something first."

"Eat what?"

"We're making waffles," Adrian spoke up, his voice gentle.

Mom made a face. "I can't eat."

"How about some toast?" Dad tried, rubbing her back. "Something light."

"No, I can't, Lucas. I just want to go."

Miles' cries broke the heavy silence. Something in Mom's face changed, and she started crying again. "Oh, God..."

"It's OK, Mom," I said quickly. "It's OK. We have both of them; don't worry."

"I didn't even–"

"It's OK," I said again. "Why don't you get dressed."

"Andy and I will stay with them," Grandma said, and Andy nodded. "And we'll make sure Ella and Adrian get to school on time."

"How are you gonna get there?" Dad asked me.

"I can drive her," Adrian spoke. "I'm going that way, too."

"Be careful behind the wheel with my daughter," Mom said.

"Of course."

Mom nodded before going back upstairs, Dad right behind her. Andy followed to attend to Miles and Riley.

Adrian and I finished with the waffles and ate them, watched as Grandma Karen got her cell phone and dialed Uncle Derek and Aunt Lisa.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Derek Sommers bounded down the stairs carrying his pride and joy, his one-year-and-ten-days-old son, Aaron. They'd just had a big first birthday party for him. "Want some breakfast? Let's go!"

Aaron laughed his little laugh. He was a beautiful boy, with Lisa's eyes and lips. When Derek made his way into the kitchen, he saw his wife Lisa with her back to him. "...Hey," he said, his voice wary. Something was off about the way she was standing. "You OK?"

Lisa turned, and there was a look on her face that Derek didn't like one bit. "Der," she said, her voice heavy.

Derek gently put Aaron down, and the little one began his journey around the kitchen island, oblivious to the tension. "…. What happened?"

"That was Karen on the phone. Larry had a massive stroke last night."

"What?! Is he gonna be OK?"

"I don't know. It doesn't sound good, hon."

Derek shook his head, almost as if he was in denial. "I gotta call my sister."

"She's on her way to the hospital with Luke. She probably won't pick up."

"Well, we gotta go see her, then! We can't just stand here."

"I agree," Lisa said, putting our her hand.

"Great; then let's go."

"Take it easy; now?"

"Yes."

"Honey. Who're we gonna leave Aaron with?"

"We'll take him with us; he can play with Riley."

Lisa thought about it for only a second. "Let me just pack a breakfast for him and then we'll go."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Lily Scott was with Andre, and they were still lounging in her bed when her phone rang on the night table. In order to reach for the phone, Lily had to move Andre's arm that was draped across her belly. "Hi Mom…." Lily sat up. "What happened?!"

At that, Andre sat up as well, watching her.

"Will he be OK? How's Peyton?….OK. OK I'll come over. OK bye."

"Something wrong?" Andre asked, his voice full of concern.

"…Larry had a stroke!" Lily pushed the covers off her body and began getting dressed.

"What the hell happened?!"

"He collapsed in the supermarket. Get up! We have to go to my brother's house; my mom needs help with the boys and Aaron."

Andre got up quickly and began pulling jeans over his boxers. "Is he gonna be alright?"

"I don't know," Lily said, distracted. "I don't know."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"Mattie! Hurry up, you're gonna be late!" 12 year-old Matthew Scott's footsteps bounded down the stairs and entered the kitchen, backpack slung over one shoulder.

"Do I _have_ to go to school, Mom?" Matthew breathed. "School's almost out for the summer, anyway."

"Yes, you still have to go to school," Haley said, sipping her coffee in a to-go mug. "I thought you were loving the sixth grade?"

"I am," Mattie said, and revealed nothing else. Haley remembered fondly when Mattie was too embarrassed to have her drop him off the first day at Tree Hill Middle School. Instead, she parked across the street and watched him waltz right in, unbeknownst to him. Matthew reached across the counter for an apple and bit right into it. "Just, these last days before school's over are kinda pointless."

"You sound just like me," Nathan boomed, walking into the kitchen. Being a retired NBA superstar, Nathan Scott remained in the best shape of his life. He carried his youngest, four year-old Olivia Quinn, in his right arm. She looked just like Haley.

"Awesome," Matthew said, a grin on his face.

"Not awesome. I needed a tutor, Matthew." He ruffled his son's hair, now long and floppy, before kissing the top of his head.

Matthew made a funny face in Olivia's direction before saying, "Yeah, but that's how you met Mom." he raised his brows as if to say, _challenge that one._

Haley laughed, and reached for her cell phone as it started ringing. "It's Karen," she told the room. "Hi, Karen…."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Machines were buzzing in Peyton's ear as she desperately watched her father breathe in and out.

"Honey," came Lucas' soothing voice. He was standing in the doorway. "Derek and Lisa are here."

At the mention of her brother, Peyton teared up immediately. She walked out into the hallway, rubbing her arms up and down because it was so cold. She saw her brother standing there, someone Larry looked at as another son, and began to cry, hard.

Derek opened his arms so Peyton could walk into them. "We came here for you," he said. He was returning her hug with just as much force. "We came here for you!"

Lisa moved to go on the other side of the hug, holding Peyton upright.

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

Adrian pulled up to THHS and cut the ignition. I'm not just saying this: my boyfriend's a great driver. He took to it naturally. He turned to me from behind the wheel in his silver Subaru Forrester. "Ella. You know I'm here for you if you need anything, right?"

"I know, Lion," I said, brushing my hand across his cheek. He had a bit of stubble now; I liked it.

"You sure you're gonna be OK in school today?"

"I have no alternative," I said, staring at all the happy high school kids who had no idea about the drama going on in my family.

"We could play hooky," he suggested. "Spend the day at the beach or boardwalk or something."

I leaned in to kiss him and inhale his cologne. "Would you hate me if I just stayed a goodie two shoes?"

"I could never hate you," he said, kissing my forehead. "C'mon."

x-x-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-x-x-

That night, I was laying in bed trying to read my book when my parents walked in, nearing 1am. "Mom," I said, sitting up. "How's Grandpa?"

"Not much change," Mom said, holding onto Dad's hand. "But he's hanging on."

I nodded, watched as my parents sat on my bed. "Ella, we want to talk to you."

"OK," I said. "What's up?"

Dad cleared his throat. "We both know you wanted to have your surgery this summer, and how important it is to you. It's important to us, too. But with everything that's happened...I'm sorry, sweetie, but we rescheduled it."

"Oh," I said, swallowing. "You already called Dr. Farrell's office?"

"This morning," Dad replied.

"OK...rescheduled for when?" I looked to Mom, who stared back at me with tears in her eyes.

"We're not sure," Dad answered. "It all depends on Grandpa Larry."

I nodded, swallowed the lump in my throat. "OK. I understand."

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

 _Tuesday,_ _July 31_ _st_ _, 2029:_ _About t_ _wo months later_

The end of July meant several things. Lily had passed her NCLEX and was now a registered nurse in the state of New York. I had celebrated my 17th birthday on the 17th of his month. Grandpa got one year older in the rehab center. Jamie and Lily had celebrated their 22nd birthdays on the 15th of June. Dad celebrated his 41st birthday on June 6th. Really, we were all getting older. However, most importantly, July 31st was the last full day my grandfather would be in rehab. He was coming home.

I followed my parents through the front doors of the rehabilitation center. Today, we were visiting Grandpa Larry. He'd been in the stroke unit of the hospital for five weeks, and the remainder of the time he'd spent in the rehabilitation center, relearning how to eat, swallow, and walk. See, my grandfather was already beating the odds, because the doctors told my parents that Grandpa Larry would never walk again, that he'd spend the rest of his life in a wheelchair.

He proved them wrong.

When we walked into Grandpa Larry's room, he was wearing a hospital gown, and was being moved out of his bed by a Hoyer Lift. A Hoyer Lift is essentially a patient lift used to transport patients from their bed to a chair or the reversal using hydraulics. The doctors also told us that it was likely Grandpa would have major cognitive deficits. When I mentioned that to Mom, as gently as I could, all she said was this:

 _You have no idea how strong my father is._

I watched as Grandpa settled into his chair, subdued and morose. "You look good, Dad!" Mom said. _Bless her optimism._

Grandpa Larry stared right at her, and then gave her the middle finger.

We all laughed. "Looks like you're feeling better, Grandpa," I said, walking over and patting his shoulder. "You're getting scruffy," I noted, poking his beard hairs.

"He wouldn't let me shave him," the CPA, Suzanne, said.

"Why?" My mom asked Grandpa, putting her hands on her hips.

 _-x-_

 _"Ok, Ella," Mom said, her face sullen. I took a deep breath and followed my mother into the hospital room, to see my grandfather for the first time since he'd had his stroke. He was laying in the hospital bed, hooked up to all sorts of machines. His face was pale, his hair longer than I remembered. "You can't cry," Mom said, holding my hand. I knew it was more for her sake than my own._

 _I sat in the chair by the bed and took my grandfather's hand, still warm to the touch. "Hi Grandpa," I said. I squeezed his hand, and he opened his eyes. He was looking at me. He couldn't talk, but he was looking at me. I exhaled, all teary-eyed. "Hi." I reached into the pocket of my leather jacket and pulled out my I-Phone, and opened Spotify. "I want to play you a song." I scrolled through the playlist and hit play on the one song I hoped my grandfather would remember. Frankie Ruiz's_ _smash salsa hit_ _"Tu Con El" or "You with Him," sounded off in the quiet space. I was sure to keep the volume_ _really_ _low so as not to_ _cause a ruckus. "Remember this song, Grandpa?" I asked, my tears threatening to fall. "You and I listened to it when I was learning Spanish, and you would dance along to it in the kitchen, even though you had no idea what the words meant."_ _I wiped my face with my free hand and began to sing along in Spanish._

 _Tu con el_

 _No me sorprende sospechaba terminar así_

 _Yo solamente fui la excusa para serle ver_

 _Que tu podías si querías vivir sin su amor_

 _Perdóname no me di cuenta de ese juego_

 _Y me enamore después fue tarde_

 _No podía ya volver atrás_

 _Y te quería cada día mas y mas_

 _To my surprise, my grandfather began to move his shoulders back and forth. He was dancing to the music. I laughed, laughed and cried at the same time, and Mom did the same. Dad came into the room, and Mom told Grandpa to go ahead and dance again._

 _"Aw," Dad said, smiling. "There you go."_

 _-x-_

"Don't you want to look nice and shaved, Dad?" Mom asked, snapping me back to the present. "You're getting discharged tomorrow!"

"I don't need a fucking shave," Grandpa barked, his throat still scratchy from the healing tracheotomy. "Let's go."

All of us did research about ischemic stroke after this happened, and we found out that Grandpa's emotional affect had completely changed. In other words, he didn't react to things the same way. His filter was gone, and he spoke his mind. He was a totally different person. To many, he seemed harsh and cold, and he was...but he was also my grandpa, and I was just happy to still have him here with us.

"Tomorrow, Grandpa. You're going home tomorrow."

-x-

 _Another night getting home past midnight, was the thought going through Peyton's head. She'd been to the hospital every day this week, and she went home when they kicked her out. She had left plenty of bottles for Miles, but she still felt so guilty that she was spending this much time away from her babies, from Ella, from Lucas._

 _"Hey," he said, standing in the doorway of their bedroom. "How is he?"_

 _"About the same," Peyton replied. "I'm so tired, babe."_

 _"Come here," he said, motioning for her to come into the bedroom. He shut the door behind them, watched as Peyton began undressing. "Need help?"_

 _Peyton turned to him and let him unbutton her blouse. "When my father gets out," she said, her voice completely serious, "I don't care what we have to do to make room; he's living with us."_

 _"I wouldn't have it any other way, Peyt. The guest room can be his room, and it's on the first floor, so he won't have to worry about the stairs."_

 _-x-_

That night, I overheard my parents talking in the master bedroom. Miles' bassinet was beside their bed. "He's probably going to hate living here," Mom said, cradling two-month-old Miles in her arms. He looked up at his mama and smiled.

"Peyton...you don't know that," Lucas said, rubbing her back. He made a funny face in Miles' direction, and the baby cooed in response, sticking his hand in his mouth.

Peyton leaned down and kissed Miles' forehead. "Yes I do, Lucas. He was _so_ independent. He cherished his own space. And you've seen him. He's a different person. He's…. unkind. He's lost all of his inhibitions. Remember when Brooke and Julian visited him last?"

 _-x-_

 _"Larry," Brooke said, with all her cheeriness. Her sexy heels echoed off the tile floor. "Standing up and looking good!"_

 _Larry said nothing, not really acknowledging that Brooke and Julian were there, to be fair, but untied his robe to reveal nothing underneath–something he would've never done before the stroke._

 _Brooke and Julian turned around, and they both tried not to laugh from the shock and all the nakedness. "OK, Larry!" Julian said, and Brooke covered her face with her hand._

 _"What happened?" Peyton asked, standing in the doorway. Of course now Larry was wearing his blue hospital garb, looking perfectly innocent._

 _"Oh, nothing," Brooke said, waving off Peyton's concern with her hand. "Your dad just flashed us, that's all."_

 _"What?!" Peyton cried, and she started laughing. "I'm so sorry. Dad! You need to cover up and put it away!"_

-x-

"You have to admit, the way Julian told that story was pretty funny," Lucas said. "Babe, don't worry. Everything's going to be fine. You know how crazy your dad is about his grandchildren. I think he'll like living here."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x- **EGS-** x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

 _Wednesday, August 1_ _st_ _, 2029_

Today is the day my grandfather comes home to us. Dad went to go pick him up, while me, Mom, Grandma Karen and Lily helped prepare the house. We were only having them and Adrian over for dinner. Mom wanted something quiet so Grandpa didn't get overwhelmed.

By the time Dad pulled into the driveway, the house was near spotless. "Here we go," Mom said, though I could tell she was nervous. Dad opened the front door, and me and Mom stood in the foyer, each of us holding a baby monitor. Riley was going to wake up from his nap any minute now. Grandpa Larry walked with a cane inside the house. "Why are you both standing there?" he barked at us.

"We're welcoming you home, Grandpa," I said.

"You look like idiots."

 _-x-_

 _I walked into my room to find Mom wiping off my dresser. She turned to me when she saw me in the doorway, looking forlorn and exhausted. She'd been going to the hospital to see Grandpa Larry every night this week, getting home at 12:30am on the early days, only to get up early from Miles' crying. She spent part of the day taking care of the boys, before Grandma Karen relieved her, and she headed back to the hospital._

 _"You OK, Mom?"_

 _She looked at me and said, "He's never gonna be the same."_

 _-x-_

"Thanks?" I said, laughing. "Welcome home, Grandpa." I opened my arms and moved to hug him, and he was stiff against me.

"Let go," he ordered. "Off!"

I let go, and for a moment ignored the pain in my heart.

"Dad, want to go see your room?" Mom asked.

"I'm hungry."

"I'll give you something after you see your room first, alright? It's right over here." Mom took Grandpa's arm and together they walked to what was now Grandpa's room.

"Dad," I said, and my father turned to me. "How has Grandpa seemed to you?"

Dad sighed. "Well. He's seemed a little...slower," he said, and I knew he didn't necessarily mean slower physically, though that was true as well. "What do you think?"

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

When Adrian arrived, dinner was being served. "Hi Mr. Sawyer," he said in Grandpa's direction, who sat across from him eagerly awaiting the food. "How are you feeling?"

"Not good," Grandpa answered. "I'm not the same Larry I used to be."

A profound silence washed across the table. I didn't dare meet Mom's gaze. "Well, it takes time, huh?" Dad encouraged, his words gentle. "It takes time."

Grandpa's nod was stiff. He reached for the serving platter of pasta, and that was our sign that dinner had officially commenced.

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

I had passed my parents' bedroom after brushing my teeth and washing up for bed (even though I wasn't really going to go to bed yet).

"Ella," came Dad's voice.

I stopped. "Yeah?" I opened the door only to find Mom breastfeeding Miles, sitting up in bed with Dad beside her, holding Miles up so Mom could get some rest. "Oh...sorry!"

"It's OK, honey," Mom said, and she looked calm. "Get in here."

I made my crooked walk to the bed, watching my baby brother eat his dinner.

"Your mom and I have something we want to tell you."

I watched my parents warily. "...What?"

"We rescheduled the surgery. It's on August 24th. We already talked to Aunt Brooke about it, and she offered to have us stay at her apartment near Central Park."

"What about Brooklyn?"

"That house is only available for rent during the summer," Mom chipped in. "The owners of the house will already be back from Vermont by then. The apartment will be easier for your grandfather because it has less stairs, anyway."

"...We're taking Grandpa with us?" I asked, without thinking.

"Ella," Mom admonished. "Of course we are; what else are we going to do with him?"

"Right. Sorry." I took a deep breath. "August 24th. That's soon."

"The sooner the better, and the less school you'll miss," Dad said. "We talked to Emilie in Dr. Farrell's office, and she said to anticipate being out of school for at least a month."

"OK," I said. "Will I be getting home instruction?"

"Do you _want_ home instruction?" Dad asked.

"...Not really," I answered, and my parents laughed. "I'll have someone bring me the homework and just learn on my own. I'm going to be doped up on pain meds anyway, why would I want someone from the Board of Ed all up in my space?"

"Fair enough," Dad said. "Does the rest of it sound like a good plan to you?"

"Don't have much choice, do I?" My parents looked somber. "...That was a joke."

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

Later, I was twisting and turning in bed. It was just one of those nights where I couldn't get to sleep, no matter how hard I tried. For the near three years that Adrian and I had been a couple, I got used to spending the occasional night beside him, and even that made sleeping alone so much worse–waking up alone, too. I couldn't help but think that in a few weeks, Adrian was going off to college in Philadelphia… and that was the end of our constant hanging out, our beloved nights together.

I overheard my mother and my grandfather talking, and curiosity drove me out of bed. I opened the door to see quite a sight: my grandfather was kneeling by the toilet, Mom standing beside him. Urine had trickled across the floor. Mom was trying to get Grandpa to stand up, but he was too weak.

"Dad, push up on your left leg," Mom tried, her voice above a whisper. Grandpa was doing the opposite of what Mom was telling him to do. "No, the other leg….I don't understand." Mom turned to me when she realized I was watching. "Ella, go get your father…please."

I nodded and walked into the master bedroom, where Dad lay sleeping. Since rehab, Grandpa had grown overly attached to Dad, practically worshiped the ground he walked on. "Dad..." I tried, shaking him awake. "Dad!"

Dad's eyes opened and he shot up to sit. "What's wrong!"

"Mom needs your help. Grandpa Larry is on his knees in the bathroom...and he had an accident."

"OK," Dad said, getting up right away. He followed me out into the hallway. I could do nothing but watch as my father tried to help my grandfather off the floor, with the patience of a saint. I couldn't help but wonder if there was hope for us yet.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-


	3. Light On My Shoulder

**Enjoy and review, please. Time jumps, read carefully.**

 _Chapter Two_

Light On My Shoulder

 _Thursday, August 9_ _th_ _, 2029_

This weekend, we were invited to stay at a house Aunt Brooke and Uncle Julian rented in the Outer Banks, about four and a half hours away from Tree Hill. According to Mom and Dad, the place had six and a half bathrooms. Six and a half! Mom wasn't sure if she should bring her father anywhere, but Aunt Brooke convinced her that the fresh air would be great for Larry. Here's who was also coming: Uncle Nathan and Aunt Haley and the little ones, Jamie and Brigi, and finally Uncle Derek and Aunt Lisa with Aaron.

Right after Miles was born, Dad caved and bought a black luxury four-door Ford Escape. As much as he cherished his Ford Mustang, and as much as Mom adored her 1963 Mercury Comet, they both knew that those vehicles weren't ideal for Riley and Miles, and _especially_ for long trips like these. They still kept the cars, they just had another now. So, Mom, Dad, Grandpa Larry, Riley, and Miles were to ride in the Ford Escape, while I drove with Adrian in his Subaru.

"Don't speed," Mom warned Adrian, closing the door after putting on Grandpa's seatbelt. "And follow us."

"OK, Mom," I said, chewing on a Twizzler, the perfect road trip snack.

"I'm serious."

"I won't speed," Adrian promised. He watched as my mom walked over to me and hugged me hard.

"Mom, chill. It's four and a half hours."

"Yeah well that's a long drive. Be careful, alright? If we need to pull over, I'll call you."

"OK." I waved as Mom climbed into the car, and I climbed into the passenger seat of the Forrester.

Adrian clicked on his seatbelt and I did the same, the engine roaring to life. "Tunes?"

I connected my phone to the car's AUX cord. "Check."

"Snacks?"

I held up the Twizzlers, pretzels, and waters. "Check."

"Awesome. Let's do it!"

"Wait," I said, pulling Adrian by his shirt close to me for a kiss. "OK, now we can go."

Adrian shook his head and put his foot to the gas pedal right as the music began to play, following my parents' Ford down the street and eventually, onto the highway.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"Lucas, go slow, OK?"

"Peyt, don't worry," Lucas said, after he noticed Peyton looking behind her every three minutes. "I'm driving slow."

Peyton let out a breath and nodded. Her father was seemingly in a good mood and was keeping Riley occupied in his carseat, playing games with him and laughing with him.

"Just try and relax," Lucas said, patting the top of his wife's hand. "Enjoy the ride."

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

When we arrived, Aunt Brooke and Uncle Julian were by the pool with their kids, 12 year-old (almost 13) Natalie and 11 year-old twins Andrew and Jude.

"ELLA!" Natalie bellowed, lurching at me for a hug. The twins, who grew to idolize Adrian, did the same for him.

"Hey," I said, laughing and patting her head. "How're ya?"

"I'm good! Wanna go swimming?"

"Natalie, take it easy, they just got here," Aunt Brooke called from a lounge chair. "Cookie! Are you hungry?"

"I could eat," I said. I turned to see my parents enter the pool area from the driveway. Dad was carrying Miles, and Mom was carrying Riley whilst walking beside Grandpa Larry, whose gait (with his cane) was a slow one.

"Larry!" Aunt Brooke said, standing up. "How's it going?" She walked over, in her shades and sun hat, to kiss my grandpa on the cheek.

"I've been better," Grandpa answered, before he greeted the twins and Natalie.

Once everyone got settled in, we all congregated by the pool to eat lunch. Grandpa wolfed down his hot dog, and I watched my parents feed the boys. "Grandpa," I called across the table. He looked up at me. "Wanna go swimming?"

"In there?" Grandpa pointed to the pool. "No way."

"Why not, Dad?" Mom asked. "It'll be so good for you."

"The water's too cold."

"Grandpa, you haven't even felt the water; how do you know it's cold?"

"Well, I just don't want to."

I leaned over to my dad and said, "Dad, if you ask him to go swimming with you, he'll go. He adores you beyond reason." Dad rolled his eyes at me. "What? It's true."

About half an hour later, I had shed my clothes to reveal a red bikini underneath. Adrian was also in his navy blue swim trunks. I was in the pool with my boyfriend and watched as Dad tapped Grandpa Larry on the shoulder. "Come on, Larry."

"Where we going?"

"We're going swimming! Come on, you and me." Dad held out his hand, and Grandpa took it. Mom, Aunt Brooke and I burst out laughing. Once Grandpa was standing up, Dad helped Grandpa take off his tee shirt, and they walked hand in hand to the pool steps.

"Now, I forgot how to swim!" Larry shrieked, holding onto Lucas as the water hit his ankles.

"We're only going to stay in the shallow end," Dad promised in his soothing voice.

The twins had gotten into a splashing war, and the water was hitting Grandpa, making him squirm. "Guys, easy," Dad said, holding out his hand. "No splashing."

"Great job, Grandpa," I said, wading over to him. "You got it."

Grandpa had made it down to the final step, holding onto Dad's hand. He took the last step down and was completely in the pool. "Here," Dad said, linking my grandpa's hand with mine. "Dance with your granddaughter."

I held both of Grandpa's hands, and pulled them back and forth. "You look good, Grandpa."

"You look like Miss Universe," Grandpa said. He pointed at my boyfriend. "You be careful with my baby girl."

"Yes sir," Adrian said.

Dad and the twins tossed the volleyball around, until Riley ran up to the stairs of the pool, with Mom right behind him. Aunt Brooke was holding Miles.

"Be careful!" Grandpa Larry shrieked.

"Larry, Peyton's got him," Dad said, again in that soothing voice. Riley was wearing lime green swim trunks and a lime green life jacket with a smiley face on the front.

"Daddy," Riley said, pointing in Dad's direction.

"That's right, that's Daddy in the pool!" Mom said, ruffling Riley's hair. "You're so smart."

"Peyton, I can take him," Uncle Julian said, grinning at Riley. "You rest."

"You sure?"

"Positive."

"Thanks," Mom said, squeezing Uncle Julian's arm.

"Come on, Riley, let's make a big splash!"

Dad opened his arms and Riley launched into them. "My boy," Dad said. "You like the water?"

"Larry in the pool!" Came Aunt Lisa's voice. She, Uncle Derek and Aaron had arrived for this special weekend getaway. "Alright!"

"Lisa!" Grandpa said, smiling.

Aunt Lisa and Uncle Derek greeted everyone, had something to eat and soon little Aaron was joining us in the pool also wearing a life jacket, in blue. The last to arrive were Uncle Nathan, Aunt Haley, Matthew, and Olivia, along with Jamie and Bridget.

All of us were in the pool by the early evening, except Mom, Aunt Brooke, and Aunt Haley. Grandpa Larry was watching us, content with drinking a virgin margarita and listening to the music on the stereo.

Adrian came up from behind me, swooping me into his arms. My legs poked out from the water and I got cold. "Hi."

"Hey," I said, nuzzling my nose with his.

"You getting tired, or are you OK?"

"A little tired; and a little cold."

"You wanna get out?"

"Maybe we can hangout inside 'till dinner," I said, staring at him.

He nodded. "OK; let's go."

With Adrian's hand in mine, we got out of the pool, took turns in the outdoor shower, and dried off, Adrian with his towel, and me with my robe. The breeze was enough to make me shiver. I took Adrian's hand once more and we headed inside the massive house.

"Where are you guys going?" Grandpa Larry asked, staring us down.

"Inside Grandpa, we're cold. We'll be back for dinner."

I headed to the sofa bed where I would be sleeping in the airy living room, grabbed clothes from my duffel bag, and headed to the half bath to change into pajamas. Adrian waited until I was in my cozy bum pants to do the same. I waited for him, my knees curled to my chest on the couch. Eventually he joined me, putting his hand on my knee.

"There's a lot of people here," I said. "Just wanted a minute with you."

Adrian smiled before leaning in to kiss me, soft and unadorned. He pulled at my waist with one hand, so my hips touched his. Adrian and I chatted, laughed and joked around until dinner was ready.

We all had dinner and dessert together, and as the adults cleaned up with some help from the kids, we were debating on what movie to watch. Of course with so many people, we couldn't come to a consensus. Matthew came up with the idea to put all the names of the films in Grandpa Larry's baseball cap, and the slip of paper we picked held the name of the movie we were gonna watch.

Matthew, Andrew, and Jude wrote all the movies we discussed onto separate pieces of loose paper, then folded them and placed them into Grandpa's hat. "Ella," Andrew said, thrusting the hat towards me. "Wanna pick?" Andrew looked at me with those deep brown eyes. He looked like the perfect mix of Aunt Brooke and Uncle Julian.

"Sure," I said. I took the cap and shuffled the papers around, then reached in and grabbed a slip of paper to read it. " _Star Wars: The Force Awakens."_

"YES!" Jude and Matthew chorused.

"Dad!" Andrew called, running into the kitchen. "We're watching _Star Wars_!"

I rested Grandpa's hat on the coffee table, and leaned into Adrian's warm body. "I was kinda hoping you'd pick that one," he said, tangling his fingers through my hair.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. It's fun for everyone. Well, I should say almost everyone."

Aunt Brooke and Uncle Julian brought out two air mattresses, one for Andrew and Jude to share, and one for Adrian. Myself, Matthew, and Jamie and Bridget would be sleeping on separate sofa beds. Natalie was a little bummed that there was no room for her to sleep down in the living room with the rest of us, but I told her that at least she could watch the movie with us and then just go to Aunt Brooke's room when she felt like sleeping.

When all of us were settled, Uncle Julian popped in the movie, and the fun commenced. My parents had to put Riley to bed and check on Miles, so they weren't really paying attention. Neither were Uncle Derek and Aunt Lisa, as they were occupied with Aaron. I was surprised that most of the kids' attention held throughout the entire movie. I had to laugh at myself at how into it Adrian was: as we held hands and cuddled, his eyes didn't leave the television screen.

Towards the end of the film I could see that my little cousins, especially the twins, were getting tired. Still though, they stayed awake until the closing credits. As Uncle Julian shut the light to the living room and headed upstairs, Adrian crept back to my side without waking up my little family members.

"What are you doing?" I whispered, though I moved so the blanket could cover him, too. "They could wake up!"

"Chill, girl," Adrian whispered back, wrapping his arms around me. "Nobody's gonna wake up. It's pitch black in here."

I sighed, feeling the warmth of his body heat, his chest pressed against my back. I felt his palm travel on my bare leg in a soothing pattern. He placed kisses on my neck, before his hand pressed against my sleep shorts underneath the blanket we shared.

"Baby..." I said, my breathing getting slow and heavy. "We can't."

"Is it just because you're afraid they'll wake up?" Adrian asked, nibbling on my earlobe.

"We could get caught."

"We won't." He kissed my cheek. "But it's your call."

We lay in the dark, where I thought about it for a minute or two. It was three in the morning, and as far as I could tell all the little ones, and Jamie and Bridget, were fast asleep. Then, I thought about how Adrian was leaving for UPENN in a couple weeks, and the decision was an easy one. I turned to him and kissed him in the darkness, wrapping my arm around his wast and relishing in the way he pulled me toward him. He moaned into our next kiss, his hand going up and down my leg. I pulled the blanket up above both our heads and it suddenly got very hot, but we didn't care. Adrian reached down my sleep shorts and pressed hungrily against the fabric of my underwear.

"I want you," he whispered in my ear.

I guided his hand to press against my heat, underneath my panties. I felt him begin to finger me in the dark, and I moaned into his shoulder to keep quiet.

"You like that?" he asked, his voice rough and low.

My finger nails scraped along the skin of his neck, and my legs tightened up as per usual–no pain, though. He held me tightly to him, and I felt myself getting wetter and wetter as he kept touching me. I reached blindly underneath his blue boxers to feel him hard already. I began to stroke him as fast as I could, though the angle and positions we were in–facing each other–made it a bit difficult. I could tell he was about to moan, so I kissed him to muffle the sound.

We tried to make as little noise as possible. Yes I know there was family around, but I wasn't even sorry.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

 _Friday, August 10th, 2029_

The next morning, hours after Adrian snuck back onto his air mattress, we all had breakfast together. The air smelt of pancakes, fresh fruit, orange juice, and coffee. The adults scrambled to feed all the kids.

"Dad, get ready, we're going to the beach," Mom said, drinking a glass of orange juice, and feeding cut up blueberries to Riley.

"I'm not going to the beach," Grandpa said. Ever since his stroke, Grandpa negated everything Mom said. She said red, he said blue. He sat next to her at the table and continued to scarf down his breakfast.

"Yes you are. Everyone's going, and it'll be good for you to get out a little bit. You can relax on the sand."

"You're not going," Grandpa shot back.

"I have to stay in with Miles," Mom said. "You're going. End of discussion."

Eventually, everyone ate and dispersed from the kitchen table to get ready for the beach. Adrian and I were watching Riley, about to change him to go to the beach. Grandpa headed up to the second floor to his bedroom, Mom close behind him. After a few ordinary moments I turned, hearing a strange, strangled moaning coming from Grandpa's mouth. Then, Mom started screaming.

"JULIAN! JULIAN!"

Uncle Julian's footsteps were quick from the kitchen. "What's happening?!"

Mom was literally holding up Grandpa's weight so that he wouldn't fall down the stairs. With Adrian watching Riley, I ran outside and saw Aunt Lisa talking to Aunt Haley. "Aunt Lisa!"

"What's the matter!"

"My grandpa!" Aunt Lisa and Aunt Haley heard the screaming, and ran inside.

Uncle Julian was already on the phone with 911.

"Adrian, get Riley outside! Now!" I said, my eyes desperate.

"Come on, Ri," Adrian ushered, quickly picking him up and heading outside to the driveway.

"DAD!" Mom screamed.

"Larry, it's OK Larry," Aunt Lisa said, on her knees, turning Grandpa on his side in a dance I knew too well by now: he was having a seizure. "He's not breathing," Aunt Lisa announced, her voice hard, sharp. "Where's that ambulance!"

"HE ISN'T BREATHING!" Uncle Julian shouted into the receiver. "Please, hurry!"

"DAD! BREATHE, DAD!"

"Mom, it's OK!" I said, putting a hand on her back.

"BREATHE!"

"Mom, Mom try and relax...it's OK!"

Meanwhile Mom screamed, _breathe, Dad. Breathe._

Aunt Lisa began performing mouth to mouth on my grandfather to save his life. Mom's knees buckled underneath her, and me, weak and unsteady, forced to hold her up.

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

When the ambulance came, Mom sat in the front seat hyperventilating into a brown paper bag. Aunt Haley was holding my younger brothers and had corralled the other children into one spot. I watched as they brought Grandpa out of the house in a stretcher, an oxygen mask over his frail, pale face. Adrian was holding me, and I was shaking so bad it's a miracle I didn't fall onto my knees.

Uncle Julian put out his hands. "He's gonna be fine, guys. OK?"

Aunt Lisa held the phone to her ear. "Derek," she said, expertly calm. "Larry had a seizure. They're taking him to the hospital. Please meet us there, OK? Peyton's a complete wreck."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Lucas and Derek had gone to the beach early to snag a spot. The car ride there was pleasant, the two talking about the center of their lives: their children.

"I can't believe you and my sister have three kids together, man," Derek said, eyes on the road. "It's crazy how time just flies."

"I know, tell me about it," Lucas said. Lucas heard a vibrating sound coming from the middle compartment between him and Derek. "I think your phone's ringing."

They had arrived at the beach and Derek pulled into a spot in time to answer the call. "Hey hon, what's up?" Lucas watched Derek's facial expression shift to a more solemn one, and he sat up straighter. "OK. OK text me the address and we'll meet you there. Bye." Derek stuck the car key back into the ignition. "That was Lisa. We gotta go. Larry had a seizure."

"What!?" Lucas asked, as Derek put the car in reverse, backed out of the parking lot and raced down the road. "How?"

"They're taking him to the hospital now." Derek quickly punched in the address for the hospital into his car's GPS.

"I gotta call Peyton."

"Not a good idea. Lisa told me she's breathing into a paper bag."

"Jesus Christ. Hurry up, then!"

Derek pressed onto the gas pedal and began speeding towards the hospital, which was only 15 minutes away from the beach. When the both of them jogged through the emergency entrance, Lucas found his wife easily.

"Peyton," he called, and she turned to him. Her eyes were lined with tears, puffy and swollen.

"Luke…my dad almost died in my arms!"

"I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. It's going to be OK, alright?" Lucas said, rubbing circles onto her back. "It's going to be OK."

"I had to leave Miles with Brooke. My dad's asking where he is and what happened to him," Peyton said.

"OK," Lucas replied, brushing Peyton's hair from her face.

"I'm just really nervous!" she said, clinging onto Lucas for dear life.

"Shh, sweetheart. It's over, and he's alright. He's alright."

"God, Ella and the boys are probably traumatized."

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x

I sat in the front seat of Uncle Julian's car, with the twins, Natalie and the silence was deafening. "Is everybody holding up OK? I know that was really frightening."

"That was really scary," Jude said. "Aunt Peyton was screaming a lot."

"...Is Larry gonna be OK?" Natalie asked from the backseat. I gazed out of the passenger side window, saying nothing.

"He's going to be fine," Uncle Julian said, and I felt his eyes on me. "How about you, Ella?" he asked, and I heard the tone of his voice change to something like lament. "Are you OK?"

 _I'm fucking scared to death._ "Yeah," I pushed out, the words unrecognizable as they left my lips. "I'm OK."

We got to the beach, meeting up with Uncle Nathan and Aunt Haley as we all couldn't fit in one car. Uncle Julian set up my red beach chair underneath a large umbrella. Adrian came over and set down his beach towel next to my chair. I got up and messily made my way to sit down next to him.

"You sure your tailbone will be OK sitting down on the sand?" He asked me, one hand on my back.

Ever since I fell off the ski lift in Utah, I couldn't put too much pressure on my coccyx for long periods of time. Sitting on the sand gave me zero support for my back and had me putting pressure on my coccyx, but it also meant I could sit next to my boyfriend.

"I'll be fine," I said. "If not I'll just lay on my side." I leaned against Adrian's chest, his skin slick with sun screen. His legs were on either side of my hips, He wore the Ray Bans his mom got him for his 18th birthday, and that along with the stubble on his chin made him look so, so sexy.

"You can lean on me." His chin rested on my shoulder. "Hey," he said, and I was forced to look at him. "You sure you're OK?"

"Scared," I said, my lips starting to tremble. "...I'm relieved you're here."

He kissed me, his lips soft. "Do you want to go in the water with Riley?" he motioned up ahead to my little brother splashing in the sand and just a bit of ocean water, under Aunt Haley's careful and vigilant supervision.

"Just you and me in the water?" Adrian nodded. "I don't think my uncle Nathan would like that," I attempted to joke, but it felt so empty.

"I'm a lifeguard," Adrian said, his tone serious. "And you know I'd never let anything happen to you. Besides, we don't even have to go that deep. You can sit next to Riley."

I thought about it only for a second. I knew Adrian brought along one of his cameras and was itching to use it. "OK. Let's go." Hand in hand, my boyfriend and I went to where the water met the shore, and I plopped next to my little brother on the sand. He began to clap and laugh. "Are you having fun?" I asked him, put my arms out protectively around him. I'd drown before I let anything happen to Riley. He took handfuls of wet sand into his hands and put it to his mouth. "No," I said, Aunt Haley doing the same. "Not in your mouth, baby." I emptied his hands, only for him to grab more. I saw that glint in his eyes: he thought it was a game.

Adrian returned with his camera, being extra careful of the lens in the saltwater air. "Riley, look!" I pointed to my boyfriend. "Smile for the camera!"

I leaned in close, telling Aunt Haley to get in on the other side, and together we smiled on three.

"Daddy?" Riley asked afterwards.

"Daddy's not here, Ri. You'll see him later!" I kissed his forehead. "I promise."

Eventually folks were getting peckish. The adults had prepared for such an event, and we all ate under the large umbrella. I insisted on giving Riley his lunch, watched as he drank his fruit juice box happily. I had a ham and cheese sandwich in front of me, but after what happened with Grandpa Larry, I still hadn't regained my appetite.

Jamie sat next to me and motioned to my lunch. "You gonna eat that?"

I put the untouched sandwich back in the Ziplock bag and tossed it in Jamie's direction. "Here; go nuts."

"You sure?"

"Mhm," I said.

Jamie watched me for a moment. "Ella, your grandpa's gonna be just fine, OK?"

I turned to my cousin. He looked like such a man. "How do you know that?"

Jamie swallowed and he inhaled. "I don't," he admitted. "But I know he's strong-willed."

"It doesn't make any sense, though. He all of a sudden has a seizure? He was doing so well."

"It's probably because of the stroke, Ella," Jamie replied. "You remember what your mom said. The stroke was massive."

Jamie was right. The stroke was massive. According to my parents (who saw the scans), the entire right hemisphere of Grandpa's brain was completely black.

Jamie nudged my foot with his. "But he's a fighter! They said he'd never walk. Look at him. He was practically swimming last night."

I smiled ever so slightly.

"There we go," Jamie said. "A smile. Do you want me to get Adrian so you really cheer up?"

Adrian was tossing around a Frisbee with Andrew, Jude, and Matthew. "He's leaving for Philly soon," I said, without thinking.

"You guys are gonna stay together, right?"

"You think it's crazy, don't you."

"I didn't say that." Jamie looked at me. "Fruitcake. Try and relax and go with the flow. I know that's pretty hard for you to do, but…one day at a time."

I reached over and squeezed Jamie's hand. I laughed a little to myself. "I must look like such a typical broody teenager right now; just staring out at the ocean, thinking about all my problems."

Jamie laughed, and eventually nodded. "...Yeah. Just a little bit."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"I have to check on Miles," Peyton said. "And Riley. And Ella."

"Peyton," Lucas said, putting one hand on each of her shoulders. "Deep breaths. I just got off the phone with Brooke. Miles is asleep and doing just fine. And I just got a picture of the kids from Nathan. They look like they're having fun."

Peyton nodded, and returned to her father's side as soon as he called for her. Lucas followed his wife into the hospital room. They'd been told that Larry would have to stay in overnight for observation.

"Peyton," Larry called again, looked subdued and sleepy.

"I'm here, Dad," Peyton said, rushing to her father's side and taking his hand. "I'm here."

"...What happened to me?"

"You had a seizure, Larry," Lucas said, being sure to keep calm and composed.

A knock on the door caused the couple to turn. A doctor wearing green scrubs underneath his white coat. "Mr. Sawyer," he said, his voice soft. "I'm your doctor. How're you feeling?"

"Not so good," Larry said.

The doctor motioned for Lucas and Peyton to follow him out in the hallway. "I'd like to keep your father overnight for observation and until he stabilizes."

"He keeps asking me the same questions over and over," Peyton said.

"Confusion and memory loss are very common after a seizure," the doctor replied. "It may take hours until Larry feels like his usual self. Mrs. Scott, how long has it been since your father's stroke?"

"A little over two months; why?"

"We believe his stroke may have triggered a seizure disorder."

"Oh, God…so you're saying this is gonna happen again?"

"We should expect this now?" Lucas asked.

"Well, I want to start your father on Keppra, an anticonvulsant medication. You must understand that it's going to take a bit before Larry adjusts to the medication, and unfortunately there's a period of "trial and error," that is, a period of figuring out the exact dosage, in combination with Larry's other medications, that works for him."

"So you're saying that in this trial and error period, he could have another seizure."

"Yes. If that does happen, we'd have to increase the Keppra dose. If the dose is too high, we'd lower it, and so on and so forth. It all depends on how he does."

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

The kids wanted to play a game of LIFE before bed, and so we'd set it up, whereas the adults wanted to play Taboo. Thus the living room was buzzing with activity when my dad walked in. "Hey guys," he said.

"Hi Dad," I said, and he gratefully put his arm around me.

"How's Larry?!" Aunt Haley asked, as she and Uncle Nathan walked over.

Dad relayed everything the doctor had told him.

"….Wow," Haley said.

"They're keeping him overnight. Peyton stayed wth him." Dad leaned against the wall and exhaled a heavy breath. "Did Riley get to sleep OK?"

"He fell right out," Aunt Haley said. "Ella and I read him _The Jungle Book_. I think he was just exhausted from the beach."

Dad nodded. "Thank you, Hales."

"Oh come on, that's what I'm here for. Don't even worry about it."

"You hungry?" Uncle Nathan asked. "I grilled some steaks."

"Don't have much of an appetite." Dad motioned to me. "You ate, right?"

"Mhm," I said. Dad walked across the room to where Aunt Lisa was holding a sleeping Aaron.

"Lisa," he said, his voice low so as not to wake the baby. Aunt Lisa got up and he walked with her towards the stairs. "I can't thank you enough for all you did today, and all that you always do. Peyton and I…we love you!"

Aunt Lisa chuckled. "I love you guys, too. And you really don't have to thank me. We're family! I just happen to be a healthcare professional, that's all."

"Do you think you can teach me?" Dad asked, completely serious. "Since there's a great possibility this will happen again."

"Sure. I can do that." Aunt Lisa shifted so Aaron leaned on her shoulder. "I have to put this one to bed. Get some rest tonight," she said, patting his arm and smiling warmly at him.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

That night, as his boys slept soundly in the room with him, Lucas couldn't help but think that the bed was desolate and cold without Peyton. He reached for his cell phone on that rested on the bedside table, and sent her a message:

 _I love you so much_

Shortly after his phone went off in a reply from his wife.

 _I love you too, Luke. I wish you were here to hold me right now...this is a nightmare._

He typed back:

 _I know it is. Just know I'm thinking of you, and your dad too. He's strong, baby. It's gonna be alright._

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

I lay awake on the sofa bed. My mother's screams flashed through my head. I thought of how soon we all had to leave Tree Hill for my surgery. How soon Adrian would be moving into UPENN, and how everything was gonna change.

Using my phone's flashlight, I climbed off the sofa bed, haphazardly bent down and shook Adrian awake. "Lion..." I whispered. "Lion!"

"Hm?!" His eyes shot open. "Ella? What's up?" I said nothing, just waved him over. Wordlessly he got up and followed me onto the balcony. The breeze was warm and delicious. "You OK?" he asked me, still half asleep. He sat down in the swinging chair and I sat on his lap. He brought his arm around me, kissing my cheek.

"I know it's late. I was just thinking."

"'Bout what?"

"Adrian, you're leaving for UPENN in two weeks. I'm leaving for New York City in 12 days. Which means we have to say goodbye in about ten days, and we haven't talked about any of it!"

"So...you wanna talk now. At 3am."

I nodded with tears in my eyes. "Babe. We can't just part ways without talking about what we're gonna do. Unless you really don't care."

"Come on. Don't say that. Of course I care."

"So why haven't we discussed what this is gonna look like?"

"Because I've been enjoying every second I have with you," Adrian said, his amber eyes glinting in the moonlight. "Talking about what it's gonna look like when I'm not with you every day is not gonna make me feel good."

"Well, tough, then," I said. "Not all conversations are supposed to make you feel good, but you have them anyway. It's called maturity."

"OK, Ella," Adrian said. "I'm not even gonna respond to that."

I took a deep breath, a tear rolling down my face. "…Do you still want to be with me when you're in college?"

Adrian sat up. "Yes." He wiped my tears away with his finger. "Yes, I do."

"So, how are we gonna make it work?"

"I'm gonna have my car. I'll come visit," Adrian said, like it was the simplest concept in the world. "You can come visit me. We can alternate."

"…Maybe we can make a calendar?"

Adrian smiled at me.

"It's not funny," I pouted.

"I wasn't laughing," he insisted, kissing my cheek. "You're so cute."

"Well! It's what Lily did for her and Andre. They're still together."

"OK, we'll make a calendar. Of your visits and mine."

"I can try and visit the second weekend of every month, and you could come the last weekend of the month?"

"That sounds good." I leaned against him, and he began to rub my back. "Feel better?"

"Yeah," I said, kissing his temple. "I'm actually gonna make the calendar, you know."

Adrian laughed, "I know you are. You ready to go back to sleep?"

"...Can you sleep next to me?"

"I can do that."

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-x-x-

 _Sunday, August 19th, 2029_

We were leaving for New York City tomorrow. All six of us. We spent pretty much all of Friday and all of Saturday packing. Adrian and I spent the whole weekend together, since this evening was the evening we said goodbye for now. I spent the whole day nauseous, but I was hiding it.

Around 12:30am, Adrian and I were laying in my bed, cuddling and listening to some soft music. Our hands were entwined, and my boyfriend broke the silence. "Babe."

"Yeah?" I said, trying desperately to talk over the huge lump in my throat. _He was gonna say he has to go._

"You look exhausted. I probably should get going."

I took in a breath, and then I took in another one. "I don't want you to," I said, biting my lip to keep from sobbing.

"Ella, nothing's gonna change," Adrian said.

 _"_ _How can you say that?_ Everything's going to change."

"I meant with _you and me._ You're still the girl I fell in love with, and like I said before, I still wanna be with you. I'm still the same guy you fell in love with. Yes, I'll be in Philly, and you'll be here. But we're gonna make it work. That's what we both want, right?"

I nodded. "But I'm scared."

"Of what?"

 _Losing you._ My lips trembled, and I began to sob. "You were...the first person..."

"Aw…. baby. I know. I know." He pulled me to him and I wrapped my arms around him tight. "I love you. I love you so fucking much. I'm not gonna just throw that away. I'm not."

"I love you, too."

He pulled away to kiss my nose. "We're gonna be alright. I know we will be. We'll talk every day."

Words momentarily froze in my throat. "Do you promise?"

"Yes. I promise," Adrian said. "Don't be afraid." I took his hand, and together we left the sanctuary of my room and walked to my front door. I opened the front door and he turned to me, the wind making his hair flutter. "I'll text you when I get home."

"OK," I said, our hands still entwined. I looked at him with my teary eyes, and he looked back, the moment bigger than both of us. I reached to hug him, let him hold me tight. I vowed to memorize how it felt to have his body pressed up against me, his scent, the way his arms wrapped around my waist when we embraced so I wouldn't lose my balance. I kissed the side of his neck and whispered, my words strained, "...Bye, Lion."

"Bye, Gummy," he said back, and I could hear the tears in his voice. "….I love ya."

"I love you too. Go be great!"

Adrian gave my hand one last squeeze, sent me a little wave, and turned to walk to his car. I immediately shut the door so as to avoid watching him walk away from me and covered my eyes with my hand, before going upstairs as fast as I could.

"…Mom?!" I said in a half whisper, wary that my brothers and grandfather were sleeping. Thankfully the door to the master bedroom opened, and Mom walked into the hallway. I didn't say anything, but I practically ran into her arms.

"Baby girl," Mom said, as I began to cry. "Shh…"

"Can I...can I stay with you?" I asked, my words broken up by my sobs.

"Come with me," Mom said, and I took her hand. She led me into her bedroom, holding her finger to lips so as not to wake Miles. Dad was already asleep, but stirred when he heard us walk in. He saw what state I was in and said nothing. Rather, he moved aside on the bed so I would have room to lay beside Mom. I crawled under the covers and huddled close to my mother, and cried silently with my cheek resting on her bosom. That was how the night continued on.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-


	4. Stand By You

**Big chapter ahead. Been having pretty bad writer's block lately, so any kind of feedback would really help me-especially if you want to see frequent updates for this story. xo  
**

 _Chapter Three_

Stand By You

 _Monday, August 20_ _th_ _, 2029_

This trip to New York City wasn't as awe-filled as it was in previous years. My stomach was tied up in knots; my fingers could not sit still. I kept fidgeting on the plane; my parents were nervous for two reasons named Grandpa Larry Seizing and Miles. Mom was making sure Miles was drinking plenty of liquids, and I was given the job of making sure Riley was occupied for the flight. He was a little fussy in the beginning, but slept the rest of the way. Thankfully, the flight to JFK airport was only an hour and 45 minutes long.

We arrived to Aunt Brooke's Central Park West apartment around 11am, and settled in and unpacked. Dad went and grabbed food for us around the corner, and we ate together. I watched as Grandpa Larry gobbled down his food. "Grandpa, eat slower, you'll choke." Grandpa grunted in disapproval in my direction, and kept on eating. "Or just ignore me," I said, rolling my eyes. "Can I be excused?"

"We're going to go grocery shopping, and we're gonna take the boys with us. Think you can stay here with Grandpa?"

"Sure. Will you both be long?"

"It'll probably be at least an hour and a half."

"Got it."

Mom turned to Grandpa. "You're staying with Ella, Dad. We're going to the supermarket. We'll be back soon."

"I'm not staying alone here," Grandpa said.

"You won't be alone, Larry," Dad said. "You're gonna be with Ella."

"With her?" Grandpa asked, pointing to me. "She'll ignore me."

"No, I won't," I said, my words hard and pointed.

"Dad, stop," Mom said, watching from the corner of her eye as I got up from my seat to carefully brought my plate to the sink. "Are you finished eating? Or would you like some more?"

"I'm finished. I'm going to go watch TV." Grandpa got up, after which Mom told him to leave his plate at the table. He then walked with his cane towards the living room to turn on the television. I got up, kissed Riley and Miles on the crown of their heads, and headed to what was now my room. Aunt Brooke's apartment had three bedrooms: one for me, one for Grandpa Larry, and one for my parents and the boys.

I shut the door and lay on my bed for at least 15 minutes, and that's when I saw a text from Adrian:

 _Did your flight land OK? Miss you so much, baby._

Right as I was in the middle of texting him back, there was a knock on my door. "Come in."

Grandpa opened the door, and poked his head in. "Just checking in on you. Your parents left."

"Grandpa, it's only been 15 minutes."

"Well, this isn't our house or our hometown. I get nervous."

"There's nothing to be nervous about. Go on and watch TV. I'll be here."

"Bye. Happy New Year." Grandpa closed the door, and right then I FaceTimed my boyfriend.

 _"_ _Hi baby!"_ he said. _"I got worried when you didn't text me that your flight landed."_

"I'm sorry, we were just all famished when we got here, so my dad got us lunch. They went to the super market to stock up and took the boys with them. So it's just me and my grandpa."

 _"_ _Nice."_

I saw Adrian was in his room based on the posters I saw of Miles Davis on the wall. "What're you up to?"

 _"_ _Just packing."_

I nodded, moving my phone so he could see my face properly. Adrian was headed to UPENN in four days, and in four days I was having my fourth surgery. "Is Liz going to drop you off at UPENN, too?"

About six months after Jesse and Rebecca's divorce was finalized, Jesse started dating again. He was hesitant about it, but Adrian actually encouraged him. Liz is a singer who performed at Jesse's restaurant one night, and the two adults hit it off, and now they're dating. I've met Liz; she's from London; she's super nice, warm, and friendly–not to mention awfully pretty. I remembered Adrian wasn't really conflicted about whether or not to be nice to Liz. After all, it wasn't Liz's fault that Jesse and Rebecca got divorced. So, Adrian and Liz got along splendidly.

 _"_ _I dunno. My mom is obviously going, and I don't want it to be awkward."_

"Are things still awkward between them?"

 _"_ _I feel like they are. I dunno, maybe I'm looking too much into it. They're all adults."_

"Right. …I miss you," I said.

 _"_ _I miss you, too."_ Adrian blew a kiss toward the screen. I watched as his ears perked at someone calling his name. _"Yeah, Mom?"_ he asked. _"I'm talking to Ella! Are you all ready for your surgery?"_

"To be honest, I haven't really thought much about it. We've had so much going on. I'm sure I'll think about it plenty in the next few days."

 _"Mm…_ _..I'll be right_ _t_ _here, Ma! Jesus._ "

"It's fine if you have to go."

 _"_ _I'll text you, OK?"_

"OK. I love you!"

"I love you too, Gummy." He sent me that cute little wave again and ended the FaceTime call, leaving me with just the silence. I lay back on the pillows and blew out a breath. _Now what?_

My phone went off in a text from Adrian moments later.

 _So good to be able to see your beautiful face. I know it's only been a day, but it feels like forever._

I replied:

 _I know. Wish you were here._

I joined Grandpa in the living room, where I saw he was struggling with the remote. He tossed it casually in my direction. "Put it on Channel 4. I want to watch _Judge Judy._ "

"Grandpa, really?"

"Yes; I love _Judge Judy._ It's funny."

I did as my grandfather asked, and we watched _Judge Judy_ together. I had my knees tucked to my chest, and I could see Grandpa was fighting sleep. Right after one episode, Grandpa went to lay down, and I got the TV to myself, where I watched _Scrubs_ reruns. About another hour later, I heard a knock on the door of the apartment. It was a man who worked for the supermarket, delivering our groceries.

"Thanks," I said, giving the man a tip. Luckily my parents were only a few minutes behind him, and they helped me unload all the food from the carts that the man had to return with him.

"Shopping with them was an experience," Mom said, and after settling in, checking on Grandpa and then feeding both my brothers. "Were you OK here?"

"Everything was fine," I said. "Grandpa and I watched TV, basically."

"OK, good."

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

 _Thursday, August 23rd, 2029, 5:00pm_

It was the evening before my fourth surgery. My parents were preparing dinner, with the occasional helping hand from me: whether it be chopping some vegetables, washing them, or what have you. Tunes were on the stereo, Riley was playing, Grandpa Larry was sitting at the table, Miles was asleep. Things were calm. Then, there was a knock on the door.

"...Who could that be?"

"Go ahead and find out," Dad told me, giving Mom a sideways glance.

With caution, I approached the door to the apartment, looking through the peephole first. "Oh my God," I said, a smile on my face. I wrenched the door open. "Grandma!"

Grandma Karen laughed. She carried her purse and a suitcase. "Hi honey!"

I lunged at her for a hug, and she returned it. "What are you doing here?!"

"I couldn't just sit back while you all were here with so much going on. I decided to come help out."

I ushered Grandma Karen inside, closing and locking the door behind her. I watched as she greeted everyone: a big hug and kiss on the cheek for Grandpa Larry, same for Mom, Dad, Miles, and Riley.

"Are you hungry, Ma? Dinner's almost ready."

"So hungry," Grandma Karen replied, after finding a place to put her suitcase and hanging up her coat. "Smells great in here."

In the moments where dinner was nearly ready, we discussed that Grandma Karen and I would share a room, so Grandma wouldn't be stuck with sleeping on the couch. "Oh goodie, my last meal," I said, clapping my hands together. I wasn't supposed to eat or drink anything (even water) after midnight.

"Ella, come on," Mom said, picking up her eating utensils. "Stop."

"Yeah, honey, you're being a little dramatic," Dad told me, taking a bite of his food.

"...I was also joking," I said. "Jeeze." We began eating, talking about everything and nothing at the same time. Riley would bang his little hands on his tray and make me laugh, though on the inside I was churning. I racked my brain and tried to remember what Dr. Farrell said to me the last time I saw him in his office:

 _Everything's internal._

 _I'll cut in the same scar on your left hip to minimize scarring._

 _Blood loss...minimal.  
_

I continued on with dinner as normal, cleared my plate and sat down to help my parents decide which movie to put on after the boys fell asleep.

"Want to watch a movie with us, Dad?" Mom asked.

"What movie?"

"We're gonna let Ella pick."

"She'll pick a terrible movie," Grandpa said, smirking. I understood quickly that after the stroke Grandpa had a new way with people, especially me. He was terse, hard, stubborn, and difficult. He liked to pick on me an awful lot...now, that's his way, and yes, the stroke changed him. Doesn't mean I have to like it.

"Take it easy, Larry," Grandma Karen said.

"How do you know?"

"Ella, what were you thinking to watch?" Dad asked, patting my leg. He sent me an encouraging glance, as if to say, _ignore him._

"What about _My Big Fat Greek Wedding_? It's light; funny; not too long. It's not depressing, either."

 _"_ Sold," Dad winked at me, and hooked up his laptop to the television.

"I'm not watching that," Grandpa said. We ignored him.

"Wait, before we start this, do both of you want to come with me to put Riley to bed?" Mom asked.

We both agreed without hesitance, and Dad carried Riley into the bedroom, and gently set him down onto his blue travel bed. I watched as Dad read Riley his bedtime story, letting Riley turn the pages and point to all his favorite animals in the colorful book.

"Goodnight son," Dad said, kissing Riley's temple. He was already drifting off to sleep. Dad helped me kneel down to the floor, where I also gave Riley a kiss.

"Goodnight, sweet baby," I said, running my fingers through his hair. Mom gave Riley a kiss as well, and all of us crept out of the room, shutting the door.

We started the movie, Grandpa staying with us for the first half hour, then announcing he was tired. Mom gave him his medicine and then put him to bed. Grandma Karen also went to bed, tired from the trip. So it was just the original three left to finish up the movie. Mom brought out gummy worms for us to snack on, and I held the treat in my hands, zoning out.

"Ella," Mom nudged my ankle with her foot. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing," I said. "These remind me of Adrian."

"...Why?" Mom and Dad made eye contact for a second.

"He calls me Gummy; it's his nickname for me."

"Oh right," Mom said. "...You miss him already?"

"Yep," I answered, as the movie went on. "Don't wanna talk about it."

My parents were quiet. I noticed the silence more than they did, though.

When the movie came to an end, Mom invited me into her room, where she soon lay on the bed under the covers with a book on her lap. I crawled into the bed next to her and lay my head on her bosom, calming to the sound of her beating heart. We lay in silence for a while, each of us thinking of the same thing.

"You're not nervous, are you?" Mom asked, looking at me in the semi-darkness.

"No," I said. "...Maybe a little."

"There's nothing to be nervous about," Dad said, his voice as gentle and calming as I had known it to be. He walked in and sat down on Mom's side of the bed. "You've done this before. You're a pro by now."

"…Yeah," I said. "I guess."

"Everything's going to be OK, baby," Mom said, running her hand up my back. "You want to sleep here with us?"

"Is there enough room?"

"Of course," Dad answered. "There will always be enough room for you."

"Even though I am 17," I joked, crawling under the covers and snuggling against Mom.

My phone started vibrating against my pillow, and I saw Adrian calling. Since my dad was about to shut the light, I couldn't answer, and let the call go to voicemail. As my parents settled in the big bed, I went to my voicemail and let Adrian's voice flow into my ears.

 _Hey baby. I'm not sure if you're asleep yet, but I just wanted to let you know how much I love you. You inspire me every day with how strong and brave you are. I know you're going to do great tomorrow! I'm thinking of you, and I miss you. I wish I could be there. I'll call you tomorrow, OK? Bye._

I listened to the voicemail about three times, a tear falling out of my eye. I wiped my face, determined to keep quiet, though my silent tears still fell.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

 _Friday, August 24th, 2029_

The next morning, I got up, showered with my mom's help, and got dressed in something comfortable: a loose tee shirt with shorts. I had packed a bag for the hospital the night before with my most comfortable and comforting clothes.

"OK, Dad, say goodbye to Ella," Mom said, and I tried not to let her words hit too hard. "We have to go to the hospital."

Grandpa took both my hands, and leaned over to place one kiss on my forehead. In a somewhat rare moment of tenderness since the stroke, he said, "I love you, sweetheart. Bless you."

"Thanks," I said, swallowing the lump in my throat.

Next was Grandma Karen. She sent me a smile, but it was a nervous one. I opened my arms for a hug, to reassure her more than to reassure me.

"I love you, honey!" she said, and she squeezed me extra hard. I inhaled her comforting scent. "I'll see you later." She winked at me. Grandma picked up Riley into her arms and said, "Riley, say 'I love you' to your big sister!"

"Love you," Riley said, his voice small. He smiled at me, and I leaned over and covered his precious face in kisses.

"Love you so much," I said. I knew that if I stayed any longer I'd start to cry, so I said, "I'm ready."

"OK, let's get going downstairs, the car Andy called for us will be here any minute," Dad said, putting an arm around me. He ruffled Riley's hair, kissed his forehead and told him to behave for Grandma.

The car came right on time, and the driver Dev got out and greeted us. We got in the car, a Lexus, and set forth on the 25 minute ride to the hospital. Music was playing on the car's radio, specifically "Love Shack," by the B-52's. Half an hour later, we pulled up to the hospital's main entrance, and I jumped out of the car. "Here we go," Dad said, a hand on my back. I slid my crutches onto my wrists, and followed my parents through the hospital's main entrance. We waited in line, as I hummed along to "Love Shack" to calm my nerves and shaky knees. Once we faced the burly security guard at the front desk, he said:

"Go around the corner to admitting." Then, he sang along to "Love Shack" with me. It was pretty epic.

At admitting I was checked in, my finger prints were scanned, and given a bracelet with my name, sex, and date of birth on it. "Only one parent allowed in," the clerk said, regretfully.

I looked between both my parents, for a moment unable to say anything.

"You go," Dad told Mom. He faced me and sent me an encouraging smile. "Ella, I'll see you when you get out." When he hugged me, he whispered in my ear, "Be brave."

"Bye, Dad." For a moment I felt like I was five years old again.

"You ready?" I could see the tears in Mom's eyes.

I nodded, and waved to my father as I turned the corner and went out of sight. One check-up and lots of waiting later, I was sitting in a hospital gown, doing more waiting to be called into the operating room.

"You're shivering, baby," Mom said, running a hand down my leg. "Are you cold?"

"It's freezing in here," I said, my teeth chattering.

A nurse overheard. "Would you like a blanket? Here," she draped the blanket over me, covering my legs and lap. "We keep the temperature down in here because of the machines."

"Thanks so much," I said.

"You're welcome," the nurse replied, sending me a warm smile before resuming work.

I looked at Mom, taking her hand. "Oh no..."

"What?" Mom asked, alarmed.

"I had orange juice this morning." Mom's face fell, her gaze serious. "...I'm kidding!"

"That's not funny, Ella. Did you drink or eat anything? Because if you did, they won't operate."

"No, I did not eat or drink anything. Promise. I just wanted to try and make you laugh because you look sad."

"I'm not sad," Mom said, interlocking our fingers. "I just love you."

"Love you too, Mama."

"Ella," I turned to see Dr. Farrell, wearing light blue scrubs and carrying a clipboard with papers attached. "How are you doing?"

"Just waiting," I said. "Hey, Dr. Farrell, do you think I could pull off being a patient on _Grey's Anatomy_? It'd be so real and authentic; right?"

Dr. Farrell laughed. I didn't notice then, but he'd marked an X on my left ankle with black Sharpie. "Yes, it would. How're you holding up, Mrs. Scott?"

"Hanging in there," Mom answered. Dr. Farrell said something to make her laugh, and to probably put her at ease, and then he said:

"Sign here." He put the clipboard and papers in front of Mom to sign, and she did. "I'll see you in there, Ella."

"OK," I said, and the churning in my stomach returned.

A Filipino nurse wearing glasses called my full name. "It's time."

I got up from the chair with Mom's help. "You're going in with me, right, Mom?"

"Of course."

The Filipino nurse walked to my other side, holding my arm. Another surgeon introduced himself during that long walk to the operating room, but I honestly didn't pay him much mind.

"I'm Prima," the Filipino nurse said, her pace matching mine.

" _Prima_ means cousin in Spanish."

"I know; I'm everybody's cousin," Prima said. Hand-in-hand with her and Mom, I walked into the operating room, with its bright lights and table right in the middle. The room itself definitely didn't give off the vibe of some dark cave like it did on _Grey's._ "Sit on the table and lie back."

I did exactly as Prima asked, and watched as another nurse untied the gown I was wearing, and draped it over me like a blanket. The operating room was equally as cold as the waiting area, if not more. Soon, I felt Prima and the other nurses literally strapping my legs and hips to the table, my arms laid out at my sides like one who awaits sacrifice.

My heart rate spiked.

"….Mom?!"

"I'm here, baby," Mom said, holding my hand. She was almost unrecognizable, the mask she wore covering half her face. I looked into the lovely green of my mother's eyes, and for a moment I calmed. "You're such a beautiful girl..."

"Mom, really?" I said, to which Mom and the nurses laughed. "...My legs are shaking." Out of the corner of my eye I saw the anesthesiologist, Dr. Burkharde, beginning to prepare the anesthesia.

Prima took my right hand. "We're gonna hold you."

It was like Dr. Farrell appeared out of nowhere, and his domineering voice took over the room. "Ella, nice deep breaths," he said, as Dr. Burkharde placed the mask over my face.

"Are her eyes gonna roll back?" I heard Mom ask, her voice becoming an echo. "…Because I can't watch that."

"They will," Prima said. "In a minute."

I inhaled a breath that was nice and deep. I smelled strawberry, and heard Dr. Farrell say this: "Good job, Ella."

I felt my arm go numb, and then everything went black.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Peyton walked out of the operating room, and yanked off the mask she was forced to wear. She pulled off the blue garb she was also supposed to wear, and threw it in the waste bin. When she left the area and turned the corner, Lucas was waiting for her. He opened his arms, and into them Peyton dissolved. She began to cry, hard.

"Shh...aw, baby..." he said, rubbing her back. "She's gonna be alright."

"I hate this!"

"I know," Lucas replied, cradling her. "I know. Do you want to stay here, or do you want to go for a walk with me?"

"Walk where?"

"Well, we could get some coffees and sit in the park across the street. Or we could get some breakfast. Waiting here will just make you more crazy."

Eventually, Peyton nodded. "And we have to call your mother, anyway." Karen had stayed watching over Larry and the boys back at the apartment.

"Exactly." Lucas held out his hand, warm to the touch, and Peyton took it. Together they left the hospital to go for a little walk, grabbing some coffee and sitting in the little park across the way from the hospital. Lucas had his arm around his wife as they sat on the park bench, rubbing her back in comforting circles the way she liked. "Ella's so strong, Peyt. She's gonna be just fine."

"I just hate leaving her there," Peyton said, wiping at her eyes with her free hand. The sunlight and warm weather did nothing to calm her like it usually would. She edged closer to her husband. "What if–"

"No what if's," Lucas said, firmly. "Let's not play that game. Our baby's with Dr. Farrell; she's in good hands."

Peyton nodded, resting her head on Lucas' shoulder. "…Let's call your mom."

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

When I woke up, I quickly gathered that I was in the recovery room already, thanks to the mess of beeping machines, and the nurse standing over me, staring into my eyes. "You're in the recovery room, sweetie."

I opened my mouth, but it was pasty and dry. I let out an imperceptible sound, between a moan and a whimper. I was so terrified of the pain hitting, but instead it was felt like I was floating.

"...It hurts to move," I let out eventually. Every time I tried to talk, I got God awful muscle spasms shooting down my left hip and tibia. I began looking left and right for my parents, unable to see them.

"But you can still move your lips, right?"

 _She's lucky I didn't punch her._ "...Where's my...mom?"

The nurse looked over her shoulder and I followed her gaze, to see my parents walking toward me.

"Mom..."

Mom grabbed my hand and squeezed it, relief flooding her face. "You did it." She kissed my forehead. "You did it."

"You did so well," Dad said, holding my right hand. "You did so well."

Dr. Farrell appeared, looking saint-like in the bright lights. "Hi baby," he said, his tone softer than usual.

With a scratchy throat and tears in my eyes, I asked, "… _Did it work?_ "

"It worked! Everything rotated nicely."

There it was. _My left leg would be straight forever, no longer crooked._ With that thought in my mind, I lay back to rest on the pillow in complete and utter _relief_.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

When I opened my eyes again, I was in a much quieter room, separated from my roommate (whose name I would never learn), by a curtain. "...Mom…." I called, and it was almost like my words were getting swallowed up by the silence.

"I'm here," Mom said, reaching for my hand. Her outline seemed to appear. "I'm right here."

"It hu..hurts," I said, my throat scratchy and raw. I planted my thumb on the PCA pump, which automatically delivered a dose of morphine into my system. The pump beeped twice, confirming the dose was administered. The floating feeling came again, and it stayed. There was a tube sticking out of my left leg, that I would later learn was called a blood drain. "…I have...to pee."

Mom grabbed the bedpan, put on latex gloves and said, "You'll need to lean on your right side so I can slide the bedpan under you."

"Help," was all I said, and Mom gently edged me to put my weight on my right hip and leg. She slid the bedpan to the right spot.

"OK. Try and go."

I shut my eyes, but nothing came. "Please don't watch me!"

"I'll go behind the curtain," Mom replied, and she did exactly that. Finally I was able to relieve myself, and have Mom get rid of the nasty bedpan. I can't fucking believe I'm about to say that I took going to the bathroom on an actual toilet for granted, but I did.

"My phone's ringing," I managed, but Mom didn't hear me correctly. "My phone," I said again. "Can you answer it, please?"

"Hi Adrian," Mom said as she answered the call. "It's Peyton. Yes, Ella's here and she's doing alright...she's a little out of it...here, I'll put her on. One second." Mom looked at me. "Baby, do you feel like talking to Adrian? He's worried about you." Mom held the phone to my ear so I could rest.

"….Lion..."

 _"_ _Baby," he said, and I heard tears. "...Are you OK?"_

"...Yes," I said, licking my chapped lips. "It...hurts, but I did it," I breathed, suddenly feeling so very tired.

 _"_ _I am so proud of you."_

"Wish..."

 _"What?"_

"…Wish you were here."

 _"_ _Me too._ _I'm all moved into my dorm. I'll send you pictures!"_

 _"_ OK. I love you, Adrian..."

 _"_ _I love you too, Ella. So much! Get some rest,_ _I_ _'ll call you tomorrow."_

"Bye." I hung up the phone, and started crying.

"What's the matter?"

"…I miss him," was all I could get out as such a blubbering, nonsensical mess.

"But you _just_ spoke with him…oh, baby..." Mom said, before leaning down to kiss my temple.

"I wish he could be here," I cried, holding onto my mother for dear life. "…Sorry, I know I'm not making any sense."

"You're making sense to me," Mom said, rubbing my back. "Try and rest. We'll talk about this later."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

I couldn't tell if the following three days in the hospital went by really fast or insanely slowly. I was way too doped up on oxycodone to notice the difference. When one of the physical therapists on the unit tried to get me to sit in a chair instead of laying in bed, I did OK for the first few minutes but then my head just hung there uselessly, eyes shut. That effectively ended the session. In addition to making me drowsy, the oxycodone made me extremely emotional. I burst into tears after waking up from a doze in the room alone.

"You were gone for hours," I had cried to my mother, wiping at my tears upon her return.

"Honey, no I wasn't. I was outside talking to your nurse. I was only gone for ten minutes," Mom rushed to my side, brought me into her arms. "I would never leave you alone here for hours."

"...Why am I so fucking sad?!" I cried, the pain momentarily ignored.

"It's the medication, Ella." Mom said, rubbing my back. "It'll pass."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

In the three days I stayed in the hospital, Mom and Dad alternated spending the night. Thank goodness we had Grandma Karen to help us out. Grandma managed also to bring Grandpa Larry in for a visit once I was feeling up to company that wasn't either Mom or Dad.

I had a regular looking white cast on my left tibia, and after the bandages on my leg was unwrapped and the blood drain removed, my time with both my physical therapists that worked on the unit went as follows: the goal was to have me hopping on one leg (the right leg) using a walker. The first day, one PT had to literally hold my left leg up, as I wasn't supposed to put any weight on it. The very next day, I was hopping easily with the walker from my bed to the bathroom, and the PT, whose name I couldn't remember, said she was "impressed."

I had never been more relieved when they told me I could go home. I just wanted to get the fuck outta there. Dad had arranged for a ride home from the hospital with Dev, who was picking us up shortly. I was still drowsy on the meds, though at least I was dressed comfortably in a shirt and sleep shorts in the August air. As Mom pushed me in my massive wheelchair out of the hospital doors, the breeze that hit was refreshing. I spotted Dad easily, and when he saw me going towards him, he raised his arms in the air in celebration.

"There's my girl," he said, placing a kiss on my forehead. "Dev should be here any second."

By the time Dev pulled up in the Lexus, my head was rolling back, feeling loose as it sat on my neck. Dad brought me into his arms and carefully slid me into the back of the car, Mom already at the other end. She cradled my head on her lap, meanwhile my left leg was throbbing in pain. "Mama..."

"We'll be home soon, baby. If you feel nauseous, let me know, OK?"

I nodded, leaning on her lap and closing my eyes. When the car started moving, inevitably the pain got much worse. I was in and out of it, and I think I heard my dad say, "Hang on, Ella, we're almost there," at some point. As we pulled up in front of the apartment building, both Dad and Dev helped me out of the car. "Almost inside, sweetheart," he said, as my head lulled on his shoulder. Carefully, Dad put me in the wheelchair, thanked Dev and got me inside. I was too drugged up to acknowledge the doorman, and whatever he said went through one ear and out the other.

We got home, my mouth hanging open and my tongue just stuck there uselessly, and I immediately wanted to lie down in bed. My mom pulled back the bed sheets and Dad gently lay me down, my head resting against the soft pillows.

"Baby, are you hungry?" Mom asked me, sitting by my side and brushing the hair away from my forehead. "I can make you some chicken soup."

"...OK," I said. I sat up against the wall. "...Maybe just the broth?"

"Sure."

As soon as Mom returned with the chicken broth, I sat up and allowed her to feed it to me, much like she would my younger brother Riley. Then, with a full belly, I fell asleep only to wake up a little while later, the room pitch black and Mom sleeping next to me. Grandma hadn't heard me whimpering in pain (mostly because I did so into my pillow so as not to wake her). Instead, I sought out my mom.

"Mama," I shook her awake. Eventually she woke, and turned to me.

"What's wrong?"

"I feel the muscles in my leg pulling..." I stayed awake hearing the muscles underneath the cast clicking and snapping as they healed from Dr. Farrell's scalpel. "It hurts…."

"Deep breaths, baby," Mom said, holding my hand and kissing the top of it. "Deep breaths."

Tears pricked my eyes. "I don't..."

"What?"

I thought of all I'd been through in the past couple of days, really my entire childhood, and said this: "I don't know what my life is gonna be like, Mom!"

"Oh honey..." Mom said, reaching to hold me. "Everything is gonna be fine! Everything is going to be just fine."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

I woke up the next morning without getting much sleep to begin with. I had dark circles under my eyes. I had cricks in my neck and back, and my left hip was throbbing. I turned to see that both Mom and Grandma Karen had already woken up, and I was the only one in the bed. "Dad…." I called. "Dad!"

Dad poked his head in, carrying Riley in his arms. "Hey," he said. "You OK?"

"Can you help me?"

Dad set Riley down, ruffling his hair. "Help you with what?"

"I'm putting weight on my left side. I need to move."

"OK." Dad reached down, putting his hand under my left hip. I cringed, anticipating the pain.

"Dad!"

He put his hands up almost in surrender. "Ella, _relax._ I barely touched you. I'm going to move you on three. One, two...three." Dad shifted me to lay on my right side, with a pillow still in between my legs. I bit my lip so hard I thought it might bleed. "Better?"

"I guess."

"Do you want to stay resting, or do you want to have breakfast?"

"What time is it?"

"Almost 10."

"OK."

I pushed up on my elbows and grabbed my father's hands. He then pulled me to sit up, whilst grabbing my walker from where it leaned against the wall. He unfolded and held the walker steady so it wouldn't move from under my weight, and I pushed to stand (being sure to put all my weight on my right leg). I let out a deep breath, and thought to myself:

 _Day One. Or two. Or three or four. I'd already lost count._

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-


	5. Keep Breathing

**Hey everyone! This was a tough one to get out there, so please show some love and leave a comment. It doesn't have to be such an elaborate undertaking, I promise. Enjoy.  
**

 _Chapter Four_

Keep Breathing 

_Tuesday, August 28th, 2029_

Adrian's room at UPENN was exactly what one would expect from an 18 year-old boy's college dorm room. Small, simple, unadorned. Adrian had put up a few posters on the wall, but refused to display any of his own photographs for fear that they would get stolen. He kept his Nikon safely tucked away in a bag in his closet. He arrived after his roommate, and was left with the bed on the left side of the room, by the window.

"That your girl?"

Adrian turned to his roommate, Tyler Witkin. Tyler was tall, a just a bit taller than Adrian, with glasses and black hair that nearly covered his forehead. Tyler was an only child and grew up in Baltimore, Maryland. Adrian gathered on move-in day that Tyler's father was a professor of physics at Johns Hopkins University. So far, Tyler was respectful, occasionally tried to make conversation, and once in while would crack a joke that would have Adrian actually laughing out loud. The two wordlessly tried to stick together during orientation week, though at most times they were pulled in different directions, surrounded by different people.

This was the first time, in the few days both boys had been at UPENN, that Tyler went just a bit past small talk with his roommate.

"Yeah," Adrian said. He picked up the framed photograph of Ella. "That's her."

Tyler sat on his bed and took the photograph carefully in his hand. "She's pretty."

"She is. She's a senior at the high school where we met back in North Carolina." Adrian shoved one hand in his pocket while the other received the framed photograph and returned it to on top of the desk. He teetered on the edge of comfort and a place he kept securely guarded. Whenever he talked about Ella, it was like he opened up a part of himself, because that's how close to his heart she truly was. He just wasn't sure he was ready to get that personal with Tyler. Even though they roomed together, he wanted to keep certain boundaries. His relationship with Ella was theirs and theirs alone.

"Cool. I think I'm going to get something to eat."

Adrian nodded, yet noted that Tyler didn't exactly invite him to join. "Alright. I'll see you later."

"See you."

Tyler left the room and Adrian was finally alone to read in the silence. So far orientation week had been crazy, and he actually welcomed the respite. Until there was a knock on his door. Adrian walked over in his socks and yanked the door open to reveal a girl in just a towel. "Uh…."

"I am so sorry," was what she said, the purple towel securely wrapped around her body, while another one was wrapped around her wet hair. She carried her shower stuff in one hand. "I got locked out of my room! I have no idea where my roommate is. Obviously I don't have my phone….can I borrow yours? I know I'm in a towel. No one comprehends the awkwardness of this moment more than me."

Adrian chuckled just a little bit. "Sure," he reached into the back pocket of his jeans and pulled out his I-Phone. He handed it to the towel mystery girl and watched as she dialed Campus Security. "Hi, I'm locked out of my room….311 in the Hearth building. Thanks." She ended the call and handed Adrian back his phone. "Thanks so much! I'm Margie. Margaret, Margie. Whatever."

"Adrian. It's no problem. Do you want me to wait with you until they get here?"

Margie's mouth gaped open. "Seriously? Oh my gosh, that's so nice. You don't have to."

"I don't mind," Adrian said, and they stood in the hallway, awkwardly in silence at first.

"Are you a freshman too?"

"Yeah, I am."

"Where are you from?"

"I'm originally from San Francisco, but I moved to North Carolina three and a half years ago."

"You're from Cali?! I'm from Santa Ana!"

"Really? That's awesome," Adrian said.

"Why'd you move across the country? If you don't mind me asking."

"North Carolina's where my grandma lived."

Margie nodded. The door to the dorm opened, and a Campus Security officer walked through. "You live in 311?"

Margie raised her hand. "I'm the one who called. I'm locked out."

The officer pulled out the master key and unlocked the room. "There you go."

"Thanks," Margie turned to Adrian and added, "And thank you! I guess I'll see you around?"

"Guess so," Adrian said. He sent a polite smile her way and went back into his own room.

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

I was laying in bed when somebody knocked on my door. The oxycodone was still making me feel extremely emotional, and very apathetic. I didn't feel like doing anything. I brought along a couple books I'd been wanting to read, but couldn't care less. I have my special journal to write in, but I don't have the energy. I also don't usually drool, but this medication has me soaking my pillows with saliva.

Dad appeared in my doorway. "How're you feeling, kiddo? I brought you some water." He walked to the edge of my bed and sat down. I pushed up on my elbows and sat up, Dad putting a supportive hand on my back. I drank the water.

Afterwards, I said, "Dad, do I _have_ to take this medication? It makes me feel like crap."

"If you can go without it, don't take it, Ella. Do you want me to get you some Tylenol?"

I nodded and finished the glass of water. "Can I walk with you to get it?"

"Sure." Dad got up and grabbed my walker, unfolded it and placed it by me. He held it in place while I pushed up and kept weight entirely off my left leg. Together we walked to the kitchen, where Mom and Grandma Karen were cooking, and Grandpa Larry was sitting at the table feeding Riley and making funny faces at Miles.

"Hi baby," Mom said, turning to me.

"Hi."

"Are you hungry?"

I nodded yes, watched as Grandpa Larry pulled out a chair for me to sit. I sat and held out my hand for the extra strength Tylenol, which Dad placed in my palm. I downed the pills with the rest of my water, and sat, content with watching my mom cook a late lunch. We all ate together, and I continued with my daily walk around the apartment: from the kitchen to the front door and back twice. Riley always wanted to walk next to me, eventually breaking into a run, thinking it was a game. If it was a game, I always lost.

A knock on the door resonated through the entire apartment. "Riley, step away from the door," I said, and he did as I asked, waiting behind me. "….Who is it?" I called.

"Who do you think?" came the voice on the other side of the door. I started laughing, and wrenched the door open. Lily stood on the other side, sending me a genuine smile. "How's it going, girlie?!"

"Hey!" I gave Lily a quick hug. "You're not working today?"

Lily had gotten a job at NYU Langone Medical Center as a NICU nurse. Her first day was August 1st, and she had scored a sweet apartment with three other roommates, also nurses. "No, I'm not working today, I'm working tomorrow." Lily bid hello to my parents, then giving a big hug to Grandma Karen, as they hadn't seen each other in over a month, when they helped Lily move in to her apartment. "Riley!" Lily exclaimed, bending on her haunches to catch Riley running towards her. "There's my handsome nephew!" She lifted him up and hugged him tight. "Are you having fun in New York City?"

Riley nodded. "Ya!"

Lily laughed, "Good. Can I have a kiss?"

Riley placed a wet kiss on Lily's left cheek, and then started squirming. He wanted to be let down. Lily obliged, and then Riley went to grab his stuffed elephant, a toy he never went without. He pointed to the elephant to show Lily. "Mine."

"Wow, I see that! You love your stuffie, right?"

Riley nodded, hugging the stuffie to his chest. Lily ruffled his blonde hair, watched as I hopped my way towards her. Lily sat on the couch in the living room, beckoned for me to do the same. Riley followed me, dragging his stuffie on the floor behind him. He held up his arms to get onto the couch.

"C'mere," I said, and lifted him up on three. When Riley was first born, I was actually afraid to hold him, because I literally, seriously thought I was going to drop him. After a couple times of holding him with my either Mom or Dad nearby, I got desensitized, and held him easily now, as long as I was sitting down. "Show me your nose!"

Riley pointed to his nose with his little cute index finger. I was so in love with this boy it wasn't even funny. He smiled and I smiled back. "Ella!" he shouted in glee. My name was easy enough for him to pronounce, since it's pronounced exactly as it looks.

"Yes," I said back, laughing.

He pointed to his stuffed elephant again. "Mine."

"I know! His name is Eddy, right?"

"Ya, Eddy," Riley said. He curled into my side and I put an arm around him.

"So how's it going, girly?"

"Pretty good," I answered, aware that my parents and grandmother were nearby. "Recovery is well….recovery."

Lily nodded, watching me. "How is it being away from Adrian?"

I blew out a breath of air. "I'm trying not to think about it. And of course I think about it constantly."

"I know it's tough. Just take it one day at a time. How often do you guys talk?"

"Usually every day before bed."

Strangely, my stomach started feeling odd while talking about my boyfriend. I thought of him, probably having the time of his life in Philly, and I was literally stuck here with a leg that had been sliced open.

"That's good!"

"Yeah," I said, my worries threatening to spill out of my mouth. "Yeah, it is."

I assumed Riley had gotten bored of sitting, and that was why he'd suddenly needed help off the couch. I let him down gently, and he ran into the kitchen to be with my parents. Lily began rummaging in her purse and pulled out a red Sharpie. "I'm signing," was all she said.

"OK," I laughed. I adjusted, moving to the other end of the couch and leaning against the armrest, my leg now resting on the cushions. Lily took a moment and then signed the cast, and I peered over to read what she had written: _love you tons, Chica! Xo, Lily._ "Thanks," I said.

"No problem. Peyton!" Lily called with a playful air. "Where's my other nephew?"

Mom got up and carried Miles towards us, placing him carefully in Lily's awaiting arms. "Ugh, he's so adorable," she placed several kisses on his cheek and snuggled him, smelt his baby scent. He cooed in response, staring up at her with those big eyes. I reached over and played with Miles' little feet.

Lily stayed most of the day, where we ended up having a Pixar Marathon (Riley was enchanted by the films) until Mom called for him to have his nap. Upon hearing the word nap, he began to get very fussy and started throwing a tantrum, normal for his tender age but still hard to watch. He was crying and writhing on the floor, until Dad swept in and held him.

"OK, Riley," Dad said, trying his very best to soothe him: running a hand up his back, rocking to and fro on his feet. My parents didn't believe in letting children "cry it out," thus when I was younger they _never_ let me cry. "He's tired," he said, to no one in particular. Gradually Riley's cries slowed, morphing into little heartbreaking sobs and sniffles. Dad kissed his son's temple, before leading him to his bed, Mom behind him.

"Riley, baby, wanna put some music on?" I heard her say. I detected the sounds of Raffi's music coming from the bedroom, and I knew soon Riley would be falling asleep to the singer's rendition of "Baby Beluga."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

With both Lily and Karen at the household watching over the boys, Larry, and Ella, Lucas took his wife for a walk in Central Park, and had settled on an isolated park bench overlooking a grassy area. "I'm glad we did this," Peyton said. "It's beautiful here."

Lucas turned to her. "So, I've been thinking."

"'Bout what?"

"Well...to be honest, more doing than thinking. I decided I'm taking a semester off of school."

"Really?" Peyton said, semi-alarmed. "...Are you sure?"

"Absolutely," Lucas said. "There's too much going on right now. What would I do, go to night classes while you're stuck with watching your father, Ella, _and_ the boys? That's ridiculous; no way."

"But what about–"

"I have tuition insurance. Babe, I've thought about this, and this is what I've decided. My PhD can wait."

Peyton brought Lucas' hand, entwined with hers, to her lips for a kiss. "Thank you for thinking of me."

"You know I'm always thinking of you, baby," Lucas said, his voice–light and soft–carried to her ears by the beautiful breeze.

Peyton made an imperceptible sound, leaning into her husband's side. Knowing there was nobody in their vicinity, she led with, "I've been thinking too."

"Yeah?" Lucas shifted to face her on the park bench. "About?"

She whispered in his ear, "You and me. Luke, we haven't had a chance to be together in weeks. I miss you. Can I even say that? Is it selfish of me?"

"No, it's not selfish." Lucas brushed a strand of hair away from his wife's face. "There's only so much we can do sharing the room with Miles and Riley. Trust me when I say I miss you too."

Peyton nodded, and they sat in a pleasant silence for a bit.

"...Which is why I got a room for us," Lucas said. Peyton stared at him, and he couldn't help but laugh.

"Are you serious?"

"Completely. One room for the night at the nearest Marriott. It's there for us if you want."

"But your mom–"

"Already knows," Lucas finished. "I talked it over with her yesterday. Part of the reason she called Lily was so she could have an extra set of hands."

Peyton playfully pushed her husband. "You two are such schemers."

"Is that a yes?" he asked, a question so vulnerable, yet so confident at the same time.

"Baby, you know I would love to. I just feel…."

"Guilty?" Lucas guessed. "Peyton, I love my children to _death._ I _know_ you love them." He took his wife's hand in his. "But we need time, too. I just want to spend a couple hours alone with you."

"So you won't think less of me for wanting time with you and not spending it with everyone else?"

"Aw, of course not. When are you gonna stop being so hard on yourself? You're an amazing mother, not only that but also an amazing daughter. I've seen how much caring for your father takes a toll on you. He's difficult. You deserve some time away, and I'm more than willing to give you that."

Peyton kissed Lucas and breathed out, "OK."

Lucas smiled wide and glanced at the silver watch on his wrist. "We better get back and get ready! I'm taking you out for dinner."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

After dinner, the couple listened to the live band at the bar, and then nearing 1:30am, the two headed to their hotel room. It boasted spectacular city views, which lit up in the night. The legendary skyline was surely unforgettable. "So amazing," Peyton muttered. She felt Lucas' strong arms wrap around her, and he began to lightly kiss the side of her neck.

"You smell so good," he said, his deep voice making her weak in the knees. Peyton had her hands out on the windowsill for leverage, as Lucas began thrusting his hips against her, making her gasp loudly. She turned and kissed his lips, inhaling his cologne and he the residue of her perfume. He slipped his tongue into her mouth hungrily, his nimble fingers already working the zipper on her dress.

They both hadn't been joking when they mentioned that it'd been a while. Larry's stroke, along with trying to care for the boys, left the couple little time for each other. They still cuddled before bed, maybe shared dessert once in a while. Lucas sent her sweet random texts that didn't say much at all, but meant everything. He still kissed her when he got home from work, hugged her, held her.

"God, I love when you hold me like that," she breathed out, shedding off her dress to reveal matching bra and panties underneath.

"Yeah?"

Peyton had backed Lucas into the bed, and he fell atop the crisp bedspread. Peyton's fingers were quickly undoing the buttons of his nice dress shirt. He watched her, already enamored with the way her hair fell off her shoulders. Rest assured, she could have her way with him _any_ day of the week. He pushed up on his elbows to take off his dress shirt and undershirt. His head hung back loosely as his wife kissed down his toned chest. He listened to her giggle as he shifted them so she was on her back, allowing him to take off all her clothes and kiss down her bare body.

Lucas felt her hand clasp around his wrist, leading his fingers in between her legs to press against her heat. He once told her he found it insanely sexy when she did that, and she never forgot it. "Baby..."

"Luke," she said right back, clutching his forearm. She arched her back as Lucas slipped two fingers inside her quite urgently, left a trail of kisses down her chest. She ran her fingers through his soft blonde hair, watched as he edged out of his boxers. "Do you..."

"Don't worry about me," was all he said, giving her his best boyish grin, kissing her lips, soft and tender as they were. "You just relax."

Peyton leaned back against the pillows, her body and mind beginning to unarm as she felt her husband's lips on her, curling and licking and sucking. She said his name three times, every syllable covered in lust and desire. "Oh my God..." she looked down to see his hands resting on her flat stomach, sending a fire through her belly button, making her toes curl.

Lucas inhaled her scent, felt her hand cover his and squeeze it. Her heels were digging into her back, and he fucking lived for stolen moments like these, just him and his love. He'd listen to her moaning, her panting and sensual breathing, and it spurred him on. He could pleasure her like this day in and day out, and never get sick of it, never get bored of it.

When he put on a condom and slipped into her, it was electric, their chemistry undeniable and still burning like the fiercest of flames. "Fuck, you're so warm…."

Peyton held onto whatever she could of him, his waist, his back, his strong arms. Every word that tried to leave her mouth just escaped as a moan instead. Lucas took that to mean she wanted him harder and faster, so he rhythmically pumped in and out of her, his waist only slightly gyrating with the force of his thrusts. "Luke..." she finally moaned, her beautiful eyes staring at him with such intensity he very nearly catapulted over the edge.

Lucas kissed her lips, and whispered in her ear, "Do you know how much I love you?"

"God, don't tell me that," she pleaded, and he laughed a bit. "I love you too...do you know how fucking good you feel right now?"

Peyton didn't really curse when they had sex, but when she did, Lucas treasured it. It meant he was doing exceptionally well at blowing her mind, unraveling what bound her, exposing parts of her only he got to see. In a moment of tenderness, Lucas brushed the hair from her eyes. He watched, unable to look away, as she soon after reached her climax. Her whole body, from her toes to her shoulders, completely relaxed after tensing up tight. He eased out of her, collapsing beside her on the bed. "You've gotta be kidding me," she said, slight laughter slipping past her rosy lips. "We're going again."

Lucas hung his head back, pulling his wife atop him and sweetly covering her with the bed sheet so she wouldn't be cold. "Hell, whatever you want, baby," he said, meaning every word. He watched her edge down his body, thanking God or whomever for the love of this woman.

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x _-_

These next two weeks passed quickly. On September 3rd, the anniversary of Ryan Hayes' death, everyone showed a little extra love my dad's way. He was sad, but nowhere near the emotional abyss he was in three years ago.

Now that the oxycodone was out of my system, I had so much more energy. I was reading a lot, and was generally in a better mood. I always made sure to do my walking. In about a week or so, Dr. Farrell was removing the white cast and putting on a much lighter one, one where I could actually put some weight on it. After that, my parents decided we were to go back to Tree Hill, so I could go back to school. My teachers were emailing me homework assignments and some reading material, and I completed and read as much as I could.

Despite my progress, Grandpa Larry seemed to be quite stagnant in his attitude and personality shift. He was _constantly_ picking on me, insulting me _and_ my mom, calling us lazy pigs or whatever. See, before the stroke my grandfather was impossibly anal, neurotic, and _clean._ He still is all of these things, only the stroke amplified these characteristics and thus made him mostly insufferable. Grandpa is obsessed about, namely, three things: 1) mosquitoes (the itchiness was from his medication, but for some reason my grandfather blames it on biting insects); 2) water in plastic bottles that he always shoved in the freezer (I'm not sure why we haven't just bought him a water bottle yet–it's better for the environment); and again, 3) my father. Whatever came out of my father's mouth was law, even if he was wrong. Which worked out when Dad was on my side or Mom's side when Grandpa was acting like an asshole.

One evening, we were all having dinner. I sat between Riley and Grandma Karen. Grandpa shoved the food down his throat as per usual. I didn't bother telling him to slow down, seeing as he never listens to me.

"Ella, stop watching your grandpa as if he's gonna choke," Mom said, and my eyes met hers.

"He might. Look at him." Grandpa had rice on his chin, and had also developed this really horrid habit of slurping food into his mouth.

"Dad, please don't slurp your food; I hate that."

"Pay attention to what you're doing, and leave me alone," Grandpa barked, food shoved on one side of his mouth.

"Grandpa, don't talk with your mouth full," I said, my voice stern. "Why do you always have to bark at my mom all the time?"

"Oh, like you _don't_ talk back to her?"

"OK; everyone relax, please," Dad said, holding up his hand. "It's really unbecoming to argue at the dinner table. Let's just enjoy each other."

After most of us finished eating, Grandpa stood up.

"Dad, where are you going?"

"I'm gonna wash the dishes," Grandpa replied.

"Just leave it there," Mom said. "Leave it." She shook her head at Dad, Grandma, and me, adding as an aside, "Doesn't let anybody relax."

"I can't see the table messy like this," Grandpa replied. "If you weren't so sloppy, you'd feel the same way."

"Here we go," Mom said, with a flick of her hand. "I'm a slob and everyone's house is nicer than the one I'm in; is that right?"

"Can't we all just be nice to each other?" Grandma asked. "Larry, you told me earlier how lucky you were to have Peyton as your daughter."

Grandpa Larry said nothing.

I almost said, _what a miracle, he said something nice,_ but I held it in.

"Now," Grandma said. "Who wants the coconut cake I made for dessert?"

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

 _Thursday, September 13_ _th_ _, 2029_

Mom and Dad decided to take the boys for a walk around the park, and I agreed to stay with Grandpa Larry until they got back, making them promise they wouldn't be long. Grandma Karen left back to Tree Hill yesterday, being in New York City with us for almost three weeks. So it was just Grandpa and me, Grandpa watching TV in the living room and me, sitting alone in the bedroom. I had to hop with my walker to use the toilet, making my journey slowly, yet efficiently.

"Be careful, Ella," Grandpa said, watching me make my way to the bathroom. I reached the bathroom and pulled on the door handle, only to find it jammed shut.

"Did you lock the door to the bathroom?!"

"No."

"Grandpa!" I wailed, the urge to urinate getting stronger and stronger. "I have to pee!"

Grandpa got up from the couch, but his movements were slow and sloth-like. "I closed the door so the mosquitoes wouldn't get in."

"Oh for Christ's sake, there are no mosquitoes in here! Will you stop with that?" I jiggled the door to the bathroom, to no avail. "What the fuck am I supposed to do now?" I put my weight on the walker, which remained steady. Because of the cast, I couldn't cross my legs, and that made the urge to pee even worse.

"Hey. Watch it." Grandpa's eyes hardened, and his jaw set. "Don't talk to me like that."

"Grandpa, please, I'm going to have an accident!"

"Where's your commode?"

"Hell if I know!"

"Well, why did you wait until the last minute?"

"Is that really important right now?" I yelled back, slamming on the door in desperation.

"Don't do that; you're gonna break the door!"

"Grandpa. I'm going to _piss_ myself."

"Ella, just go. I don't know what to tell you," he said, and the harshness in his voice that was still new to me was enough to bring tears to my eyes. "Just go on yourself. It's not a big deal."

"Yeah, for you!" I bit my lip, and a few tears slipped down my nose. Urine began to trickle down my legs and I couldn't help it anymore, thus wetting myself and my favorite pair of red sweatpants. I covered my eyes in embarrassment, only to hear Grandpa's footsteps as he got closer to me, his cane _clicking_ in the quiet, sad space.

"Why are you crying?" His question was more like a cold demand, void of any empathy or sympathy or whatever you'd call it.

"I just had to piss on myself because I can't walk to the bathroom like everyone else!"

"Oh come on. That's nothing. This is the way your life has always been, and that's it, Ella."

I ignored him, my hands shaking as I reached for my I-Phone and dialed my mother. It rang and rang, and went to voicemail. Same with my father, and that only made me cry harder. I carefully slinked down against the wall, my back sliding against the pretty paint. I bent my knees to my chest.

"Don't sit on the floor."

"Please. Leave. Me. Alone."

Grandpa stared at me, and then simply turned around as if his granddaughter _wasn't_ having a breakdown on the floor of her aunt Brooke's well-kept apartment. Through bleary eyes, I saw him take an apple out of the fridge and begin peeling it with a knife. He cut the apple into slices, put the slices on a plate, and started his slow tread towards me. He held out the plate of apples near me.

It was his way of saying he was sorry.

Though, he had to go one step further. Grandpa held the plate in front of me, about an inch away from my nose, and began taunting me, whimpers leaving his mouth.

I took a deep breath, before slapping the plate _hard_ right out of my grandfather's hand. The apples and the plastic plate flew across the room. Grandpa stumbled back at both the action's ferocity and my outburst. "You spoiled little shit!"

I had to constantly remind myself over and over that the stroke did this to him. The stroke did this to him. I let out a sob, curling even further into myself, when a key turned in the door.

"We're back!" Mom called. She was oblivious, if only for a moment. Then she eyed the apples all over the floor, and me sitting against the wall. She became subdued. "...What's going on…."

"Your daughter doesn't respect anybody!" Grandpa Larry shouted, pointing a finger at me. "She did this."

I didn't even have energy to throw out a similar insult into the air between us. My eyes were pressed so deep against the heel of my palm that I thought they'd leak back into my head. I heard familiar footsteps and inhaled the fading scent of my mother's perfume.

"Baby," Mom tried, her voice soothing and loving as it always had been. I felt her hands feeling the material of my sweatpants. "...Did you wet yourself?"

I nodded, trying to catch my breath. "Yes, because Grandpa locked the bathroom door… we kept telling him not to, that the knob was messed up. He's so fucking obsessed with the 'mosquitoes' that he closed the door!"

"OK, ok," Mom said, smoothing my messy hair away from my damp face. "Baby, it's alright. I'm gonna wash you and then we can give you some clean clothes." Mom turned to Grandpa and said, much like when she used to scold me, "How many times do we have to tell you to leave the _damn_ door alone, Dad?"

I didn't bother focusing on Grandpa's response. Instead, I burrowed closer into Mom's hold. She held me and kissed my temple over and over. "Lucas!"

Dad came through the entrance with the stroller carrying Miles and Riley, and he almost stepped on an apple slice. He let Riley out first to he wouldn't fidget, and then wordlessly scooped me into his arms, and into the bathtub. I leaned onto his strong arms, and he kissed the top of my head.

Mom quickly took his place, shutting the door behind her. She helped me in taking off my sweatpants and underwear, soaked with urine. She covered my left leg and cast with a clear trash bag, closing the top with a large rubber band to waterproof it. I raised my arms over my head and pulled my THHS sweatshirt off, and soon sat there bare and exposed. I quickly wiped my tears away, watched as Mom wet a washcloth with warm water and soap.

"Grandpa told me to wet myself."

Mom said nothing at first. Just kept running the washcloth over my body, probably hoping to ease away all my troubles like she has always tried her hardest to do. "I'm sure he didn't mean it like that. He might have just been trying to tell you that it was _OK_ to go on yourself, because you're with family."

I said nothing, just continued to wipe at my tears as Grandpa's harsh voice rang through my head.

 _Just go on yourself._

"Baby, come on..." Mom tried, gently running the washcloth over my right leg, groin, and stomach. "You look so _sad_..."

"Mom," I said, still more tears brimming my eyes. "I'm _so_ sick of this….I don't want to do this anymore." Then, I asked a question I've never asked. "….Why is this my life?"

-x-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-x-

I was laying in my bed, all squeaky clean, until my mom and dad came in carrying Riley, with a baby monitor clipped to the waist of Mom's jeans. Mom also carried what looked like some markers that she always brought along with her on any trip away from Tree Hill. "We thought we could hangout with you for a bit," Dad said, setting Riley down on the bed. He clambered over to me, and I opened my arms to him.

"What're the markers for?"

"Well, your cast is looking a little bleak," Mom said, setting down the markers on the bed.

I stared down at my cast, viewed the signatures from Mom, Dad, Grandpa, Grandma Karen, and Lily, and agreed. The damn thing needed more color. "OK."

"Riley, wanna draw on Ella's cast?" Mom placed the marker in Riley's little hand. "Here." Riley took the marker and it touched the white surface of the cast. Eventually Riley's signature was really just green scribble.

"I love it," I said. Riley sent me his beautiful smile with those beautiful blue eyes, crawling across the bed to cuddle next to me. I wrapped my arms around his little body in a light squeeze. "My baby."

We heard the slow tread of heavy footsteps, which signaled Grandpa Larry was coming. "Oh no," Mom joked, and I laughed, but my laugh wasn't a wholehearted one. He knocked on the door once before coming in.

"What's going on in here?"

I didn't answer, so Dad did for me. "We're signing Ella's cast, Larry."

"I thought we did that already."

"We're adding a little extra to it," Dad said.

"Let me see," Grandpa said. He peered at the cast. "Oh look, there's my name."

"Yep, that's your name," Dad said. "And my name, Peyton's name, and now Riley's signature."

"What're you gonna add?"

Mom took out the markers and began drawing, the finger flowing between her long, elegant fingers. She totally zoned in on it, entranced and for just a few moments, not focused on anything else. She finished with an open journal, a music note in the bottom righthand corner.

"Thanks, Mom," I said, smiling down at the new and improved cast.

"You have the best cast in town, Ella," Grandpa said. He held out his hand to bump fists with me. I hesitated, but eventually my fist met his in our usual greeting now since the stroke.

"Thanks," I said.

Grandpa leaned over and kissed my forehead, and I guessed that would be the closest thing to an apology I was gonna get out of him.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

That night, everyone was asleep excluding Lucas and Peyton, who listened to the unusually calming sounds of her husband washing up for bed: brushing his teeth, flossing, and mouth wash. He joined her in the bedroom, where he cuddled close to her and let her lean into his side.

"What're you thinking, babe?" he asked. He had to whisper so as not to wake the boys. Peyton merely looked up at him. "I know something's on your mind."

"I just… something Ella said." Peyton brought her arm to rest across Lucas' stomach.

"What'd she say?"

"She looked at me, tears in her eyes...just so incredibly upset, and she asks me why this is her life."

Lucas didn't say anything for a second. "Mhm."

"...Do you remember back in Brooklyn all those years ago? When we talked and decided that this….this was meant to be?"

Lucas remembered his wife's desperation and profound sadness; her ability to accept and confront even the toughest of obstacles, challenges: including Ella's disability. "Of course I do."

"That's what I should have told her...but God, Luke, I just froze up. She looked so heartbroken _."_

"Well...we know that the CP is a challenge she was born to tackle," he said, his eyes a deep blue. "Right?"

"Yeah," Peyton said, and for some reason she wanted to cry.

Lucas sensed it, kissed his wife's temple and squeezed her tight. "Don't be sad," he whispered. "We always said we'd try not to be sad about it."

Peyton shut her eyes and let a tear or two fall. "My daughter's crumbling right in front of me..."

"Oh Peyton, no. She's _so strong._ She's going to get through this, I know she will. We're going to help her. We won't let her fall apart...I promise."

Peyton took a deep breath and let her husband hold her in the way she adored.

"We've gotta do something about how Larry speaks to Ella," Lucas decided, running her hand down his wife's shoulder. "He's way too hard on her; she's gonna get a complex."

"Mhm." Peyton breathed in Lucas' scent for moment or two. "You're right."

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

I was laying in bed, staring at the ceiling covered in darkness, when my phone started ringing. "Hi," I said, so happy to see Adrian's nickname flash across my phone screen. "I thought you forgot."

 _"_ _Aw, no baby of course not. I know we always talk every night before bed. How could I forget that?"_

"Yeah..."

 _"_ _What's the matter? You sound sad."_

I told Adrian all about my day, ending with Grandpa Larry's insults and my incident with him and the bathroom. "He told me...he told me to go ahead and go on myself..."

 _"..._ _Jesus,"_ Adrian said, his voice tilting toward anger, but equally balanced with what sounded like sympathy. _"I can't believe he said that to you."_

"I know. The thing is, I want so badly to be mad at him, but I know it's not really his fault. The stroke exposed parts of him that he cannot control. So in a way it makes me more sad than it does angry."

 _"_ _Mhm."_

 _"_ Anyway. How was your night, anything interesting happen?"

 _"_ _I was out at an event, some lame ice cream social thing."_

"Well it's good that they have you doing stuff; you're not exactly going to meet people in your room. Did you get along well with anyone at the social?"

 _"_ _Actually, some girl who's technically my neighbor k_ _eeps running into me. She's from Santa Ana. We say hi and chat_ _about dumb shallow shit_ _but that's about it...w_ _hy am I so lame?"_

"You're not lame, Lion. What's this girl's name?"

 _"Margie."_

"Is she pretty?"

Adrian laughed his sweet laugh, and he said, _"Don't do this."_

"What?" I couldn't help but laugh, too. Adrian's laugh was infectious.

 _"_ _I'm not noticing any other girl, I'm too busy missing my own."_

"Nice save."

 _"I'm serious..._ _I miss you so much, Ella. Calling you is always the best part of my day."_

"I miss you too, babe. You have no idea."

We continued chatting in this manner until my breathing got deep and it took me longer to reply, and when I did, it was in mostly one-word answers. It meant I was falling asleep and Adrian knew this.

 _"_ _I'll text you tomorrow, OK baby? Sleep well. I love you..."_

"I love you too," I said, swallowing the lump in my throat. When he hung up, the silence was so quiet it was almost too loud, and I was left thinking how I could possibly keep functioning when such a big part of my heart was with someone else–and that someone else was so far away.

 _-_ _x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-_

 **Hit that review button :)**


	6. Cold Water

**Please, let me know what you think of this chapter as a whole. Or discuss any scenes you liked, disliked, loved, didn't care for. The best part is hearing what you think!  
**

 _Chapter Five_

Cold Water

 _Thursday, September 27_ _th_ _, 2029_

Mid-morning, I found myself with Dad in an exam room in Dr. Farrell's office. Today, they were gong to remove my white cast and put on a thinner, lighter one. Dr. Farrell and his nurse, Emilie, were just about to remove the cast, and they had me lie down on the exam table.

"...Is this gonna hurt?" I asked.

"No," Emilie answered. "You got through the surgery; that's the hardest part! This is nothing. It's just going to be very loud in a minute or two."

I nodded, and Dad sent me a reassuring glance from where he sat, nursing a coffee. "Dad..."

"I'm here honey," Dad got up, rested the coffee on the vacant chair next to his own, and grabbed my hand. "It won't hurt."

"OK, are we ready?" Dr. Farrell asked, and he nodded in Emilie's direction. Emilie turned on the saw and a very loud purring noise took over the room. There was a crackling sound as the saw made contact with the plaster cast, and I grit my teeth in anticipation. As air slowly hit my skin, I breathed out in complete relief. My cheeks burned red as I saw the result of not being able to shave my leg for a month. Dad assured me not to worry, but it was still embarrassing as hell. Soon after Emilie ran a cold, wet cloth over my leg to soothe me, and Dr. Farrell and Emilie prepared to put on the next cast.

"This one's lighter, it's gonna be so much better for you," Emilie said. "You're favorite color's red, right?"

I nodded, and hoped to God or whoever that Emilie was right.

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-x-x-

 _Friday, September 28_ _th_ _, 2029_

My parents were insanely relieved to step into our own house, relieved to be back in Tree Hill in general.

"Oh crap," I said.

"What?" Mom asked.

"….How am I gonna get upstairs to my room?" I eyed the stairwell and its mahogany railing in dismay.

"Climb up," Mom answered, patting me on the back. "Don't you remember, you worked on stairs with the physical therapist back in New York. They wouldn't release you from the hospital until you worked on stairs."

"Uh...I guess I'll go up sitting down? I didn't feel comfortable with the way the PT did it, anyway." I leaned on my walker, and decided the stairs had never looked so...immense.

"We could try that. Just give me a second to make sure everything's in the house." Mom went out front to help Dad unload.

"Dad," I said, watched as he set down the suitcases. "I have to climb up."

Dad turned to the stairs and then said to me, "You can do it."

"Any chance you can carry me?"

Dad gave me a look. "Ella," was all he said.

"Kidding...kind of."

"I know you can do it." Dad gestured to the first step. "Prove me right."

"….Now?"

"Well, you want to go up to your room, don't you?" Dad clapped his hands together. "Come on."

I walked instead of hopped to the stairs, putting what I estimated to be 30lbs of weight on my left leg as Emilie instructed me to do. "So just...sit down?"

Dad nodded. "Mhm."

I moved the walker around and carefully sat down on the bottom step.

"Daddy!" Riley ran up to my dad and clung to his legs.

"One second, buddy," Dad said, patting Riley's head. "Peyt!" Realizing that Mom was out front and couldn't hear him, Dad sighed and picked up Riley. "OK: I want you to put your hands behind you and push up to the step above. Nice and slow."

I did as Dad instructed. "Like this?"

"Perfect; you have awesome arm strength. Now, carefully move your left leg up...easy." I eased my left leg up to the next step above, effectively going backwards up the stairs on my rear. "There you go! Try again."

Both Dad and Riley watched me as I eased onto another step, and Riley was so excited from all the commotion that he actually clapped. Dad laughed. "You got it, baby."

"Ok so, this isn't _that_ bad," I admitted, and Dad shook his head at me. Eventually I made my way to the top of the stairs, and Dad brought the walker so I could get up and walk. Actually, I think getting up from sitting was the hardest part, but Dad lent his hand as always.

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

That night, I spent the entire drive over to Adrian's mom's house feeling equally anxious and excited. I tried really hard to play it cool, but somehow my dad noticed anyway.

"You're excited, aren't you?"

"So what if I am?" I stuck my tongue out Dad's way. I watched as we pulled up to Rebecca's house. Her lawn was well kept and so green.

Dad got out of the car and ran to the passenger side to help me get out with my stupid walker. He walked up with me to the front door and even tried to ring the doorbell before I said, "Dad, appreciate your help and everything, but I got it now."

Dad held up his hands, turned to me. "Just...be safe."

"I will." I waved to him and he laughed. "Bye."

"OK, I get the message." Dad leaned in to kiss my forehead. "Leaving now."

I waited until Dad was near his car by the curb before ringing the doorbell. Only a moment passed before Rebecca answered the door. She had cut her hair, and was dressed down in jeans and a tee shirt. I wasn't used to seeing her that way, but I guessed she must've not worked today. "Ella!"

"Hi!" I laughed.

Rebecca opened her arms for a hug, and I did my best to hug her with one arm while the other held on to my walker. "So good to see you. How're you feeling?"

"Pretty good," I said. "One day at a time."

"Well you look great as always. Come on in," she motioned with a wave of her hand. I walked slowly into the house, inhaled the comforting, fading scents of cocoa and cinnamon when we arrived to the kitchen. Rebecca pulled a chair out for me to sit and said, "Sit right here. Do you want another chair to prop up your leg?"

"Oh this is fine," I answered, having zero intentions of staying in the kitchen for too long.

"Let me call Adrian." She walked to the foot of the stairs and called her son's name. "Adrian! Ella's here!"

 _"_ _One second!"_

My stomach started twisting and churning, mixed with lots of happy nerves. I hadn't seen my boyfriend in five weeks, and we were in the same house, in the same state! It was the longest we'd ever been apart from each other since we met almost three years ago.

When he walked into the kitchen, all tall and handsome and…good _, different,_ I didn't even notice his mom leave the room.

"Don't cry!" I could see his smile reach those beautiful eyes. "You don't have to stand..."

"I want to," I said, pushing on my walker to stand. "...Hi."

"Hi baby," he said. When he kissed me, I held on to the fabric of his tee shirt, and he moved his hands to my waist. When we pulled away, wary that his mother was in the next room, he nuzzled his nose with mine. "You OK?"

"I'm overwhelmed," I whispered. "I missed you..."

"I missed you too!" His eyes traveled down my legs and noticed the thin red cast for the first time. "Ella...your leg is straight…." He looked like he was going to cry.

"I know," I squeezed his hand tight. "Crazy, right?"

"Totally crazy." He motioned for me to follow him, watched how I walked carefully and gently. "Can you do stairs?"

"Oof. I can do them, but I have to sit down."

"That's OK."

Rebecca reemerged with a purse slung over her shoulder. "OK guys, I'm going to go get Nicky."

Adrian stared at her for a second. "...You're coming back?"

"...Yes, we're coming back. We live here."

"One second, Gummy," he said to me, before bringing his mom into the other room so I wouldn't hear.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"I thought you and Nicky were going out to dinner?"

"I changed my mind." Rebecca watched her son with a careful eye. "…Is this you just trying to get me out of the house so you can..."

"Mom, come on." He paused, "…Yes."

"Adrian," Rebecca groaned, hung her head back.

Adrian started laughing. "What?"

"Your brother is dying to see you. Remember how much he cried when we dropped you off?"

Adrian exhaled, shaking his head. "Just had to play the Nicky card, didn't you?"

"Best card I got," Rebecca stuck her tongue out at him, then watched as their mirth faded away.

"…I've really missed her, Ma."

Rebecca grabbed her son's hand. "I know." She heaved a sigh and added, "...I'll drive the long way when going to pick Nicky up. For God's sake, be safe. I bought you that box of condoms for a reason."

"Oh my God, Ma, I got it," Adrian chuckled again. "See you later."

-x-x-x— **EGS** -x-x-x-

Being back in Adrian's room was comforting. I had my left leg propped up on pillows, leaning against more pillows at the head of the bed.

"First thing I wanna do is sign your cast!" he said, grabbing a dark blue Sharpie from his desk. He climbed back on the bed and leaned over my leg after finding an empty spot. He thought for a moment, tapping the edge of the Sharpie on his mouth. Then, I watched as he made long, graceful strokes with the Sharpie, to write:

 _love you more than you'll ever know. -Lion_

"I love you too." I patted the space next to me, and Adrian climbed onto the bed, put his arm around me, looked at me. "...What?"

"It's just so good to see you," he replied, leaned in to kiss me.

I rested my hand on his chest, right over his heart. "I don't think..."

"What?"

"I don't think I can..." I motioned to my leg. "Cast and everything."

"What, sex?" he whispered. "I was wondering about that. But if your leg hurts, or the idea makes you uncomfortable, then we won't do anything."

"It does still kinda hurt," I said, my voice young and child like.

He chuckled, moving hair from my eyes. "Does it hurt if I just kiss you?"

I shook my head, and we kissed for several minutes, felt how our embrace got more urgent, more feverish, amorous. I moaned just a bit when his tongue slipped into my mouth, when his hand palmed my left breast through my bra and long sleeve tee. Eventually, I pulled off his tee shirt. "I want to feel your skin," I spoke into his ear, ran my fingers through his thick hair. We kissed again and fell back onto the bed, him hovering over me and breathing deeply as I ran my hands down his back, chest, and stomach. I watched how careful he was not to hit the cast, instead swinging his leg up and over so I had enough space.

"I want to feel your skin, too," was what he breathed against my neck. His fingers pulled at my shirt, until it was over my head and off my body. He kissed the spot where my necklace met my collarbone, as his hands worked the clasp on my bra. We were then skin to skin, like we'd wanted to be since we left each other. "Missed you so much…."

"I missed you…." I said, shutting my eyes at the feel of his hands roaming me, the feel of his weight on me. I felt his mouth on me next, moving his tongue on my left aureola in slow, sensual circles. My legs began to extend as they relaxed, my spasticity easing.

"Fuck, you smell so good," he said, his voice gruff and sexy. "Can I take your sweats off?"

I wore a pair of blue sweatpants to his house because my jeans wouldn't fit over the cast. Not that he cares that I'm in sweats. "Just be careful."

"Of course," he replied, and he pulled my sweats off my hips, and was extra gentle when he pulled them down my cast towards my left ankle. As soon as the sweats were completely off, Adrian ran a hand over the scar on my left hip, with the Steri-Strips that Emilie placed still there. "Does it hurt?"

"Only if I put weight on it. Dr. Farrell said, 'I'm a good healer.'"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. Kind of a weird thing to be proud of, but whatever." I watched as he placed little light kisses along the line of my scar, and I was so happy to just be laying here with him that I couldn't stop smiling. I caught myself in Adrian's mirror that we drew on when we were drunk once–I looked like a goofy idiot. "I'm probably putting way too much stake on it since _he_ said it..."

"You love him, huh?"

"I do," I replied. "...Is that weird?"

"I think it's sweet." After removing his pants, Adrian made his way up towards me, sliding his hand up my thigh. Thank God I thought to wear sexy underwear. He then entwined our hands, our fingers interlocking. He reached to kiss my knuckles. I reached up to pull him over me, and we laughed. We kissed a little more, only paused so he could put the pillow between my legs and I could lay on my right hip. Just the simple act of slipping his tongue against mine had chills running down my neck. "So beautiful," he said, before he ran his thumb over my cheek, our lips meeting once again. Time seemed to slow, allow us precious moments to spend alone together.

Soon I felt him hard against my leg, and I reached down to put just a little pressure there, and he breathed a desperate breath. He wrapped his hand around my wrist, led my hand under his boxers. He felt warm, pulsing that way in my palm. I began stroking him, pulling down his underwear with my free hand, and he did the same for me. He rubbed his thumb against my clitoris, before inserting two fingers inside me. "Feels good?"

I nodded, trying to pleasure him but finding it so fucking difficult to concentrate with him fingering me.

"You don't have to..."

"I want to, Lion," I said, squeezing his wrist, a signal for him to stop for a second. He did, and waited. "I wanna make _you_ feel good for once."

"What do you mean, 'for once?' You always make me feel great."

"You're just saying that."

"No, I'm not," he said. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing, I just...baby, I love you for always being so selfless, but I want–"

"Ella, I know you love me; I love you too." He grabbed my hand.

"No...you don't understand. It's not just that I love you. It's how _much_ I love you." I felt tears coming to my eyes, held up my hand so he'd let me finish. "Adrian, you mean everything to me. When you're away at school, I miss you so fucking bad it hurts."

He pulled me closer to him. "I know."

"Do you?"

"Ella, I know how important we are to each other." Passion leaked from his lips. "I know you love me," he said again. "You don't need to tell me twice."

"I just…. I get scared, OK?"

"Scared of what?" he pressed, his eyes searching mine.

"Of being without you," I said, my voice breaking.

"Baby," he said, his palm brushing my cheek. "You're not without me."

"But I _could_ be, couldn't I?"

"How?"

"I don't kn...you're just experiencing a whole other world than I am. Are you saying you're in no way enticed by it?"

"What–what are _you_ trying to say, that I like college more than you?" His voice peaked above a whisper now, tinged with slight frustration. "That's insane."

"It's not insane." Staring into each others' eyes, we could see the other thinking deeply. We had broken completely from our quiet, subdued, romantic voices.

"But the two things are incomparable. You're my girlfriend. College is school."

"It's not the school part. It's everything else."

"OK. Like what?"

I sighed heavily, breathed deeply.

"Don't roll your eyes at me," he said.

"I'm not rolling my eyes at you. I'm trying not to burst into tears." Another deep breath. "When I say enticed, I mean drawn towards life...life without me tied to you."

"You're saying it as though my relationship with you is some kind of burden on me, and it's not," he tried. "Gummy, what's going on that's got you so insecure like this?"

"I'm not insecure."

"I think you are, and you don't need to be; I told you that the other day."

"What other day?"

"Over the summer, when we were at the Outer Banks." He sighed, breathing in through his nose, out through his mouth. "What do you want me to say? What do you want me to do so you stop questioning me?"

My lips trembled and a few tears fell. The absence of his comforting voice had me crying harder still. "Please don't make me feel like I have to apologize for being honest and vulnerable with you."

"Ella, I never said you had to apologize to me. Not once did I say that." Adrian pushed up on his elbows so he was sitting up, and I did the same.

"It's not about what you're saying! It's about how you're making me _feel_."

Adrian hung his head back, rolled his shoulders. "I don't–what is this? I don't want to spend my time with you arguing."

I knew I shouldn't have said it as soon as it left my mouth, but it did. "Why, because you just wanted to have sex instead?"

Adrian's eyebrows knitted like they did when he was upset. "No, because I wanted to spend some fucking time with you." Adrian reached up and pulled his boxers over his hips, then shrugged the covers off his body and left the bed.

"Hey," I said, my voice rising to a yell. " _Don't_ talk to me like that. Who do you think I am?"

"My girlfriend," he said, grabbing his tee shirt and throwing it over his head, yanking it down over his chest. "You're my girlfriend, and I _never_ lost sight of that." He raked a hand through his hair. "Have you?"

"...How could you ask me that?"

Adrian shrugged. "It's like you're trying really hard to put something between us that isn't even there! Why are you sabotaging our time together?"

I grabbed my sweatshirt and pulled it over my head. "I'm not trying to–you know what? I think I'm gonna go."

"Go where?"

"Home!" I motioned between us with my hands. "You see this? How far you are from me?" I fished for my cell phone in my purse, ready to dial my dad.

"Don't–please stay so we can talk about this."

"Really, we're talking now? I thought we were arguing." I dialed my father without looking up at Adrian, only doing so when the call was ringing and I had the phone to my ear. "...Hey, Dad, I'm ready for you to come get me. Yep. Bye." I hung up the phone to see my boyfriend shaking his head at me. I said nothing, struggled a bit with putting the rest of my clothes back on.

"Here, I can help you."

"I got it," I snapped at him. Luckily my walker was near the bed, and I pulled it closer to me so I could stand. "Bye."

"Ella," Adrian tried. "Ella, come on!"

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

After I left Adrian's bedroom that night, I realized I still had to get down the stairs. I walk slow, so of course Adrian caught up with me. He insisted on helping me down, even though I had to go down sitting because of the cast. Dad picked me up promptly, and I was quiet in the car, until I arrived home and headed to my room, not wanting to talk to anybody and knowing Mom, Grandpa, Miles and Riley were all asleep. Though, I got my phone and dialed someone I knew would be awake.

 _"_ _Hello?"_

Hearing Jamie's voice gave me comfort. "Hey."

 _"_ _Hey, what's up? It's late...you OK?"_

"I fucked up."

 _"_ _What happened?"_

I explained everything. "Why did I have to open my stupid mouth? Now he thinks I'm so insecure."

 _"..._ _Well, are you?"_

I sighed a heavy sigh, holding the phone to my ear. "I don't know."

 _"_ _Ella. You're either insecure or you'_ _re_ _not_ _."_

"It's not always black and white like that," I said, my voice getting an edge.

 _"You don't have to get defensive."_

"I'm not."

 _"_ _OK. Let's say you are insecure. What_ _would you be_ _insecure about?"_

"He's at college and I'm...here."

 _"_ _So?"_

"What do you mean, 'so?' This is–"

 _"_ _Hold on, hold on. How does Adrian feel about the long distance?"_

"He's convinced and confident that we can make this work. He was so happy to see me, and I screwed it up by arguing with him." I wiped at my eyes with my free hand.

 _"…._ _Is there something else you want to tell me, or even him?"_

"I didn't...I didn't mean to–"

 _"_ _Ella. Just talk to him. He'll understand. He's coming to the party tomorrow, right?"_

Uncle Nathan and Aunt Haley were throwing us a welcome home party after being in New York City for the past month, and to celebrate my recovery–now with a straight left leg. "He's supposed to. I don't know if he wants to now."

 _"_ _If he wants to work it out with you, he'll show up. If not, then fuck him, and you'll just hang out with us."_

"I guess."

 _"_ _Cheer up, kid. I gotta get going, but we'll talk more tomorrow. Can't wait to see you."_

"You too. Bye."

-x-x-x **-** **x-EGS** -x-x-x-x-

 _Saturday, September 29th, 2029 4:00pm_

Uncle Nathan and Aunt Haley's mansion was beautifully done up for the party. Fairy lights were strewn around the massive yard; they both worked on a wonderful spread; a Welcome Home banner hung in the foyer, was actually one of the first things that caught your eye.

They all shouted, "Welcome Home!" as soon as we stepped through the entrance, all smiley and proud-looking. The only ones who couldn't make it were Uncle Mouth and Aunt Millicent, who still lived all the way in Boston. The rest, though–Uncle Julian and Aunt Brooke and their kids, Jamie and Bridget, (who came for the weekend), Uncle Derek and Aunt Lisa with Aaron, Deb and her longtime, now live-in boyfriend Stephen, Grandma Karen and Andy, Dad's RiverCourt buddies, even Uncle Skills and Aunt Lauren–who'd moved back from Los Angeles with their son Jeremy–were here.

"There's _a lot_ of people," I said, not intending for it to be funny but somehow people laughed anyway. I was bombarded with hugs, kisses, fist bumps and high-fives.

"Ella!" Came a familiar voice. I turned to see Dad's loquacious editor, Frank Lombardi, at my side. He gave me a rather enthusiastic smile. I could tell in his eyes that he was a bit drunk already. "You look awesome!"

"Thanks," I laughed, giving him a hug. Miranda was right by his side. The two had started dating about a month and a half after my parents introduced them at their vow renewal reception in Greenville. That was two years ago, and the Frank and Miranda were still going strong. He even moved to Wilmington to be closer to Miranda and worked for the Chicago offices remotely. In other words, shit was getting real.

It took what seemed like forever to greet everyone at the party, but I did it. Of course, I didn't forget my best friend in the whole world, Catherine McMillan, now a senior at the school in Westover. She kissed me on the cheek and said, "Look at you. Wow."

A pair of hands covered my eyes, and I reached up and patted them, only to turn and find out they belonged to my other best friend, Isabel "Isa" Hendrick, whom I met mid-sophomore year at Tree Hill High. Isa was an artist, a singer, a pianist, and an all-around wonderful human being. With long brown hair and deep brown eyes, she described herself as a "Puerto Rican Jew," Puerto Rican on her mom's side, Jewish on her dad's side. Her mother converted to Judaism to "find a path of righteousness," leading to Isa speaking Spanish and a bit of Hebrew. I'll always be deeply appreciative of her friendship, advice, and sense of humor.

"Hey!" I laughed, and she lunged into my arms for a hug.

"I missed you so much! You look incredible. Your leg isn't crooked anymore!"

"...Don't cry," I said, and Catherine laughed. I rubbed her arm. "It's all good."

"I'm crying because I'm happy for you," she said, wiping at her eyes.

"Yeah, idiot," Catherine said, in a way I only took as with endearment. The two of them, who'd met through me, took to each other right away and got along splendidly. When they spotted my mom carrying Miles, Dad carrying Riley, they rushed to give them hugs.

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

"Ella, you hungry? Can I get you something?" Uncle Nathan asked me, putting an arm around my shoulder.

"Sure," I answered.

He motioned with his chin for me to go with him towards where the food was, his arm remaining around my shoulder. "Come on. Let's see you walk!"

"It's not that impressive," I warned him. My cheeks colored from the attention.

"Stop it," he said, smiling at me. "Let's see. Don't worry about anyone else watching."

"OK..." I pushed on the walker, putting up to 30lbs of weight on my leg, or what felt like was 30lbs of weight. My movements were slow and calculated, almost like wading through water.

"Look at you!" he said, rubbing my shoulder. His eyes were focused on my new and improved left leg. "That's amazing!"

"Thanks," I said. "Now I just have to figure out how to walk without this damn thing." I rattled the walker in my hands as we reached the food.

"Just be patient with yourself; it takes time, baby." Uncle Nathan clapped his hands together when we arrived at all the food. "Alright: we've got chips, salsa, guac…some stuff over here..." he laughed at me. "I should know what this all is, I helped make half of it."

"Funny," I said, sticking my tongue out at him. He did the same. "...I guess I'll have some chips."

"...That's it? Don't be shy." He pointed at the guacamole, and I nodded my head. He piled on the food. "Anything else?"

"That's good for now."

"OK, what do you want to drink? Cola?"

"Sure." I watched as Uncle Nathan poured the Cola into a plastic cup filled with ice.

"Where do you want to sit?"

"Over there I guess."

Uncle Nathan chuckled at me, his gorgeous smile radiating through his eyes. "OK. Let's go 'over there.'" He sat me in a chair, said he'd be right back, and returned with his own plate of chips and salsa. He patted my right knee. "So."

"So," I echoed, blushing a bit.

"What's going on with you!" he exclaimed, truly excited. "Tell me everything."

"... _Everything_?"

" _…Most_ things!" We laughed, and then he asked, with honest sincerity, "How have you been feeling?"

"I'm OK. Recovery's been tough. Grandpa Larry and I clash at times, too, but I can handle it. I can't wait to get the cast off."

"I bet. When will that be?"

"End of October sometime."

"Oh OK, that's not too bad, then! What's next after that?" Uncle Nathan dipped a chip into salsa and ate it.

"Dr. Farrell's gonna make me wear a boot. But at least I can take it off at night to sleep and shower and stuff."

"The boot's for another month?"

"Right. So I should be good by Thanksgiving. Still gonna need the walker, I suspect, though."

"That's alright. With some rehab and physical therapy you'll get rid of it in no time." He looked at me, gave me a gentle smile. "Your aunt and I...we are _so_ proud of you; you know that, right?"

"I know." I felt tears coming to my eyes. Whenever my uncle got all sentimental, I wanted to cry.

"So, where's Adrian? Isn't he coming?" Uncle Nathan had taken quite a liking to my boyfriend. I think my uncle really appreciated how well Adrian treated me. Which is why I was hesitant to tell him about our little spat last night.

"He should be, yeah," was all I said. For a second, I was actually uncomfortable, and I think Uncle Nathan could tell (thank God).

"Well, he's probably on his way, then." He sent me a reassuring grin, then he said, "Uh-oh, here comes your entourage."

I turned to see Isa and Catherine walking towards me, plates of food and drinks in their hands. "I have an entourage now?"

"You always did," he insisted. "And I'm your bodyguard, remember?"

"Oh God."

He laughed, got up and kissed my forehead. "Ladies," he said, before resuming his duties as host.

Both my friends sat by me, and we laughed and chatted and caught up for a bit.

"You OK?" Isa asked me.

"I'm fine, why?"

"You look a little…overwhelmed," Isa always chose her words carefully.

"I'm..." I took a breath. "Adrian and I kinda had a fight last night. Now he's not here." I held up my hand before they could say anything. "I'm good. I don't wanna talk about it and ruin this great party."

Before my friends could respond, the doorbell rang. "Maybe that's him," Catherine said, as her and Isa leaned over and watched as somebody got the front door.

"...Is it?" I asked, not wanting to turn around.

"Oh yeah," Isa said, and something inside me lifted a bit, felt relieved. "He's talking to Haley. Now he's coming over here."

"Must you narrate?" Catherine asked, then shushed as he approached. "Hey, Adrian."

"Hey," he returned, shoving his hands in his pockets. He nodded in Isa's direction after she did the same. "Lots of people here, huh?"

"Totally."

"Sorry to interrupt, but Ella, can I talk to you for a second?" he stared right at me, his eyes soft and imploring.

I really had no choice but to say, "OK." I pushed up to stand, walked slowly away from my two friends, who could do nothing but watch. When we were far enough away that my friends couldn't hear, I asked, "Where do you want to go?"

"Backyard?"

"People are out there, though."

"How about my car?"

"OK." Adrian led me there. The music and my family's chatter reduced to an echo, yet reminded us that we weren't alone, no matter how strong the illusion of such a sentiment might be. Both of us climbed into the car, looked at each other. It seemed like ages passed before I spoke. "So, I–"

"I'm just trying to figure out what happened last night," Adrian spoke over me, staring at me hard.

I breathed in a heavy breath. "I didn't mean to–"

"I had an amazing evening planned for us," Adrian continued. "Instead we end up fighting?"

"Can you just stop? I'm trying to explain it to you." I breathed deeply again. "Sometimes...sometimes I feel like it's not enough."

"What's not enough?"

"Everything."

"Ella, that's _so_ vague…" he sighed, shaking his head.

"I told you last night! I'm afraid of being without you!"

"You're _not_ ," he pressed. "I'm right here! What are you so worried about?"

"I'm not worried about when you're physically here, I'm worried about when you're _not_. You don't have to be such a jackass."

"I'm not–oh my God–I'm trying to understand." He looked at me, stared at me so intensely that I got nervous. "...Are you afraid I'm gonna cheat?"

The very thought, the mere possibility, of Adrian with another girl made me want to throw up all over the Subaru's leather seats. Though to be honest, it looked like it pained Adrian more to even ask the question. "Don't say that."

"Fuck," Adrian breathed. "You wouldn't be crying if that wasn't what you were afraid of." He ran a hand over his face. "Look at me." I turned to him, almost afraid to do so. He reached and placed his warm hand over my cheek. A gesture so familiar and safe, I cherished it right then. "I would _never_ cheat on you, Ella. I would _not_ do that. I love you too much."

Tears spilled out of my eyes, and I wiped them away. "I love you too, Lion."

He took my hand in his and kissed it. "I really don't want to fight with you."

"I don't want to fight either." I ran my fingers through his hair. I reached to kiss him, pulled him towards me by his shirt, hooked my arm around his waist. I nibbled on his lower lip the way he liked, let his hands graze my waist and slide up my back. I moved to sit on his lap and he held me against him with a firm grip. Our kissing continued, his lips warm and wet. "I'm really happy you're here, baby," I said, nuzzling my nose against his.

"I'm happy I'm here, too," he replied, his hands still running up and down my back. "Though I really wish I could whisk you away right now."

"Then let's go."

"What about the party?"

"Please, there's so many people in there. Nobody will notice I'm even gone." I placed little kisses on his neck, ran my other hand down his chest. Adrian reached up to brush a loose strand of hair behind my ear. He gave me one look, and I knew we weren't going anywhere. I settled against him and relished in the semi quiet the backseat of the Subaru Forrester provided us. I felt his heartbeat against my palm, felt it racing even after almost three years together. "...Maybe you can come over tonight?"

"That I can do," he said, kissing me twice on the mouth. With his hand running up my back again, he asked, "You ready to get back out there?"

"In a sec," I said. I settled against him, resting my head on his shoulder. "...Tell me more about college."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"Dad," Peyton called, after having put Miles down in Haley's master bedroom. As always she carried a baby monitor so she could hear Miles' cries. She had brought Riley to play with his cousin Aaron, and she knew Lucas was keeping a watchful eye on him. She'd found her father sitting in a chair, clutching his cane and having a word or two with Andy. "Hi," Mom said, and Andy and her father looked her way. "Sorry to interrupt. Dad, are you hungry?"

"Maybe a little."

"That means yes. Let me get you something to eat; I'll be right back."

"That's a wonderful daughter you have there, Larry," Andy said, patting Larry's knee with a casual air. He'd heard quite a bit from Karen about how tough Larry was on his daughter since the stroke–even though she was the one who took him in, cared for him on a daily basis. "You should feel very lucky."

"They don't make daughters like her," Larry said, his eyes a deep brown under his favorite red baseball cap. The words slipped from his lips and into the air, fading amidst the space between the two men. Andy had heard it though, and vowed to remember it.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Lucas was sitting on the floor of Nathan and Haley's living room, playing with Riley and his nephew Aaron. The two had blocks in between them, mostly just picking them up and putting them down. Lucas was working to see if all three of them could build a simple little tower. Lucas picked up the red block and put it on top of a yellow one, the block clicking into place. "Riley, here," he said. He held a blue block and pointed to the red block. "Put it here."

Riley looked at his father with those eyes, and put the block on top of the red one. "Good job, buddy! Yay," Lucas said, grinning. "C'mere," he said, opening his arms. Riley got up and ran into them, laughing with glee. "I love you," he said, kissing his temple. "You love me?" Riley nodded his head.

Lucas opened his other arm and motioned for Aaron to climb onto his lap. "I love you too, Aaron!" He watched as his nephew joined the embrace. Lucas and Peyton had been around Aaron long and often enough that he was comfortable around them, even though he was normally very shy.

"That's so cute," Miranda said, Frank by her side. "Wait! Stay like that. I'm taking a picture. No complaining." Miranda got out her phone and snapped a few photographs of the two cousins and Lucas, watched as Frank got down beside his dear friend.

"I wanna play!" he said, and Lucas chuckled a bit. Frank was just a big kid sometimes. Once Miranda went to the other room, Frank turned to Lucas and asked, "Can we talk for a sec?"

"Sure," Lucas replied, hugging his son close to him. "About what?"

"It's not about the writing. I'll save that for Monday," he said.

Lucas' short story inspired by Ryan Hayes had been published under Frank's careful eye. It'd done very well for itself, actually.

"What's it about? Everything good?"

Frank took a deep breath in, out. "...I'm gonna ask Miranda to move in with me."

Lucas' eyebrows shot up. "...Wow. That's great!"

Frank laughed. "What was that 'wow' about?"

"Because it's a big deal," Lucas replied, patting Frank on the back.

"I thought you were gonna say you're surprised because it's me."

Lucas paused, "Well, yeah. That too." He laughed at the look Frank gave him. "You were such a bachelor when I met you."

"I was," Frank agreed. "That was years ago, though. I'm so done with that...I want something more. I think moving in with her is the right move...right?"

"Frank. Did you seriously just ask me that?"

He looked over his shoulder to make sure Miranda wasn't in earshot. She wasn't. "Well it's like, I could ask her to move in with me, which would be just... _freaking_ fantastic, or I could ask her to marry me."

Lucas was momentarily stunned.

"Yes. That would be equally as fantastic if not more. It's been two years, man."

"What's your gut telling you to do?"

"I feel like if we move in, we can adjust to being a live-in couple. Get all the kinks out. But...if I ask her to marry me, we can just jump in and go for it. Life is too...freaking short."

"Well." Lucas rested his chin on Riley's head, who was entirely oblivious to the conversation. He lowered his voice to a whisper. "Were you going to ask her to marry you anyway?"

"You mean eventually?"

"Eventually, yes."

Frank took not a second to think about it. "Yes, yes I was. I am. I guess it's just a question of when."

"A question of when."

Frank nodded, breathing out. "…I'm gonna do it."

Lucas laughed, clapped his editor on the back. "Congratulations."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Haley approached Peyton, who was making a plate of food for Larry, and was almost done. "How's everything, pretty one?"

"Everything is good." Over Haley's shoulder she saw Miranda and Brooke join them. "This is just for my dad."

"How's he holding up?" Brooke asked. "He looks great."

"Thank God," Peyton said. "He's doing OK I guess–has gotten very argumentative with all of us. Insults me left and right."

"I'm glad you brought that up, actually." Haley motioned for Peyton to follow her into the quieter kitchen space. Brooke and Miranda followed. "Do you remember Roslyn?"

"...Didn't she used to babysit Olivia?"

"Right, and then she went back to school for more certifications. Now she's an aide for the elderly. I know Larry doesn't exactly qualify as 'elderly' but...if you want, maybe I can give you her contact information and you can call her. She's wonderful, trustworthy, has lots of energy. She might be available to help out with your dad."

"Gosh, Hales...that would be amazing," Peyton said.

"That's a great idea," Brooke chimed in. "You could use more rest. There's no reason you should be so overwhelmed."

"Agreed," Miranda said, having observed Peyton plenty at work. She often described her boss as "bulletproof," but still noticed when things got through her shield.

"I'll talk to Luke about it," Peyton said. "Thanks so much, though."

"Of course, anytime!"

"I've gotta bring this to my dad before the claws come out. It's only a matter of time," Peyton joked.

When Peyton returned to her father with the food, sure enough he made some snarky remark and added, "Finally! What took you so long?"

Peyton ignored him. "What do you want to drink?"

"Water." Without a "please" as usual.

"Here, I'll get you the water." Peyton handed him the plate of food, nearly jumped when someone put their hands on her back.

"Sorry!" Lucas said. "Didn't mean to scare you."

"Where's–"

"Derek's watching him and Aaron together. Can I talk to you?"

Peyton nodded, took her husband's hand and let him lead her to an empty guest bedroom. He shut the door and invited her to sit next to him on the bed. "What's up?" she asked him. "You're making me nervous."

"No, babe, it's happy news. Frank's gonna ask Miranda to marry him."

Peyton gasped loudly, clapped her hands. "Are you serious! He told you that?"

"He did."

Peyton pointed between them and said, "This is because of us."

Lucas hung his head back and laughed. "We just introduced them. They did all the work."

"This is so exciting! When did he tell you?"

"20 minutes ago."

"And the first thing you did was tell me?"

The tip of Lucas' ears turned a little pink. "Well, yeah. I tell you everything."

Peyton ran a hand down his cheek, leaned in to kiss him. "Damn right you do."

Lucas winked at her, and that alone had her heart racing. He took her hand and they both stood up to leave the room.

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

An hour or two after Adrian and I rejoined the affair, I approached my mom, who had Miles in her arms. "Hey," I said, making a funny face in my younger brother's direction.

"There you are," Mom said, rubbing Miles' back. "Where have you been?"

"Nowhere," I said. I sent her a cheeky smile.

Mom sent me a look. "Mhm." I motioned for her to come closer to me so no one would hear, and she did. "What?"

"I'm exhausted...can Adrian drive me home?"

"Honey," Mom said. "Your aunt and uncle threw this party for you."

"I know, I know, but...my leg really hurts; I'm not kidding." I looked at her. "And I know it's almost 8 o'clock, which is Miles and Riley's bedtime. Please?"

Mom watched me. "You _do_ look tired. And their bedtime _is_ 8pm...so we were going to leave soon anyway, plus your grandfather's driving me crazy about wanting to leave. Fine, you can get a head start."

" _Thank you_ ," I told her, unable to hide my relief.

"Be sure to thank, hug, and kiss your friends and Aunt Haley and Uncle Nathan before you go," she pointed at me. "You have keys?"

"I will," I jiggled my house keys in her direction. I bid goodbye to my friends as well as my aunt and uncle, along with Aunt Brooke and Uncle Julian, before climbing into Adrian's car and heading home.

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

I was so exhausted that Adrian had to carry me up the stairs to my room. He settled me on my bed and even helped me change into my pajamas. "Careful," I said, as he was taking off my shorts.

"Arms up." I held my arms over my head, and he pulled off my blouse carefully, folding it and setting it aside. When he took my bra off, I began to shiver. "Cold?"

"Can you grab my sweatshirt?"

Adrian headed into my closet and grabbed my blue and white THHS sweatshirt. He headed towards me and slipped the sweatshirt over my head, and I put my arms through the sleeves. "Here," he said, grabbing two pillows from the many that were on my bed, and putting it under the cast to elevate my leg. I watched as he took off his shirt and jeans, leaving him in just his boxer briefs. We climbed under my fuzzy red blanket and cuddled for a while. My stereo was playing some good old Etta James, and I decided that listening to Adrian hum along to "Cry Me a River," with his arms wrapped around me, was indeed my happy place.

When he kissed me, my heart began to pound, his warm hand resting on my belly. I ran my hands over every part of him, pressing suggestively over his crotch, and he moaned into our kiss. I couldn't help myself, I was just so fucking attracted to him. From the way he was holding me, kissing me, his warm hands going up my bare back, it looked like he was attracted to me, too.

"Baby..." he breathed, lifting up my sweatshirt. Clearly, both of us didn't care that I literally just put it on. He removed it, throwing it behind me. "I'll keep you warm," he said.

Fuck.

He gently edged me so I was laying down, pulling me so my hips touched his. We kept kissing, unable to stop, take a breath. His hands worked on their own, kneading the soft flesh of my breasts, always gentle.

Sam Cooke came on, with "Try a Little Tenderness," and we both smiled.

"You are gorgeous," he said, and he knew those words with that stare were enough to make me wet with arousal and desire, want and need and everything in between. My breath hitched as his hand moved from my chest to the line of my panties, pressing against my center, my heat. As he reached in with two fingers and felt my soft, tender flesh, he groaned. I swear to God if I didn't have the stupid cast on, I would've had sex with him right then. "I want you so fucking bad," he said, his lips clinging to my ear. He adjusted so he was leaning over me.

"Careful," I said again, unable to help myself. "I want you too, Lion, but I'm afraid."

"Aw, Gummy, you know I'd be gentle."

"I honestly don't know how it would work."

"Easy. We do it how we always do it," he whispered to me.

"I don't know," I said, biting my lip.

"That's OK," he said, sending me an earnest smile. "We could watch a movie."

"Or," I said, and then I whispered in his ear. I giggled when he blushed.

Still, Adrian adjusted so I could pull off his boxer briefs. I had told him last night I wanted to make him feel good, and I meant it. When my lips met the tip of him and soon wrapped around him, he leaned his head back, breathing out sensually. He reached down and held my hair back, a gesture I always found kinda sweet. I used my hand to pay attention to the rest of him, being extra gentle but assertive at the same time. "Fuck..." he said, the word leaving his lips in a breathy whisper. He couldn't help but buck his hips upward a bit, and my fingers dug into his thighs. For now it was just us, so he didn't have to worry about being too loud. "Babe..." He shut his eyes, leaned his head back.

I pulled away only to look at him, kiss down the length of him, and resume, resume until he let go down my throat. "Was that OK?" he asked, when he could form words again.

"I didn't mind it." He reached down and helped me so I was sitting up once more. "Was it OK for you?"

Adrian looked at me and laughed. "Are you kidding? That felt so fucking good."

My cheeks filled in color. I leaned on his shoulder. "Good."

After a moment of comfortable silence, Adrian moved so he was on his knees. "I want you to relax now."

"What?" I squealed as Adrian pulled me to lay down completely, always doing everything with a gentle hand.

"I want to make you come," he breathed out, and I nearly did right then, just because of his sultry voice.

"Oh my God..." My cheeks were burning. I watched as he pulled my panties down my leg, kissed the skin underneath my belly button, then let his tongue hit my most sensitive flesh. His tongue had a way of twisting that drove me insane. "Fuck," I breathed out, rarely one to curse out loud in these situations but it just felt so good already. He said nothing, kept going until I was quivering. Every once in a while I'd hear him groan or moan or something, and it just turned me on even more. "Baby..." I reached down and ran my hands through his hair as that was the only part I could reach. His grip on me tightened, and he did _not_ stop until he fulfilled his promise, me trembling and climaxing for him.

When he finally crawled over me again, he had a goofy smile on his face. "Do you know how amazing it is to watch you orgasm?"

"Stop," I said, though I was smirking at him.

"I'm serious. I think it's the sexiest thing I've ever seen in my entire fucking life."

I chuckled, "Really?"

"God yes. I know I say this all the time, but you are _so_ sexy, baby." I looked into his eyes and saw the tender way in which he looked at me–enough to make my heart melt in my chest. "...What?"

"Nothing," I said. I reached up to kiss him, latching my hands around his neck. "...I just love you," I breathed out.

"I love you too." He traced the outline of my ear with his finger. "I promise."

We lay chest to chest for a while, and then I said to him, "Wanna have a sleep over?"

He chuckled. "I would love that. I'd have to leave really early, though."

"I don't care," I said, snuggling closer to him. "I don't care."

"You know the next time I come over, what date that's gonna be, right?"

I thought in my head for a second or two. "Our anniversary!"

Adrian laughed, "Yep!" He kissed my forehead, inhaled my scent, his warm hands resting on my belly. "Three amazing years with you, Gummy."

"I know," I said. I ran my palm over his stubble. "I got pretty lucky, mister."

He laughed again, kissing me. "Oh, you have no clue how lucky I feel right now." He started tickling me, and my contagious laughter pierced the light air surrounding us.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

 **Hit that Review Button!**


	7. Here Comes The Sun

**Was going to add more to this chapter, but I felt it would be too long. Comment away, please!**

 _Chapter Six_

Here Comes The Sun

 _Monday, October 1_ _st_ _, 2029_

Monday. The start of the week. A day I usually hated. This particular Monday was no different, really, except that it was my first day back at school–with a walker and cast on my left tibia. To say I'm anxious would be an understatement.

"Here we go," Dad said, as he pulled into the staff parking lot at the high school. "Feeling good?"

"Yeah...what if I get really tired without a wheelchair? Maybe we should've brought the one we have put away."

"Well, let's see how today goes, and if it's really tough on you, we'll bring your chair tomorrow. Deal?"

I nodded, watched as my dad got out of the car, came around to the passenger side with my walker, opened the door for me and watched me stand. I eyed the arduous journey beginning at my dad's car and ending at the school entrance.

Dad came up beside me and put a hand on my shoulder. "We'll go slow." I dreaded the moment where I reached the door to Dad's office, because that was where we said goodbye for now. "If you need anything, I'll be here." He winked at me, urged me to go ahead.

I sighed, and went along on my way.

Even taking off my freaking backpack was a struggle. I managed to hold onto my open locker door, whilst shrugging off my bag and _not_ losing my balance (but that took several tries).

"Ella!"

I turned to see a familiar face: my friend, Sheffield "Sheff" Morgan. He'd had a major growth spurt or two since when we met in the sixth grade at Tree Hill Middle School, and had gotten _really_ good at basketball. Not much of a surprise to anyone, Sheff made Dad's Varsity team his junior year as shooting guard. He was number 10. I still tutored him in English, helped with papers mostly. I've known him for quite a few years now, and he was still the same old sweet goofball–now he just wears a Ravens Letterman jacket.

Then I saw it: his eyes gazed over my left leg and his face fell in concern. "You're in a cast? What happened?"

"I had surgery," I said, being sure to keep my tone neutral. Weirdly, a part of me was kinda pissed that nobody knew except my close circle of friends. I really shouldn't be upset that nobody knew, though, because I never said anything.

"Oh," he said. "Is everything OK?"

"Everything's fine," I replied. I sent him a smile for good measure. "I promise."

"Well...do you need anything? Can I help somehow? Take your bag?"

I nodded, and Sheff promptly took my bag and slung it over his shoulder with ease. "I have AP English now, with Mr.–"

"Wietz," Sheff finished. He matched my pace as we headed down the hall. "I'll walk you there." I felt his eyes on me and my cheeks colored a bit at the attention. "I have to say your cast is pretty bad ass. I love that it's red!"

I laughed, "Thanks. When we get to Wietz's classroom, I'll let you sign it."

"Sweet." When we rounded the corner, a bunch of rowdy freshman were pushing and shoving each other, making me too anxious to walk by them for fear I'd fall. "Hold up," Sheff said to me. He dropped my bag to the floor and got right in the middle of the ruckus. "YO!" he shouted, and the freshman boys cowered like children, and stopped moving. Sheff pointed to me, and the boys' heads snapped in my direction. "She's trying to get by! Cut it the fuck out!"

As much as I hate to admit this, being a Raven at this school gives you a great amount of clout. Sheff knew it, too. It also didn't help that Sheff was like, 6'2. The boys stared at his Letterman jacket, gulped, and let me pass.

"Thank you for that," I said, patting Sheff on the arm as we resumed our walk.

"Anytime."

"You excited for Midnight Madness coming up?"

"I'm so stoked."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

When Peyton stepped into her house after work, the house smelled faintly of honey. Today was Roslyn's third day working for them. Lucas and Peyton had a good feeling the minute they saw her walking up to the front door from her car. When all three of them started chatting, those positive feelings only grew. As they only faintly remembered, Roslyn was charming, sweet as pie, and put together.

"Hello!" Peyton called through the house. She kicked off her heels and dropped off her purse by the stairs. She ached being away from Riley and Miles for the first time in so long, and truthfully the day was hard. Lucas checked in on her with loving messages and a phone call, and that helped a bit.

"Hello!" Roslyn returned, her call coming from the kitchen. Peyton followed the sound of her voice, until she reached the kitchen. Roslyn stood by the stove, Larry sitting at the kitchen table. Two empty mugs sat on the marble island counter. Roslyn sent her a smile. "Would you like some tea?"

"I would love some," Peyton said. "Thanks."

"Your mother-in-law just left," Roslyn said. "She was with the babies."

"Oh okay, great," Peyton replied. "Hi, Dad." She ran a hand through her father's hair. He pulled away from her touch. "Did you behave for Roslyn today?"

"Oh please," Larry said, shaking his head.

"How would you like your tea, Larry?" Roslyn asked, chuckling to herself. "Milk? Honey?"

"Milk," Larry replied.

"What do you say?" Peyton said, taking a seat at the table.

"Do you always bother people the minute you walk in somewhere?!" Larry barked at her, and Peyton rolled her eyes, ignoring him.

"Did you have a nice day, Dad?"

"It was fine."

"Good."

Roslyn wore her hair up in a ponytail, glasses over her brown eyes. She carried the two mugs of tea to Peyton and Larry, her own already resting on the table.

The three adults drank their tea, Roslyn and Peyton making light conversation and getting to know each other at the same time. When Larry finished his tea and abruptly left the table, only Roslyn and Peyton remained.

"So now that my dad's in his room, you can tell me how he _really_ behaved," Peyton said, and Roslyn laughed, a sweet infectious one.

"He was really fine," Roslyn answered. "A little rough around the edges, I see."

"Completely," Peyton replied. "The stroke changed him."

"Mm," Roslyn said. "Well, just thank God that he's with you now," she said, smiling gently. She didn't' say it, and certainly didn't mean it, in a condescending or preachy way. Rather, it was genuine. One thing that Peyton and Lucas both gathered from Roslyn right away–and not just from the cross around her neck–was that she was profoundly spiritual, wholly in touch with her devout belief in a higher power.

"I know," Peyton said, nodding. "I know. Just hard sometimes."

"I'm sure it's terribly hard," Roslyn said. "Not to worry. He'll be alright."

Peyton nodded, and she wasn't sure if it was the peacefulness of the kitchen, or the sincerity in Roslyn's eyes, or maybe how far her father had come in almost five months, but she believed her.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

 _Friday, October 5_ _th_ _, 2029_

Tonight was Midnight Madness, the pep rally that marked the start of another Ravens' season. The entire school was brimming with anticipation–even the teachers and Principal Curtis were excited.

Each passing day got easier with the cast, as I learned to navigate school with the walker. As soon as I got the cast off and switched to the boot, I was to start physical therapy. Trying not to think about it, I had plenty of material to distract myself with: college applications and senior year schoolwork.

Rather than go all the way home from school only to go back, I decided to stay in school and earn some money with a shift at the Tutor Center. Of course, nobody bothered to schedule appointments on a Friday, let alone Friday Midnight Madness. So there I was, sitting at my usual table in the corner by the big window and water cooler, doing homework when Sheff walked in.

"Only you would Tutor after school on Midnight Madness," Sheff said, smirking at me. "Why don't you go home?"

"I have tons of homework to do, and I can concentrate here. What's it to you?" I stuck my tongue out at him.

Sheff stuck his tongue out, too. "I'd kill to see you take a break once in a while."

I rolled my eyes, shutting my textbook and laptop. "I take breaks."

"Yeah, OK. Ella, you're a machine."

"I am not," I said, my cheeks coloring a bit.

"Did you just blush?" he smiled at me, taking a seat at my table.

"No," I said. I eyed his attire of khaki slacks, a blue dress shirt and blue tie. Dad's rule of his Ravens dressing up on game days was still running strong. "You look nice."

Sheff adjusted his tie. "Well thanks."

I pointed my pencil at him. _"You_ just blushed. Ha."

He chuckled. A beat of silence passed between us. "So, what're you doing for the game?"

"Actually, I'm going with my friend Isabel. What're _you_ doing for the game?"

"Funny. I was wondering if you wanted to maybe grab a bite to eat after?" I looked at him. "You look scared, or something…" Then, he started laughing. "Ella, relax. Everybody knows you're still with Adrian. That wasn't me asking you out."

"Not everybody," I protested, in vain.

"If I'd asked you out, it'd be an offer you couldn't refuse," he said, smirking.

"Quoting movies now?" I teased, obviously ignoring the fact that Sheff may or may not have been flirting with me.

"Best movie ever. So, grabbing a bite to eat, yes? Bring Isabel if you want to, if that'll get you to take it easy."

I hung my head back. "I'm not–you know what, fine. I'll go to eat something with you. As friends. Stop laughing!"

Sheff held up his hands. "You needa chill, girl." He pushed to stand. "I've gotta get going to the gym or Coach'll flip. See you after. Look out for me," he said, sending me a wink.

"Oh shut up," I said, throwing a paper ball in his direction.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

That Friday, Adrian was working in his room, trying to focus on making line edits on his English paper due next week. It was only a five-pager, so doable, but for some reason he was having pretty bad anxiety about it. He had his headphones on, listening to some soothing Jazz, when all of a sudden Tyler threw a plush football across the floorspace and it hit Adrian in the shoulder.

"Dude," Adrian said, giving Tyler a look. Tyler motioned with his chin, and then he finally saw Margie standing there. "Oh, hey."

She laughed, "Damn. I've been standing here for like, an hour." She wore her backpack slung over one shoulder, zipper half open, wearing cozy sweatpants and a sweatshirt. She carried her laptop and a textbook in her arms. "Ready to study for Econ?"

Not long after they met, Adrian and Margie found each other in their Introduction to Macroeconomics class, and coincidentally sat next to each other ever since. They'd gotten to know each other a bit, and supposedly become something like...friends. "Uh...oh, yeah...sure!"

Margie stared at him, her dark hair going past her shoulders. "You forgot."

"I'm sorry," Adrian winced. "I've got this paper."

"When's it due?"

"Next week."

"How long does it have to be?" So began the questions virtually any college student had to ask himself or herself or their-self. _Can I get away with a four-and-a-half pager that's meant to be five pages? Will the professor take points off?_

"...Five pages."

"Dude. Come _on_! You have _plenty_ of time. This exam for Econ is coming up, and let's be honest, we both don't know shit. Except, you know more shit than I do because you're smart as hell!" Margie jocosely tugged on Adrian's arm. "Come on! Grab your stuff."

"OK, if you guys are gonna be this loud, can you take it to the common room?" Tyler asked, an edge to his voice.

"Sorry," Margie said, with an equal edge to her voice. She watched as Adrian gathered his computer, his textbook, his charger, and his backpack. "Don't worry about snacks," she said, when she saw Adrian go into his mini fridge. "I've got it covered."

The two left the room and settled in the common area, which with a stroke of luck was empty. As promised, Margie brought along snacks and water for them both. "Thanks," Adrian said, during a snack break after an hour of straight studying.

"No problem," Margie replied, smiling at him. "So, what's the deal with Tyler?"

"I don't really know," Adrian admitted, chewing on a granola bar. "Keeps to himself."

"Sounds like a jack hole," Margie said, popping trail mix into her mouth. "Like seriously, he kicked you out of your own room. He can't do that."

"I'd rather just keep everything neutral rather than rile it up," Adrian replied. "We _were_ being loud."

"Whatever. He's a little bitch," Margie said, and Adrian began laughing at her. "What?"

"Nothing. That was just funny," he said easily.

Margie looked at Adrian and said, "Wanna get drunk?"

Adrian laughed again. "What? We've only been studying for an hour!"

"Oh come on, Adrian," Margie said, his name flowing past her lips. "It's Friday night!….Have you ever gotten drunk?"

Adrian stared at her. "Really?"

"Well, I don't know!" Margie exclaimed. "You just seem so..."

"So what?" Adrian challenged, leaning forward on the lumpy couch, dropping his pencil.

"Straightedge." Margie stuck her tongue out at him.

Adrian hung his head back. "Definitely not."

"No?" Margie raised her brows. "So what, drinking?"

Adrian nodded his head yes.

"Do you have anything in your room?"

"Some beer, but that's about it."

Margie stood up. "I have vodka." She held out her hand. "Come on."

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

As midnight approached, I found Isabel after some searching, and we managed to snag two spots in the gym, awaited the start of Midnight Madness. "So, Sheff wanted to know if we could grab something to eat after the game."

"Oh yeah?"

"Mhm. You're coming."

"I can't. I promised my mom I'd be back after the game to help her out with something."

"Crap. OK."

"Did you ask because you're worried about hanging out with Sheff alone?"

"Kinda," I cringed. "It's just weird."

"It's only weird if there's something to feel weird about," Isa reasoned. "I mean, do you think he has feelings for you or something?"

"I don't know!" I said, brushing the hair from my eyes. I lowered my voice, suddenly paranoid somebody would hear us in the gym. "There's always been an odd energy between us."

"OK."

"Don't look at me like that," I said, breathing out. "I'm acting nuts, aren't I?"

"I didn't say that. You guys are friends, right?"

"Yeah."

"OK, so, you should _be_ friends. Sheff knows you're with Adrian. Everyone knows that."

"Does everyone really know?"

"This school is smaller than it seems," Isa patted my leg, and soon the gym went dark, signaling the start of Midnight Madness and the basketball season.

Isa and I had a blast, and Dad was totally in his element coaching his team to a win. By the end of the game, I bid goodbye to Isa. _Let me know how it goes,_ was what she said.

"You were awesome, Dad!" I said, reaching to hug him. "Well done."

"Thanks," Dad laughed, patting my shoulder. "You ready to get going?"

"Actually, Sheff invited me out to get something to eat."

"Oh, alright," Dad said, his reply easy and breezy. "He's driving?"

"I assume so."

"Be careful," Dad said, kissing my forehead. "And have fun. I'll see you soon." He waved goodbye just as Sheff walked up to me, all changed into his streets.

"Hey," he said, smiled at me. "You ready?"

"Yeah, I'm ready. Where are we going?"

"I was thinking the diner," Sheff replied, as we began our walk to his used car. "Open all night."

"That sounds good. You were great, by the way."

"Oh thanks," Sheff said, his grin hard to miss. "So you _were_ looking out for me."

I rolled my eyes. "Really?"

He laughed. "Sorry."

At the diner, we got a booth in the corner, and we both ordered chocolate chip pancakes. "It's fate."

"You believe in that stuff?" I asked, taking a sip of my water.

"Well yeah. Don't you?"

"I dunno. For some things I do."

Sheff leaned forward. "Like what things?"

"Like...with my CP. For a long time I questioned why things had to be this way, but now I've realized that it's a challenge I was...I was born to tackle."

He nodded, a sly smirk on his lips. "I like that. I think it's true, too."

"Sorry. I didn't mean for things to get so intense."

"Don't apologize. We've known each other long enough, and small talk is boring as hell anyways."

I laughed. "Agreed."

Sheff and I stayed in the diner for almost two hours, chatting and catching up. "What did it feel like?"

"What?"

Sheff sipped his vanilla milkshake. "Y'know. Surgery."

I thought about it for a second, taking a breath. "Well. Like somebody cut my leg open."

He laughed. "Direct and to the point. I like it."

"It's true."

"Does it hurt, though?"

"Not so much actually. It's manageable with Tylenol, which is nice." A pause ensued, but it wasn't an awkward one. "Thanks a lot for taking me out."

Sheff slurped down the rest of his shake. "It's what friends are for, right?"

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Margie's roommate was out, so her room was empty. She had decorated it nicely, the room homely and cozy with subdued lighting and pictures practically covering an entire wall. "Have a seat."

Rather than sit on her bed, Adrian took a seat in her comfy pink chair. "Your room's nice."

"Took me three days just to finish decorating it." Margie reached into her mini fridge and pulled out a bottle of vodka, and two shot glasses. "I stole the shot glasses from my dad. Doubt he'll even notice." She poured the vodka into the shot glass and handed it to Adrian. "On three. To surviving."

"Cheers," he said, and together they downed the alcohol, Adrian cringing slightly as it slid down his throat. "Here's a question."

"Shoot."

"Why are you sitting here trying to get drunk with me, where there's tons of perfectly good parties you could go to?"

"Maybe I _want_ to get drunk with you," Margie stuck her tongue out at him. "Party or no party, what's the difference?" She poured him another shot, and one for herself. "Unless you want to go to one."

"Might be fun."

"What?"

"You're the one who wanted to study for Econ, and now we're getting drunk in your room, possibly scoping out a party."

Margie chuckled. "Welcome to college." She downed her second shot. "We're pre-gaming. Let's decide if we're going out now, because I have to get ready."

"How long will that take?"

"Why, you going somewhere?" Margie teased. "I dunno, like 45 minutes?" She patted Adrian's leg. "You can work on your paper."

"Alright fine," Adrian conceded. He stood up, grabbed his bag.

"You're gonna change too, right?"

"Well now that you said that," Adrian laughed. "Yeah, I am."

"Good. Get out so I can go shower."

Adrian saluted her, headed back into the common room for another twenty minutes before taking a quick shower and changing.

"You look nice," he said offhandedly, as Margie eventually emerged in a black dress and heels.

"You too!" She stopped another freshman walking the halls. "Can you take a picture of us?"

"Sure," the student replied, taking Margie's phone. Adrian stood beside her.

"You could act like you know me," Margie teased.

"Sorry," Adrian said, before he edged closer to her and putting a shy arm around her waist. On three, they smiled for the picture.

The party was crowded and sweaty, and Margie and Adrian eventually paired up to play beer pong, both of them annihilating the other team. On the way back nearing 1am, Margie insisted the night wasn't over and dragged Adrian to one of the late-night cafe's on campus, where they shared a snack.

"You're _really_ good at beer pong," Margie commented, eating a french fry.

"Thanks," Adrian chuckled. "Not sure it's something I would brag about, but..."

"Oh please. You know you're good. I saw it on your face." Margie sipped her water, and Adrian watched her. She was pretty, for sure. Very attractive, her hair long and shiny, her eyes a deep brown. "What?"

"Nothing," Adrian said.

"I have to ask, because I'm naturally curious...that picture in your room."

"That wasn't a question."

"I wasn't finished. Is that your girlfriend?"

Adrian felt the back of his neck stiffen. "Yeah. That's my girlfriend."

"What's her name?" Adrian hesitated, and Margie went on to add, "It's OK, you don't have to tell me if you're that private about it."

"Her name's Ella."

Margie nodded. "She's back in North Carolina?"

"Mhm."

"And you're here. Jeez, how do you make that work? Seems intense."

"...We have a schedule," he said, suddenly losing his appetite for fried foods.

"How spontaneous."

Adrian chuckled, but it was an uncomfortable sort of sound.

"I'm kidding. Joke."

"It works for us," Adrian said, feeling for his phone. "Wait, what time is it?"

"1:30."

"Shit!" Adrian got up. "I have to go."

"Why?"

"Just something I have to do. Will you be OK getting back to your room?"

"Are you sure you have to go? It's early, dude."

"Yeah. I'll see you later," Adrian said, and then he ran back to his room. He knew Tyler would be asleep, so he settled for the empty common room, and dialed his girlfriend, hoping to God she hadn't fallen asleep yet.

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

 _Saturday, October 6_ _th_ _, 2029_

When I got back from the diner with Sheff, I had a two missed calls from Adrian nearing two in the morning, but the gymnasium was too loud for me to hear the phone going off. I thought I had mentioned to him that it was Midnight Madness, but I guess he forgot. When I was finally settled in my bed, I sent him a text:

 _Just got back from Midnight Madness. Sorry I missed your call–I hope you had a fun night, and I love you so much! xo_

This way he'd have something nice to wake up to.

The next morning, Adrian's voice was the first one I heard. _"Hi baby. I tried calling last night."_

"I was at Midnight–"

" _Yeah, I saw your text. I totally forgot that was last night. Was it fun?"_

We continued talking about our evenings, him casually mentioning going to a party, and I mentioned going to the diner with Sheff. "Remember when we went to the diner after Midnight Madness three years ago?"

 _"Of course. I was so relieved that you said yes..."_ Adrian blew out a breath of air. " _Guess what else is soon gonna be three years ago?"_

"I know," I said, and a smile grew on my face. "I can't believe it."

 _"Can't wait to see you next week, Gummy. I have your gift all ready."_

"I can't wait. Miss you," I said, still half asleep. We kept chatting until my stomach began to gnaw in hunger, my throat dry with thirst. We hung up the phone, and knowing I'd see him in less than a week, my heart didn't ache as much as it has been when I stopped hearing his voice.

I galloped downstairs to the kitchen, where Grandma Karen was already done cooking breakfast. She had slept over to help Mom with the boys and Grandpa while Dad was at the Ravens game.

"Hey sleepy," Grandma called, stood by the stove. Riley was already sitting in his deluxe feeding chair, and began practically squealing in happiness when he saw me. "Did you come down because you smelled the bacon?"

"Maybe," I said, gave her a hug. I swooped in and kissed Riley on the cheek several times. "Where's Mom?"

"Feeding Miles in the bedroom. Should be down in a minute."

A pair of footsteps stole our attention. "Smells amazing in here," Dad said, wearing pajamas still. He went straight for the freshly brewed coffee and poured himself some. "Thanks for everything last night, Ma. We should be making _you_ breakfast."

"Oh stop it," Grandma said, waving off his concern. "You know I'll always do what I can to help out. Eggs over easy, right?"

"Yes please." He took a sip of the coffee and smiled in my direction. "Hi honey. How was your night?"

"We basically just caught up over pancakes. Was nice."

"Who's we?" Mom asked, baby monitor in the pocket of her robe. "You and Isa?"

"No, remember I told you Sheff invited me out?"

"Oh, right. Glad you had fun, baby. Can you do us a favor and wake up your grandfather so he can have his breakfast?"

"Sure." I made my way to Grandpa's room, where the door was partway open. I saw the outline of Grandpa's arm moving up and down in jerky movements, and my stomach dropped. "...Grandpa?" I pushed the door open all the way with the palm of my hand, only to find my grandfather having another seizure on his bed, strangled moans leaving his lips. "MOM! DAD!"

I heard a distant clatter in the kitchen as my parents came running into Grandpa's room, whereas Grandma Karen kept Riley distracted.

"Dad!" Mom shouted, her voice desperate and fearful. "Dad! He's having another seizure!"

"Peyton, don't restrain him," Dad said. "Ella, call 911!"

My phone was in the back pocket of my sweats. I reached for it and dialed emergency, stepping out of the room because Mom's shouting got to be too much.

The mood of the house had flipped, becoming quiet and morose. Only Riley remained oblivious to the plight. He was in Grandma Karen's arms when EMS showed up, being moved discretely to the nursery so he wouldn't have to see Grandpa Larry being carried away in a stretcher.

"I can't believe this is happening again," I overheard Mom tell Dad.

"Peyton, they warned us this might happen. I want you to take a deep breath."

"The boys–"

"Deep breaths. I have them," Grandma Karen said. "I have them. You two just go."

I stayed with Grandma, doing what I could to help out, which mostly meant playing with Riley, reading him his stories. We sat in the rocking chair in the nursery, Riley leaning against my chest, with a book about a farmer and his farm. "Riley, where's the dog?"

Riley pointed to the dog with his little finger. "That's dog."

"That's right!" I kissed him several times on his cheek. "You're so cute!" I said, laughed with him. My phone went off in a call from Adrian. "Hi," I said, one arm draped around Riley's stomach.

 _"Hey, I was in the shower when you called before. Everything okay?"_

 _"_ Riley hold on," I said. Riley wiggled off my lap onto the floor, where he began playing with one of his other toys. "My grandpa had a seizure," I said, paranoid that Riley would overhear and understand me, though I knew that was heavily unlikely.

 _"What..."_

"I know. I found him."

 _"Aw, baby. I'm sorry… are your parents with him?"_

"Mhm. They're probably gonna keep him overnight." I sighed deeply. "This sucks."

 _"I know. That must've been so scary."_

"You would think that after the first time at the Outer Banks, nothing would match it, but my mom was so freaked out."

 _"Well yeah; that's her dad."_

"Yeah. God, I wish you were here right now."

 _"Me too. Less than a week, babe."_

"Yeah..." My ears perked at the sound of my name. "Lion, I have to go; my grandma's calling me. I love you so much."

" _I love you too. Say hello to everyone for me."_

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

Within the next four days, the doctors taking care of Grandpa Larry made adjustments to his Keppra dosage. During his stay, Grandpa was very confused, going so far as calling out for my grandmother Anna, which Mom recounted as "heartbreaking." Roslyn visited Larry in the hospital and even stayed with him so Mom could get some rest, and she made Grandpa some of her famous Haitian soup.

When Grandpa was sent home, he was still slightly confused, but not nearly to the degree that he was before. My parents were sure to keep things calm and mellow for him. Mom said that "in no circumstance was Grandpa to be left alone," even when Grandpa argued that he wanted to stay in his condo.

"Absolutely not," Mom said, over dinner one night. "You just got out of the hospital!"

"I don't want to live here," Grandpa said, chewing his food, bits flying everywhere. "I want to go to my home. I can stay with Roslyn."

"Well not right now you're not. You're staying with me, and that's it."

"Alright everyone, serenity now," Dad said, in his usual calming nature. "Larry, you need to recover."

"I feel fine. Here I'm just in the way."

"You're not in the way, Grandpa," I said. "Just chill."

Grandpa did not chill, and was more argumentative than ever. Insulting us left and right. Only my dad and brothers were spared. Which meant his insults were directed towards Mom and me.

"You're a lazy pig," he told Mom one night.

"Grandpa," I said, staring him down. "What is wrong with you?"

"Look at how she has this kitchen!" Grandpa waved his arm over the messy counter space.

"OK, so she doesn't clean as she goes like you do. So what?"

"Guys," Dad said, and we both quietened. "Larry, Peyton is not lazy, and is not a pig. You don't need to talk about her like that."

"Thank you!" I said, and Mom did nothing but shake her head and chuckle.

"And on that note, I'll see you guys tomorrow!" Roslyn waved goodbye to all of us, her purse slung over one shoulder, patting me on the arm before she left.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

 _Thursday, October 11_ _th_ _, 2029 4:45pm_

"I'm glad you guys are both here," Roslyn said, sitting with Lucas and Peyton at the kitchen table. She had offered to make them both some chai tea and they had accepted. She sat across from them, the couple looking her way. "I wanted to talk to you about Larry."

"OK," Lucas said, grabbing Peyton's hand. She held on tight.

"First of all, I'm having a great time working with him, no matter how difficult he can get. He's a character."

"Yes, he is," Peyton agreed.

"I noticed he acts very...aggressive and intolerant with all of you. It's his way or the highway."

"Yes," Lucas said.

"I want to...suggest," Roslyn said, choosing her words carefully, "That some of Larry's behavior and poor attitude comes from _boredom._ I understand that before the stroke he was extremely active and independent."

"He was."

"His life is completely different now. He no longer lives on his own, has to go where you go. I noticed he tends to take out his frustration the most on you, Peyton," Roslyn continued, her words gentle. "It's probably because you're the only one he has." Roslyn was even more gentle when she noticed the tears in Peyton's eyes. "I know that this is a huge adjustment for all of you, and I'm not trying to introduce a quick fix. What I do want to introduce, though, is an alternative. I've worked with other "senior citizens" who go to senior centers. Not a home, a center. A place where folks like Larry, can go and socialize with other people around his age, play card games, exercise, what have you!"

"… That's a great idea," Lucas said.

"This way Larry can make his own friends, have a social life! A place to call his."

"How many hours a day would it be?" Peyton asked, with intrigue.

"The center I'm most familiar with, here in Tree Hill, activities start as early as 9am, up until 3pm."

"That's perfect," Peyton said.

"I can give you the number to the center, and you can meet with the director and set up a tour," Roslyn said. "Of course, you guys can look into it when you feel Larry is ready, and in better health."

"Thanks so much," Peyton said.

"We'll definitely look into it," Lucas added. "What a great suggestion."

Roslyn laughed. "Been doing this for a bit." She stood up from the table, and the couple stood up as well. "I'd better get going home. See you tomorrow."

"Drive safe," Lucas said, and he and Peyton watched as Roslyn left the house. "A senior center. I think Larry would love it, babe."

"Just as long as we steer clear of the word, 'senior,'" Peyton joked, leaning into Lucas' arm. "When he's more stable, I'll call them."

"Sounds good," Lucas kissed the top of her head. "I can start dinner."

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

 _Friday, October 12_ _th_ _, 2029_

Adrian was taking a plane from Philly into Wilmington this visit, as it was cheaper to fly the one and a half hours rather than drive the seven plus hours to Tree Hill. Jesse and Liz were picking him up at the airport before heading to the restaurant, as Rebecca had to work. I would've gone to pick him up too, but I had school. I sat in math class or English, counting down the hours until I got to see him. My stomach kept flipping, a mixture of anxiousness and excitement. Isa was going to give me a ride back home after school, rather than have me wait for my dad to bring me home, he had to stay late for a staff meeting. Mom was swamped at work. Roslyn was home with Grandpa Larry and Grandma Karen had the boys again.

"You look excited," Isa said, in the driver's seat of her beloved car. "You ready?"

"Yes," I answered, and Isa laughed. "Thanks so much for giving me a lift, girl."

"No problem. You know the deal: you get the stereo."

"Fine with me," I said, connecting her stereo to my Spotify playlists.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"Thanks for giving me a lift, Liz," Adrian said, swinging his backpack over his shoulder as he prepared to leave his dad's apartment for Ella's house.

"Oh you're welcome," Liz said, grabbing her car keys. "I'm happy to do it." Liz turned to him once they were in the car and on the road. "You look excited," she said, smiling. "It's quite endearing."

"I am."

"What's the backpack for?"

"I have midterms coming up next week," he explained. "Need to study hard."

"That's what I like to hear. Bummer, but nonetheless." They laughed. "You seem to be really liking UPENN."

"I love it; the people, the classes, the social life. Everything's great."

"So happy for you." Liz fiddled with her radio until it reached the jazz station. "Did you hear, your father got Bill Charlap to play at the restaurant."

" _What?!"_ Adrian exclaimed. "That's insane! When, tomorrow night?"

"Mhm. Jesse's insisting that I sing along with him."

"You should! That would be incredible! Tell me you're doing it," Adrian's eyes lit up whenever he talked about jazz artists, or jazz in general.

Liz laughed. "Well of course I'm doing it. I'd be crazy not to."

"Way to go," Adrian chuckled. "I've gotta take Ella to this; she'll love it."

"Agreed." Liz pulled into the driveway of Ella's house. She patted Adrian's shoulder and added, "This is your station, kid."

"Thanks so much, Liz," Adrian said again, giving her a smile, waving and getting out of the car.

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

I saw Liz's car pull up to my house from my bedroom window. I double checked myself in the mirror, dabbing just a bit more of Adrian's favorite strawberry lip gloss on my lips. I used my walker to get to the stairway, where I then called out for help.

"Hey, Roslyn?"

"Yeah?" Roslyn appeared at the foot of the stairs just moments later. "Need a hand?"

"Unfortunately," I answered, watched as Roslyn climbed up the stairs and took my walker down first. Then, she came back up and helped me down, watched as I went down on my rear slowly.

"You're a pro at this now," she commended, when the doorbell rang. Roslyn's eyebrows raised, and she smirked at me. "I wonder who that could be." We reached the foot of the stairs, and Roslyn stuck out her arm, I grabbed onto it. "You look very pretty," she commented, twirling one of my wavy strands of hair around her finger in an affectionate gesture.

"Thanks."

"I'll get the door. You wait in the living room," Roslyn said, shuffling me to the side.

I laughed. "It's like a movie."

I stood by the couch, my stomach flipping over and over again. Not only was I seeing my boyfriend, it was also our three year anniversary. _Three years!_ I heard Adrian's voice get louder as he walked into the house, introducing himself to Roslyn. His footsteps grew closer as she directed him to where I was. When I turned, he was standing there, wearing jeans that fit him perfectly and Clark shoes, with a plain long sleeve tee shirt. He never really liked clothes that sported big logos or annoying phrases on them. "...Hi," I said smiling. I barely noticed that Roslyn left the room.

"Hey," he said, dropping his bag to the floor. He closed the distance between us, hugged me tight and ran his hand up my back. The gesture was simple, but it was among those that I had missed the most. "You look so nice."

"Thanks," I said, smiled. I clung to his tee shirt tightly, half because I was afraid I would fall, and also because I wanted to. "Are you hungry, thirsty?"

I think he could tell that I preferred to just kiss him senseless, but couldn't do that until were completely in private. So, he said, "I can grab a glass of water. Are you hungry?"

"Not right now."

Adrian nodded, motioned for me to come along. He picked up his backpack off the floor, slung it over one shoulder. We made it to the foot of the stairs and I went up on my rear again, not caring that I just went down moments ago. The more I dealt with the stairs, the easier they got. When we got to my room, I tried to control myself and headed to the bed.

"Here, let me help," he set his tall glass of water on the coaster resting on my night table, before bending down to help me with my one sneaker on my right foot. He gently swung my legs onto the bed, after propping pillows there. "This OK?"

I patted the bed space next to mine. He chuckled, took off his Clarks, and crawled onto the bed next to me. "You smell really good," I said.

"You too. Is that the perfume your aunt Brooke got you?"

"Mhm," I admitted, resting my hand on his chest. When he finally leaned in to kiss me, his touch was tender, unreserved, loving. He adjusted so he was leaning over me so that I didn't have twist so much, and his tongue slipped into my mouth, warm and wet.

"You're wearing that lip gloss," he chuckled, before I pulled him back towards me. Goosebumps rose on my neck when his hands reached up my blouse, up my back and down again. "Happy Anniversary, baby!"

"Happy three years of loving," I said, and we laughed. "I missed you so much!"

"I missed you too." I pulled at his tee shirt and off it went, so I could feel his skin. He did the same, and soon we lay shirtless, and me shirtless and braless. His hands began to work me, and soon we were laying down on the bed, no longer sitting up.

"Careful."

"I got you," he said, allowing plenty of space for my cast. "Is your leg still spasming?"

"Not as much as in the beginning. God, that hurt like hell."

"Mm," he said, a sympathetic sound. I ran my hand through his thick hair and he shut his eyes.

"Your hair's getting long, Lion."

"I should cut it, shouldn't I?"

I nodded. "But don't let me sway you if you really don't want to."

"No, I've been thinking I should do it. Really." He returned to kissing me, our embrace lazy and gentle. He placed kisses along my neck, bare shoulder–sweet ones. He traced, _I love you_ , on the skin of my flat belly with his forefinger.

"I love you too," I said, gave him a gentle smile. I watched as he pulled off my sweat pants with extra care, tossing them behind him. "Sweats are the only thing I can wear with the stupid cast."

"I think you look cute." He stared at me, sent me a lopsided smirk. Everything in that glance was enough to make me fall in love with him all over again. This time, it was me leaning up to kiss him, and we were both hit with a burst of adrenaline and arousal, tugging at each other with tenderness. My fingernails scraped his shoulder blades and he groaned. "Do that again." I pressed into his skin and he breathed out, pressing his lips against mine as though it were the last thing he'd ever do. His fingers traced a line down from my belly button to the hem of my panties, reaching underneath the fabric to press against my center. He moaned again at the feel of me, soft and warm. I was so aroused that I pushed my underwear down my legs only so he could have more room. "You're wet," was what he said, his voice sultry and sexy. As always, his touch was kind as he pushed my legs apart, rubbing his forefinger against my clitoris in delicious and almost effortless patterns.

"That's probably because it's been so fucking long. Two weeks feels like forever, baby."

"I know," he said back, between long kisses. "I know." He leaned down to put his mouth on my right breast, and I moaned into the thick air surrounding us, blanketing us. His two fingers began to move, picking up and slowing down in speed and tempo, in a way complimenting the movements of his lips. After three years together, he knew to give me time to rest my spastic muscles, which only intensified when I was turned on. As he let me rest, his fingers slowed, only picked back up when I pulled him toward me and kissed him hard. My other hand reached down to press against his boxers, to feel him hard against my palm. He shifted so I could reach into his boxer shorts and begin to stroke him, this time slowly.

"i don't know if I could do a good job with the way I'm laying down," I told him, blushed a bit.

"No, you're doing fine," he assured me, kissed my cheek. "I just don't wanna make a mess on your bed."

I blushed profusely. "Sorry, sorry," I said, and stopped. As soon as I stopped, he continued, alternated between rubbing against my clitoris and slowly easing two fingers inside of me. My moans and whimpers only turned him on even more, spurred him to keep loving on me.

Eventually, I my legs were exhausted, and instead we talked and talked, just held each other. "What's the backpack for?" I asked, ran my hand up and down his bare chest.

"It's mostly got my homework in it. Camera, laptop. And I brought movies and candy for later after our dinner."

"There's a dinner?"

"You didn't think I was gonna let our _three year_ anniversary pass by and not take you out on a fancy date, did you?"

"Baby… you don't have to."

"Yes I do," he insisted. "Yes I do. Only thing is, I don't have my car… so we'd need to get a ride," the tip of his ears pinked up like they did when he was embarrassed.

"That's OK; I can ask my dad."

Dad agreed to drive us to the restaurant, probably only because he had time to rest in between getting home from THHS and having to bring us there. Adrian brought a change of clothes, which he asked if he could iron before wearing. I did some homework while he did that, occasionally looking up to stare at him shirtless in just his boxers. After a bit, I used my walker to walk over to my closet and pick out a cute skirt and nice blouse to wear.

"Look at you," he said, smiled. He wore a nice white dress shirt with khaki slacks, his camera bag slung over one shoulder.

"You sure I don't look ridiculous with this cast?"

"Stop," he said, held out his hand.

Together we went down the stairs, where we heard the echoes of my parents in conversation. They were in the foyer, probably waiting for us to come down. Mom held Riley in one arm, whereas Dad held onto Miles. At almost five months, Miles could hold his head up unsupported. He had figured out how to roll from his tummy onto his back, which my parents got on video. I saw his beautiful green eyes staring at me, where he then simultaneously erupted into a smile, and he began to babble.

Adrian and I started laughing. "Tell me about it," I said, as though Miles and I were engaged in sophisticated conversation.

"You guys look so great!" Mom gushed. "Stay right there." She brought her own camera to take a shot of us on the stairs, Adrian with his arm around me.

"How pretty," Grandpa Larry added, as he stood beside my parents.

"Um, my leg hurts here," I said, half-joking.

"Want me to carry you down?" Adrian asked. "I can do it."

"...Kind of," I admitted, and Adrian swooped me into his arms, carried me down the rest of the way.

"Don't get home too late," Mom warned. "Midnight curfew. How are you going to get back?"

"I thought we could just take an Uber," Adrian said.

"OK...be careful," Mom said, as Dad grabbed his car keys from the hooks on the wall by the door, and we headed out to the restaurant, where Dad dropped us off.

Adrian picked out a new beautiful restaurant by the water, and we had a lovely meal whilst talking about everything and anything we could think of. Afterwards, he took me for a short walk along the nearby boardwalk, and we sat by the fountain. "Little rest," he said. "Your leg doing OK?"

"Mhm," I answered.

Seeing as Adrian picked out a not so crowded spot to sit down, I watched as he reached into the pocket of his sports coat. "I got you something."

"You brought your gift with you? I left mine at the house–"

"It's OK," he assured me. "I couldn't wait any longer to see your face." He placed the small velvet black box into my palm. "Open it."

I opened the box to reveal a gorgeous diamond bypass ring in sterling silver. "Oh my God," I said, my mouth gaped open. "It's beautiful. Adrian, this is too much–"

"No it's not." He ran his hand up my arm. "Try it on."

I slipped the ring onto my right hand, and it fit snugly onto my ring finger. "I can't believe–"

"Perfect," he said, his smile and gentle and shy. "Do you like it?"

I kissed him, hooking my arm around his neck. "Do I–I _love_ it…baby, thank you _so_ much."

"It's a promise ring." His voice was soft enough so only I could hear it. "I know it's three years in the game, but..."

"Stop," I said, ran a hand down his neck. "I absolutely love it. This was so thoughtful."

He grinned, pleased with himself. "Well, we still have lots of time. How's about we get some ice cream? Extra hot fudge?"

"You know me so well."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

A peacefulness took over the Scott household nearing 8:30pm. Both Riley and Miles were down for the night, and Peyton had just returned from giving her father his medication. Taking his pills was just another thing he'd developed an obsession with. Now that he'd been given his dosage, though, he was in his room watching television (his was the only other room, besides the family room and master bedroom that had a working cable box), and wouldn't bother anyone until morning. That is, unless he started hallucinating about dogs or water dripping from the ceiling. The "water dripping from the ceiling" was actually just his own sweat from sleeping with so many layers because he was so cold all the time.

Needless to say, both Lucas and Peyton cherished the quiet time. They sat in the hallway of all places, wanting some sort of privacy, but with Peyton still wanting to be near Miles just in case. Lucas approached, shirtless with pajama bottoms, carrying one bowl of Haagen Dazs dulce de leche ice cream, and two glasses of iced seltzer water.

Peyton hung her head back and chuckled. "God, you spoil me."

"Do I?" Lucas smiled the smile that melted her on a daily basis. "I know you condemn eating upstairs, but I couldn't help myself."

"Well if it's this man with this ice cream, I can make an exception," Peyton said, digging her spoon into the treat. She shut her eyes at the feel of the treat on her tongue. "Mm. It's a sin how good this is."

"Oh yeah?" Lucas leaned in and kissed his wife's lips, his tongue wiping across her mouth, so he could taste the ice cream himself.

"What..." she laughed at him, slightly shocked, but also sort of expecting that from him.

"Oh be quiet, you're blushing," he noted, and he was right.

"Do that again," she pleaded, and he leaned in to kiss her, this time not taking her by surprise. Instead they sat in the hallway of their home, making out like they were still in high school. He pulled her closer and she him, running her hand down his chest, him with his hand grazing her slim waist.

"Baby, you still give me chills," he said when they pulled apart.

Peyton rolled her eyes, still unable to take a compliment to save her life. "How did the writing go?"

"Pretty poorly," he replied. "I mostly just spun around and around in my chair."

Peyton stared at him and laughed. "OK then."

"It's just so frustrating sometimes. The ideas come to my head, but then I just can't execute them." He shrugged. "Most likely that today's just an unproductive day, what with work and all."

"Hope so," Peyton replied, grabbed her hubby's hand. "I'm thinking next week sometime we tour the senior center?"

"Sure, whatever you say, Peyt," Lucas said.

"I think it'll be so good for him. He's getting out of control."

"Peyton!" Came Larry's shrill shout from his room downstairs. "There's a dog in my room!"

When he saw that Peyton was about to get up, he stopped her and said, "Wait, I got it." He spent the next ten minutes in Larry's bedroom, explaining that no, there were no dogs in his room. When he returned, he could tell Peyton was in pain. "Something hurt?"

"The back of my neck," Peyton said, and Lucas knelt by her side.

"Right here?"

"Ouch, yes," she said, leaned into Lucas' touch. "Feels nice." She didn't notice when Lucas snaked his arm underneath her legs to pick her up.

She began giggling. "What're you–"

"Carrying my lovely wife," he said. "Now shh!" He lay her upon their bed, where they got under the covers and snuggled. Lucas took out a book, and Peyton nudged him. "Yes, Dear?"

"Remember when you used to read to me?"

Lucas smirked. It'd become a tradition officially when Peyton was pregnant with each of their children, though it started when they began dating in high school, and still continued on random quiet nights like this one. "Would you like me to read to you?"

Peyton nodded, bit her lip. She found his sexy voice irresistible, especially when he was reading classic literature. She leaned in and bit his earlobe. "Please."

Lucas opened his book, _The Essential Tales of Chekhov,_ and began at the bookmarked page.

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

Despite my best efforts, my leg hurt too much to stay out until just before midnight. Around 10:45pm, we pulled in front of my house thanks to the Uber. We let ourselves into the darkened house, which signaled that everyone was most likely asleep, except maybe Dad who may have been up writing. I headed to the kitchen get myself a glass of guava juice, before running into my mom.

"Oh hey guys," she said, her voice heavy with sleep.

"You're still up?"

"I was getting more water. Back so soon?"

"My leg is killing me," I said, reaching into the fridge. That's when Mom saw it, and she woke right up.

"Oh my God–what is that on your hand?!"

"Relax!" I said. "The ring is on the right hand."

"It's not an engagement ring," Adrian added. "It's a promise ring."

Mom's hand rested over her heart. "You guys almost gave me a freaking heart attack! Jesus..." She yanked my hand towards her to examine the ring closely in the light. "How beautiful..."

"Right?!"

"That's a lot, Adrian..." Mom said, in her motherly way.

Adrian ran his hand to move hair from my eyes. "She's worth it."

Later on in my room, I was finally able to give Adrian his gift. It was an impressive watch. "Wow, baby, I love this."

"I figured since you're always complaining you don't know what time it is."

He laughed, leaned into kiss me. "Thank you..."

"You're welcome." I was relieved to be in comfy clothes and I could tell Adrian felt the same way.

"Oh, so guess what?"

"What?"

"My dad got Bill Charlap to play at the restaurant tomorrow night. I thought maybe you and your family would like to come? Liz's singing."

"Hell yeah! I'm down. That sounds like so much fun! Bill Charlap, wow."

"I know, right?"

I leaned in to kiss his cheek. "What have we got going on for movies and candy tonight?"

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

 **Next Chapter:**

 **Ella's and Adrian's weekend together continues, along with other events I don't want to give away! Until next time.**


	8. Have I Told You Lately

**Please let me know what you think of this.**

 _Chapter Seven_

Have I Told You Lately 

_Saturday, October 13_ _th_ _, 2029 10:00am_

Adrian had slept over with my parents' permission, but unbeknownst to them, he had snuck up from the couch in the family room into my room, doing well to sneak past my grandfather's keen sense of hearing nowadays. I had decided now that we were technically in a long distance relationship, waking up next to him was the best feeling ever.

"...Hi," I said, edged closer to him.

"Hey," he replied, his voice thick with sleep. He brushed the hair from my eyes. "Sleep OK?"

"Mhm," I said, and I intertwined our hands. "You?"

"Was fine." He rubbed his eyes with his free hand. He pulled me closer to him so our hips were touching. I was putting weight on my right hip, a pillow separating my left casted leg and my right leg.

I ran my hands through his hair. "Are you hungry?" I kept my voice lowered to a whisper, half afraid somebody would come and steal the moment from us.

"A little, but just a sec." He put his arms around me, kissed my temple. "Y'know, I decided to give you that promise ring because I see big things for us." Now he was whispering, his voice carrying with it a beautiful vulnerability that I heard every once in a while, and cherished every time I did.

"Like what?" I asked. My heart started to pound. I ran my hand over his stubbled cheek, the bumps edging over my palm.

The tips of his ears began to color a little pink. "Like…chasing our dreams together. Eventually, a wedding..." he chuckled, almost at himself. "Kids. Little you's and little me's."

I felt my cheeks getting hot and took a breath to cool them down. "You do not think about that stuff."

"Yeah I do," he said, smiling. "You don't?"

"Of course I do," I said, then averted my gaze from his powerful one.

"Aw, you're overwhelmed. It's OK." He kissed my forehead.

"No...I mean, yes, but...I really do think about that stuff too, baby."

"Yeah?" His smile only grew.

"Mhm. Like...how many kids we'll have."

"How many?"

"I figured we start with two and see how that goes." We laughed. "And then I think about...how I'm going to handle pregnancy."

"Oh, you mean how your body's going to change, and how that'll affect your balance and walking?"

"Yeah...like if I can do it."

"Of course you can."

"I mean, I watch my mom with the boys and I think to myself, how the _fuck_ am I going to handle that? I can barely keep up with Riley just walking and running around."

"You'll have me," he said, the words slipping past his lips so easily and harmlessly, like the dreams he spent time constructing in his head were already being filled with the colors of reality. "Don't worry." When he kissed me, the embrace was gentle and warm and passionate all at the same time. Just like that, my worries dissipated into thin air.

After breakfast, we went back upstairs, where Adrian went to shower and I went to make my bed. Adrian returned wearing sweatpants and a hoodie, his hair still damp and my bed all made. "Babe, do you mind if I do some homework? There's a lot I have to do with midterms coming up..."

"Not at all, I have work to do, too." I patted my bed, and Adrian joined me on it, grabbed his backpack on the way. He pulled out his laptop, whereas I pulled out my books and computer as well. Together we did homework, until we kept stopping to kiss each other, at which point I said, "Maybe I should sit at my desk," and moved to sit there, with my back to him. I laughed at myself for being so ridiculous. Ridiculous and happy.

Adrian seemed like he was getting work done, what with his fingers dancing over the keyboard, and his brows knitting together like they did when he was concentrating. I heard him switch gears to studying for what I assumed was his Econ midterm, shuffling papers around. After about two hours, we took a break. "Get work done?"

"Yeah," Adrian replied. "That Self Control App is amazing. You?"

"I did. Worked on my college essay, mostly." I used the walker to head back to the bed, sat down on it. "I know I should probably be freaking out about college apps right now, but according to Jamie, I've been very calm."

"You look calm. Don't freak out; you got this." He shut his textbook and opened his arms, and I gratefully edged into them. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my cheek. "Sorry school is so annoying."

I chuckled, "You love it and you know it."

"I do," he said, smiled in a content sort of way. Then, he moved to get up, and I made a whiny sound. "I have to pee," he laughed. "Be right back."

I only noticed that he left his cell phone on the night table when it went off in a chirp signaling a text message. I picked it up, seeing the message was from a Margie Reyes, with a photograph and the words:

 _Just r_ _ealized I had forgotten to send you this! Do with it what you want ;_ _)_ _Good times,_ _the night we_ _destroyed the other team in beer pong :)_

I will admit that while I am _not_ one to go looking through my boyfriend's phone, or anyone's phone really–as I find it to be a major invasion of privacy and space–curiosity got the best of me. I unlocked Adrian's phone as I knew the code, went to his messages. I opened the recent message from Margie and opened the photograph to get a closer look. The two were dressed up, Margie in a black do and Adrian in a nice dress shirt and jeans, and he had his arm around her. They were both smiling at the camera and seemed to be standing in the hallway of the dorm.

I didn't notice Adrian walk in. "….What's up?"

"You had a message," was all I could think to say, hoping my cheeks didn't look as red as they felt.

"Oh," he said, walking to the phone. I bit my lip when I realized the new message notification disappeared–since I was the one who opened it. "...Where?"

Fuck it. "Had. I opened it."

He furrowed his eyebrows at me. "You opened my message?"

"Mhm. It was from your new friend. Margie, right?"

"...Why would you look through my phone?"

"I only opened it when the message popped up on the screen. Why don't you go ahead and read it?"

Adrian glanced at the screen for only a few seconds. "...So? What's wrong with the picture?"

"It's not the picture, it's what she said. 'Do with it what you want?' with a wink face? Everyone knows what a fucking wink face means."

Adrian tossed the phone on the edge of the bed. "Oh Ella, come on. You're not honestly insinuating that...that I'm cheating on you with her?" He ran a hand through his hair. "I thought we were over this."

"….Over _what?"_

Adrian heaved a sharp sigh. "The mere idea of me–the mere possibility–of me cheating on you, let alone me cheating on you with my _friend_!"

 _"_ Is the idea really that ludicrous, Adrian?"

 _"_ _Yes!_ Yes, it is! I just spent–I just gave you that promise ring–I _hate_ cheating. OK? Think about it: witnessing first hand my mom cheating on my dad…you really think I would do that to you?!"

I heaved a heavy breath. Memories of that evening came flooding back. Seeing Rebecca with a strange man, kissing him on a street corner… seeing Adrian's heartbreak. "I'm sorry."

"You're something else, bringing that up when you've been spending a lot of time with Sheff."

"What?" I gaped at him.

"Yeah, you don't like it, do you?" he snapped at me.

"Hey," I said, my voice dangerously low. "I said I was sorry. And I'm not–I'm not cheating on you with Sheff. How could you think that?"

"I _don't,_ but I could ask the same of you, Ella! Do you see the hypocrisy?"

I held out my hand, close to tears. "So now I'm a hypocrite?"

"Close to one!" He sighed again, hung his arms loosely at his sides. "Ok. I didn't–I didn't mean to say that."

"Yes you did," I cried, wiping at my eyes.

"I just meant...I just wanted to demonstrate that you think the idea of you and Sheff is insane, but that's how I feel of your conception of me and Margie: that it's crazy. Do you know why?"

"Why?" I whispered.

"Because of you. I am so in love with you, I can't breathe right most of the time." He sat on the bed, crawled to kiss my right ankle. "Most of the time we don't have to make such big declarations." He looked at me for a bit. "Me being away at school is really hard on you, isn't it?"

I nodded, and in a moment out of my control, I began to sob, covered my face with my eyes.

"Aw, baby..." Adrian moved up on the bed until I was in his arms. "Please don't cry..." He rubbed his hand up and down my shoulder, kissed my temple over and over again. "Don't cry." He let me cry it out, not loosening his hold on me once. "Everything's gonna be alright!"

When my cries lessened, I said, "Sorry for acting like such a crazy bitch." We both dissolved into laughter, and I knew we'd made it to the other side.

-xx-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Jesse's restaurant in Fayetteville was filled to the brim with a line around the block to see Bill Charlap. We had a table reserved, which included Aunt Brooke and Uncle Julian, and my uncle Nathan and aunt Haley. They had decided to also leave the kids at home with Lydia James and Brooke's mother, Victoria. The two women thought to watch all the kids at the mansion so they could play and hangout. Riley and Miles were left with Grandma Karen and Andy.

As Bill Charlap was introduced onto stage by Jesse and Liz, and Liz began singing "The Nearness of You," a calmness washed over the space as the piano's sounds filled the club. I sat next to Adrian, and once in a while his knee would bump mine, or he would bring his right hand to rest against my thigh. I peeped a glance at my parents, who were both enraptured by the music. As were all my aunts and uncles that were there. I also caught a look at Jesse, who was staring intensely at Liz performing. He looked like a man in love. It got me to thinking about the moment I fell in love with Adrian. If I absolutely had to pin it out down to one moment, it might be the time he played a Billie Holiday song for me on his sax in this club.

As Liz and Bill Charlap finished the song, applause erupted. "Wow," I said.

"I know," Adrian replied. He brought his hand to run up and down my back. Liz and Charlap performed another set, and then they took a little break. I turned to my family and saw that Uncle Nathan and Aunt Haley had excused themselves, my aunt to go to the restroom and Uncle Nathan out front to take a work call coming in.

"Now that they're gone," Aunt Brooke said. "We can talk about the party!"

It was almost unbelievable to me that Aunt Haley and Uncle Nathan's 25th wedding anniversary was coming up. In celebration of this momentous occasion, Jamie had come up with the idea to throw his parents an extravagant surprise celebration. He enlisted the help and resourcefulness of Aunt Brooke and my parents very early on, as an event of such proportions required great planning and meticulous attention to detail. It was no easy feat to plan such an event with a grand guest list and expenses like food, the venue, a photographer, decorations, flowers, and a DJ. Moreover, it was no easy feat to do all of those things with your parents having absolutely no idea.

Jamie, Bridget, Mattie, Aunt Brooke, Natalie and the twins, my mom, and myself had gotten together in secret under the code name _operation 25,_ and planned the whole thing. Typical of my aunt Brooke to come bearing large binders, pens and paper and a large checklist. She mostly went by Jamie and Mattie's own ideas about how the celebration for their parents should go, planned around that. Admittedly, my cousins' ideas were pretty sweet and sentimental, like a video slideshow of my aunt and uncle when they first got married in high school and right before that, along with live speeches done by Matthew and Jamie about what their parents and their love mean to them. They wanted the color scheme to include purple, as everyone knew about the significance of Aunt Haley and Uncle Nathan and little purple flowers. Needless to say, the past couple months planning it had been fun–stressful, what with Jamie also having college to worry about–but fun.

"Well now it's just the waiting game," Mom reasoned. "Everything is booked. The planning is complete. Now it's just about waiting for the big day! What did Jamie say we were gonna tell Nate and Hales again?"

My cousin had to come up with an elaborate plan to lure his parents to the venue, called Hidden River Events in a little town called Swananoa. It was about ten or so minutes from Asheville. The venue was rustic, simple, gorgeous and so very Nathan and Haley.

"'Matthew has a benefit dinner for his travel basketball team,'" Aunt Brooke replied, with air quotation marks. "Mattie has a very important job: he's going to lead his parents into the tent."

"Right," Mom said. "This is so exciting!"

"I know!" Aunt Brooke said, feeding off my mom's enthusiasm. "It's coming up so soon!" The celebration was on Saturday, October 27th. My parents had already booked a room at the local Hilton, the Doubletree by Hilton Asheville Biltmore, and we were leaving that Friday, October 26th after school and work. Aunt Lisa and Uncle Derek had agreed to watch both Riley and Miles, insisting it was no trouble. "Adrian," Aunt Brooke said. "You're coming too, right?"

I laughed. Apparently Adrian's attendance was one that mattered a lot.

He laughed, too. "Yes; I RSVP'd a long time ago."

Aunt Brooke clapped. "Yay! Now: everyone has their dresses and suits, yes?"

I had went to Aunt Brooke's boutique in Charlotte to pick out a dress, then Aunt Brooke insisted on having a dress custom made for me. It was green, strapless, brought out my eyes. Aunt Brooke also had a custom dress made for my mom. We were all set. I know for sure Dad has nice suits in his closet somewhere.

"Uh…they are coming back!" Adrian said, wide eyed.

"Shh!" Aunt Brooke said, and we all shut up.

Uncle Nathan slunk back into his booth seat at the same time Aunt Haley returned. "What'd we miss?"

"We were just about to get more drinks," Dad said easily, and we all looked relived that he had thought of something to fill the awkward silence. "What does everyone want?"

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

 _Saturday, October 20_ _th_ _, 2029_ _11:00am_

With my aunt and uncle's surprise celebration only a week away, my families' homes were buzzing with activity, while at the same time trying to pretend nothing was different. For me, I was still focusing on completing my college apps on time, along with my recovery. On Monday, I was going to take another short trip to New York City with my dad, so Dr. Farrell could take off the red cast and replace it with a boot. To say I was excited was an understatement. At least I could take the boot off when I was tired or irritated or needed to take a _real_ shower.

That Saturday, I was with my parents in the kitchen of our home, when my phone rang.

"Hi," I said, seeing _Lion_ go across my screen.

 _"Hey," he said. "Do you have a second or are you busy?"_

"Hang on," I said, sighing. I asked my parents if they could leave the kitchen because I couldn't carry my phone and use the walker all at the same time. They did. "OK we can talk."

 _"Ella, I have some bad news."_

My stomach flipped. "What's going on?"

 _"I won't be able to come to your aunt and uncle's party next week."_

I was quiet. "….Oh."

 _"I'm so sorry, baby… I just have way too much work."_

"But you already RSVP'd."

 _"I know, I know… but I have a project and a paper due and I just can't swing it."_

"They usually note those kinds of things on the syllabus, don't they?" I asked, unable to help myself.

 _"Ella...come on, if I could come to this party I absolutely would. Please don't be upset."_

"Of course I'm upset. Now we have to wait until around the second week of November. That's three weeks away from now."

" _Ella, three weeks is not that bad."_

"Yeah, you would say that," I huffed in annoyance.

 _"_ _I have no idea what that even means."_

I said nothing.

" _I want to see you, I just can't next weekend. OK?"_

"...OK," I said.

 _"I have to get going…_."

"So you can't come to the party, and now you can't even stay on the phone with me?" Adrian was quiet. "Look, whatever. I'll talk to you later. Bye." I let the phone drop onto the kitchen table. "You guys can stop listening, the conversation's over," I called to my parents, who eventually came back into the kitchen.

"What happened?" Mom asked.

"Adrian can't come to the party next week. He has too much work to do."

"Oh, no..." Mom said. "I'm sorry, honey."

"It just sucks. I was really counting on seeing him. And he already RSVP'd, who does that?"

"Things come up, Ella," Dad said, as he continued to make brunch for us. "It'll be OK."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 _Saturday, October 2_ _7th_ _, 2029_ _3:_ _00_ _pm_

"OK Ella, let me help you in the shower," Mom said, walked towards me. Dad was given the job of keeping Grandpa Larry occupied.

Ever since Dr. Farrell took off the cast and left me in a black, removable, strapped boot, I felt freer. Dr. Farrell made a point to say that I needed desensitization to my left leg, and Emilie translated that to mean that I basically needed a leg massage with lotion every night, just to get my leg accustomed to some contact and sensation, to prove that it wasn't as fragile as it seemed.

When I got in the shower, I was extra careful. This hotel shower was an accessible walk-in, but it had no seat. I held onto the bar tightly, waiting for my mom to turn on the water. When the water sprouted from the shower head, it was initially cold. "Wait!" I shrieked. "My leg!"

"What's the matter!"

"My leg, Mom!" I cried, cowered away from the cold water. I looked down, and my left leg, now free of cast and boot, bare and vulnerable, was still in one piece.

"Baby, your leg is fine," she said, in her most gentle voice. "The water is hot now. Look," she brought some of the water into the palm of her hand, and stepped into the shower to put some of the water onto my leg. She was right, it was hot and relaxing. "See?" The shower had a removable shower head, and Mom took the detached shower head and aimed it at my leg, to desensitize it. "There we go. No need to be afraid."

I let out a breath, watched as Mom put the shower head in its place. "Thanks." I stepped into the water, mildly, but let it run down my hair and back. Soon my muscles began to relax. Mom helped me shampoo and condition my hair, and then I washed my body thoroughly with soap. I was mostly quiet, thinking about Adrian and what he was up to at this very moment.

"OK," Mom said, breaking my thoughts. "All done and good as new! Let me help you out."

She took my hand, slick with shower water. I looked down and saw that there was a small ridge between the bathroom floor and the shower, to account for the shower door itself. "Step over," Mom said, as it was the easiest concept in the world. I knew she was just trying to make me brave and show me that it was no big deal, but I just couldn't get my left leg to move. "Go ahead."

"I'm trying," I bit my back. I was shivering–cold, wet, naked. My toes on my left foot were quivering, but they wouldn't move. I envisioned putting weight on my left leg and it shattering like it was porcelain. "Mama!"

"Honey," Mom said, her panic level almost matching mine. "It's OK!"

"I can't."

"Yes, you can," Mom said, her voice firm and confident. "It's just a little step."

"Not to me," I said. Mom bent down and was about to move my leg for me. "No!" I shouted. "No, please, please don't touch it." I _hated_ when people did that. It made me feel like I had less control than what I already had, and that wasn't a lot.

A knock on the door startled both of us. "Everything OK?" it was Dad.

"Here." Mom was about to let go.

My grip on her tightened. "Are you crazy?" I yelled. "Where are you going?"

"Hold onto the wall with both hands. I'm just gong to grab you a robe. One sec, Luke," Mom called to the closed door. Once I was holding on, Mom let go of me and quickly crossed the room, grabbed a fluffy white robe, and put it on me, tightened it. "Luke, could you come in here?"

Dad entered the bathroom, and a gust of cold air followed. "What's going on?"

"We need a hand," Mom said, and Dad closed the door behind him.

"With?"

"I need help," I said, my teeth chattering less now that the robe was on me. "I can't get my leg over."

"She's afraid," Mom added.

Dad watched me. "What if you moved your right leg first? Here, hold onto me." He motioned for me to grab onto his arm, and I did it quickly, transferred my hand from the wet shower wall. "Good. Now, move your right leg and foot forward, and put weight on your left leg."

"I feel like my leg is going to break!"

"It's not going to break, Ella," Dad answered, as calm as ever. "Dr. Farrell would _not_ have put you in the boot if he didn't think you were healed enough, strong enough. Your leg can handle this bit of weight, I _promise_ you." With Dad looking into my eyes, with my hand on his strong arm, I moved my right leg first. Dad moved his arm forward the slightest bit to give me momentum. I flinched when my toe grazed the ridge of the shower door, but _finally_ got my right leg onto the bathroom floor. "There you go!" I breathed out in utter relief. "Almost there, step forward with your left foot. You can do it."

With both my parents beside me along with their encouragement, I got out of that blasted shower. Both of them held onto me until I felt steady enough, and was holding onto the counter top in front of the bathroom mirror. "Well. That was annoying."

Getting dressed wasn't nearly as dramatic, as Mom and I stayed in the bathroom. Mom helped brush my hair, after which I blew it out with a blow dryer. Then, she helped me dress quickly, slipped on my panties, strapless bra and dress, all with that damn boot on.

A brash knock on the door erupted me from the process. "Are you almost done? You're taking forever!"

"Chill out, Grandpa!" I yelled back.

"Easy," Mom warned.

"I don't even know why he's rushing me, he's getting ready last."

"Your grandfather's a pain in the ass; you know that." We both laughed, and finally left the bathroom.

"OK, great, I'm next," Grandpa said, getting up.

"No, I am," Mom said, grabbed a fresh towel before Grandpa could say another word.

"She's too slow," he huffed.

Dad chuckled. "Larry, Peyton will be done in ten minutes."

Grandpa Larry's new laugh since the stroke was an obnoxious one. "What world do you live in?"

Dad stared at me, and I had to laugh. As annoying as my grandpa was, at least we could take humor from it. "You look amazing."

"Thanks, Dad," I said. "Could you help me with my necklace?"

"Sure," Dad moved to clasp the necklace that Adrian got me for my birthday a few years ago around my neck. "Flats?"

"Rather, flat," I corrected, holding up my manicured right foot. Dad hung his head back and laughed, but got down on one knee like the gentleman that he was.

After fifteen minutes, I heard Mom's voice from the bathroom. " _Luke! Can you pass me my dress?"_

"Which one is it?"

" _The purple one!"_

"Well then I'm gonna see what it looks like," Dad pouted, and it might've been the cutest thing I've ever seen.

"It's in the second garment bag from the top, Dad," I said, patted his arm.

"Got it."

When Mom emerged, Dad's jaw almost fell to the floor. She looked stunning. "...Wow."

Mom's cheeks colored a bit, but all she said was, "I have to get my dad in the shower."

He laughed, "OK. Your turn, Larry."

"Time to get ready, Dad," Mom said.

"Finally!"

I noticed Mom kept checking her phone when Grandpa Larry was showering. "Why are you checking your phone so much? Uncle Nathan and Aunt Haley aren't supposed to show up till 7. It's only almost 5."

"No reason," was Mom's reply. She never looked at her phone so much before.

When we were all fancy, we headed out of the hotel room and into the elevator. Mom put her arm around me when she noticed me staring into space. "Cheer up, baby. I know you miss him, but we're still going to have a great time, OK?"

I nodded. When we made into the glamorous hotel lobby, Mom's heels clacked on the shiny floor. Before we reached the main entrance ahead of the concierge desk, Mom and Dad and Grandpa turned around. "What are we doing?"

"Turn around," Mom said, motioned past my shoulder.

"...Turn around?"

"Turn around!"

When I turned around, the last person I was expecting to see was my boyfriend, looking as handsome as ever in his blue suit by Kenneth Cole and brown dress shoes. He was looking at me with those amber eyes, wearing that soft smile.

"You knew?!" I asked my parents. My eyes filled with tears.

"Go, silly!"

With my walker, I made my way toward him, and he took me into his arms. "Hi baby," he said, laughed.

I kissed him deeply in the middle of the lobby, his hands grazing my hips. "Adrian..." his eyes shut at the way I said his name. "I thought you weren't coming!"

"I wanted it to be a surprise," Adrian said, rubbing off my lipstick with his finger. "Can't _believe_ I pulled that off."

"How'd you get here?! You cut your hair..."

"See, there are these things called cars..."

I swatted his chest. "I thought you were really busy this weekend."

Adrian shrugged. "I did most of my work yesterday. And I just said that so that the surprise would have more impact." He kissed me again. "You look beautiful."

"It's so not cool that you messed with my head like that."

He laughed. "I missed you too, Gummy."

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

The venue at Hidden River Events in Swananoa was gorgeous. It was held outdoors under a tent, with a dance floor surrounded by patio lighting. White string lighting surrounded the tent. They really did a fantastic job. We miraculously arrived at 6, which was when we were meant to get there to ensure zero stragglers that would ruin the surprise. We found our table easily, and were seated next to Aunt Brooke, Uncle Julian, Natalie and the twins.

"You made it!" Aunt Brooke cheered. "Drinks? Open bar."

The adults drank, except my mom, chatted, took photographs, laughed as the hour winded down to 7.

"What time is it?"

"6:55!" I said, and the band leader announced that five minutes were left until the couple of the hour arrived.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"The benefit dinner is under that tent?" Haley asked, as she held Nathan's hand. "That's so pretty."

"Mhm," Matthew said, smirked. "Come on, guys." His words easy and casual. He wore a suit and gray dress shirt with a black tie. Nathan and Haley looked at each other, impressed by Mathew's confident stride as he led his parents from the car through to the front to the tent. As soon as the couple entered the tent, the lights went up.

" _SURPRISE!_ "

The photographer appeared in bursts of light, as Nathan and Haley saw _25_ in huge balloons at the back of the tent. Haley's hand immediately went to her mouth and Nathan looked bewildered, a grin on his handsome face. Matthew started jumping up and down, and Jamie emerged from the crowd carrying Olivia. Almost every single guest held up phones and cameras and camcorders to capture this priceless moment.

Haley pointed at Jamie in a jocose kind of way, and he only laughed. "Congrats, Mom and Dad!" Haley wrapped all her babies in a hug, and everyone could see the happy tears on her face.

The dinner commenced, and after the appetizers, Jamie got up with his brother and sister and started speaking into the microphone. The whole place hushed. "Uh...now, I'm not one for speeches, but I figure since this _is_ for my parents, I had to say something." The room laughed a little. "I just want to start by saying a huge thank you to everyone who came out tonight, I know it's a little far from our beloved Tree Hill. I also want to sincerely thank my beautiful godmother, Brooke Davis-Baker, for all her help in planning this out, as well as all my amazing aunts, Aunt Peyton, Aunt Quinn, Aunt Taylor...all my cousins….my amazing girlfriend, Bridget…. _thank you._ " Jamie cleared his throat, and turned to Nathan and Haley who sat at their own table by the front. "And I want to say to my wonderful parents: we'd all consider ourselves lucky to have a love like yours. Your union is an inspiration." Jamie took a breath, about to cry. "I love you both more than you'll ever know, and I wish you infinite years of happiness together." He wiped at his eyes as Haley blew him a kiss.

Then, Matthew took the microphone. "I think trying to keep this a secret was the hardest thing ever." He smiled at everyone's reaction. "And leading you guys in here was _not_ easy...but I did it because you're the best mom and dad a kid could ask for. And I love you."

Then, five year-old Olivia got the microphone. She got beet red in embarrassment at the attention. She turned to Matthew, who was holding her up. She turned to him to whisper, "What do I say?" except that most of that got caught on the microphone and everyone heard it and they thought it was so sweet.

Matthew laughed, then whispered in her ear.

"I love you, Mommy and Daddy," she recited, and then smiled a big heartwarming smile. "Let's party!"

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Once the food had been eaten, almost everyone made their way to the dance floor, including Lucas and Peyton, right after Nathan and Haley danced to "Have I Told You Lately."

"I never got a chance to tell you how gorgeous you look," Lucas said, brushed a stray strand of hair from his wife's face.

"Thanks," she said, leaned up to kiss him on the mouth. "I can't believe I finally got you on the dance floor," she teased.

"The party's only just started, babe."

"Oh yeah?"

He grinned at her. "Definitely."

Over Lucas' shoulder, Peyton saw Brooke motion to her with her hand, as if to say _go! I got this,_ so that the couple could squeeze in some alone time. She saw that Larry was under the watchful eye of Julian, and Ella, _and_ Adrian. "Feel like disappearing?"

Lucas raised his eyebrows at her. "Seriously?"

"Seriously. Come on, just for a little bit."

The way she looked at him made the offer so fucking tempting, he couldn't say no. He took her hand and pulled her off the dance floor, and he was pretty sure nobody, (except Brooke) noticed.

When they got outside, they walked for a bit away from the tent, sat on a wooden bench overlooking a field. "It's beautiful here," Peyton said.

"You're beautiful," Lucas replied, his words soft and meaningful. He watched her wrap her shawl around her bare shoulders and decided she never did look so lovely. "Are you happy we came?"

"Mhm," Peyton answered, leaned into Lucas' side. "Even though my dad is a handful."

"Sure is." Lucas put his arm around her. "He looks like he's having fun, though!"

They sat and enjoyed the quiet, until Peyton said, "I miss our babies."

Lucas took out his cell phone from his suit jacket inside pocket. "Way ahead of you."

After dialing Lisa and Derek to check on Riley and Miles, in which they were assured that everything was just fine, Lucas leaned in to kiss his wife's cheek. "You're a great mom, baby."

"Thanks," she whispered. "And you're a great dad. And son-in-law," she couldn't help but add.

He laughed. "Ah, geez."

She looked at him and knew that right now, even though it would just be a few moments of kissing, that it would be the only intimacy she'd get with him the whole weekend. So, she leaned in to kiss him, kissed him until his lips parted and she felt his tongue next to her own, felt the way his hand ran rather frantically up her arm. There they stayed.

-x-x-x- **EGS-** x-x-x-

"Where did Peyton and Lucas go?" Grandpa asked the table.

"They'll be back soon, Larry," Aunt Brooke said. "Don't worry."

"Gummy," Adrian whispered. "Wanna go outside for a second?"

I nodded. "We'll be right back."

"Where are you going?!" Grandpa demanded, and I ignored him.

Once we were outside, I caught a glimpse of my parents heading in, but they didn't see me.

I think Adrian could tell my boot was starting to bother me, so he asked me, "Want me to take your boot off?" once we were sitting down.

I nodded, "Yes please."

He patted his lap, and I lifted my legs onto them. He undid the boot with care, and I breathed out in relief to have it off for a bit. He ran his warm hands up and down my leg to relax me more. "Better?"

"Much."

"Good." Echoes of the party drifted through the breezy air. He had taken off his suit jacket and draped it over my shoulders. "Having a good time?"

"A great time," I said, curled into his side. "….Where are you sleeping tonight?"

"In the room that I paid for," Adrian said. "Wanna come with me?"

"Really?"

"Mhm. There's no space for me to stay with you, your parents and your grandfather," Adrian said. "Gummy, we can have the room all to ourselves. You want to?"

"Absolutely," I said, shivering in the breeze.

"Good. I can't wait to get you alone."

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

"Absolutely not," Mom said, as we got ready to leave the party. I tried to strategically time when I was going to ask her–not in the middle of the party so as not to ruin her good time, but towards the end. Mom gathered her shawl around her shoulders and grabbed her clutch.

"Mom, come on," I said. "...Please?"

"Ella, you're not staying in that room with your boyfriend. I said no."

"Mom, I haven't seen him in two weeks. He's only here for the night… come _on,_ you knew this was gonna happen when you helped plan for him to come. There's no way he's gonna stay in the room with you and Dad and... _Grandpa."_

"Adrian can sleep on the sofa bed."

"He already paid for his own room!"

"OK well, he's gonna have to stay in the room by himself then."

"Are you serious?"

"Yes."

"Look," I leaned in close to whisper to her. "He'll use a condom."

"OK," Mom said, holding up her hand to silence me.

"What? He will. It's not like you'll be providing a place for us to have sex for the first time. We've already had sex."

"Oh my God. Stop now please," Mom said, and I smirked a bit. "You're not going to change my mind. I said no, and that's it."

"Does it make you nervous? We've been dating for almost three years."

"Three years, wow," Mom said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"So that's a no."

"It's a very firm no. Don't bother appealing to your father."

"Alright then. Thanks," I said, giving her an unenthusiastic smile.

"Ella, he's here with you now. Enjoy this time, and stop asking me permission to do something outrageous."

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

When the clock struck 3am and everyone in the room was asleep, I put on my sneaker and boot in the darkness. I crept to the door of the hotel room. This was going to be the hardest part: opening the damn door. Hopefully Grandpa Larry's snoring will cover up the noise. _But what about the light?_ With a deep breath, I opened the door just enough to fit through with my walker and stepped into the hallway. I shut the door behind me gently after double checking that I had my keycard.

After going up a floor, I rapped on the door of room 714. Adrian answered moments later, in his boxers. "Holy shit, you actually snuck out?!"

"Um, hello to you too."

"Get in here," he said, pulling on my wrist. He snaked an arm around my waist and gave me a long kiss, pushing the door closed blindly. "Hi." He moved a piece of hair away from my face. "Aw, you look so cute in your pajamas."

"Shut up," I said. "Do I really?"

"Yeah," he said. "You do! Does your leg hurt with you walking all the way here?"

"Not really. I hate this damn boot, though."

"Here," Adrian said. He guided me to sit on the bed. "Let's take it off." I lifted up my left leg and let Adrian undo the straps and ease my leg out of the boot with great care. I breathed out a sigh of relief as he ran his hand up and down my leg. "Better?"

"So much better. I feel free."

"Good." Adrian put the boot to the side and I eyed his bare chest. He'd gotten more muscular in the last few years we'd been a couple. My boyfriend looked more like a man. "...What?" he asked, crawling toward me.

"You're _really_ sexy," I said, smiling up at him. I ran my hands up his waist and the smooth skin of his back. "And you're damn right I snuck out."

Adrian sent me that smirk my heart started racing. He bent down to kiss me, and I pulled him close, our tongues rubbing together. While my hands ran through his hair, his began to unzip the top part of my pajama. He traced his hand down my cleavage, my flat stomach. He dropped kisses there, then he moved up and kissed each breast, before his lips met mine. "Ella…" his voice was husky, deep, and rough. He moved his left hand up my bent knee and along the inside of my left thigh, up my stomach and cupping my breast, kneading the flesh. He once told me that any time I moaned or even breathed when he was touching me it turned him on so bad. "You are _so_ beautiful."

"You think about me up at school?"

"Of course I do. Every day and every night." I pressed my hand against his throbbing erection and he buried his face into my neck.. "Every fucking night." Without warning I reached my hand into the warmth of his briefs and took him in my palm, stroking him up and down, just how he'd taught me all those years ago. "Fuck..." he dug his fingers into my flesh, eventually his briefs fell down and I kept on stroking him as he throbbed for me. "Ella, I want you so bad!"

"I'm here," I whispered to him, watched as his eyes shut closed and he began to pulse in my palm. "I'm not going anywhere."

In a moment of pure desire, Adrian pulled down my panties, his fingers situating between my legs. I began to whimper, the sounds he said he loved to hear. "Aw, baby, you're so wet already..."

I focused on stroking him faster and with a little more pressure, and he did the same. Soon he came onto my stomach, hot and sticky, but I didn't care at all.

"Adrian..." I said, my moans spurring him on. He slipped a finger inside of me, moving against me quite rapidly. I grabbed onto the clean bedsheets as my legs began to tense up, my toes curling and my stomach flipping.

"Yeah?"

"God… you have no idea."

He began rubbing circles around my clitoris, too fast for me to catch my breath. He kissed the side of my mouth and I held onto that feeling. "Come for me," was what he said next. "It's just you and me, baby."

I dug my nails into his shoulder as he continued to finger me. In the weeks that passed since the surgery I ached for his touch and for a release. "I...think..." my toes curled even more, Adrian putting his knee in between my legs.

"It's alright," he said, his voice soft, his fingers urgent. "Just let go, I'm here." Finally I released, coming all over his hands. He moaned along with me, kissing me, rubbing his tongue with mine. "Felt good?"

"Baby..." I said, pulling him impossibly close, feeling his body heat. "Make love to me."

"…You sure it'll be OK with your leg?"

I nodded. "Just be gentle..."

"Of _course_." The way he looked at me was nearly enough for me to let go all over again. I watched from my position on the bed as Adrian got up and rummaged in his duffel bag for lube and condoms. He was back hovering over me in no time, opening the lubricant and spreading it all over me. He slipped on the condom with ease, made sure it was slick with lubricant for painless entry. "...Anything new you want to try?"

Lately, he asked that question whenever we were intimate. It was casual, yet genuine and respectful. We both knew that there were certain sexual positions that were off limits because my lack of mobility and flexibility, but that didn't keep Adrian from giving me the space to voice my desire to explore with him. So, I replied with, "...Nothing too crazy, but…what if we tried with me laying on my side?"

"Sure, as long as it doesn't hurt your hip. Here, why don't we put a pillow underneath." Adrian grabbed a fluffy pillow and lay it down, and I rested my right hip on it. It would've been way too painful and too risky to put weight on my left hip. Adrian lay down behind me, guiding my left arm over my chest. "I'm right here, Gummy." He kissed my cheek. "Ready?"

"That kinda kills the mood, baby."

"I just wanna make sure. Sorry."

I reached over to kiss him, and he crept his tongue into my mouth. At the same time, he sank into me and I mewled a little.

"You OK?"

"It might be tighter from this angle," I said. "I'm OK. I promise."

Slowly he began thrusting in and out, getting even more turned on by my moaning. He placed his hand on my left hip, pressing down into my flesh. "You are so fucking sexy," he said into my ear. "So warm..." He kissed along my neck, putting his leg over my leg as he thrust a little harder and a little faster. "God, I missed you so much..."

"I missed you too," I said, as I grabbed his hand to palm my breast, and he kissed me. "Wait, wait..."

He stopped. "You OK?"

"My leg," I said. "Your hand is pressing on my scar."

"Oh, fuck, sorry," he said, moving his hand to rest on my shin instead.

"I just don't want anything to happen to my leg. Please, please be careful..."

"...Would you rather we stop, baby?"

I shook my head no, looked at him. "I wanna be with you." It'd been over two months since we last had sex. And yes, I kept track of how long it'd been.

"I wanna be with you, too," he whispered in my ear, after he kissed my cheek.

"Keep going," I implored, and soon I felt him start to thrust into me again, sexy sounds leaving my mouth. I'd almost forgotten how good it felt to make love to him, how he knew my body with his eyes blindfolded, and me his. How he knew to hold my leg with great tenderness, made sure that my knees didn't knock together. He knew to remind me every second that he was with me, breathing on my neck, one hand palming my left breast, whispering sweet nothings in my ear. "Adrian... _I love you_..."

"I love you too," he said, reaching down and interlocking our fingers. "With all my heart."

I'm pretty sure having Adrian enter me from behind was the best position we've tried so far, considering I came twice, and hard. We both ended up collapsing onto the bed, our limbs intertwined. Adrian ran a warm hand up and down my left leg. "Tired?"

I nodded and let out an imperceptible sound, reaching for him under the sheets. My legs were strained and throbbing, but I still felt amazing. Adrian rested his palm on my belly, giving me a languid kiss. "We can't fall asleep," I whispered to him. "I have to sneak back in."

Adrian groaned in a childish kind of way, hugging me to him. "You felt so good, baby," he said in my ear. "I could do that all night."

"I don't think I have that kind of stamina...I wish I did."

"Hey," Adrian said, tilting my chin so that I could meet his gaze. "Remember when we first started...practicing?"

I smiled at the familiarity and all the memories. "Yeah."

"You didn't think you could have sex at all. And you were having a hard time climaxing. Look at you now. We got this down pat."

I laughed. "I guess so."

"We do. I'll defend us till the end."

I gave him a look that said it all, then nestled into his embrace. Of course, we ended up falling asleep. Soon it was like my anxiety knew to warn me, and I woke up with a start, timid sunlight filtering through the billowy curtains. "Shit!"

"What happened?" Adrian asked, barely awake.

"Oh my God!" I slapped him on the arm, and he woke right up.

"What was that for?"

"We fell asleep! My mom is going to fucking kill me." I sat up and pulled my pajamas over my naked body, zipping them up. I reached for my I-Phone on the night table. "Yep, she called me four times."

"Four times, that's not that bad."

"It's enough!" I raked my fingers through my blonde locks. "Ugh, I have sex hair. Thanks a lot." Adrian started laughing. "It's not funny! We're dead."

There was a brash series of knocks on the door. Adrian and I both looked toward it, then at each other. "Oh, shit," he said, before he rushed to put on underwear. Then, he put my boot on for me. The knocks only got louder.

"Fuck!" I twirled around, and realizing that there was not much I could do to aid or better my situation, headed towards the door with a deep breath.

 _Who was the softer option? Mom or Dad?_ I thought to myself. I opened the door, prayed and hoped to see my father on the other side.

Instead it was my mom, hands on her hips, Dad's suit jacket over her pajamas. She looked enraged.

 _Yep,_ I thought. _Definitely Dad._

"Ella Grace," Mom seethed. "Come with me. Right now."

"...Are you going to hurt me?"

"I'm going to kick your ass! Come with me right now before I drag you by the ear!"

I grabbed my walker and followed my mom into the hallway without so much as a goodbye to my boyfriend, knowing I would see him at the breakfast buffet. Mom might be furious, but there was no way she could deny anyone food.

"I can't believe you," Mom huffed, stalked down towards the elevators. "I helped Adrian out with this surprise, and this how you repay me?!"

"Mom, no offense, but there's no way you didn't anticipate this happening. You were young once too. And don't say you and Dad weren't dating at my age, because I know you were; it's fact in our house."

"Anticipate or not Ella, it's incredibly inappropriate. We came here to celebrate your aunt and uncle, not so you could sleep with your boyfriend."

"Mom..."

"You know, you have zero concept of when I tell you not to do something."

"I hadn't seen him in weeks, and I just wanted to reconnect with him."

"Have a conversation!" Mom cried. "God."

"Can you just–can you just level with me, here? it's hard enough that Adrian's at college with everyone telling us, _no way this can last._ I don't need you to be one of those people, too."

"I didn't say that you two weren't going to last."

"Right, you're just doing everything humanely possible to keep us apart."

We stepped into the elevator. "Ella, I helped your boyfriend come visit for the party. I let you spend time with him. You took it a step too far."

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "...Did you tell Dad?"

"He already knows. It was our idea for me to come get you."

I followed Mom down the hallway to our room, where Dad and Grandpa Larry were already dressed for breakfast. "Where the hell have _you been_?" Grandpa asked, staring me down.

"Grandpa, don't start," I said, sitting on the edge of the bed closest to the door.

"You were with Adrian, weren't you? You don't do that. It's not nice."

I fought the urge to cry as I felt Dad watching me.

"OK Larry," he said, clapped his hands together. "Why don't we put your sneakers on. You're hungry, aren't you?"

"Very. When's breakfast?"

"As soon as we go down there; it's a buffet." Dad knelt on his knees and helped Grandpa put on his sneakers and tie the laces.

"I still have to get dressed," I said, to nobody in particular.

"Well hurry up," Mom said. "Everyone's waiting for us."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

The buffet was a typical one, and I sat at one of the tables while Mom got up to fetch me a plate of food. Dad was getting his own plate and Grandpa's plate, while Grandpa pointed to the food he wanted. I was left sitting by myself.

"Hey Fruitcake," Jamie said, sitting in the seat diagonal to mine. His girlfriend Bridget took the seat across from me.

"You OK, Ella?" she asked me.

"Yeah."

Jamie stared. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing."

"C'mon, I can tell something's wrong. Tell me."

I checked to see that my parents were out of earshot. "I snuck out to see Adrian last night."

"Oooh," Jamie teased. "Were you and him looking to get private?"

"Yes," I said, totally serious. "Don't look at me like that, OK? Mom's making me feel bad enough."

"She's just overprotective, kid. I'm sure she didn't mean whatever she said."

I nodded, and over Brigi's shoulder saw Adrian walk over to us, carrying two plates of food. "Hey," he greeted the table.

"We're gonna get some food," Jamie motioned for Brigi to follow him, and the couple headed to the buffet, left Adrian and me alone.

"You OK, baby?" Adrian asked me, rubbing my back. "You're so quiet." His eyebrows knitted together when he noticed the tears in my eyes. "….What's the matter?"

"My mom just said something that really bothered me after she came to your room this morning."

"What'd she say?"

"'We came here to celebrate your aunt and uncle, not so you could sleep with your boyfriend….' implying that I'm some kind of slut."

" _She said that_?!" Adrian asked, rage dripping from his mouth.

"No no, I said she _implied_ it. Acting like what we did was gross and...wrong. It didn't feel gross or wrong to me," I said, a tear slipping down my cheek, which Adrian wiped away with his finger.

"Me either," he said, his voice soft. "Do you want to go somewhere more private?" I looked up and noticed that some people were staring at us. Feeling incredibly self-conscious, I got up with my boyfriend and we headed outside to the garden area.

I heard my mom ask, "What happened?" to both Jamie and Brigi, but I kept walking. Adrian and I made it outside and sat down on a bench. I curled into his embrace and cried a little harder.

"...Is it because you feel kinda guilty?"

I nodded, trying to catch my breath.

"Ella, try and calm down, OK? You have nothing to feel guilty about. We're in a relationship and we love each other. Yes, the timing was a little risqué, but so what? We hadn't seen each other in weeks."

"That's what I said!"

Footsteps caused Adrian to turn his head, and I looked up to see Mom standing there, wary. "What's going on?"

I scoffed and edged away from her, and as if he knew Adrian held me tighter. Still he said to me, "Why don't you talk to your mom."

Reluctantly, I disentangled from his hold. Adrian got up, didn't say much to my mom and went back inside. I wiped violently at my face, as Mom took Adrian's place on the bench. "Ella."

"What?" Mom raised an eyebrow in my direction, and I grumbled, "I mean, yes, Mother?"

"Take it easy with the biting sarcasm," Mom warned, before moving a strand of hair away from my eyes. "I'd like to talk to you about this morning."

I kept quiet.

"I specifically told you that you were not allowed to stay with him alone in that hotel room. You deliberately disobeyed _and_ took advantage of me after I agreed to have Adrian come down and surprise you. That doesn't sit well with me. At all."

"Mom, I wasn't–"

"I'm not finished. Now I know you and Adrian have been together for almost three years, and I know that that may seem like a long time to you, but it really isn't. The both of you aren't emotionally mature enough yet. If you were, you wouldn't have done what you did." Mom looked at me, her face void of any mirth. "It just wasn't the right time or place."

I released a breath. "...It took me...it took me a _really_ long time to be comfortable enough in my own body to even _consider_ having sex with him."

"I know."

"No Mom, I don't think you do. You're able-bodied. Your body wasn't mutilated from all the surgeries. You don't walk with crutches. You can...you can sleep with Dad any which way you please. You don't have to think about… about whether or not the position will cause your legs to get spastic or start burning, or your hips to throb, or...whatever! You don't have to think about the possibility of your significant other leaving you because the sex would probably be more satisfying with someone else."

"Oh honey," Mom said, reaching for me.

"It's true. So you can stop shaming me now."

"Ella, I'm _not_ shaming you."

"I'm finally able to be close to him," I said. "You making those comments really cheapens it, and I do NOT appreciate that. Sex isn't something that I just…. _do._ Do you understand what I'm saying?" I noticed the tears in Mom's eyes, and something inside of me hurt a little. "I'm sorry for not listening to you and for disrespecting your rule," I said. "But I don't regret it, not for a second. And if that makes me selfish or rude, fine. I'm going back in."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

My legs started shaking the minute we got to Adrian's Subaru Forrester. Wordlessly we climbed into the back of the car and cuddled. I nestled my head against his chest and felt his heartbeat, I shut my eyes and breathed in and out, but my heart wouldn't stop pounding and I couldn't stop trembling.

"Ella, are you OK? You're shaking."

"I'm really anxious..."

"How come?"

"Because I don't want you to go, Lion! You feel so far away from me because you _are_ so far."

"Hey," Adrian said, looking at me. "I may be over six hours away but that does _not_ mean I'm not here with you," he said, resting his hand over my heart. "You're never not in my head, OK? I'm always thinking about you. I'm just a phone call away, Gummy, I promise. A few clicks and we can hear each other's voices." Adrian kissed my temple. "Physically, we might not be in the same place most of the time, but emotionally, we've stayed right in the same spot: in love with each other."

"God, Adrian, don't tell me stuff like that."

"It's true. I'm not being a sap, I'm being honest."

"You're just gonna make me miss you so much more now."

Adrian laughed, exhaling against the top of my head. "Oh, damn I almost forgot." He reached forward to the front seat for a red sweatshirt with the letters PENN written in blue on the front. "I got this for you. Whenever you shiver, you can put it on, and you'll keep warm. And, it's your favorite color."

"Fuck. I love you so much."

"I love you too," he said, before kissing me as passionately as he ever had. "I wish I didn't have to go. Two weeks."

"Two weeks," I repeated, running a hand through his hair. I kissed him over and over, only stopping when somebody knocked on the car window. It was my grandfather. I rolled down the window.

"Come out," Grandpa said, leaning on his cane.

"Why?"

"Because we're going home. Come on, let's go."

Knowing my grandfather wouldn't stop unless we got out of the car, Adrian and I got out. Adrian walked around the back of the car to the curb, and opened his arms. I hugged him tightly. "Don't cry," he whispered. "You'll see me again before you know it."

"Drive safe," I said, my voice cracking. "Please."

-x-x-xx-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

During the car ride home, Ella was deep into listening to music as Peyton sat upfront in the passenger seat, with Lucas behind the wheel. Larry was looking out the window, occasionally telling Lucas to slow down and watch what he was doing.

"You OK?" Lucas asked, looked over and grabbed Peyton's hand.

"Mhm," she replied, far too quickly for Lucas' liking. Peyton exhaled, leaning against the seat. "Ella's upset with me. Have you noticed it's been two and a half hours and she hasn't said a word?"

"I did notice that," Lucas admitted. "Adrian?"

"Mhm. God, what she said to me, Luke..."

"Well, what did she say?"

Peyton shook her head, and lowered her voice. "That I'd never be able to identify with her because of her CP. Basically that I'd never truly understand what it's like for her in terms of exploring her sexuality….she's right, Luke."

Lucas' eyes remained on the road. "Mm."

"I didn't know what to say. I mean, what do I say to that? It broke my heart."

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

After we picked up Riley and Miles, I immediately went up to my bedroom and shut the door behind me. I curled onto my bed, holding my pillow in my arms. I had changed into the PENN sweatshirt, and found a letter Adrian wrote me tucked into the sweatshirt's pouch.

 _Dear Gummy,_

 _I had to sneak write this note in the dark before you woke up. No easy task._

 _I know me being away at school is tough on you. I just wanted to tell you how much I love and appreciate you, and how much our night together meant to me. You've given me the best three years of my life. I don't want you to worry. Every little thing is gonna be alright._

 _Te amo._

 _-Lion_

A knock on the door caused me to hurriedly wipe my face of its tears, and I shoved Adrian's letter into the drawer of my night table. "Come in."

Dad appeared on the other side of the door, carrying a tray.

I smiled wanly at him, and Dad set the tray on the bed, which carried a plate of Oreo cookies and a glass of milk. "I bring goodies," he said, carefully taking a seat on the bed. "Nice sweatshirt."

"Thanks," I said, taking a deep breath. I took a cookie and began to nibble on it.

"Ella…" Dad began. "I want to talk to you about this weekend."

"Mom already did."

"Well I… I wanted to make sure you were okay."

"I'm pretty emotional, Dad."

"That's OK. You can be emotional with me."

I played with the sleeves of my new sweatshirt and thought of the words Adrian wrote to me, and I began to cry again. "I know...I know you know about the whole hotel thing. …Are you disappointed in me?"

"Aw, come on baby. I understand. You both are in love and you really care about each other. I mean I recognize your mother's position that it wasn't the right situation for that kind of thing, but I do understand."

"This long distance thing gets to me, Dad..." I said, my lips quivering.

"I'm sure," Dad replied, taking my hand into his. "Long distance is tough." He crawled into the bed next to me and brought me into his embrace. "Come on now…."

"I wake up and it _hurts_ because he's so far away, learning about himself and exploring how big the universe really is. What if he realizes I'm just a small and insignificant part of it?" I breathed in my father's comforting scent.

"If that does happen, Adrian never deserved you to begin with. Sweetheart, this long distance relationship is going to take a lot of time and effort. But if you're both willing to put in said effort, then every second spent will be totally worth it." Dad cleared his throat, rubbing my shoulder.

"...Does that mean you'll drive me down to Philly sometime?"

Dad hung his head back and laughed in lieu of a reply.

"Remember our calendar? Ideally I would go down the second weekend of every month, and he would come up here the last weekend of the month. So we'd see each other twice a month. But it's flexible," I added upon seeing the expression on my father's face.

"That's a lot of gas money, Ella. It's like a seven hour drive."

"I could take a bus. Or a plane! You don't have to be the one to take me always. And if you do, I'll give you money for gas. I'll save up my allowance. Or I'll get a job….what?"

"Be prepared if you have to alter that schedule. College is _work._ It's not always fun and games and parties; it's work. Period. I just don't want you to be disappointed if Adrian isn't able to see you as often as you both would like. And I know you're busy with school too… but you can't really compare high school and college."

"Gee thanks, Dad. I'm taking four AP's this year."

"I know, I know. I'm super proud and in awe of you." Dad kissed my temple. "And I know that whatever happens, you're going to be alright."

"Thanks," I said, and we lightly bumped foreheads.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

After Dad left my room I tried to fall asleep, until Mom came into the room with Riley and a baby monitor clipped to the waist of her gray sweatpants. I smiled and opened my arms to my little brother. "Hi baby," I said, giving him a kiss. "Come to visit me?"

"Ya!" Riley said, clapping his hands. The sippy cup he was holding fell to the floor, and the juice remained inside. Riley, always affectionate and loving, climbed into my embrace. I wrapped my arms around his little body and smelled his baby powder scent. I began rubbing his back.

"Give Ella a kiss, baby," Mom said. "Make her feel better."

Riley reached up and placed a wet kiss on my cheek. I hugged him tighter and rocked him back and forth. "I love you so _so_ much!"

Mom came on my other side on the bed, and sat next to me. I leaned my head on her shoulder. "Everything will be OK," she said.

"Hope so. I'm just used to having Adrian so close by."

"I know. it's going to be different. And it's going to be an adjustment."

"Yeah."

"Baby?"

"Yeah?"

"You know I love you _so much_ , right?"

"I know."

My phone went off in a beep. A text message from Adrian:

 _Made it to school safely. I love you, and miss you already._

I sent him a selfie wearing the sweatshirt (my mom and Riley included) and we texted each other until Mom and Riley left and I fell asleep.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

 **Loved it? Hated it? Let me know.**


	9. If You're Gone

_Chapter Eight_

If You're Gone  


 _Adrian got into the driver's seat of his car, about to drive off, when he looked up and saw Peyton staring at him through the window. She knocked on it lightly with her hand, and Adrian motioned for her to enter the car and sit beside him._

 _"Hey, did I forget something?"  
_

 _Peyton closed the door and turned to him. "No, I just wanted to talk to you before you left."_

 _"Oh." Adrian edged forward in his seat. "Alright."_

 _"You know, as a mother, you hope and plead and wish that a young man like you enters her daughter's life someday. It happened sooner than I expected, but my wish came true. Adrian, honey, I think you're wonderful. You make Ella happier than she's ever been; you have for a while now, and I thank you for that." Peyton cleared her throat. "I know you may think that I was hard on you both this weekend, and it's not because I don't trust you with my baby. It's not about trust, and it's not about you guys already being intimate. You're both just too young to share a hotel room. Ella can call me a hypocrite; she can say whatever she wants. The truth is, my parents–really, my dad–wasn't around in a way I needed him to be. I relied on others to get me through, and I do not want that for my daughter.."_

 _Adrian swallowed. "I understand. Thanks for trusting me, that really means a lot..." He hesitated, "Can I just say...Ella absolutely adores you, and she really, really cares about what you think. Disappointing you would crush her."_

 _Peyton nodded, tears in her eyes._

 _"…Do you need a hug?" Adrian asked, his question shy but sincere at the same time._

 _Peyton laughed and reached to hug him, kissed his temple twice. "Love you."_

 _Adrian blinked. She'd never said that to him before. "I love you too!"_

 _"Drive safe. Please, please don't speed." Peyton moved to get out of the car._

 _"I wont."_

 _She turned to him, one hand holding onto the door. "Let us know when you get there, OK?"_

 _"I will!"_

 _-x-_

 _Thursday, November 8th, 4:30pm_

Adrian was in his empty dorm room, curled up on his bed like a shrimp under the covers. He'd caught something. Something that was making his stomach double over, making him sweat profusely, and making his body temperature heat up. In between falling asleep he'd reached for his phone and dialed Ella.

 _"Hi baby!" she answered, her greeting light and so oblivious that it was endearing._

"Hey," he said back, his voice heavy and his words drawn out.

 _"What's the matter? You sound sick."_

 _"_ I am sick," he said. "I feel like shit."

 _"Aw, I'm sorry, Lion. Do you feel up to eating? Maybe you can have someone get you soup, or even just broth."_

"I can't even sit up without my head pounding," Adrian said.

 _"Mm. I wish I was there."_

"Me too." He sighed. "I don't think...I don't think–"

 _"You don't think you'll be able to come tomorrow," she finished for him, her words free of contempt, but laced with disappointment. Still, she responded with, "….It's OK."_

"I'm sorry, baby. I really am. It's just a long drive, and I can barely stay awake right now. I dunno how I'd make it down there. I can't fly sick, either."

 _"Of course not. I mean I'm disappointed, but I understand."_

"OK…."

 _"I'm not mad. Just want to make you feel better."_

Adrian coughed into the receiver. "I'll be home for Thanksgiving."

 _"OK. I love you so much, baby. Get lots of rest."_

"I will, and I love you too." They both hung up at the same time, and Adrian fell right to sleep, his sickness knocking him out.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

 _Saturday, November 10_ _th_ _, 2029_

Adrian sat at his desk and was fiddling around with his computer, listening to some music when Margie walked in. "Wow, you're sitting up now. Progress."

Adrian chuckled. "I know." He motioned to what she carried. "What's that?"

"Oh, I brought you some stuff. Herbal tea and–"

"Vicks?" Adrian laughed. "OK."

Margie pointed at him. "Don't laugh. It cures everything. Listen to that stuffy nose you have."

"I know it cures everything. That's why I'm laughing." He took the tea and Vicks into his hands. "Thanks a lot. What's going on with you?"

"Not much. There's a frat party tonight. You wanna go? Or do you not feel up to it?"

Adrian hung his head back. "Frat party, huh?"

"Yeah! What do you think?"

"Not sure," Adrian answered honestly. "I feel alright, but.."

"But what?" she asked. "Come on, it might be really fun!" She pouted at him.

"You're not gonna stop until I say yes, aren't you?"

"Pretty much."

"Who invited you? Rudy?"

Rudolph "Rudy" Peterson was involved in Greek life on campus, and was quickly turning into one of Adrian's good friends. He'd met Margie as well and the two got along. Rudy spent his teen years in Boston when his father got a job there as an engineer, and that's where he lived before moving to Philadelphia.

Margie nodded. "He said he wants you to come, too. _Dude._ The three of us? It'll be great."

"Fine," Adrian said eventually. "OK."

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

 _Sunday, November 11_ _th_ _, 2029_

I was sitting finishing up homework and waiting for Isa to come over to just hang out. Right as I wrote my last paragraph on my English paper, Isa knocked on my bedroom door. "Hey, girl," she greeted, then sat on my bed. "What's going on?"

"Not much," I answered. I pouted, added, "Missing Adrian."

"That's right, he was meant to come this weekend," Isa said. "That's OK, though. You'll see him for Thanksgiving."

"It just–these visits really help me with my anxiety, and it lessens the distance between us, ya know?"

"Anxiety about what?" Isa asked, as she moved to rest on her stomach on my bed, after plopping her shoes on the floor.

"It's a whole thing," I said.

"You can still tell me," Isa replied, sending me a smile for good measure. "You know that; even it takes 20 minutes or an hour."

I took a breath. "I'm just not used to him being so far away, and not being able to see him every day. Walking around at the high school? It's so painful."

"Yeah," she said. "I get that." She cleared her throat. "So, he's sick, huh?"

"Yeah, some virus." My cursor on the computer strayed over to Facebook, not really thinking much of it. Until I scrolled down my news feed and saw a picture that made me stop.

"What's up?" Isa asked, as she got off the bed and looked over my shoulder. We both stared at a picture Adrian was tagged in, by Margie Reyes. The two had their arms around each other, Margie with her arm wrapped around his waist, red Solo cups in their hand. "Well," Isa said. "...He recovered quickly."

"…He told me he couldn't come this weekend because he was sick."

"When did he call you?"

"Thursday."

"Looks like this picture is from last night." She counted on her fingers. "Friday, Saturday….two days."

"….Are you calling bullshit like I am?" I asked, a knot tying up my stomach. "And why does she have her arms around him like that?"

"Don't jump to conclusions," Isa said, her voice gentle. "Maybe he was feeling well enough. And she looks drunk."

"Great," I said, deadpan.

"It's really hard to prove what I think you're thinking by just a picture, Ell," Isa said again. She called me Ell even though my name was short to start with. "Especially a picture like that, I mean they're at a party."

"Yeah, he's at a party when he told me he was too ill to come see me." I turned to her, and she looked at me. "I think I need to call him."

"If it'll make you feel better, do it."

"...Can you stay?"

"You wanna do it now?"

"Well yeah. I don't wanna sit with this." I moved to sit on my bed, picked up my phone and dialed my boyfriend on FaceTime, Isa by my side.

 _"Hi baby," he answered, as he sat in his empty dorm room. "What's up?"_

I was sure to keep Isa out of Adrian's view, and Isa was sure to keep quiet. "Not much. So what'd you do this weekend?"

 _"Well–"_

"Go to any parties?" I wanted to keep my voice even and non-accusatory, but parts of that weened its way through. Isa squeezed my hand. Adrian looked at me, his brows furrowed like they did when he was trying to process something I said that was out of character.

 _"OK. What's wrong?"_

I inhaled. "I saw the picture of you and Margie at the party. I thought you were sick."

 _"...I was. It was a 24-hour virus thing. She insisted on taking me."_

"...Why?"

 _"...Ella, what is this?"  
_

 _"_ 'What is this?' You're 'too sick' to come see me, but you can go to party? What the hell, Adrian?!"

 _"Ella, yes, I was too sick to come see you. It's an eight hour drive."_

"And that's my fault?"

 _"What? I never said it was your_ _ **fault**_ _. I wasn't feeling well enough to go all the way down there. I told you that on Thursday."_

"OK, but you were well enough to go party it up with _Margie?_ Why? You made it sound like you couldn't move when we last talked." He didn't say anything to that, so I went on. "I was really, really counting on seeing you. Then you tell me you're sick, OK, that's fine...but now I see you went and had the time of your life with her."

 _"'Time of my life?' Don't be so dramatic."_

"I'm being _dramatic_ now?! Do you–do you understand how _hard_ this distance has been on me?"

 _"Yes, I know! It's been hard on me, too, OK?"_

"Really? Because it looks like you were just so happy with Margie draped all over you."

 _"For Christ's sake….again?! It's s a fucking picture! What else are you meant to do when people point the camera at you in that situation? You smile! It doesn't mean anything...and I thought we were done with this Margie stuff. She's just my_ _ **friend**_ _. There's nothing there! She's my friend, that's it! Did you see the other pictures? A guy was there. That's our friend Rudy. It wasn't just her and me!"_

"Don't yell at me," I said, tears in my eyes. I wiped them away as they fell. "The point is that you gave me the impression that you were gonna be bedridden all weekend, and not well enough to be out partying."

 _"Well, I felt better come Saturday night, and I went out. What did you expect me to do? I'm not gonna just sit around while my college years fly by."_

"I never ever asked you to do that. It just really hurt to see you with her when you were meant to be with me this weekend," I cried, tears falling too fast for me to make them disappear.

 _Something in his eyes changed. They got softer._ " _Gummy, come on...I would have rather been with you this weekend, too. Trust me. Don't….don't cry."_

With him watching me, I voiced my fears. "Adrian, how is this gonna work if we don't see each other?"

 _"You're acting like this relationship is going to fall apart because I miss_ _ **one**_ _visit. That's crazy. Things come up, that's all."_

"I understand that...but you were dishonest with me."

 _He frowned deeply. "How?! I didn't lie to you–not once have I EVER lied to you in three years," he yelled. "I'm not a liar, and I hate being called one–especially by you!"_

I held my hand out, a plead for him to stop. "I never called you a _liar_! You said you were sick–and then you go out and party all night?!"

 _"I told you, I was better by Saturday, but how was I supposed to know I would be?! Jesus Christ. What am I, not gonna have a life?!"  
_

"You have a life..."

 _"No, I don't," he spoke over me. "I have a schedule."_

"'You have a schedule?'" I repeated in disbelief. "...How do you think that makes me feel?"

He said nothing.

"I can't believe you," I went on, sounding much braver than I really felt. "You go ahead and do this and then twist it around like it's my fault; wow, Adrian." I wiped my tears from my face. "I have to go."

 _"Wait–"_

"I'll see you." I hung up the FaceTime call before Adrian got another word in, and into Isa's arms I crumbled.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 _Monday, November 12_ _th_ _, 2029_

I didn't call or text Adrian for the rest of Sunday, and when the next day rolled around, the school day started and ended, and he called, I decided to answer at the last minute. "Hi," I said, as I sat curled in my reading corner with a good book and my laptop.

" _Hey," he said, his tone solemn and serious. "Can we please talk about yesterday?"_

"I guess."

 _"Ella, look...it was just a picture."_

"I know," I said, as I took a breath. "I know, I just...lately I've been acting crazy..."

 _"I just feel like the idea of me with anyone else behind your back is outrageous. I love you so, so much….how many times do I need to reassure you, baby? Just tell me so I'm prepared."_

"Adrian..."

 _"No, tell me. Do I need to remind you every day? Every hour?"_

"Every hour seems excessive," I joked, but he didn't laugh.

 _"This isn't funny."_

I took another breath. "You shouldn't have to remind me every day or every hour, that's the thing. I know that. Baby…I just miss you so bad...and it's making me act out of character."

" _I miss you too, Ella, but you have nothing to worry about. OK?"_

"OK."

 _"And what I said about having a schedule..."_

"That really hurt my feelings."

"... _I'm sorry. I didn't mean it…."_

"I know..." I said, my voice sounding uncharacteristically meek. He could tell, too.

" _I get to see you in about a week and a half."_

"Can't wait."

Afterwards, when he hung up, I started to cry, in equal parts from sadness and relief.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Right as Adrian hung up the phone with Ella, a knock sounded on his door. "Hey loser," came Margie's voice. She plopped down on his desk chair and noted the look on his face. "Whoa, what's up?"

"Hm? Nothing," Adrian said. "Look, Margie….I had fun the other night, but...can you do me a favor?"

"Sure," Margie said easily.

"Please don't post pictures of you and me on Facebook."

Margie couldn't help but laugh a little. "Oh my God. Really?"

 _"_ Yes. Dude, I'm serious. My girlfriend is very sensitive about that."

"Because of you and me, or because you didn't go back to North Carolina this weekend?"

Adrian's brows furrowed. "…There is no you and me."

Margie waved off his comment. "No, I know _that._ I just meant is she sensitive about it because you were in a picture with me, or is she just pissed at you because you couldn't make your visit?"

"…Both, I guess? I really don't feel comfortable talking to you about this."

"Relax, Adrian. It's not like she's here."

"I know, but...it's our business. Not yours."

Margie raised her hands. "Alright, fine. No more pictures. We can hide it, then."

"Hide _what_?"

"That was a joke, a bad one, apparently. I just meant that we're going to be taking pictures. She can't completely ban us from taking pictures together. That's a little…."

"A little what?" Adrian's eyes hardened.

"Adrian, come on…you're a photographer. You take your camera everywhere."

Adrian stared at her. "I don't want to be made to feel like I have something to hide from her."

Margie shook her head. "You need to lighten up! You said it yourself; there is no you and me. Right?"

"Right."

"So why should a picture of us even matter that much? Friends take pictures with other friends, I mean...come on."

Adrian nodded, ran a hand over his face. The conversation began to shift. "...This is really taking a toll on me." He hadn't really shared that with anyone, not even Ella.

Margie sat up, her ears perked. _Could he be opening up to her?_ "…What is?"

Adrian sighed. "The distance. It's so much…it's so much _pressure_." It was true: he was under an immense amount of pressure either having to drive the eight hours back and forth from Philly to Tree Hill (and paying for gas), or flying (and paying for the plane ticket). Trying to balance that with his first year at an Ivy League institution was really affecting him. He tried hard not to let it show, instead choosing to allay his girlfriend's fears by reminding her that he loved her so much. _That_ was true, too. He did love Ella–beyond reason–but… perhaps he just wasn't as prepared for a long distance relationship as he'd originally thought.

"Mm," Margie said, at a loss for words, with the hopes that he'd continue on.

"I feel like...I feel like it's on my shoulders to make it work–I'm the one that decided to go to college so fucking far away." He cleared his throat. "And it's…I'm _not_ blaming her. I wanted to come here, and we discussed and agreed that I wouldn't make a decision on my future based on the fact that we're together."

"Right," Margie said.

"When I got my acceptance letter, she was so happy for me that she cried," Adrian said, smiled slightly. "I dunno. It's just...really tough. I miss her so much."

Margie nodded. "So, what are you gonna do?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well..." Margie sighed. "Don't take this the wrong way, OK? But...it seems like the relationship is becoming a stresoer for you. I mean...does she know that you failed your midterm exam last month because the weekend before, you went to go see her? Or when you couldn't catch up on your reading that time because that weekend, you went to go see her? Then the professor called you out on it in front of the entire class? And, think about it: she's kind of dictating what can and cannot be posted on your Facebook profile. You basically just tried to tell me that we couldn't even take pictures together." Margie paused a minute. "I know I'm probably the last person on Earth you want to talk about this with, and maybe I'm overstepping my bounds, but–"

"No," Adrian said, and sighed. "It's OK. The truth is... I feel relieved."

"...You do?"

"Yeah. I've been holding it in and putting on a brave face for her, but… it's really impacting my schoolwork. I'm getting anxious. Like if I...if I miss a visit, the world will end. And I'm not saying that she's not understanding, because she is, but I can tell that she's disappointed. It's obvious."

"Mhm." Margie watched him for a minute. "But...you can't–you can't live in fear of disappointing her, ya know? People aren't perfect, including you, and sometimes, sometimes you disappoint the ones you love."

Adrian crossed his legs on his bed. "I don't want to be the person who disappoints her. I want to be the one who makes her happy." He paused, "I dunno how to do that from all the way over here." He looked at his friend in earnest. "What should I do?"

Margie swallowed. "What do you _want_ to do?"

"Fuck," he breathed. "I'm a hypocrite. I buy her a beautiful promise ring, I talk to her about our future together...maybe I was just in denial." Adrian shook his head. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have told you all of that."

"It's OK," Margie said. "Really." She paused. "You look _so_ sad..."

"I am."

"Have you–I mean, have you tried talking to her about this?"

Adrian shook his head. "I can't. She would be heartbroken. I don't want to hurt her."

Margie nodded. "But...Adrian…acting like everything's fine is just going to hurt her more in the end; trust me. If you're unhappy, and it seems like you are...you need to tell her."

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

As soon as I hung up the phone with Adrian, I headed to the bathroom to splash water on my face, and I heard my mother's voice as well as the sound of her footsteps traveling up the stairs. "Ella? Dinner's ready!"

"In here," I called. I looked in the mirror to make sure I didn't look a mess. Not like there was a point anyway; my mom always notices when I'm upset or sad or whatever. I put my hair up in a ponytail with the hair tie that was on my wrist, and turned to face her.

"...What's the matter?" Mom asked, sure enough. "You look like you've been crying."

I shook my head. "I don't really want to talk about it right now. Maybe later."

"You can come to my room after dinner if you want," she offered, took my hand.

I nodded, wiping at my eyes.

Right as Roslyn left for the day, dinner was being served: baked chicken and vegetables. Grandpa Larry was already sitting at the table, a napkin tucked into his collar. "About time you showed up," he sneered at me. "I'm hungry."

"Why don't you just start eating," I said back. "Never stopped you before." Grandpa Larry had a bad habit now of starting to eat before everyone else was settled at the table.

"No fighting please," Mom said. "Everyone help yourselves."

I was quiet at the table, the conversation I had with Adrian playing over and over in my head. I was so immersed in it that I didn't notice someone in my family calling my name.

"Ella, I'm talking to you," Grandpa said, staring at me.

"What is it, Grandpa," i said back, an edge to my voice.

"Pass the bread."

I grabbed the bowl of bread slices that was to my right, and passed it to my grandfather, even though he of course didn't bother saying please and thank you.

"You don't have to slam it," Grandpa said. "What's wrong with you?"

"There's nothing wrong with me," I shouted back. I didn't even notice the tears that fell from my eyes. "What's wrong with you?"

"...Why are you _crying_?" he asked, although it was more like an accusation, like I was doing something I wasn't supposed to. Like having emotions and sentiment and feelings was a fucking crime. I wiped my eyes to get rid of the evidence but it was too late. My parents noticed too.

"Ella, what's wrong?" Dad asked, his question so much more sympathetic than that of Grandpa. "What's happening?"

I hid my face by covering my eyes with my hand. "Nothing."

"Why is she crying?" Grandpa asked again.

"Will you shut the _hell_ up?" I yelled.

"Hey," Mom admonished. "Respect your grandfather."

I pushed back from the table, letting my silverware fall onto my plate. "I'm obviously really upset and he's all up sneering in my face! He needs to learn to back the eff off," I said, leaving out the curse word because I knew my brothers were listening. I grabbed my walker and hobbled out of the room.

`I ended up in my parents' bed, curled in a ball under the covers. I barely heard my father walk into the room. "Ella," he said. "Are you OK?"

"Yep," I said. The bed dipped under my dad's weight as he sat by my feet.

"This wouldn't have anything to do with Adrian, would it?"

I let out a frustrated breath. "We had a fight the other day," I said, as I tried to keep things simple and uncomplicated, yet I knew that never worked.

"About what?"

I shrugged, and the reminder had me crying again. "Just about me being a insecure jealous bitch."

"Hey," he said. "Don't talk like that."

"It's true, Dad. I was never like this before, and then Adrian goes to college and I'm acting insane. I don't recognize myself."

"What about a little more context," he tried. "What…or who… made you jealous?"

I explained everything about seeing the photograph on Facebook, and whom the photo was taken with. "I know they're just friends, but…it just hurts that she gets to spend so much more time with him than I do." I wiped at my eyes and leaned into my dad's arm. "Which is so irrational, I mean I know he's going to meet people in college."

"Yeah. He is." Dad reached over and brushed hair from my face.

"I basically lost it because he got sick and couldn't come visit."

"Things happen, sweetie," Dad said. "It was out of his control. You have to remember that Adrian's doing the best he can with the set up you guys have, and it's not easy for him either, I reckon."

I nodded. "I don't even know why I'm upset; he apologized earlier. I just feel like things are uneasy, Dad!"

"What do you mean? You're afraid because your relationship seems rocky right now?"

"Yeah," I cried, and Dad opened his arms so I could lean into them. "I hate feeling like this; unsure about everything."

"Oh honey. A relationship isn't always perfect; it has its ups _and_ downs. I mean, look at me and your mom." Dad paused, taking a deep breath. Even after three years, his emotional and physical separation from my mother still affected him. "For a long time I thought we wouldn't make it over to the other side, and it was terrifying. I tried to be strong, especially for you, but the voice in my head kept saying it was over; that I screwed up horribly and lost both of you. We made it through, though, and now we're so happy. At least, I think we are." Dad tickled me slightly, and I let out a small laugh. "My point is, if you and Adrian really want to be together, you'll make it through the tougher times." He cleared his throat. "And…. well, if you don't…everything will be OK, baby. I promise."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Another set of jovial knocks on Adrian's dorm room door caused him to roll his eyes from where he lay on his bed. He was thinking hard about what Margie had told him, and a part of him almost resented her for being so fucking spot on. "Nobody's here!"

The door opened, and Rudy walked through the door. Rudy was tall, with a set of broad shoulders and stocky body shape. "What's up, man?" Rudy asked, as he sat in Adrian's black chair. "….You look depressed."

"I'm not," was all Adrian said. He clutched the photograph of Ella in his hands.

"What'cha got?" Rudy asked, moved to see the photograph. "Oh. You fight with her, or something?"

"No." Adrian sat up. "Margie came over earlier."

"And?"

Adrian shook his head, blew out a breath of air. "We just talked. About Ella."

Rudy was surprised. Adrian didn't even talk to _him_ about Ella–he knew she existed, and that Adrian loved her, but that was about it. It was quite clear that Adrian worked hard to ensure his relationship with Ella was kept private. "You did?"

"I know, unusual." Adrian cleared his throat. "I don't want to talk about this, let's go get some food."

Rudy nodded, knew that they weren't going any further with the subject. "Alright."

They both got off the bed and Adrian put on his shoes. He led Rudy out of the dorm room and locked the door behind him. He turned to see his friend heading towards Margie's room. "What are you doing?"

"Seeing if Margie's in, so she can join," Rudy said, an obviousness in his tone.

Adrian could do nothing but watch as Margie answered Rudy's knock, and agreed to go eat with them. All three of them headed to the dining hall, and eventually found a table. Their conversation was kept light and nondramatic. They shared laughs, sometimes ranted about being stressed. At points, Rudy was particularly quiet, but neither Adrian nor Margie thought anything of it.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"So," Rudy began, once they were back in Adrian dorm room. Tyler was out, so it was just Adrian and Rudy, drinking beer. "You wanna tell me what's going on?"

"There's nothing going on," Adrian said.

"Really? Because ever since you and Margie met, you two have been inseparable." Rudy watched Adrian carefully, and he clapped his hands together. "OK. I'm gonna ask you a question."

"...What?"

Rudy looked at his friend in all seriousness. "You fucking her?"

Adrian got the wind knocked out of him a bit. "Jesus, man. No. No, I'm not."

"Because if you were, you could tell me."

"Rudy." Adrian leaned forward. "I have a girlfriend, who I happen to be totally in love with. You know this."

"I had to ask, man," Rudy defended. He took a long sip of his Beck's. "…Have you considered fucking Margie? Because she's sexy as all hell."

"No!" Adrian yelled. "Christ, she's my _friend_. What the hell is the matter with you?!"

"What?" Rudy asked. "Dude, you've had to have thought about it." He pointed at Adrian and added, "She's so into you."

"No she's not."

Rudy laughed. "Yes, she is." He cleared his throat. "But if you're telling me that you love your girl, and you've never once thought about sleeping with Margie, then I honestly believe you."

"I love my _girlfriend,_ OK _?_ I have since I was 15. Nothing's ever going to change that."

Rudy nodded. "Fine. You still haven't told me that you don't think about having sex with Margie, though."

Adrian shook his head at his friend. "There's something wrong with you, dude."

"Relax. I'm just being real with you. I see tension there. Adrian, the first time you two met, she was in a _towel_. Come on! Tonight at dinner? Forget it. She was all over you."

"What…are you seriously encouraging me to cheat on my girlfriend?"

"I never said that," Rudy said, always quick-witted.

Adrian buried his face in his hands. "I'm in a relationship with somebody I love and respect. And what–I told you about my mom and that guy when I was in high school, and you go ahead and ask me this shit?"

"Look, dude, all I'm saying is, Margie wants you. Bad."

"Even if she does, I'm not gonna reciprocate and act on it," Adrian said seriously. "Besides that, I'm telling you, there's nothing going on with us. Why does everyone think that there is?!"

"Adrian. Don't be dense, man."

He held up his hand. "Can we talk about something else?"

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

 _Tuesday, November 20_ _th_ _, 2029 4:00pm_

Lucas stood on the sidelines in the gym at the high school, shouting orders to his new team of Ravens. "What's so funny?"

"You never needed me, bro."

Lucas turned to his new assistant coach, Antwon "Skills" Taylor, and furrowed his brows. "What are you talking about?"

Not long after Lucas and Peyton renewed their wedding vows two years ago, Lauren and Skills both decided that they missed their hometown and the people they loved far too much to stay on the West Coast. So, they moved back home for good, and Skills worked for the LA office remotely. Oh, and Lauren was pregnant again.

"Look at you, laying down the law. You got this team in line."

"I still need you, man. Come on, you and me? We'll win State with our eyes closed."

"That's true, very true." Skills motioned to the gym entrance with his chin. "Your wifey's here."

Lucas turned to see Peyton pushing Miles in a stroller and holding Riley's hand.

"Daddy!" Riley let go of his mother's hand only to run to his father. Lucas bent down on his haunches and allowed Riley to run into his arms.

"Hey, buddy! Come to see Daddy's practice?"

"Ya!" Riley nodded emphatically, and all the high school boys took the opportunity to stop and breathe or drink water or smile at the cuteness that was little Riley Louis Scott.

"Soon that's gonna be you one day," he said, kissed his son's forehead and lifted him into his arms.

"I thought we were gonna wait until he was two before we introduced him to the game?" Peyton asked, an amused look on her face.

"Well, his second birthday _is_ in less than a month, my love," Lucas said, before grinning and kissing his wife on the mouth. "Hi."

"Hi," she said back, ran her hand down his chest. She watched as he kissed his younger son on his little forehead. "Miles couldn't fall asleep so I thought if I took them for a little drive that would do the trick. Then they woke up and we were right by the school so I thought we'd say hello to Daddy."

The way she said those last still had his heart racing. "Eventful day off for you, huh?"

"Always," Peyton said, and they laughed. "Good to see you back in the gym, Skills."

"I never left, P Scott." He made a funny face in Riley's direction and the boy thought it was just hilarious.

"Ella's in the tutor center?" Peyton asked, lowering her voice so only Lucas could hear.

"She should be, yeah," Lucas replied, sneaking his arm around his wife's waist. "Was gonna go get her after this, maybe we can go home together? Larry's at home with Roslyn, right?"

"Mhm. God bless her; I don't know how she can stand him," Peyton joked, and Lucas chuckled. Riley began to squirm so Lucas let him down, leaving him under his watchful eye, as well as that of Skills.

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

I was working with Sheff in the Tutor Center, although these last few minutes we just talked. "You look happy," he said, smiled.

"Yeah," I said, beginning to blush. "I'm seeing Adrian tomorrow, so."

"That's exciting."

"Very."

Sheff opened his mouth to say more, but a familiar pit patter of feet broke our conversation. I looked up to see my little brother standing in the doorway, Mom's hand attached to his hand.

"Hi baby!" I opened my arms so he could run into them and I lifted him off the floor. "What're you doing here? Come to say hi?"

Riley nodded, and looked at Sheff with those big beautiful blue eyes. Sheff waved at him with his pencil in hand, and Riley grinned.

"I'm almost done," I told my mom, who stood by the water cooler. "I don't have to close up tonight."

"Great! We can wait outside. Come here, my baby boy." Mom opened her arms and took Riley from me. I missed his warmth right away.

"Ten minutes," I told them, and turned to Sheff.

"Your brother's really cute," he said, smiled at me.

"Thanks," I said. "You should see him and Miles together. It's a cuteness overload."

Sheff laughed, "I bet." I turned back to Sheff's assignment but felt his eyes on me all the while.

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

 _Wednesday, November 21st, 2029 4:00pm_

When I entered Jesse's apartment and saw Adrian standing there, I engulfed him in a hug. I thought nothing of the way he held me extra tight, close to his body. I didn't even notice Jesse leave or hear the door close.

"When's the boot coming off?" Adrian asked, as he ran his hands up and down my arms.

"Soon," I said. "Soon."

Adrian led me to sit down on the couch in the living space. "What do you want to do? Are you hungry?"

"A little." I turned to see him head to the kitchenette.

"Want a snack?" He opened the door to the pantry and rummaged through it. "Pretzels?"

"That's fine." Adrian brought me a glass of water as well, watched as I began munching on the pretzels. "Do you want some?"

"I'll take one."

After, he reached down to remove my boot and I sighed in relief, let him put my legs in his lap. I looked at him, and he looked at me. "I missed you, Lion," I whispered, holding out my hand for him to take. I craved being close to him, craved feeling his lips on mine and his weight on me, his hands roaming my body–clothed or otherwise. The distance shoved between us was enough for me to want him so bad I couldn't think straight.

"I missed you too," he said, his voice gentle like it was when he was being sincere. He took my hand and I pulled him towards me, and we both fell back into the couch. When his lips met mine they were soft and wet, his tongue feeling the same when it slipped in my mouth. He ran his hands down my front and up my shirt, only breaking away to ask, "Is your leg OK?"

"Mhm," I said. The tempo picked up, our hands moving faster, our kisses more urgent and passionate and in the moment because we just needed each other _now._ He pulled away, hooked his arm under my knees and picked me up. "What're you doing?"

"We're going to my room," he said, and he carried me across the floor and into his bedroom, laying me down in the middle of his bed. He shut the door behind him and unbuttoned his cotton button down. He got on his bed, on his knees, and began to undress me, starting with my tee shirt and jeans and ending with my bra. When he hovered over me, leaned against my chest, I felt warm. "You sure your leg's okay?"

"It's fine." I ran my hands through his shorter hair. "...I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"The whole thing with the picture. I overreacted; it wasn't fair to you."

"I would've taken some time like this with you over a party with anyone else any day." We kept kissing until we couldn't breathe, and cuddling evolved into talking. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Are you happy?"

"What?"

"Like in this relationship. Are you happy?"

The color of his eyes was an amber shade, deep and beautiful. "Of course I am. I mean, the distance is not ideal, but it is what it is. I can't hold you back from going to your dream school." I stared at him. "Why...are you unhappy?"

"I didn't say that," he replied. "I just wish we weren't so far apart."

"Me too, baby...me too. We're together now, though."

"Yes we are," he said. _Yes we are,_ he said to himself.

"Are you sure you're okay?" I asked. "You're quieter than usual, Lion."

"I just…" he heaved a breath. "I just can't seem to get school out of my head, that's all. Everything I have to do is weighing on me."

I edged closer to him. "Maybe I can distract you, then." I kissed him, pressing with the right amount of pressure and pulling him toward me by the belt loops on his jeans. "Hm?"

"Please, baby," was all he said, his breath tingling the skin on my face as our lips met again.

"What about school is stressing you out?"

"The whole thing," he said, looking at her, for once wishing she could read his mind. "College is no joke."

"I know you can do it," I said. "Adrian, you're _so_ smart."

"Thanks for always being there for me."

"…Baby, you're acting really cryptic and worrying me," I said, as I took his hand.

"I'm OK."

"You know if there's something on your mind, you could tell me; right?"

"I know. It's just for once I want everything to clear out. You know?"

"Yeah," I whispered. I edged closer to him, squeezed his hand. "What can I do?"

He leaned in and kissed me, and that's how the minutes passed us. Our embrace became more urgent, more pressing, and soon all our clothes had been shed and we were making love. Adrian was even gentler than usual. I could tell in how he held me, how he pressed his lips against mine, and how he moved against me, allowing me to grasp and savor every single second.

"I love you so much, Ella," he said. "You know that, right?"

I breathed out, _l love you, too_ and let it fade into the thick air between us.

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

 _Thanksgiving Day 2029_

Thanksgiving was being held at my house this year, and Uncle Derek and Aunt Lisa as well as my uncle Nathan and his family were invited. Aunt Brooke and Uncle Julian decided to spend the holiday out in Los Angeles. Adrian had to spend the holiday with his mom, and would spend Black Friday with his dad. As for my parents, they worked double time in getting the house ready, cleaning and cooking and organizing. Grandpa Larry helped where he could: whether it was to sweep the floors, or set the table for dinner.

"Why don't you help out?" Grandpa asked me; actually it was more like a demand. He threw the forks in my direction. "Here."

"Jesus, Grandpa. You don't have to throw them at me." I picked up the forks, and turned to Mom–who gave me a look of warning not to start an argument with my grandfather today of all days.

"Yeah, Dad. Don't throw them like that, that's my nice silverware."

I pointed a fork in Grandpa's direction. "You chip a plate from her fancy china collection, Mom's gonna give it to you."

"At least I was helping and not being lazy like you." Grandpa turned to my parents and said, "Your daughter's spoiled."

I scoffed. "OK, Grandpa."

"Alright you two," Dad said. "It's Thanksgiving."

"Thank you," Mom said. She turned to Grandma Karen, who could only laugh in lightheartedness. "Dad, stop picking on Ella."

Despite our bickering, I helped Grandpa Larry set the table, when the doorbell rang.

"That must be Andy, Lily and Andre," Grandma Karen said, wiped her hands on her apron. "I'll get it."

Sure enough Grandma's suspicions were correct. Lily, Andre, and Andy had arrived. "Happy Thanksgiving!" Lily greeted the room, and Andre did the same. She went around to greet me, Grandpa, and my parents. "So good to see you! Where are my nephews?"

"Sleeping–" the baby monitor in the pocket of Mom's apron then went off with Miles' cries. "Never mind," Mom said, and Lily laughed. "I'll be right back."

Mom returned with both Miles and Riley (who woke up from Miles' crying) all dressed for Thanksgiving dinner. Dad had gone up to shower and change as well, somewhere in between me greeting Lily and catching up with her about her new life in New York City.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"Peyt!"

"Hm?" Peyton pushed open the door to the master bedroom to find Lucas in the midst of changing into his nice clothes. His slacks were on, his white pressed dress shirt unbuttoned. "Here," she said, and she moved to help button his shirt, as she'd done so many times before in their years together. When she finished, she kissed him, her arms around his neck. He'd just finished shaving and applying cologne, and smelt too damn good to resist. "You look so handsome."

He smiled in response and then kissed her, moving his hands to her waist. "Happy Thanksgiving, baby."

"Happy Thanksgiving," she whispered back.

Lucas moved hair away from her beautiful face, tapped her nose with his forefinger. "You know I'm thankful for you every day, right?"

"...Is that still gonna be true when you find out that I had Riley wear the same outfit as you?"

Lucas hung his head back and laughed. "No you didn't."

"I did," Peyton said, biting her lip. "Come on, it's going to be so cute!"

Lucas groaned, let his wife take his hand and lead him out of the room once he was all dressed and ready. "Kinda corny."

"Oh stop it. You have your own clone! What's not to like?"

Lucas paused, considered it. "That's true. What's the deal with Thanksgiving, anyway? You get all dressed up just to sit in the dining room."

When all three of them returned downstairs, Nathan and Haley had arrived with the kids, as well as Jamie and Bridget. Jamie, Ella and Lily were busy catching up, and Matthew sat playing with his new cell phone.

Haley immediately began fussing over Miles, taking him into her arms and cooing over how adorable he looked. She greeted Lucas and Peyton with kisses on the cheek each. "Happy Thanksgiving!"

Nathan clapped his brother on the back. "Happy Thanksgiving, Luke. Peyton's got you coordinating with Riley, huh?" he smirked, a devious look in his eye.

Lucas rolled his eyes. "Shut up, man." He snuck up on Riley from behind and gave him several blow kisses on the side of his neck, and Riley erupted into wonderful fits of laughter. "You look just like me!" he told his son, who just smiled. "Get ready for lots of pictures, buddy."

Riley latched onto his father, leaning his head on his shoulder. Lucas kissed his temple, squeezed him tight and vowed to remember what it felt like to carry Riley, like he'd carried Ella all those years ago–although to him it felt like yesterday. Soon time would zoom past and Riley would be 17 and applying to colleges just like Ella was.

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

A conversation between me and Mattie had just simmered down, and Mom called my name and beckoned for me to follow her into the other room.

"What's up?" I asked, hobbling along in my boot with my walker. "You know there's an extra plate setting in the dining room, right?"

"I know," Mom said, too easily for me not to notice. "I invited Uncle Mark."

Uncle Mark Sawyer, Grandpa Larry's staunch conservative younger brother, was not exactly my favorite person in the world. He's lived in Virginia and really had no stake in our lives until Grandpa Larry got sick. The, he magically appeared here and there. Even then, though, he didn't show nearly as much concern as my aunts, my uncles...my mom's real family.

"You did? Ugh," I said. "...Why?"

"Because he's in town and because he's my uncle," Mom said, as though it was the easiest answer in the world.

"Yeah, who has had zero interaction with you for most of your life. Why should we invite him over for a familial holiday?"

"I'm doing it for my dad," Mom said, in a way that bore no argument. "You know how he adores him, especially since the stroke."

 _...Yeah, I don't know why._ "...Fine," I said. "Do I have to talk to him?"

"…Well at least say hello," Mom replied. "What are you gonna do–ignore him?"

"I was planning on it, yes," I answered. I shifted my weight with the boot on. Thankfully, I only had a couple more days with it. After the boot came off, it was time for extensive physical therapy. "Can I go now?"

"Don't be fresh," Mom warned.

I turned from her and made my way back to where our company was, dinner just moments away. "Dad," I said, and Dad turned from a chat with Jamie.

"You OK?" Dad asked, ushered me to sit next to him on the couch.

"Did you know that _Uncle Mark's_ coming?" I whispered, aware that Grandpa Larry might hear from across the room.

"I did," Dad said, and then he couldn't hide his cringe. "Not my idea."

"What are we supposed to do?"

"Nothing," Dad answered. "Honey, this is for your grandfather. You don't have to talk much to Uncle Mark if you don't want to. Just be polite when necessary."

"But what if," I leaned close to my dad, and he leaned close to me to hear. "What if he mentions politics? Every Thanksgiving dinner is incomplete without mention of the current state of our nation's politics." If it wasn't already obvious, I was raised by two liberals–and my stances are liberal in and of themselves. Tree Hill is, as I like to say, "a blue dot in a red state." And let's just say that between Grandpa and his younger brother, Larry was the liberal one.

Dad chuckled a bit. "Steer clear of the subject if you can. If he brings it up, then..well, I won't ever tell you not to stand by and defend what you believe in. Just don't get nasty about it. …Or you can do what your mom does and leave the room," he joked.

I laughed. "Right. Thanks, Dad," I held out of my fist, and he did the same, then kissed my forehead. Then, the doorbell rang. We looked at each other.

"I got this one," Dad said. When he got up, Jamie took his place.

"What's good?" Jamie asked, as he clutched a beer in one hand.

I frowned. "I think that's my mom's uncle Mark," I said.

"...Who's that?" Jamie whispered, and I had to hold in my laughter, even though it wasn't really funny.

"Exactly. After all this time, he's decided to magically appear, suspiciously, after Grandpa's stroke. He's an ass."

"Ah."

I patted Jamie's arm. "Seriously, don't even mention politics or anything remotely left."

"What makes you think I'm going to talk about politics?"

"It's Thanksgiving, it's bound to come up," I whispered. I heard Uncle Mark's voice as he came through the door and towards where we were sitting. "...Remember Thanksgiving three years ago, when I had an outburst and told everyone my dad left my mom?"

"Yeah," Jamie said, his eyes directed at the threshold of the doorway just like mine were.

"...It's about to get _so_ much worse."

Uncle Mark walked into the room, taller than I remembered when I saw him last, which was God knows how long ago. Every time he supposedly visited Grandpa Larry in the hospital, I wasn't there. Only my parents saw him a few times before this–I guess Mom was keeping his frequent visits in the family.

"Hi Uncle Mark," Mom said, emerging and looking fabulous.

"Peyton, how are you," Uncle Mark greeted in return. His hair had a lot more gray in it than I remember, too. "Thanks for the invite."

"Mark!" Grandpa Larry emerged too, all handsome in his nice button down and slacks that Mom made him wear. He gave her a hard time–he gives her a hard time about everything now–but he did wear it. Grandpa's grin at his younger brother was one that was hard to miss.

"Larry, Happy Thanksgiving," Uncle Mark said, clapping Grandpa on the back. "Looking good."

Larry laughed. "Thank you, thank you."

"Can I get you something to drink, Mark?" Dad asked, after he hung up Uncle Mark's coat in the closet.

"Scotch, please, neat."

Soon after, Grandma and Mom announced that dinner was ready and that everybody should head to the dining room. I deliberately sat next in between Lily and Jamie, and made funny faces at Miles. As drinks were served and the turkey was brought out, conversation went in and out. Uncle Mark and Grandpa reminisced, but I only got more and more annoyed.

 _Where was Uncle Mark when Grandma Anna died?_

 _Where was Uncle Mark when Grandpa wasn't around and Mom was alone?_

Still though, I had to maintain my composure. Until…

"So, Ella, what colleges are you looking into?" Uncle Mark, despite being an ass, had impeccable table manners. He sat up straight, napkin on his lap, ate with a fork and knife. Grandpa Larry by contrast, almost never used a knife.

Most of the table, which included Uncle Derek and Aunt Lisa, turned to me. I blushed at the attention. "Um.. well I'm applying to Williams…. Stanford… for some reason I'm drawing a blank, sorry."

"What's your top choice?"

"Brown," I said. "Due for another campus visit soon, right Mom?"

"Yes," Mom said, sipping her water.

"Brown. That's quite the liberal school," Uncle Mark commented, as he adjusted his tie.

 _Here we go._ "Yes well, I think it fits," was all I said. I didn't catch the look on both Lily and Jamie's faces.

"Really, why is that?"

"I think I'll really be challenged there academically, I like the location, and...I just think I'd really fit in."

"OK. But how come?"

I _hated_ to be put on the spot. I felt myself getting pushed. So naturally I pushed back a bit. "Are you only asking me this because Brown is a very liberal place?"

The whole table got quiet. Real quiet. "I was just curious," Uncle Mark replied. "But since you brought it up, _do_ you want to go Brown for that reason?"

I made eye contact with my dad. He sent me an encouraging glance from where he sat. I swallowed. "Partly, yes."

"So you're a liberal. That's how you affiliate politically."

"Yes."

Uncle Mark nodded. "I'm curious to hear your thoughts on our current political climate, if you were so inclined."

"Right now?"

"Why not now?" he challenged. "For instance. You say you want to go to Brown. That's a very expensive institution. Better have your parents start saving up, since that democrat that will be in office will run us into the ground. I worked years and years and now I won't be able to afford to have a burger at McDonald's. I'd like to be able to keep a few dollars in my pocket to have a beer or two with friends."

I swallowed. "Interesting how having a beer or two with your friends is more important than paying extra taxes. Perhaps you'd think twice about that statement if you lived in a country where there were no taxes or central government."

"I do enjoy beers with friends very much. I know people who can only afford a beer or two for fun. Perhaps you can allow them to have that much fun."

Mom cleared her throat. "Are you forgetting what 'that democrat' will be inheriting with our current economy?"

"Peyton, maybe if you did your research you would think differently–"

 _"Do my research?"_ Mom asked, and my ears perked. "First of all, you don't have to be so condescending. Second of all, you've assumed before that I make no money just because I am also a liberal. That's not the case at all. So maybe you should do your research!"

A smirk appeared on Uncle Mark's face and I wanted to slap it off.

"Excuse me for a minute. I forgot a dish in the kitchen," Mom said, before getting up from the table. I followed, with Dad right behind us. "Unbelievable," she told Dad, once we were in the kitchen and out of earshot.

"Still feel good about inviting him?" I asked, and Mom glared at me.

"Ella," Dad said.

"Sorry," I said. "He acts like he can't afford a burger at McDonald's when I overheard him telling Grandpa that he spent 4,000 dollars cutting down trees in his yard."

"Peyt, just take a breath. You did good in there."

A smile smile played on Mom's lips as she nodded. "So did you." She motioned to me.

"Yeah, well..." I said. "Any ideas how we can divert the discussion away from politics? What about your writing, Dad?"

"That's a possibility. Come on, we don't want to be rude," Dad ushered Mom and me out of the kitchen once she grabbed the platter. On his way out, he whispered to me and said, _proud of you._

Once we were seated in the dining room, Uncle Mark began asking me questions again. "What do you want to do, Ella? After college, of course."

I swallowed. "Actually, I was thinking I'd pursue becoming a writer."

Uncle Mark began laughing, and not the gracious kind. "You're not going to make any money."

I shook my head. "In case you missed it, Uncle Mark, my dad's a writer, and does pretty well for himself. Him and my mom both do actually. How do you think we got this beautiful home? Besides, it's not about the money."

"OK," Uncle Mark replied, that stupid smirk on his lips again.

"So, Mark, remind us what you do?" Aunt Haley asked, and finally the spotlight was taken off me.

"I'm an engineer and I work for the government," Uncle Mark replied. "This food is delicious, by the way, Peyton."

"Thank you," Mom replied, as she smoothed out Riley's hair.

Thanksgiving Dinner continued somewhat without incident, as I was gratefully involved in conversation with Lily, Andre and Jamie. Soon dessert was brought out with coffee, and the company dispersed into the sitting room.

"Ella plays piano, Mark," Grandpa Larry said, as he sat next to his brother.

"Really? What kind, jazz?" Mark asked, as he sat with his coffee.

I nodded. "Jazz, contemporary, classical here and there."

"Play something," Grandpa Larry said.

I immediately blushed. "Oh, I don't–"

"That's a great idea," Mom chimed in, sent a smile my way.

"You seem embarrassed," Uncle Mark noted. "Why?"

"I don't...particularly like playing for people. I mostly play when I'm alone."

"Hm," Uncle Mark said. "That's not clever." He motioned to my family. "Playing for us is the only way you'll get over the fear, believe me. Why don't you give it a go?"

I looked to my parents, who looked right back at me. Dad sent me the same encouraging glance he did earlier.

"Ok," I said, and headed to my upright piano. I sat on the stool. "What do you guys want to hear?"

"How about any classical pieces you know?" Uncle Mark said, as he settled in to listen.

I nodded, and began to play the first piece I knew that came to mind.

Afterwards, Mom took a picture of Uncle Mark with Grandpa, and then I overheard them chatting. "My dad's over the moon to have you here, Uncle Mark."

Uncle Mark laughed again. "I see that."

"I hope you'd consider spending more time with him."

Uncle Mark nodded. "He is my brother."

I watched, in awe of how Mom could remain so gracious and seemingly unaware of the past few months and Uncle Mark's lack of engagement.

-x-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-x-

That night, as the company left and as Riley and Miles were put to sleep, I went back to my bedroom, changed into sweats and a sweatshirt, and called Adrian.

 _"Hey," he said._

"Hey. You're not going to believe what happened."

 _"What?"_

"My uncle Mark came over."

 _"Yikes."_

"I know. Inevitably we got into a heated discussion about politics and he was acting all aggressive about it, it was so obnoxious. Like what about the other people who just wanted to enjoy the dinner and each other's company? Ugh."

 _"Sounds like there were some fireworks."_

"Yeah. Are you OK? You sound bummed out."

 _"Just tired."_

"You sure?"

 _"Yeah."_

"How was your Thanksgiving?"

 _"Pretty boring," he said. "Nothing special really."_

"Mm. We're still hanging out on Saturday, right?"

 _"Yeah."_

"OK. Well, I'll let you go. See you soon, baby."

 _"See you, sweet dreams." Adrian's voice vanished, and not thinking anything of it, I shut off my light and went to sleep._

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

 _Saturday, November 24_ _th_ _, 2029_

That Saturday it rained all day, so Adrian and I just stayed in my room and watched movies. I noticed he wasn't talking as much in between scenes (Adrian was the type to get really into films), and was acting just a bit moody, which was unlike him.

"Are you OK? You're so quiet!"

Adrian paused the movie. "Ella," he said. "Can we talk?"

I knew right away, something wasn't right. "What's the matter?"

Adrian inhaled, and his whole body began to shake. "I just..." he grabbed my hand and entwined our fingers. "Being without you every day has been so hard. You're still at Tree Hill High, I'm at UPENN...and the life I had just isn't mine anymore."

"OK…so what are you saying?"

"I'm saying…." Adrian cleared his throat, looked me in the eyes. "I'm saying I think we should take a break."

My breath hitched in my throat, my heart plummeted into my stomach. "Wait..."

"I'm not saying we break up, I'm just thinking we could use some time away from each other."

"More than the time away between us now? You're not making any sense."

Adrian ran his free hand over his face. "Ella..."

"No, explain it to me," I demanded, my voice hard and pointed–my words broken up by the tears in my eyes. "I don't understand."

"You have your life and I have mine now. You can focus on school, and I can focus on school."

"What...I don't want...I don't want that. I can focus on school with you in my life. Why does it have to be one or the other?"

"I don't want to hurt you..." Adrian said, slouched over as he pleaded to me. "You're pushing me into a corner."

"That's bullshit," I said, and my curse made him flinch. "You have something to say, Adrian, then say it to my face."

"The distance has been really hard on me."

"Well what about me!" I shouted at him. "Recovering from surgery, applying to colleges, dealing with my grandfather, and all the while I'm missing you?"

"I know, I know..."

"Do you?" Tears fell silently down my face, and I wiped them with my thumb. "…Is it because of _her?"_

"Who, Margie?" Adrian stood up. "No. No, Ella it's NOT because of her. I wouldn't do that to you." Adrian took my hand again, and I let him. "I love you. You know I love you. And I know the distance is hard on you, too… I just don't want to end up saying or doing something I regret later. Let's just take a break… and if it's meant to be, it'll be."

"What...what happened to the boy who gave me a promise ring, and who was telling me all about the future he saw for us! You think we're gonna get that future if we end things?"

"No, I'm not saying we end things. I don't want to break up, I just want to put things on hold for a bit."

"Why? Because I'm getting in the way of your college experience?"

"No, you're not–I didn't say that. Don't put words in my mouth, alright?"

"Don't talk to me like that," I bit back.

"Like what?"

We'd never once spoken to each other this way, and it was making me physically ill. "Like you're a condescending jack hole."

Adrian shook his head, stared at me. "You know what, maybe I should go."

"No, you don't get to leave me here. You don't just leave and _not_ talk through it with me, who the fuck does that?"

"I'm trying to explain it to you, but you're not accepting it."

"Um, you've had time to process and think about it and I've just learned of this. How the hell did you think I was going to react?" I wiped the tears from my eyes. "Why didn't you tell me you were so unhappy?"

He said nothing at first. "It's just a break."

 _"Just_ a break?" I stared hard at him. " _Who_ are you right now?"

"Ella, come on, maybe this will be the best thing for us."

"Best thing–"

"Yes! Yes, the best thing. There won't be all this pressure–"

"Pressure? Since when do you see me as 'pressure?'"

"Can you let me talk?!" Adrian sighed, clearly frustrated. "That's not what I meant."

"OK, well then what did you mean?" I raised my brows, glared at him. "Is this because you feel I'm keeping you chained and caved in, so you're not free to date other girls?"

 _"No. Jesus..._ I already told you it's NOT about any other girl! Including Margie, so don't even go there."

"What does _that_ mean?"

"it doesn't mean anything! You're building up a narrative in your head that doesn't exist!"

"Ugh," I said, raked my fingers through my hair. "I really wasn't expecting this," I cried, stared hard at him. "You were this unhappy the whole time and you didn't tell me. You led me to believe that everything was OK, and _good. Why?_ "

"Ella...Ella, I wasn't pretending. You make me so happy, it's just...it's just lately I feel like a lot of pressure is on me to make this work. I'm the one making the drive or flight down here every visit–"

"Yeah, because I just had _surgery!_ That's _not_ my fault, how dare you try and blame me for that?"

"I wasn't...will you _stop?_ I'm trying to fucking explain it!"

"Fine, go ahead, then!" I yelled back. He took a deep breath.

"I wasn't expecting the distance to be so difficult; the pressure is _a lot_. I don't think I can handle this. We're going in separate directions right now."

"This sounds more like a break-up to me."

"No," he said, his voice firm, solemn, sad. "It's not. I just need...I just need to breathe."

I started sobbing, and I moved away when he tried to touch me. _You need to breathe? Without you I can't._

He swallowed so loud I heard it. "This has nothing to do with love, OK? I love you. It's NOT about me falling out of love with you or anything like that. Please believe me, Gummy."

I held up my hand. " _Do not_ call me that."

He nodded tersely, and I knew there was something lodged between us now–something deep and vast, irreversible. "Alright." Those two minutes where we sat in silence felt like an eternity. I watched as he eventually got up from my bed. "I think I should get going."

I stared at him. "If you want to go, you should go. I'm not going to chase after you; this isn't a movie."

He nodded, shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. He looked at me with those gorgeous eyes. "Can I hug you?"

I held out my hand. My voice started to break. "No. Please...please don't," I pleaded. _Please don't go,_ was what I really wanted to say, as a paralyzing fear began to overtake me.

"OK…." he said, and his eyes got soft and vulnerable. "Ella, I..."

I inhaled sharply, a sign that I could not handle anymore.

He nodded, and held up his hands. "Alright. I'll go."

I made an effort to sit up straight. I watched, unable to do anything, as he walked out of my room and out of sight. Only then did I break down and start to cry uncontrollably.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-


	10. Broken

**Hey everyone, I feel like it's been forever! Please review so I know you're still out there and (hopefully) enjoying the story.**

 _Chapter Nine_

Broken

 _Sunday November 25th, 2029_

When the clock hit 11:30am that Sunday and Ella still wasn't downstairs for brunch, Peyton grew concerned. She decided to leave Lucas to serve the boys and Larry and headed to her daughter's room.

"Ella?" she called, knocked on the door once and opened it. She noted Ella's form underneath her duvet cover, curled into a ball. She sat on the edge of the bed, put her hand on her daughter's waist. "Wake up, sleepyhead." After a moment, Ella turned to face her mother, and thus revealed the pile of used crumpled tissues. "...What's the matter?"

-x-x-x **-EGS** -x-x-x-

Even though I had cried what felt like all night and it knocked me out, seeing my mother staring down at me with all that concern and love had me crumbling all over again.

"...What's the matter?"

I took a deep, shuddering breath. "Adrian..."

"What?" Mom asked, leaned close to me. "Baby, I can't understand anything you're saying."

"Adrian wants to take a break!" I cried, covered my face with my hands. "He told me last night before he left."

"Oh honey," Mom lamented, immediately trying to comfort me by smoothing the hair from my face. "Ella, OK; I want you to take a deep breath."

I complied, but it felt like someone was ripping out my lungs.

"Do you feel like telling me what happened?"

"I….can't," I stuttered, leaned into my mother's embrace.

Mom brought me close and began to rub my back. "Do you want to come downstairs and eat something? Why don't we do that."

"...I can't go down like this, it'll upset Riley," I sobbed. "Grandpa will make fun of me!"

"No he won't," Mom assured me, kissed the crown of my head. "I won't let him. Nice deep breaths."

Once I wiped my face and put my hair up in a messy bun, Mom put the boot on my left leg and we made our way downstairs.

"There she is," Dad said, as he stood by the stove. "I made some French toast." He didn't notice the brave face I was putting on, and how I really wanted to be alone but sat at the kitchen table anyway.

But of course, my grandfather was particularly observant. "What's the matter with you?"

"Dad, OK, please stop," Mom said, held up her hand. "Would you like some French toast, baby?"

"Sure," I said. I grabbed tissue that I left in the pocket of my robe and dabbed at my eyes quickly, before anyone saw.

I didn't notice my mom reach for her phone and text somebody, and I didn't notice that that somebody was actually my dad, whose phone buzzed a moment later.

"I gave you some blueberries and powdered sugar," Dad said, placed the plate in front of me. I grabbed a fork and started picking at my breakfast. Though delicious, the food was sticky and my stomach lurched. The conversation I had with Adrian last night kept playing and playing in my head. So, after just a few bites I put the fork down. "That's all you're gonna eat?" Dad asked, and I detected the softness in his voice a mile away.

I turned to my mom and asked, my throat hoarse, "Did you tell him?"

"Honey," Mom tried. "I didn't want your dad to get worried when he saw you like this and didn't know the reason for it, that's all…." Mom brushed the hair from my face.

"What's wrong with her? Why're you crying?" Grandpa demanded, syrup leaking from his mouth, powdered sugar on his lips.

"You see?!" I said, my face began crumbling in sadness.

"Dad, shh," Mom said, gave him a scathing look. "Enough!"

"Larry, why don't you just finish up your breakfast, and then you can play with the boys."

I cut my French toast into tiny pieces and shoved it down my throat.

"Baby, I don't want you to choke," Mom said, reached for my hand.

"I'm not hungry," I cried, leaned into my mother's embrace.

"Alright, you don't have to finish it right now," Mom coaxed, put an arm around me.

Riley, upon seeing me upset, began to whine. Dad moved to comfort him, made sure he finished up his breakfast. "OK, Riley," he said, picked him up and began to sway him back and forth in soothing motions.

"Can I go back to my room, please?" I sobbed, looked at my mom with my heartbroken eyes.

Mom looked at me, and for a minute I thought she was gonna start crying, too. "Sure." She held out her hand. "Come on."

Once I was settled in my bed again, Mom rubbed my back and let me cry it out for what it seemed like hours. I was so deep in it I didn't notice Dad come in with Riley, and by then I had calmed my sobs to sniffles.

"Ella, do you want to tell us what happened?" Dad asked, put a hand on my shoulder.

I slowly sat up, took a shattered breath. Inhaled, exhaled...then I explained the whole thing in fractured, broken up sentences. "He said he needs to breathe!"

My parents looked at each other, then held me as I dissipated in their arms. Riley crawled towards me to hug me, and that made me cry even harder. Eventually all the emotion knocked me out, and I fell asleep with my head on my mother's lap.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Peyton hung her head back as she closed the door to her daughter's room after she'd fallen asleep again. She shook her head, and Lucas watched her. They walked down the hall. "I knew this was gonna happen."

"What, Adrian putting things on pause?"

"Or some other variation of that. She's living the life she's always lived, and he's not. It's different now….and they're just _too_ young, Luke. They are too young."

"Mm," Lucas said, Riley in his arms. "And now we have to mend our baby girl's broken heart."

Peyton shook her head and wiped at her eyes. "I was afraid of this."

"Yet we knew the day had to get here eventually," Lucas said, put his free arm around his wife.

"Yeah," Peyton scoffed. "Rite of passage BS. Doesn't mean I have to like any of it."

"Oh, I hate it too." Lucas swallowed. "I hate it, too."

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

 _Monday, November 26_ _th_ _, 2029 5:00am_

I tried to make as little noise as possible when I hobbled over from my room to my parents' room, not wanting to wake up the boys. I opened the door to the master bedroom and found Mom and Dad sound asleep. I crept over to Mom's side of the bed and began to gently shake her awake. "Mama..."

Her form shifted in the bed, and eventually her eyes fluttered open. "What's the matter?" she demanded, always quick to assume something bad was going down. She sat up and I grabbed her hand. "What's wrong!"

"Shh," I hissed. My eyes darted to Dad, but he hadn't stirred. "Nothing."

Mom turned on the bedside lamp despite my ill protests. "Baby, what're you doing up so early? It's 5am."

"I couldn't sleep," I said, and my lips began to tremble. "I just….I really don't want to go to school today, Mama..."

"Oh honey," Mom answered, her eyes filled with sympathy.

"Please don't make me go," I began to cry, and I covered my face with my hands.

Mom reached for me, moved my walker out of the way and ushered for me to sit next to her on the bed. "Baby," she said. "You're going with your dad to New York tomorrow so Dr. Farrell can check you. You're gonna miss at least two days of school then."

"Please," I implored. "I just can't..." I began to cry for real. The thought of walking the same halls I used to walk with Adrian, having to face all those people who had no idea….just the thought was mind-numbing.

Mom's face fell and she opened her arms. "Come," she said.

I removed my boot and lay down on the bed, let my mom wrap her arms around me. I turned to her and let her wipe away my tears. "I can't.." I cried, my words becoming blurry and indiscernible. "It hurts..."

"What?" Mom whispered.

"It hurts!" I cried harder, and let my mother hold me close.

Dad woke up from all the commotion, his eyes snapped open and he sat up, already in crisis mode. "What's going on?"

"She's fine," Mom said, dropped kisses on my forehead. "It's alright."

Dad could only watch as I cried and eventually fell asleep. When I awoke again it was almost 9:00 in the morning. The bed was empty and I assumed that my parents went off to work. I sat up, put my hair in a messy ponytail, and put on my boot. Walking down the hallway, I saw that the boys' room was empty, and the house smelt of apple pancakes.

"….Hello?" I called at the top of the stairs.

Footsteps echoed downstairs and my mom appeared. "Need help?"

Once I was down the stairs and had my walker in front of me, I asked, "Don't you have work?"

"I made you breakfast, and I'm going to go in a little later after you eat and shower."

I nodded. "...Does this mean I don't have to go to school?"

Mom sighed and looked at me for a minute. "You're going in late. You cannot miss today if you're missing tomorrow and Wednesday."

Tears filled my eyes again. "But…"

"No buts. It'll be good for you, and it'll distract you."

"Mom, I can barely function right now," I cried, inhaled steadily.

"Sweetheart, just take it one thing at a time. First eat something, then shower, then get dressed and ready for school. I'm letting you miss a lot." Mom held out her hand and I reluctantly took it. "Come on, baby. Just one thing at a time."

With my mother watching me, I let the pancakes slide down my throat, and remained mum as she helped me in the shower. "Do you want my help to pick out an outfit?"

I shook my head, and Mom left to give me privacy. When I opened the door again, I was wearing the UPENN sweatshirt Adrian got for me and black sweatpants with sneakers. "Let's get this over with," I whispered, moved past my mom. She said nothing about the outfit I chose and drove me to Tree Hill High School.

"Dad's going to drive you home at 3, OK?"

I nodded, let my Mom walk around the car and hand me my walker once I opened the door. I didn't even bother bidding her goodbye. My walk inside the school lacked its usual urgency it contained the other times I was ever late. Instead, I dragged out my steps and dreaded the closer I got to the classroom.

AP Spanish with Mrs. Gonzalez. That's where I was meant to be, and when I opened the door and struggled with the walker through the threshold, all my fellow students turned to stare at me like idiots. I sat in my seat and listened, but didn't bother raising my hand to participate; I just wrote in my notebook. Luckily, today there was no partner activity or anything, so I was able to keep to myself, until Mrs. Gonzalez implored me to take off my hoodie. I stared at her, before saying nothing and complying to her stupid rule.

When the bell rang and it was time for lunch, I moved as fast as I possibly could to my dad's office, knocked once on the door and when I heard him say _come on in,_ I opened it. Dad was sitting behind his desk and open laptop, wearing a nice blue button down that brought out his eyes and jeans. My dad had a habit of making simple look stylish, and the best part was he didn't even know it.

"Hey, pumpkin pie," he said, and his nickname was enough to almost make me start crying again. "How are you doing?"

I shut the door behind me. "Dad," I whimpered, sunk into his futon.

Dad got up and sat next to me, brought his arm around me. "You feel like talking more about it?"

I shook my head no, leaned into my dad's strong frame.

"Do you feel like eating something?"

"I'm not hungry."

"OK." He paused, "Want some candy?" Not many knew that my dad had a serious sweet tooth.

"No thanks," I said.

"I have seltzer or Ginger Ale." I nodded and Dad handed me the can of soda, and I drank it through a straw, suddenly really thirsty. Afterwards, Dad took off my boot and let me lay down for a while, running his hand up my left leg in soothing motions. Eventually my eyes shut closed. "Sweetie," Dad said.

My eyes fluttered open, my throat now dry. "Hm?"

"Lunch is almost over. What's your next class?" Dad handed me the Ginger Ale and I finished it off.

"History." I felt my father's hand on my back, holding me up. "Dad..."

"What's up?" he whispered in a sort of playful way.

"Do I _have_ to go to class? All I wanna do is sleep."

"Ella," Dad said. "You have to go to class."

"Why?"

"It'll be a good distraction, honey," Dad said. I swear him and Mom were always on the same wavelength. "I know what happened with Adrian has you really upset, but the last thing you need right now is to fall behind in your studies. It'll only makes things worse and more difficult, believe me."

"Dad," I pleaded. "I can't walk these halls right now; I just can't…. I feel like I can't breathe."

Dad looked at me, and I could see how blue his eyes were right then, as the pain in mine reflected into his own. He asked me, ever calm, "What would you like to do?"

"Stay here with you," I whispered, leaned into his arm.

"I have a meeting with the assistant coaches," he said. "...But you can stay."

I exhaled.

"Do you have a book? I'd feel better about letting you skip if you were at least reading."

"I can work on my paper for Mr. Wietz."

Dad nodded. "Here, let me put your boot back on in case you need to get up." When he was done, he waved and left me in his office.

My copy of _Wuthering Heights_ was covered in my frantic scribble and Post-it notes. Eventually the words just blurred together, and I put my head down on Dad's desk. Several minutes later a knock on the door jolted me from my sleepy state.

The door opened and I turned to see Sheff on the other side. "Oh...sorry," he said. "Hey, you alright?"

"I'm fine," I said, rubbed my cheek. "What's up?"

"I was looking for Coach….why aren't you in class?"

"Why aren't you?" I bit back, my head beginning to pound. I knew right then; I was dehydrated.

"I have a free period." Sheff shut the door behind him. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"I'm...I don't feel well," _Yes, yes that's it. "_ I don't feel well."

Sheff nodded. "Do you need anything?"

I sighed. "Could you just pass me a can of seltzer from the fridge?" I motioned to my dad's mini fridge in the corner.

"Sure." Sheff passed me the seltzer, even opened it for me. "….I can stay and hang out with you; if you want."

"That's OK," I said right away; perhaps it was unconvincing. "Really.. you don't have to."

Sheff watched me and soon nodded. "OK." He shoved his hands in his pockets. "Well...hit me up if you change your mind."

"OK. Thanks." I smiled wanly at him, and was left alone. I buried my face in my hands, and the silence led me to more tears. I had no idea Sheff was listening on the other side of the door.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Isa turned around at the calling of her name, and saw Sheff Morgan walking toward her. "Hey," she said, as she stood by her locker in the midst of other students scurrying to their next class. "What's up, Sheff?"

"Not much." He lowered his voice. "You talk to Ella lately?"

"Not since Thanksgiving. She sent me a text like she always does. Just been busy with family and stuff. Why?"

"….She's crying in Coach's office."

Isa's eyebrows raised. "What, right now? Alone?"

"Well I went in looking for Coach and found her instead. She said she wasn't feeling well and I heard her start crying as I shut the door to leave. I didn't want to overwhelm her, and I figured you guys are best friends, so…"

"No, thanks for telling me. How long ago did you leave?"

"Just now. I tried to hunt down Coach, but he's in a meeting."

"OK. I'll take care of it. Thanks again."

Sheff nodded. "Let me know," he said, and melted into the crowd.

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

 _Hey girl. Where you be?_

So read the text I got from Isa. I ignored it, and went back to Dad's futon and lay down after ripping my boot off. The crying worsened my headache and made me feel like I got hit by a truck. I barely noticed when Dad came back, and thankfully he let me sleep–only waking me up to take me home. I immediately went to my bed and disregarded that I had homework to do. I checked my phone; just that one message from Isa, until it went off in another text, this time from Sheff.

 _Hey, just checking in. Are you feeling any better?_

I turned my phone off and put it in the drawer of my night table, then gave in to the sweet seduction of sleep.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Upon arriving in the kitchen, Lucas greeted his mother with a kiss on the cheek. She'd graciously agreed to come watch the boys so Roslyn could take care of Larry. Right now she was giving the boys a snack. Miles began squealing in happiness upon seeing his father, banging his hands on the tray in his feeding chair.

Lucas swooped in and blew kisses on Miles' cheek, doing the same for Riley. "Hey, buddy! Enjoying your snack?"

Riley nodded, and began wiggling in his chair like he did when the food he was eating was particularly tasty. Lucas laughed, ruffled his son's blonde hair.

"Ella went upstairs pretty quickly," Karen observed. "Everything good?"

Lucas shoved his hands in his pockets. "Actually, no." He moved closer to his mother and spoke in low tones, explained the whole thing with Adrian.

"Oh, no..." Karen said. "Poor thing."

"She's devastated."

"Is she eating?"

"She refused to eat lunch; I think she might've had a big breakfast. She told me earlier that all she wanted to do was sleep."

Karen shook her head, sighed heavily. "They're young. Maybe they'll work it out."

"I'm worried, Ma. When I looked at her, she seemed so….empty."

Karen ran a hand up her son's arm. "Give her time to mourn. Ella's a tough cookie; she'll be alright..."

The doorbell rang, and Lucas moved to answer the door. Isabel Hendrick stood on the other side, backpack on her back. "Hey," she said, smiled quite sheepishly.

"Hi Isabel," Lucas greeted. "Come on in."

Isabel moved across the threshold and followed Lucas into the kitchen. "Sorry to just drop by," she said, after politely greeting Karen and waving to the boys. "Is Ella here?"

"She's upstairs, but I think she might be sleeping." He cleared his throat, unsure of what to say. "She must've told you?"

Isabel furrowed her brows. "Told me what?"

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

I couldn't explain it, but I sensed somebody was in my room. I shifted on the bed, my eyes fluttered open and sure enough, Isa was staring at me. "Hey you."

"Hey," I said, my voice hoarse. "...Were you watching me sleep?"

"No," Isa said, laughed a bit. "I just sat down. Haven't been here more than seven seconds; promise." She watched me for a second. "So, how're you doing?"

I narrowed my eyes at her. "You know, don't you?"

"...Your dad told me," she admitted. "But only after Sheff heard you crying your eyes out." Isa grabbed my hand. "Ella, _what_ happened?"

My lips trembled, and through tears I told my best friend everything. "I don't understand!" I leaned into Isa's side after she climbed into the bed next to me. "I feel numb..."

Isa kissed the side of my head. "I am so sorry. You deserve better than that."

"How could he do this?" I asked, more to myself.

"I don't know," she answered truthfully.

For the next hour, Isa and I talked it out. I talked about feeling completely taken aback by this, feeling like I got my heart ripped out. The more I cried, the more exhausted I felt. "And we never even talked about how this break is supposed to work. Are we gonna talk? Are we not gonna talk?...is he expecting to be able to date other girls?"

"...Do you think he would?"

I wiped at my eyes. "I don't know!"

-x-x-x- **EGS-** x-x-x-

 _Thursday, November 29th, 2029 4:57pm_

The trip to see Dr. Farrell in New York City with Dad came and went, and was nothing short of ordinary. I was too distracted, too heartbroken to really pay attention to all that the place had to offer. I spent most of my time there in a daze, really only spoke when spoken to.

I found myself back in the Tutor Center at school, tutoring Sheff like I'd never left. I worked through the session absolutely stoic and stone faced, and totally avoided conversation about my personal life.

I checked the clock and it was 4:59pm. Our hour was up. Thank fucking God.

"Thanks Ella," Sheff said, stood up. "You always make things make sense." He packed up his backpack and I too stood up, walked around the table carefully, my walker open and ready to be used if I so needed it. I watched the way his eyes looked me up and down as he moved to hug me goodbye. "Wait..." he said, held up his hand. His lips curled into an endearing smile. "Oh, shit! No more boot?!"

"Oh…" I said, looked down. The boot was indeed gone. "No more boot."

"Why didn't you tell me? Congratulations!" He moved to hug me, and I received it rather stiffly. "That's awesome, man."

I nodded. "Indeed."

"So, what's next?"

"Physical therapy," I breathed. "Lots of physical therapy."

"You'll get through it. I'lll see you tomorrow?"

"I'll be here." As he turned to leave, I called his name, and he turned back to me. "Isabel told me you overheard me crying the other day. In my dad's office."

Sheff started to blush, hard. "Oh. Yeah...yeah, I did. She told you?"

I nodded, bit my lip. "When she came over to check on me. You really didn't have to tell her anything."

Sheff began to fidget. "Well, I know you two are like best friends, and I don't…I don't know...I didn't want to see you sad." He watched me for a minute. "Are you OK?"

 _No._ "I'm fine. I'll see you tomorrow."

-x-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-x-

 _Saturday, December 15th, 2029 ~ 16 days later_

Two days after the actual day of Riley's second birthday, we were throwing him a big party at the house. We decided not to theme it this was invited, and even Grandpa Larry was feeling particularly festive, sporting a cardboard hat everywhere he went. I tried my hardest to remain emotionally present, but it was proving to be really fucking hard–especially because I kept imagining Adrian being there beside me, taking part in all the fun.

"Hey, Cookie," Aunt Brooke rasped, patted my leg to get my attention. "You doing OK?"

I gave my mother the task of telling everyone in the family about the break when it came up, considering Adrian almost always came to functions like these after three years together, and there would be questions from everyone if he wasn't around.

"Yeah," I said, tilted my hat for emphasis. "I'm fine."

Aunt Brooke watched me for a second. She leaned in close and said, "He doesn't know what he's missing."

My eyes filled in tears and I nodded quickly to wish them away.

"It's OK, mama," she assured me. "I know it hurts. The first one is always the absolute worst."

"First what?"

All I saw was sympathy in my aunt's eyes. "Heartbreak."

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

Soon Dad brought out the cake and everyone gathered to sing Riley 'Happy Birthday' and watch him blow out the candles. I was ushered to stand to my dad's left, and we all posed for pictures. I was sure to smile so that years from now, when we look back at these pictures, I'm not reminded of the pain I'm in right now.

I made my way to fill a Solo cup with soda, my walker by my side.

"Hey," I turned to see Catherine beside me. "You've been kinda quiet all afternoon, what's up?"

"Oh...it's nothing," I said, and I couldn't bring myself to look her in the eye until the last second.

"You're sure?"

"Mhm."

"You're positive."

I exhaled sharply. "Look...I don't–I don't want to ruin the party. Can we talk about this later?"

Catherine's brows furrowed as her concern grew. "Did something happen?"

"Later," I implored. Catherine took my cup of soda without me asking her to, and helped me carry it to an empty seat. She sat next to me and changed the subject, as if nothing ever happened.

Catherine and Isa insisted on staying to help clean up, even though my parents insisted it wasn't necessary. They stayed anyway, and we ended up in my room listening to music.

"I know what you guys are doing," I said, cocking my eyebrows at the two of them.

"What're you talking about?" Isa replied, giving me her nervous laugh.

"You stayed to corner me and make me talk to you about Adrian," I said simply. "And I don't want to." It was then that I realized my mistake. Catherine didn't know yet.

"Wait..what about Adrian? What's going on?" she asked.

Isa turned to me, her eyes gentle and unassuming. I took a deep, shuddering breath, and with Coldplay playing in the background, I reluctantly explained the whole thing from start to finish.

" _What?_ " Catherine exclaimed. "Oh my God."

I covered my eyes with my hand, and my two friends remained frozen, staring at me and not knowing what to do. "But...but it's a break. Not a _break up_ ….right?"

"Is there even really a difference?" I cried, tears leaking down my face. "It's been exactly three weeks, and he hasn't reached out to me. I have no fucking idea how this is meant to work!"

"Ask him," Catherine insisted. She passed me my phone. "Ask him. Call him right now."

I shook my head. "No, I'm not going to do that..."

"It's uncomfortable, but Ella, it's the only way you're going to know. If you can't handle it right now, just consider that it's going to be a conversation you eventually need to have."

"I agree," Isa said. She reached over to brush the hair from my face. "You both need to talk it about it at some point." She paused, "And isn't he back in Tree Hill for winter break by now?"

"Fuck," I said. "I didn't even think of that..." I looked out the window, and I thought of all the places I'd now dread going to because Adrian might be there. "How am I supposed to go anywhere?"

"Oh hon," Catherine said. "Don't let him stop you from living your life. Think of it this way: you lived in Tree Hill far longer and way before he ever did! I hate to be cheesy, but this is your town."

"Yeah," Isa agreed. "He should be the one afraid to go anywhere, not you. He's the one who made the huge mistake. Not you." She grabbed my hand.

I held my phone in my other hand and debated just texting him, seeing where he was. "If I'm going to talk to him at all, it's going to be in person."

"Good idea."

"As long as you're ready for it," Catherine said. "This is about you. The minute Adrian walked out of that door," Catherine pointed behind her, "It became about you. And it's not fair to you to be sitting in all this damn uncertainty. Do you know what I mean?"

I nodded and wiped at my eyes. "…I think I'm gonna do it." With shaking hands, I texted Adrian this:

 _Hey. Are you back in town? I'd like to talk to you in person._

"That sounds good," Isa said, as I read it aloud before hitting send. "Deep breath, and send it."

"I sent it." A few moments later, I said, "Oh God. He's typing back."

 _About what?_

"What'd he say?!"

I read it and looked at my friends. "What an abrasive reply."

"It might not be, Ell. You can't hear his tone."

He sent me another text.

 _I'm back in Tree Hill. Just got in an hour ago._

I wrote:

 _Can we meet up? If you don't mind coming over to my place._

He said, _I don't think that's wise._

 _What part? Us talking or you coming over? You don't have to come in, we can sit and talk on the front porch. ….Please._

He took a bit to reply, but eventually my phone went off in a text.

 _OK. I can be there in half an hour._

"I don't like how things are on his terms," Catherine said. " _You_ should have told _him_ when _he_ could come over. It's your damn house."

"He's the one who initiated the break; not me."

"So?" Catherine challenged. "Remember what I said. It's about you now. You're the one who wanted this talk, so you call the shots. Simple."

My stomach began to flip. "...Maybe this was a bad idea."

"No, no," Isa said. "Don't do that. All this not knowing has been eating you up. You know it and I know it. Don't you want a straight answer? 'Adrian, have you been seeing other girls?' 'Are we gonna talk?' You said it yourself, Ell."

"I don't think I can ask him that…" I began to cry, and Catherine and Isa bombarded me in a group hug.

"Ella." Isa took both my hands, and Catherine put a hand on my right calf. " _You can do this._ "

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

As almost the last of the guests had left the house after the party had wound down, Peyton walked barefoot to the kitchen to the sounds of Lucas washing the dishes that were too delicate to put in the dishwasher.

"Our Birthday Boy is two," she said, her lips bent in a pout.

"I know; he's getting so big." Lucas wrapped his arm around his wife's waist. "Another successful birthday party in the books."

"I figure we just throw a get together before Riley wants themed parties," Peyton said. She leaned into her husband's embrace, let him run his hands down her back. They swayed together in the kitchen, ever so slightly. "The boys are asleep. I just gave my dad his meds, he's in his room watching TV."

"Grateful for the quiet?"

"Absolutely," Peyton said, and then laughed to herself, let him squeeze her closer to his body. She inhaled the residue of his cologne that stuck to his skin. Lucas reached behind her for the leftover cake on the counter, tried to cut himself a slice while still holding onto her–which was proving to be quite difficult. "What–oh my God. You have _such_ a sweet tooth!" Peyton tried to swat his hand away from the cake, but he dodged her.

"Oh come on; share this slice with me." He pouted. "Please?"

Peyton hung her head back, watched as Lucas cut the slice and offered her a forkful. She let him feed her, let the sweetness rest on her tongue.

"Good, right?" he scooped some of the icing onto his forefinger, and she took his hand and licked the icing off his finger herself. He exhaled a sharp breath, and she was wearing that sexy smirk on her face he could never resist. He leaned in to kiss her, as his hand grazed her lower back. "Your lips taste like vanilla," he whispered in her ear. He dropped the slice of birthday cake back onto the counter, and continued kissing her, only breaking apart when he heard three sets of footsteps coming down the stairs.

"Hey guys," Peyton said, turned from facing Lucas to see her daughter with her two best friends. "Leaving already? I thought you were both sleeping over."

"I can't," Isa said. "Have rehearsal all day tomorrow."

"And I'm singing in choir at church," Catherine added.

"I'll be right back," Ella said, and Peyton noticed her daughter squeeze Isa's hand extra tight before she left the kitchen and went through the front door toward the porch.

"She's OK," Isa said right away. "I think she just needs some fresh air." Both girls reached to give Peyton and Lucas hugs before they went home.

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

I was sitting on the porch swing for all of a few minutes before Isa and Catherine joined me. "Deep breaths," Isa said. "Ella, you got this."

"He should be here any minute," I said. "What if I just lose it?"

"You won't," Catherine assured me. "Anything you need, we're just phone calls away."

"Can I text you guys if it goes south?"

"Of course," Isa said. "You know you can text either of us anytime." Isa turned to Catherine and added, jokingly, "Right?"

"Yes," Catherine chuckled. "I love you, bud."

"So do I," Isa said. She hugged me on one side as Catherine hugged me on the other.

"I love you both," I said. "Get out of here before I start crying!"

They both blew me kisses, before Cath climbed into Isa's car and they drove out of sight. I was left to wait.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"I wonder why Ella's waiting on the front porch," Peyton mused, as her and Lucas moved to the foyer. "Did she tell you anything?"

"No. She's been with Isabel and Catherine this whole time." Lucas moved the curtain covering the long window by the door to reveal Ella sitting on the porch swing, facing the driveway. "It looks like she's waiting for somebody."

"You don't think..." Peyton started, stared at her husband. "Adrian?"

Lucas kept staring out the window. Soon the couple heard the unmistakable sounds of tires creeping up the asphalt, and saw the shine of headlights. "...Yep. That's his car, right?"

Peyton stood beside Lucas and checked. "That's his car," she confirmed. "What do you think he could be doing here?"

"I have no idea. I have half a mind to find out, though."

She pulled slightly on his arm. "Luke, you are _not_ going out there."

"I didn't say I was going out there. I just said I want to find out. Jeez. He's walking up to her."

"We should really stop creeping," Peyton said. She tugged on his hand. "Luke, come on."

"She better not come back in crying."

"Lucas Scott!"

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

Soon, the lights from Adrian's Subaru Forrester almost blinded me as he pulled up into the driveway. My heart was fucking pounding. My palms were sweaty. I wanted to burst into tears and throw up all at once. I heard the sounds of his shoes crunching on gravel, and I looked up from my lap to see him walking up the front steps. Adrian hadn't changed much in the three weeks since we last saw each other; his hair was still shorter, his stubble still there. He was wearing a sweatshirt, sweats, and sneakers. It made him look younger than he was.

"Hey," he said.

"…Hi," I said. My voice cracked. Goddamn it. He leaned against the pillar of the porch, across from the porch swing. "You don't wanna even sit next to me?"

He looked at me, his amber eyes dull and sad. "What'd you want to talk about?"

I swallowed. "Adrian, it's been three weeks and I haven't heard anything from you. I feel like there's a lot to say."

He shoved his hands in his pockets. "It's a break."

My eyes hardened. "I'm aware of that. So are we not gonna talk at all, then?"

Adrian ran a hand down his face. "Ella...I just think talking will make it so much harder."

"Harder for me or you?"

"That's not fair," he said, shook his head at me.

"You wanted this break, Adrian! It's _completely_ fair."

"That doesn't mean that being without you has been any less hard on me!" he said, his voice rose up a notch. "I'm sick of everyone, including you, assuming that I'm just waltzing around, carefree and fucking happy. That's _not_ true."

` "Yeah well, you did it to yourself!" I yelled back. "I didn't want this."

"Well then...what do you want?!"

 _You._

"I want to know how this is meant to work."

"We see how things go. Check back in maybe at Spring break."

"Are we seeing other people?"

He seemed taken aback by my question. His bravado seemed to fade. "..Do you want to?"

"That's not what I said. I just wanna know–"

"Know what? Know if that's what this break was about for me?" He scoffed, let his arms hang at his sides uselessly. "I'm _NOT_ seeing anybody else. Not Margie, not anybody. Jesus fucking Christ." He stared at me. "It's only been three weeks."

"Only three weeks?" I repeated in one breath, raised my brows at him. I debated on how much to reveal. I'd never really done that before. I used to be able to tell Adrian anything and everything on my mind, like, _this has been the longest three weeks of my life._ Or, _I don't want to do this. I feel like I can't breathe. I wanna breathe again. "_ How can you be so cavalier about this?!"

"I'm not–Ella, I'm not." He moved towards me, and I both dreaded and yearned for him to take the seat next to mine. Instead, he leaned on his haunches in front of the porch swing. "I don't mean to be cavalier. I just meant...I'm just surprised that you're thinking about me seeing other people after I 1) told you I wasn't interested in that and 2) am telling you it's only been three weeks. I wouldn't do that."

"I know it's been three weeks; I don't need you to count for me," I snapped.

He nodded and swallowed hard. "The only reason I can think of as to why you'd ask me that is because _you_ want to see other people."

I shook my head desperately. "No, Adrian, I _do not_ want to see other people..." I began to cry. My resolve had broken. _Screw it._ "I only want you; I want to be with you!"

He held up his hand. "Ella, don't–"

"Why not?" I challenged. "I used to be able to tell you anything, baby..." I watched his beautiful eyes snap to meet mine, his ears perk at the usage of that one term of endearment.

Still, he sighed and said, "When you talk like that, it–"

"It what?"

"It makes it too difficult!"

I scoffed in bewilderment. "Oh, so you thought it was gonna be easy? Just cut ties and that's it?"

"What the–cut ties? All I asked for was a little time; a little space. Will you stop trying to paint it like I'm the bad guy here?!"

I shrugged and felt a chill enter my veins. "Well. It sure as hell isn't me."

Adrian stood up, and inside I began to panic. "Forget it. See other people if you want."

"So you're mad now?"

"Yes, Ella! Yes, I'm mad. This break was never about me wanting to see other girls. I just couldn't handle the distance and didn't want to see us fall apart because of it. I love you too much."

"Yet we can't talk?" I asked him, my voice small and vulnerable.

"It'd be too painful for me to hear your voice, Ella….I just can't. I'm sure it'd be hard for you to hear mine."

 _It's hard for me to_ _be_ _without you._ With tears falling down my nose, I only nodded. _I miss you. I love you so much it fucking hurts._ "OK." _You only told me to see other people because you're hurt._ _You don't really mean it._ Still, all I could say was, again, "OK."

He nodded once. "I guess I'll get going."

I stared at him, felt like I was choking on my own silence.

"Spring Break."

It seemed as though he was still hanging on to us by saying those words. As though maybe by Spring break, we'd have a chance. Or maybe I was in denial. Or maybe I was just terrified of what it would mean if I was wrong: if he wasn't hanging on at all. "Spring Break," I repeated.

"It's in March."

All I could do was fucking nod. _I hate this. I hate that things are like this._

 _"_ Well...I'll see you."

I watched him walk away, and felt the pain of losing him all over again. He drove his car off into the night. Though invisible, the pain constricted my chest, pressed up against me and pulled me to lie down on the porch swing, curl my knees into my body and cry.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-


	11. Without You

_Chapter Ten_

Without You

 _Wednesday, December 19th, 2029 4:15pm_

Six days before Christmas, I was sitting in the waiting area of the local physical therapy place, waiting to meet my new physical therapist. Here I was again, back at physical therapy after years of leaving it behind. To say that I was less than thrilled was an understatement. PT followed me like a shadow.

"Ella?"

I looked up from my phone to see a tall, fit gentleman in light green scrubs. I stood up by pushing on my walker. "Hi."

The man held out his hand for me to shake, and I did. He had super short hair and dark brown eyes. "I'm Joshua." He motioned past his shoulder with his hand. "Come on back." I followed Joshua back towards the exam tables surrounded by curtains for privacy. There were several pieces of exercise equipment: three treadmills, two ellipticals, and two recumbent bikes. "Have a seat here." Joshua patted the exam table and I hopped right on it. We began by having a conversation.

"You know I have CP, right?"

A slight smirk tugged on Joshua's lips. "Yes."

"Just checking."

"I have the prescription from Dr. Farrell here," he said, holding it between his fingers. "Strengthening, desensitization…" he nodded, more to himself. "Let's talk about goals."

"OK," I replied.

Joshua shrugged in an airy way. "What're some of your goals after this surgery?"

I laughed, feeling a bit embarrassed. "Well...I'd really like to walk without crutches some day." Saying it aloud was both a relief and a terror all at once.

Joshua nodded, but his face revealed nothing, really. "Alright. We can work on that. What else?"

I cleared my throat. "I think it'd be cool if I was able to walk across the stage without crutches to get my diploma at graduation in June."

This time Joshua's lips curled into a smile. "That's a great goal. I like that." He patted the exam table with his hand and instructed me to lay down. "Why don't we start today with some stretching?" As he stretched me and I breathed through the pain, Joshua looked down at me and spoke. "Now, if you want to accomplish your goals, it's imperative that you do work on your own, too. Stretching, exercising. I'm going to give you a regimen to follow. Coming to PT twice a week for an hour each session is not gonna cut it. I'm no miracle worker."

"OK." I flinched as my legs began to burn. Joshua shook my left leg to relieve the tension, being sure not to press his hand on the new scar on my left ankle–the one Mom said made me look like Frankenstein.

After stretching and ten minutes on the recumbent bike (during which I felt like I was going to pass out), Joshua grabbed the crutches he instructed me to bring from home before our first meeting. I looked at him, raised my eyebrows and nearly laughed in disbelief. "You want me to use the crutches _now_?" I hadn't used the crutches or even so much as looked at them since before the surgery back in August.

"Yes," Joshua answered, his reply short and curt. "The walker has got to go."

I motioned to my pair of black forearm crutches. "I was kinda hoping we could skip those."

Joshua stared at me and began to smirk again. "You want to go from using the walker to using nothing?"

"Yes," I said, suddenly small.

Joshua laughed lightly. "Ella." He patted his chest with his palm. "I'm good, but I'm not _that_ good." He handed me the crutches, and I had no choice but to take them. I eased one arm through each crutch, grabbed the handles, and pushed to stand. "Good. Now try to walk across that blue tape." He pointed to the blue tape he had placed strategically on the ground minutes before. In reality the tape was only about five to seven feet from where I stood, but it seemed like miles and miles.

"How?" I asked, panic rising on my voice at all the open space in front of me.

Joshua stood next to me with his arms out, protecting me. "Same way as always. You can do it. Trust yourself."

I moved my right leg simultaneously with the left crutch just like I was taught to do way back when I was eight years old. Right away I felt unsteady and unbalanced. I began to tremble, and Joshua noticed.

"Keep going."

I shut my eyes, moved my left leg with my right crutch, my legs shaking like mad. I whimpered and knew that nobody, including Joshua, was going to help me. As much as I hated it, I knew that was the way it had to be.

"Come on," Joshua said, his voice stern and void of any sympathy. "Push through the fear, Ella, and trust yourself. Come on, push!"

"I can't," I said, and tears stung my eyes. I felt like I was going to fall, my hands beginning to shake. "Can we stop? I'm not strong enough."

"You _are_ strong enough. It's all in your head. You gotta push through." He pointed to the floor. "Across the blue tape, let's go."

I gritted my teeth and felt like punching my new physical therapist in the face. But I wasn't going to. Instead I willed my legs to move, with my feet dragging across the floor.

Of course, Joshua caught it. "Don't drag." He watched me intently, and I was driven by the desire to not disappoint him, even though I was upset. Several steps and deep breaths later, and I had used my crutches to walk across the blue tape. I exhaled and slouched, and Joshua put his large hand on my arm. "Good job. Have a seat there; I'll get you some water."

I sank into the chair in complete relief. I practically threw the crutches onto the floor in distaste. _Those goddamn bastards._ Here I naively thought I could get rid of them so fast. Nope.

Joshua merely side stepped the crutches and handed me a paper cup filled in water. "I hate to be a cliché, but anger is motivation." I drained the water down my throat in two gulps. Joshua sat down on a rolling stool in front of me. "I want you using the crutches from now on, OK?"

I took a deep breath and nodded. "Whatever you say."

"Your body's just not used to them right now. You'll adjust the more you use them. But no more walker. Actually, I'm gonna keep it here."

"You are?"

"I am." He stood up. "Come on, let's walk to the leg press," he motioned to the machine in the corner. "That's one of the machines I want you using on your own. Are you a member of any gym?"

"No. I mostly just go to the gym at my uncle's house."

Joshua stared at me. "Your uncle has a gym in his house?"

"Yes," I answered, quite stiff. Uncle Nathan and my parents weren't too keen on everybody knowing I was directly related to a rich basketball legend. Not that Uncle Nathan was ashamed of me or anything like that. I think they just wanted to protect me from the evils of fame, that's all. Gaining friends for the wrong reasons, that type of thing. Anyway, I was sure to keep the fact that Uncle Nathan was impossibly rich on the down low.

"Alright then. Are you close to your uncle?"

"Very."

"Perfect."

I sat on the leg press and under Joshua's supervision pushed about 40 pounds of weight. Afterwards, we outlined my stretching and exercise regimen, and I was left to wait for my mom to pick me up in the waiting area. Once I sat in the passenger's seat of the Comet, aches rose up from everywhere. "How do you feel, baby?" Mom asked.

"I'm exhausted," I said, leaned my head back on the seat.

"Was it a good distraction?"

I gave her a look. " I really don't wanna talk about that right now. I stopped crying just enough to suffer through physical therapy."

"OK," Mom said, keeping it simple. She glanced at me after starting her engine and putting on some mellow music. "Your new physical therapist is hot."

Despite my innate sadness and exhaustion, I cracked a smile. "Oh my God. I knew you were gonna say that!"

"Well he is!" Mom chuckled, and we drove on home. "What's his name?"

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

 _Friday, December 21st, 2029 2:45pm_

Four days until Christmas in Tree Hill. My parents had put up a beautiful tree, and almost all the presents were already under it. Stockings hung on the mantel, the house often smelt of eggnog (spiked or otherwise) and freshly baked cookies. We got out early from school as we often do the day right before a holiday vacation. Despite all the Christmas spirit my parents tried so hard to inject and keep alive within the walls of our home, I didn't feel a damn thing.

A cup of chai tea was placed in front of me in a lovely _cup of cheer_ mug that I got for five bucks at Target. It was a rare moment of quiet in our house. Dad was upstairs spending some quality time with the boys, and to relieve Grandma Karen. Mom still was at work. Roslyn had just returned from picking up Grandpa Larry at the senior center, and he had retreated to his room to watch reruns of _Judge Judy_ followed by the live news. So it was just Roslyn and me.

"So," she said. She sat down next to me with her own mug of tea and a few slices of toasted bread. "How are you doing?"

"I'm OK," I answered. I placed my palm on my mug and it was steaming hot.

Roslyn watched me. "You're sad, I've noticed."

I looked at her and nodded my head to avoid crying, though tears filled my eyes. "Mhm."

Roslyn swallowed and removed her glasses. "I remember my first love," she said. She smiled in very much a wistful way. "Those were some beautiful times. And I remember when he broke my heart, all I could do was cry. I couldn't work. Couldn't sleep, or eat. I was so depressed I lost 15 pounds. It was not easy."

The lump in my throat throbbed with the continued threat of tears. "This is my first Christmas without him."

"I know it's really hard, but you still have your family. Your mom, your dad, your brothers, Grandpa Larry! They all love you _so_ much."

I nodded, a few tears slipped down my face. "It's not the same."

"No, it's not," Roslyn agreed. "I understand completely." She got up, and that afternoon was the first time we ever shared a hug.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

By the time Peyton got home, Ella was upstairs listening to music in her room, and Roslyn was on her way out the door. "Have a beautiful holiday," she said, squeezed her arm warmly. "Larry's in his room. Lucas is with the boys upstairs."

"Thank you so much." Peyton gestured to the box of cookies she carried in her hand from the local bakery, with a card taped to the top with Roslyn's name on it. She'd made such a positive impact in such short time, it was the least Peyton could do to give her a little something along with a Christmas card. "These are for you. Merry Christmas!"

Roslyn patted Peyton's arm. "Oh, you didn't have to!" she said, laughed. "Me and my sweet tooth. I guess word got around!"

"Sure did."

"Thank you for this. I'll see you in the new year!"

"Enjoy, drive safe," Peyton said, waved as Roslyn stepped through the door, walked down the driveway, and got in her car. Peyton shut the door, kicked off her heels by the coat rack and sprinted upstairs, happy to be home with her loves.

After saying hello to her father, and after hearing the tunes bleeding through Ella's bedroom door, Peyton headed towards Riley and Miles' bedroom. She stopped in the doorway to see her two sons and her husband sitting on the center rug, books sprawled by their feet. Riley was sitting behind Miles, letting the baby rest on his chest as they flipped through the book.

"Riley, where is the cat?" Lucas asked, as they were looking at _The Cat in the Hat_.

"There," Riley said, as he pointed to the main character. Miles grabbed onto Riley's little finger, and he giggled.

"Good job, buddy," Lucas said, as he smiled–dimples and all. He looked up and saw Peyton standing there, and his smile only grew. "Hey!"

"MAMA!" Riley hollered, and Miles began to squeal and babble galore.

Peyton gasped, opened her arms and knelt to the floor, still in work attire. She showered her sons in hugs and kisses, saved Lucas for last. "Hi," she breathed, after he kissed her for a good few seconds.

"Did Roslyn like the cookies?"

Peyton laughed lightly. "She did." She inhaled her husband's comforting scent, and then said, "Ella's in her room blasting music again, huh?"

Lucas nodded, exhaled. "Has been for a while. I got her to lower it, and Larry to finally stop hollering about how loud it was–with Roslyn's help. I couldn't wait for you to come home," he admitted. "Not to sound like a failure."

"You're not a failure," Peyton said, her tone serious, caring, sympathetic.

Lucas hung his head back, closed his eyes for a second as she fondled his hair. "I just figured since… you blasted a lot of music in your room at her age, you'd know what to do." He watched her intently. "Then again, you always know what to do," he whispered.

Peyton leaned in and kissed him. "Well, those days are behind me now," she said. Gone were the days where she lost herself in music and her sadness, where she isolated herself, her feelings and her heart. Yet even though she'd been through it, watching Ella go through it hurt her beyond belief–which is why she needed to help her. "I'll be right back."

After changing into comfy clothes, Peyton headed to her daughter's room and knocked on the door.

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

Even though I didn't say _come on in,_ my mom came in to the room anyway, saw me laying in bed staring at the ceiling. "Hey you."

"Hi," I said, curled away from the door. Mom came and sat on the bed, lay down next to me.

"Band of Horses," she said, after only listening to the song for a few seconds. She tucked a strand of my wavy hair away from my ear, and bent down to kiss my temple. "Daddy tells me you've been listening to music for a while. How come?"

I swallowed and heard it travel down my throat. "Feel like it."

"You wanna talk?"

I exhaled and sat up with much trouble, faced my mother. "It just...it hurts so bad, Mom. I feel this ache in my chest, and I don't know how to make it go away. When I'm in school, every time I turn a corner I half expect and half dread that he'll run into me. It's like I'm dragging myself through mud when I walk through the hallways. I can't focus. And I think...worst of all...I don't _care–_ about tutoring, about homework, about friends–about any of it. I'm completely numb. I know you might think I'm being dramatic, but I'm not trying to be."

"I know," Mom said, and I saw the tears in her eyes, too. She grabbed my hand, and I held onto it.

"I'm just trying to be honest, because if I can't be honest with you, without being called lame or dramatic or hell, even a goddamn brat... then there's...there's no point." I paused, took a shuddering breath. "When I first met Adrian, I thought he was just some...guy," I chuckled to myself despite my tears. "I never thought he'd have such a big impact on me, my life, my heart. Never."

"Mm," Mom said. I could tell she wasn't saying much so I could go on.

I shook my head. "But he did! And now….now he wants time away from me."

"Baby, what's Dr. Rosado saying?"

I leaned into Mom's embrace, thought of my recent sessions with my therapist. "All I've done with Dr. R so far is cry. She just lets me cry." I leaned against Mom's chest, heard her heartbeat in my ear. "When did I become this person? Who sobs so much over a boy?"

"Oh baby," Mom said. "Don't delegitimize your heartache. Adrian was...your first love." Mom's words made me cry harder. "It's normal to feel like this after your first."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 _Saturday, December 2_ _2_ _nd_ _, 2029_ _2pm_

Lucas was writing in his library when he heard a knock on the door. "Hey! What's up?"

"How's it going in here?" Peyton asked, circling around and putting her arms around Lucas' shoulders and watched as he lowered his laptop screen. She kissed his temple twice, chuckled to herself. He was always super private about his writing, even now–which is why she cherished the moments he decided to share his writing with her.

"It's alright," Lucas answered, turned around in his chair and pulled his wife to sit on his lap. "How's it going with you?"

"It's alright," she echoed, looked at him for a minute. "...Are you bored?"

She asked the question much like a young person would. Lucas chuckled. "What?"

"Like without grad school and papers and readings. Are you bored?"

Lucas hung his head back. "With you, Ella, the boys, and Larry? No."

Peyton lightly hit his good shoulder. "I'm serious."

"So am I. Even _without_ everything going on, I wouldn't be bored. How could I be bored?" Lucas ran his left hand up and down Peyton's arm in soothing motions. His blue eyes seemed to soften. "Every day is an adventure with you, baby. I promise."

Peyton pouted and their noses rubbed together. "Maybe bored was the wrong word. I meant _fulfilled._ Maybe even stimulated. I know going back to school was _really_ important to you, Luke–"

"Yeah, it is, but it's not nearly as important as being your husband and being a good father to our children. It doesn't even compare." He squeezed her tightly to him. "Don't worry, Peyt. School will always be there, but our Riley won't always be two years old. You know?"

"Yeah," Peyton said, and they kissed. "You're the best."

He winked at her, and she reluctantly left so he could go back to his writing.

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x

 _Sunday, December 23_ _rd_ _,_ _2029_ _10:00am_

That Sunday morning, my parents decided they wanted to do something different and go out to breakfast together as a family. _Karen's Cafe_ was the first choice. We invited Grandma, Andy and Lily along. I could tell everyone was having a good time just being together, and honest to God I tried to join in the fun. I really did. But I kept fucking spacing and zoning out, staring into space. When my waffles came, I concentrated on eating them.

"You alright, girlie?" Lily asked, in a subtle whisper.

I took just a small sip of my orange juice. "No," I said back. "I can't.." my eyes teared up, and Lily's brows knitted. "I'm having a really hard time swallowing…."

Lily watched me. "Why?"

"I don't know," I said back.

"Are you anxious?"

I nodded, not wanting to draw attention to myself. The rest of my family were engaged in conversation.

"Anxious about what?" Lily asked. She put a supportive hand on my back and guessed rather astutely, "About running into Adrian?"

I nodded, my lips trembling. "He lives here, too."

Lily nodded. "I know he does...but look around you," she suggested. "He's nowhere to be found."

"But he used to work here."

"OK, does he still work here, though?" Lily challenged. "Or was that just a summer thing?"

"I don't know!" I cried, and quickly dabbed at my eyes as Lily rubbed my back.

"Shh," she said, implored me to stop before everyone noticed I was upset. "Ella, it's OK."

I shook my head. Things were so, so very far from being OK. "I don't think I can finish eating. I can't swallow!"

"OK, ok you don't have to finish," Lily said, and she pushed my plate away. When my mother looked our way, concern on her face, Lily said, "She's fine. Just full."

"Baby, you barely ate," Mom said, and Dad looked away from his conversation with Andy.

"I don't want anymore."

Dad cleared his throat. "Ella, I was thinking of taking Riley to the RiverCourt. Why don't you come too?" The hope in his brilliant blue eyes was hard to ignore.

I didn't want to go. I wanted to go back to my room, crawl under the covers and cry until it knocked me out. Then I looked out and saw my family, and I couldn't help but think that this moment–bonding with my father and little brother–was bigger than me. So, I whispered, "OK."

"We can get a head start," Lily offered, as she wore a small smile. "I'll drive you."

As Lily and I bid goodbye to the table and headed outside to the sidewalk and Grandma Karen's car, I thought I saw a familiar face heading towards us. "Shit," I said, looked at Lily.

"What?" she asked, looked to the person approaching us. "...Who's that?"

"Ella?" Debbie Ruiz, an old friend that Adrian and I shared from Tree Hill High, who was now a first year student at the University of North Carolina at Asheville, stood with her hair dyed black, short and blown out right in front of me. "Oh my God!" she reached to hug me, and I had no choice but to awkwardly hug back. "It's so good to see you! How are you?"

"Doing well," I answered, a straight ass lie. "How are you doing? Back in town for break?"

"Yeah! Five weeks!" She patted my arm with an excited air. "I was going to text you! Every year I throw a New Years Eve party. You and Adrian should come! Please come, it'll be so fun."

"Oh, I don't–"

"I've been texting Adrian, but we haven't figured out a time to hang out yet. He must be distracted and consumed by you still," she said, a smile on her face. She meant well, I know that, but I still felt sick. "Well, anyway. You let me know, OK? Oh, and Merry Christmas, Chica!"

"Merry Christmas," I said, suddenly feeling out of breath. I watched her walk away and didn't say a thing until I was safely in the passenger seat of my grandmother's car, Lily behind the wheel. I looked at Lily, and she looked at me. "Yeah...there's no way I'm going to that party."

"That was quick."

"Well! She has _no_ idea about Adrian and me and this stupid break. If she knew, she probably wouldn't have invited me." I watched her. "OK. Say what you want to say."

Lily shrugged. "Nothing. It just...I don't know. It might be fun to show up there classy and over it."

"But I'm not over it. I'm not even close." Lily pulled away from the curb and began driving down the road, beginning our journey to the RiverCourt. "Screw dating politics. He hurt me. Don't I have a goddamn right to feel bad?"

"Yeah...but–"

"I _don't_ want to play these stupid games. If he wants space from me, he's gonna get it."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

At this time of year, the RiverCourt was desolate, save from frequent visits from members of my family–especially my dad. Since he practically grew up on this court, there was no way he was going to leave it behind, even if others preferred to flock to other flashier parks in the neighborhood. Dad thought the RiverCourt's age was part of its charm.

Dad had brought along a small plastic hoop for Riley that he stowed away in the trunk of his black Ford Escape. He set it on one side of the court, Riley holding onto his hand.

Mom and I watched on the bleachers, Miles sitting on Mom's lap. Miles continued with his adorable, yet nonsensical, babbling, smiling big at his mommy. When he noticed his aunt Lily, Miles' smile only grew, and together they played a game where Lily made a sound and Miles tried to replicate it.

"OK, Riley," Dad said, bending down low on his haunches. "Here's the ball." The blue ball had images of Bugs Bunny on it. Lucas bounced it twice on the tarmac. "It's bouncy!"

Riley began to laugh at his dad's expression. "Bouncy ball!"

Dad laughed, too. He caught the ball in his hands and pointed to the drawing of Bugs Bunny. "Who's that? Who is that, buddy?"

"Bugs Bunny, Daddy," Riley smirked, his blue eyes lighting up.

"Good job!" Dad bounced the ball again. "Come here," he said, motioning with his hands towards the plastic hoop. "See that? That's called a hoop. Daddy wants you to try and put the ball in the hoop! Here, watch." Still sitting on his haunches, Dad easily threw the ball through the small hoop. He watched Riley smile wide, and he laughed. He collected the ball and gave it to his oldest son. "OK, now you try!" He let Riley bounce the ball a few times. He got behind him, put his massive hands over his son's little ones. We anticipated that Riley would begin to fidget or whine, but instead he just watched and listened.

Mom began to pat my leg. "Ella, are you getting this!? Film this!"

I quickly reached into the pouch of my UPENN hoodie for my phone, and put it on video. I aimed it at my dad and little brother and hit record. In a flurry, the weight of this moment began to sink in. I was about to witness Riley make his first basket.

"Raise the ball up like this," Dad said, his soothing voice flowing into Riley's little ear. Together they raised the ball up into the air, their united grip firm. "There you go. Now…." Dad guided Riley to aim the ball, pushing it back. I could tell it was mostly Dad doing the work, but it was still wonderful to see. Dad let go and said, "Ok, try and shoot, Ri!"

Riley raised the ball over his head and lunged it towards the hoop. We were all expecting him to miss, to be honest.

Except he didn't.

My jaw legit dropped onto the floor, and Dad's arms raised into the air.

Lily began clapping, Miles began giggling, and knowing my mom, she was probably crying.

"His first basket!" Dad called over to us. He looked so damn proud. Riley was hugging him hard, his short arms wrapped around Dad's neck.

"Wait, don't move!" Lily said, and she got up from the bleachers and snapped a photograph of Dad and Riley with their huge, endearing smiles.

"Yay," Mom said, "You got that on video, right?!"

"I got it," I said, hitting end record. "I got it."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

" _And I missed it?!"_ Uncle Nathan exclaimed, as we sat in his living room.

Shortly after Riley made the basket, Mom got a call from Aunt Haley, who invited us over to drink eggnog and watch all our favorite Christmas movies together, and just catch up. Naturally we told them all about Riley's exciting accomplishment at the RiverCourt with Dad at his side.

"Way to go, Riley!" Uncle Nathan's smile was adorable as he ruffled his nephew's hair.

"We have it on video, Uncle Nathan," I said, taking a sip of my eggnog.

"Yeah, Ella got it," Lily said.

"Well, let's see it then! Hold on, I'll hook up the phone to the TV."

"I'll help you, Dad!" Mattie said, getting up from the love seat. "Ella, you have an I-Phone, right?"

"Yes." I reached for my phone, unlocked it and handed it to my cousin.

Once the video was uploaded to my uncle's laptop, and the laptop hooked up to the television, the family gathered around to watch what we witnessed first hand earlier. They cheered as the ball went into the basket.

"Aw," Uncle Nathan said, as he sat next to Aunt Haley. "That is awesome. Riley! That's you, nephew!"

Riley was drinking just a bit of eggnog from his sippy cup from where he sat on Lily's lap. He began laughing seeing himself on screen, and we started laughing, too.

"Ella!" I turned to see my aunt Haley. Luckily I heard her, which doesn't usually happen when I stare off into space. "Wanna help me make the popcorn?"

"Sure," I said. Mom handed me my crutches, and I pushed up. I have to admit, even though Joshua threw me to the wolves and made me walk with crutches my _first day_ of PT, I got accustomed to them. It was still slightly uncomfortable, and I had to walk slow, but I was walking.

"You're looking great, sweetie," Aunt Haley said. I could see the sincerity in her eyes. "I'm really proud of you."

I shifted on my toes. "Thanks."

"So, how's school?" Despite the fact that Aunt Haley was a teacher at Tree Hill High and I was a senior there, we didn't see each other much on the daily, and obviously the powers that be weren't going to put me in Aunt Haley's class.

"It's alright," I answered. "Keeps me busy I guess."

"Yeah," she said, her voice soft and velvet like. "How are you doing otherwise?"

"I'm fine," I lied.

Aunt Haley sensed she wasn't going to get much outta me today, and nodded. "Well, I'm here if you ever wanna talk, OK?"

"OK." I added in a fake smile for good measure. "Thanks."

"Always." She opened the pantry door and grabbed the popcorn. "Go ahead and choose the drinks!"

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

We all gathered by the television in the living room, spread out either on the floor with blankets, or on the love seat, or massive couch. For our film, the kids chose the original _Miracle on 34_ _th_ _Street,_ much to my mom's delight.

"I used to watch this with Grandma Anna during Christmastime," Mom said, as she sat snuggled on the couch next to my dad and myself on the other side. The baby monitor she'd brought along from home blinked, just in case we needed to hear Miles who was napping in the other room. "Remember, Dad?"

"I remember," Grandpa answered. Uncle Nathan had encouraged Grandpa to put his feet up and 'get comfortable.' So he did, his feet propped on the ottoman, a glass of eggnog in his hand. "Your mother loved this movie. Aw… I miss that woman so much."

A profound quiet washed over the room. I looked over and saw Mom's lips twist in a slight frown, sadness enter her eyes. Dad leaned over and kissed Mom on her temple–any moron could see that she needed consoling.

"She's always with you, Larry," Aunt Haley said, from where she sat next to Uncle Nathan. 25 years of marriage and my aunt and uncle still cuddled and held hands.

"Yeah," Mattie spoke up, holding Olivia in his lap. "She's in your heart."

I let out a breath, tears in my eyes. I often think of how I never got to meet Grandma Anna, and how I never got to meet Ellie, either. I wonder what they would say to me now, with this constant pain pressing up against my chest; this need to fucking cry every few minutes; this floating sensation that carried me as though my feet are no longer on solid ground.

I reached over and grabbed my mom's hand, and she held on tight as the film commenced.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

 _Christmas Day, 2029_

One of the things Lucas absolutely loved, since he was a child, was Christmas morning. Karen went out of her way to make it extra special for the two of them, and then there was the visit from Keith in a Santa hat.

Since Lucas married Peyton and they had children, it gave Christmas a whole new wonderful, magnificent meaning. There was nothing like waking up his wife, whispering _Merry Christmas, baby_ , in her ear and kissing her there until her eyes fluttered open. Nothing like hearing Ella's lopsided pitter patter down the hallway at the crack of dawn to bring them downstairs to open gifts, her eyes beautifully green and full of magic. With the addition of Riley, it only got better. They sit cuddled up by the fireplace, reading a brand new book together. They'd spend the morning being lazy, until Peyton had to migrate to the kitchen to prepare for company and Christmas dinner.

It was with those thoughts that Lucas rolled over in bed, wrapped one arm around his wife and pulled her close. He reached over and kissed the back of her ear. "Merry Christmas, baby…."

Peyton let out a breath, opened her eyes to the feel of Lucas' muscular chest pressed against her back, his strong arm around her belly. She let him brush hair from her neck as he kissed her there in a spot that always had her gasping out loud. She turned in bed only to kiss him on the mouth several times. "Merry Christmas, Luke," she whispered back, and their eyes met. She reached up to run her hand down his cheek. "It's Miles' first Christmas!"

"Yeah it is," Lucas smiled at his wife's enthusiasm, which led to more kisses.

Peyton looked over Lucas' shoulder at the clock on the night table. "8am, not as early this year, babe."

"I know! Crazy, huh? I kinda like it." Lucas pressed his fingers into the fabric of Peyton's red holiday nightie, kissed her deeply. He heard her moan only slightly and he rubbed his body against hers the same time his tongue slipped into her mouth. Her long fingers threaded his hair, as his crept up the hem of her nightie and grazed the bare skin of her thigh. He grinned at her when they pulled away for only a second, and she him. "You're still so beautiful, sweetheart," he whispered to her.

She rolled her eyes, her cheeks colored at the compliment. He kissed her cheekbones, and then her lips. There they stayed, wrapped in each other and hidden from the whole world, until Lucas heard the distinct sounds footsteps.

He exhaled and pulled away, being sure to put the covers over his waist. "Well, that's them."

"How do you know?" Peyton asked, her lips slightly swollen, her hair disheveled, and the left strap of her nightie off her shoulder. She had one hand on his chest. _Fuck, she was stunning._

"Honey, who else would it be?" Just as Peyton was about to call out to them, he adjusted so he was fully under the duvet cover. "Just a second." He pressed her hand over his erection and her eyebrows shot up as she smirked. "Wait a second, please. They'll knock."

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

With the crutches, my pace to my parent's bedroom was too slow for little Riley, who had run up the hallway barefoot in his Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer pajamas. "Riley!" I hissed after him. "Wait."

"Ella," he said, watched me walk.

"I'm coming, my baby." I chuckled to myself as Riley wrapped his right hand around my black crutch once I made it to the closed bedroom door. I remembered that Riley was too short to reach the handle. "OK, remember the rule? We have to knock first. Knock." Together, we knocked on the door a couple times.

"Mama! Daddy!"

"Tell them it's Christmas, Ri! Say that Santa came."

"Santa came!"

"Come in!" Came Dad's voice, and I reached to turn the door handle. I found my parents sitting up in their bed, huge smiles on their faces at seeing us. "Merry Christmas!" they chorused. Mom looked so happy.

She opened her arms, and Dad reached down to put Riley on the bed, since it was too high for him to climb up. "Merry Christmas, my sweetheart!" she said, covering Riley's face in kisses. "Santa came, didn't he?"

"Ya! Santa's here."

"Yay," Mom cheered, and she laughed as Ri settled on her lap. Meanwhile I had taken the empty seat next to Dad, who'd just kissed my temple.

"Merry Christmas, pumpkin pie."

"Merry Christmas, Dad," I said. It was hard not to smile at the look on Ri's face, the utter glee in Mom's eyes, and the calmness of this morning. Dad brushed his thumb against my cheek and winked at me. Soon after, my parents got out of bed, Dad wearing a white and red striped shirt and Mom wearing her red nightie. Dad went to get Miles from his crib, and together we made our way downstairs.

Grandpa Larry was already up with Grandma Karen. The only one still sleeping was Lily.

Grandpa opened his arms and Riley ran into them. "Merry Christmas!" he boomed, laughing freely and kissing Riley on his head. "Look what Santa brought you!" Together, grandfather and grandson moved to the Christmas tree, which was brilliant and glowing in all its glory, presents stacked underneath in a neat display.

After Lily woke up and the adults had at least one cup of coffee, we all gathered around the tree to open presents. I was determined not to think about Adrian, and instead spend the day emotionally present. To be honest, it was really fucking hard, waking up this morning without one of his amazing holiday text messages.

"OK, Ella, this is for you," Mom said, holding a wrapped present in my direction. "From Mom and Dad."

The gift was a music book full of piano sheet music from all the jazz greats. "Wow, thanks so much," I said. "Awesome." I blew my parents a kiss from where I sat. "Have Grandpa open a gift now!"

Dad motioned to a gift covered by a garbage bag (it was too big to wrap). He got up and moved it from the wall and told Grandpa, "Uncover it, Larry."

Larry reached over and took off the garbage bag with a helping hand from Dad, and when he realized the gift was a brand new Samsung Smart television for his bedroom, his eyebrows shot up and he sat up straight, stared at Mom. "Are you _crazy?"_ he demanded, though it was obvious he was happy about it. We all began to laugh, and luckily Lily was filming this on our video camera.

"You're welcome, Dad," Mom said, chuckling. She made her way over the mess of torn paper and ribbon to give embrace her father, with Miles in her arms.

"You're crazy," he said, wrapped his arms around her.

"Grandpa, say thank you."

"Thank you!"

"Now you can watch _Judge Judy_ in HD!" I said, and Grandpa started laughing, his shoulders jiggling in his signature dance move since the stroke.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

The hours melted into the late afternoon/early evening, and everyone was all dressed up as company arrived. This year, Uncle Nathan and Aunt Haley were spending the holiday with Lydia James, Aunt Haley's mom at her house with the James' sisters. So Uncle Julian and Aunt Brooke showed up, along with the kids and Victoria Davis, who didn't like to spend Christmas away from her grandchildren. I really didn't think she was as much of a bitch as everyone said she was, but apparently she cooled down a lot over the years since Natalie was born.

Uncle Derek and Aunt Lisa were also invited with my cousin Aaron. Also on the list was Lisa's mother Dolores Harland (she was in town for the holiday from Chicago), who we'd met several times before and really gelled well with our family. Dolores was fun-loving, gracious, and unbelievably generous. She was really, really close to Lisa, since Lisa's dad left when she was young. She absolutely adored my uncle Derek and was over the moon when she found out they were engaged from what I remember. Her joy only doubled when she found out she was to be a grandmother.

Dinner consisted of a beautiful Christmas ham as its star. We ate, laughed, drank and reminisced. Grandpa Larry and Dolores were getting along splendidly, and were often involved in conversation. With my belly full, and feeling kinda sleepy, I migrated to the front of the tree and admired its twinkly lights.

Lily plopped down next to me. "Sleepy?"

I chuckled, playing with my phone on my lap. "You know me so well."

Just then, my phone went off in my lap with a new message. When my eyes glanced upon its sender, my stomach plummeted and my heart rate spiked. "Fuck," I breathed.

"What?"

"Adrian texted me."

Lily shifted to face me on the couch. "What's it say?"

I read it over to myself three times.

 _Hey.. I know I said we were on a break and we shouldn't talk, but...I don't know. I've been thinking about you all day. How we used to send each other messages at midnight. Give each other gifts. Just be with each other. Your smile. I do miss that. I hope you're having a nice Christmas, Ella._

I looked up at Lily after she read it to herself. "Wow."

I took the phone and after a minute discretely typed the only reply I could think of.

 _Are you drunk?_

"What's going on?" Andre asked, a bottle of beer in his hand. He took a seat next to Lily and put his arm around her.

 _Yeah, a little bit._

Lily showed Andre the thread of texts, and he made an annoyed sucking sound with his teeth. "Please," he said. "So typical to send the drunk sappy _I miss you_ type of text over the holidays. He's just emotional and using it as an excuse to mess with your head, Ella. Don't let him."

"Yeah," Lily agreed. "Don't respond. Do not. You'll just get sucked in."

"OK," I said. Logically, I knew Lily and Andre were absolutely right. Yet emotionally, I wanted to talk to Adrian. Badly. To tell him how much he was fucking hurting me, for one. "OK."

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

 _New Years Eve, 2029_ _4:00_ _pm_

I walked into the parlor by the foyer, crutches and all, to see my parents sitting and admiring the tree, Riley and Miles sitting between them. Grandpa Larry was sitting in the hickory chair _,_ drinking from one of his frozen bottles of water.

"Dad," Mom said, before noticing I was in the doorway. "Why don't you change out of your pajamas?"

Ever since Grandpa's stroke, he lumbered around in any and all pajamas he owned (not all at once), instead of getting dressed. I'd overheard my dad telling my mom that they should talk Larry into getting dressed every day, to help with his spirits. Like this, Grandpa looked unkempt and frankly, sloppy.

"For what?" Grandpa snapped, a frown on his unshaved face.

"You have such nice clothes," Mom continued, ignoring Grandpa's attitude. She pointed at him. "When we go to Brooke's tonight, you better believe your putting something nice on and leaving those rags behind."

Grandpa harshly waved off Mom's comment. "Whatever. I'm not going."

"What do you mean 'you're not going?' You have to go where I go."

"Mark will come get me," Grandpa said, leaning on his cane.

I couldn't help myself; I snickered and the whole room turned to me. I hobbled over to sit on Mom's other side in the empty seat.

"What're you laughing at?" he demanded.

"Grandpa. Uncle Mark is not going to come get you."

"Oh what do you know? You know everything now?"

"About Uncle Mark? I don't know about everything, but I know more than you, apparently." Mom squeezed my thigh, a signal for me to stop. I turned to Mom and changed the subject. "So...I think I'd like to go to that party after all."

"The one that Debbie invited you to?"

"Mhm." I lowered my voice, aware that Grandpa Larry was listening. "If he can go to a party and ring in the new year, I can too. Why should I be the one always wallowing?"

"OK," Mom said, smiled at me. "That's my girl."

"Lily's gonna be proud of me," I said. My stomach began twisting in discomfort and anxiety, but I ignored it. "Debbie said I can bring people if I want, I think I'm gonna call Isa."

"Good idea. That'll be fun!"

"I mean, there's like a 99.9% chance I'll see Adrian, but..."

"If you see him, so what?" Grandpa chimed in. I turned to him, slightly shocked. "You walk right into that party."

"That's right," Dad said, after he sent a smile Grandpa's way. "Your grandfather's absolutely right."

"You don't think I'm playing games?"

Mom scoffed. "Not after he drunk texted you."

"OK," I said, though I still felt uneasy. "OK." I checked my phone for the time. "Geez, I have to figure out what I'm gonna wear!"

-x-x-x- **EGS-** x-x-x

Luckily, Isa was on board with the plan. _"Can I bring Hector?"_ she asked over the phone.

Hector was Isa's boyfriend since last year. They met at one of Isa's mom's art exhibits, and it just so happened that Hector also went to Tree Hill High, we'd just never met him before–and yes, the campus was big enough where stuff like that happened.

Inwardly I cringed. I wasn't exactly planning on being a third wheel. "Sure! Wanna come over and we can get ready together? I need help picking out an outfit."

"Sure, gimme like an hour. Then Hec can pick us up and drive us later."

"Ok, cool. See you soon."

By the time Isa arrived, it was nearing 5:30. My parents were busy getting everyone ready to head over to Aunt Brooke and Uncle Julian's house. The two of us retreated to my room to pick out an outfit. I chose a simple, classic black dress that hugged my curves. As Isa helped me with my makeup, she asked, "So what made you change your mind about going to this party?"

"It wasn't to show him up or anything like that...I don't know, I just… I don't want to spend _all_ my days hiding and in pain. It's New Years Eve...and besides, this isn't about Adrian. This is about seeing an old friend, and ringing in 2030 with my new ones."

Isa smiled. "Sounds good to me."

"And maybe..." I sighed. "Maybe if I confront my fears instead of running from them, it'll help me move forward. Do you know what I'm saying?"

"Yeah, I know what you're sayin'!" Isa laughed at our inside joke. "Even if it isn't about Adrian, I just have to say–you're gonna look so good, he's bound to have some regrets. Don't move!" she yelped when I shook my head in laughter.

"Sorry, sorry!"

With Isa's hand, I made my way downstairs–albeit slowly. The sounds of my Keds and her heels hitting the stairwell alerted my grandfather.

"Wow!" he said, once I hit the landing, holding onto desperately to Isa.

Mom peeked around the corner, and she smiled upon seeing me.

"She's hot, right?" Isa laughed, and Mom nodded.

"Isa did my makeup," I announced.

"I love it! Can you do mine?" Mom joked.

"You look beautiful, kiddo," Dad said, hands in his pockets. He reached over and kissed my forehead. "Rock out and have fun tonight, and be careful. Always watch your drink."

The doorbell rang. It was bound to be Hector.

"Drink?!" Grandpa exclaimed.

Mom and I looked at each other. "OK, goodbye!" I chirped, pulling Isa by the hand and thus evading further questions. I blew kisses to my little brothers.

"We'll be at your aunt Brooke's if you need anything! Love you so much!"

"Love you too!"

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Several cars were piled in Debbie's driveway, and Spanish music blasted from inside the house. "You made it!" Debbie said, opening her arms. She was dressed beautifully in red. "Come on in!" She was so distracted as hostess she didn't even ask me where Adrian was.

I hugged Debbie and said, "These are my good friends Isa and Hector," I told her over the music.

"Welcome!" Debbie said. "Make yourselves at home, there's food and drinks...lots of drinks!" Just like that, Debbie disappeared, and we were left to fend for ourselves.

"Well, let's snag a spot," Hector said, and led Isa by the hand–while also keeping an eye on me in case I needed help. Hector was the tall, dark and handsome type. Sort of like a Hispanic Clark Kent.

"Preferably by the food," I chirped, and Hector laughed.

I sat down on the couch near the food spread, where Hector made me a rum and coke. "Strong, buddy," I said.

"Too strong?"

I sipped on the drink and let it wash down my throat. "Nope!"

Isa laughed at me. "Having fun?"

Just like that, that new Luis Fonsi song came on the stereo, and I looked at her. "You better go dance your song out."

Isa hung her head back, and I playfully pushed her. "Go, you guys. Go be cute." Hector took Isa by the hand and I watched as they joined the other people dancing. I cradled my drink and wasn't alone for too long–as I heard someone call my name. With a pounding heart I looked up, and to my relief, it wasn't _him_. "Jon!"

Jon had a huge grin on his face. His hair was in a buzz cut now. He held out his hand. "No, no, you don't have to get up. I'll sit down." Jon took the seat next to mine, rested his arm on the back of the couch. We hugged and he said, "Wow, you look great!"

"Thanks! You too! It's so great to see you. How have you been?"

Jon began telling me all about West Point. After West Point, Jon was going to the military–something he said he was born to do. "How about you? How's everything?" We had to lean in close to hear each other over the music.

"Things are alright," I said. "I don't know if you know, but I had major leg surgery in August."

"Yeah, I think I saw something on Facebook. How are you feeling?"

"I'm OK...just take it one day at a time."

"That's all you can do." Jon tapped my arm. "Hey, so where's Adrian? I was looking forward to seeing him."

"Oh...um…" I cleared my throat and looked Jon right in his handsome, honest eyes. "Actually, Adrian and I are on a break right now."

Jon's face fell and I watched his mouth gape. "Oh, fuck," he breathed. "I'm sorry. Does Debbie even know that?"

I shook my head no. "It's really OK."

"...Are you sure? Because I think she's expecting to see him, too."

"It's fine. Tonight's not about him."

"Feel like talking about it?"

"Not really." I patted Jon's leg. "Thanks for asking, though."

Jon put his hand over my manicured one. "Of course."

 _Yo, Jon!_ Came a shout from across the room.

"I'll be right back," he said. "But hey, enjoy yourself. Let loose."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

After another drink, I slowly began to make my way to the restroom. I insisted I was OK, the drinks only beginning to hit me. At the restroom, inevitably there was a line, and I was forced to wait on it.

"Ella," Debbie called. Concern was all over her face. " _I am so sorry!"_

"Don't worry about it," I said, held out my hand. "Jon told you?" Debbie nodded. "...He's coming, isn't he?"

"I don't know!" Debbie answered, frazzled. "I text him before I knew, and he hasn't answered yet." She looked at me. "What do you want me to do, here?"

I thought about it. "Nothing," I decided. "Do nothing. Tonight's not about him and me. Seriously. I didn't mean to drag you into this."

"No, no. It's fine. I just don't want you or him to be uncomfortable..."

"If we run into each other, we probably will be," I told her honestly. "But it will be alright. I think." _I think that was the rum talking._

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

The hours passed, and soon it was nearing 9:30pm. After lots of catching up, picture-taking, people watching, I sat in the same spot, cradling my third rum and coke (which I sipped slowly). I insisted it was alright that Isa and Hector go mingle, possibly disappear for a bit. I could hold my own. Carefully, I got up, and decided to switch spots. I crossed the room into the next one, when a rough force knocked into me.

"My fault!" came the slurred voice. I began to trip, sway. I was falling.

A strong pair of arms grabbed me. I knew that grip from anywhere. I turned. It was him.

"Dude, watch where you're going!" he said, glared the guy down. _My fault,_ he said again. "...Are you OK?"

I ripped away from his hold. I didn't want to feel anything with his arms around me. "I'm fine."

Adrian watched me, dressed in a blue and gray button down and dark wash jeans with Clarks. I noted he wasn't wearing any cologne. He swallowed. "You look nice."

I shook my head, and began walking away from him. He didn't follow me. I made my way across the house to Debbie's back porch, sat down in the wicker chair, and let the slight breeze sober me up. I'm not sure how much time went by that I spent sitting there–but eventually I was no longer alone.

"Ella?"

I looked up to see Adrian standing there. I swallowed hard to calm my pounding heart, my shaky hands. "What?" I whispered, and my whisper was pained.

He sighed. "Look, I….I just wanted to apologize. I never should have sent you that text. I was drunk."

"That's not an excuse."

"I know."

"Do you?" I challenged, then shook my head. "God, Adrian, why the _fuck_ are you making this so hard?" I stared at him, and I realized that all I'd been wanting to tell him began to bubble to the surface. "You're making me feel like...feel like I'm not worth it." I held my hand so he wouldn't interrupt me. "Making me feel like I wasn't worth fighting through it for, like I was somebody you could just cast aside. After everything we've been through, after all I've done for you, how much I love you. I don't understand how you could do this...how could you–how could you have _screwed me_ when you knew the entire time that you were going to initiate this break?!"

Adrian sighed a heavy sigh. "OK...I should _not_ have done that. I fucked up."

I shook my head. "You just wanted sex!"

" _No. No._ That's not true. I wanted to be with you."

"What, one last time?" I asked him, quite harshly.

"I fucked up. Ella, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to mess with your head."

"That was so selfish," I said, tears in my eyes. "This whole break thing is selfish. Why would you just leave me hanging like this?"

"Because I love you too much to let you go completely," he said, shrugging. "Yes, it is selfish. But I'm OK with that."

I stared at him. "Do you realize how fucking painful it is to be in love with you, and not be able to be with you? Not to be dramatic, but I've never been in so much pain. Ever. Not even when I almost drowned in my uncle's pool."

He seemed stunned.

"Do you know what it takes to even _get out of bed?"_ I asked him, being sure to enunciate every word. "But how could you know, right? You can't know, because you haven't been in my life–and whose fault is that?"

Tears were flowing freely down my face now, and I was shaking.

He let out a deep shattered breath. "I..."

"Don't say anything else," I begged him, my hand up. "Don't say anything else."

I tried to memorize every detail of his face, with the feeling that I wouldn't see it for a while. His dimples. The slight curve of his chin. The stubble on his cheeks. His long eyelashes. The birthmark under his right eye. When I was done, I whispered, "Please go."

"What?" he breathed.

"Go. Because I'm only four months post-op, drunk and emotional. I can't fucking walk. Just go, please!"

"Ella, I'm not going to–"

"GO!" I shouted, the first time I ever truly raised my voice at him in three years together. "Just go, get out, have the freedom you...you want."

"OK..." he raised both hands. "OK." He shook his head, turned his back and left me there.

Being the only person on the back porch, I began to sob, digging the heel of my palm into my eyelids. I sat hunched over, cried until I couldn't breathe. The alcohol flowed through me, time evaded me, and again–I wasn't sure how long it was until Isabel and Hector showed up. One got on either side, consoled me. Only when I finally calmed down did they take me to Hector's car and drive me to Aunt Brooke's house.

We got to Aunt Brooke's place, and everyone was laughing and having a good time. They turned to see me, my mother surprised, but also not surprised at all...and that's how my evening ended up: with a hug from Natalie, and being surrounded by my family–Isa and Hector included.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-


	12. Use Somebody

_Chapter Eleven_

Use Somebody

 _New Years Eve, 2029 10:45pm_

 _As Hector pulled up to my aunt's house, we idled in the driveway for a minute. "You OK?"_

 _"Could you wait a second?" I asked, took a deep breath. The idea of going in to see my family in this state made me want to throw up–so I didn't want to. A few minutes passed. "OK, we can go in."_

 _"You're sure."_

 _"Mhm." I opened the car door and climbed out on shaky legs to face my family, as though nothing ever happened at Debbie's house._

-x-

 _"Another New Years with you," Lucas whispered in his wife's ear, swooped up behind her to plant a kiss to her cheek. This time it was him carrying the baby monitor that would alert the both of them to Miles' cries._

 _"I know," Peyton replied, both her hands resting on his chest._

 _Lucas brushed her hair behind her ear. "You need anything? Something else to eat? Some more water?"_

 _"I'm fine." They began to sway together, in rhythm with the music playing on Brooke's stereo. Peyton rested her head against Lucas' chest, felt his heartbeat in her ear and swore to memorize the sound. "Do you need anything?"_

 _He looked down at her, his voice gentle, and said, "Just you."_

 _They shared a long kiss before getting interrupted by Brooke, who was carrying Riley in her arms. "Sorry," she said. "Ella's here."_

 _"Already?" Lucas asked, checked the watch on his wrist. "It's only almost 11."_

 _"Uh oh," Peyton said. She offered to take Riley from Brooke who refused–insisting she wanted more quality time with her nephew. She took Lucas' hand and they both greeted their daughter and her two friends. "What happened?"_

 _"She doesn't wanna talk," Isa said, held out her hand. "She just...wants to be with you guys."_

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

 _Thursday, January 10_ _th_ _, 2030 8:45pm_

Tonight, Mom was off to Los Angeles for a super important annual beginning-of-year meeting with Sire Records–which meant she'd have to somehow stand to be with John Knight for a few days. I knew she secretly despised him, but she'd never admit that to me.

"OK," Mom said, as she took a breath and turned to us in the foyer. "I have to go." She waited until Riley and Miles were sleeping to leave for the airport–leaving while they were awake would've been just too hard. So it was just me and Grandma Karen she was saying goodbye to–Dad was driving her to the airpot and would say goodbye then.

"Have fun, Mama," I said, and I let go of Dad to give my mother a hug. She squeezed me tight and close to her, and I was able to inhale her comforting and unique scent, hear the dangle of her bracelets that hung on her wrist. "You're gonna do great!"

"I know," Mom said back, sticking her tongue out at me. "Listen to your father and your grandmother."

"Got it," I said, having heard this spiel countless times.

"OK," Mom said again. I saw the tears in her eyes before she realized it herself. "Ugh; I hate leaving my babies..." she wiped at her eyes. "OK, Luke, let's get out of here before I change my mind and refuse to leave."

Dad chuckled, made sure I was steady by the wall, grabbed Mom's red travel bag, and together they left for the airport.

"Well...guess it's just you and me, kiddo." Grandma offered her arm, and I grabbed onto it. I looked back at the front door. The house already seemed so empty without Mom here.

"Sure...you, me, Grandpa, and the boys," I teased. Together, we walked arm and arm down to the kitchen. The plan was to have dessert–apricots dipped in chocolate–and catch up. I did feel bad for not being able to spend as much time with her lately...and being so consumed with heartache and high school drama. Needless to say, I was excited to spend time with my grandma.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Lucas pulled up to the terminal, got out of the car to help his wife with her luggage. "You're stressed," he said, continuing the conversation from the ride over.

"Yes. Yes I am," Peyton said, as she shook her head. "I hate this. Who do I think I am, flying out when I have my babies, my dad, and my...you?" she pouted, and Lucas wanted nothing more than to kiss that pout away.

"Your husband?" he asked, as he handed her her bag, which she slung over her shoulder. "It's just for the weekend, Peyton. Everything will be fine; I'll make sure of it. You just work hard and have fun, alright? But not too much fun."

"Love of my life," she said, before leaning in and kissing him amidst the mess of all those cars and travelers. "Ugh. I'm gonna miss you!"

He saw the tears in her eyes and his heart hurt a little. "I'll miss you too, baby. Monday night will get here before we know it." He kissed her again, this time a bit deeper and more passionate than the last. "Call me and let me know as soon as you land."

"Of course." She blew him a kiss and waved, and walked into the airport. Peyton hadn't even taken off yet, and Lucas watched her, already counting down the days until her return home.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

 _Friday, January 11_ _th_ _, 2030_

One thing Peyton loved about Los Angeles, (California, really) was the heat and sunny weather. Except, she didn't like it so much when she was forced to be stuck inside with her miserable former boss, John Knight going over prospects.

He sat across from her at the conference table, rested his foot on the edge of the furniture. "It's good to see you, Sawyer."

"Scott," Peyton amended. She really couldn't help herself. She showed her left hand, which proudly bore both her engagement and wedding rings. "I'm married; remember?"

A sly smirk spread across John's face. "Right." He adjusted himself on the chair and both his feet hit the floor. "How's it feel being back at Sire?"

"Same as it's always felt," Peyton answered.

"No...nostalgia?"

Peyton set down her pen and looked her old boss in the eye. "Nostalgia for what exactly? Fetching you Aspirin and lunch menus?"

John began to chuckle. "Alright. Feeling cold, I see." He swiped his finger across his face. "You know, Sawyer, you did start out here."

"I'm well aware of that," Peyton said. She stole a glance at the digital clock on the wall. She'd been holed up with John and two of his assistants since 8:00am, and it was nearing 12 noon now. She just couldn't take anymore of his snide, cynical commentary about Red Bedroom and life in general, particularly his frightening and gross views on women, which he so inappropriately brought up–much to the chagrin of his assistants and Peyton herself. "Please don't call me Sawyer anymore, John. For the second time, I'm married..and I'm not your assistant. I don't work for you. It's been I don't know how many years since I've worked for you."

John tried hard not to crack a sarcastic smile. "What would you prefer I call you?"

"Just...call me Peyton."

"Alright," he said. He turned to his assistants, who said not a word. "Are you both getting this? No more Sawyer. She has spoken." He began to laugh, and not in a gracious way. "Who wants lunch?"

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

 _Saturday, January 12_ _th_ _, 2030_

Today's Adrian's 19th Birthday. Usually, I would start the day off with a sentimental text that he would see the moment he woke up. I'd probably try and bake him a cake or something, just spend the day with him.

Instead I woke up–slept in a bit–and lumbered into the kitchen to pour myself a bowl of cereal. Grandpa Larry was in the kitchen also, making coffee for himself. Dad was reading the _New York Times_ at the table, Riley on his lap, Miles sitting in the feeding chair.

"C'mon Riley, eat," Dad coaxed.

Riley shook his head, and began banging his little hands on the table. "No!"

"Riley, you have to eat breakfast," Dad said. "Here." Dad cut up the banana into Riley's bowl of Cheerios. "Yummy!"

"No!" Riley cried again, and he swiped his arm to smack the bowl and send the Cheerios and milk spilling everywhere, making a complete mess.

"Riley," Dad groaned, sighing. "Buddy..." Riley began to laugh. I watched as Dad tried very hard to keep a straight face. How could he stay mad at that laugh? "Riley, you can't do that. Ma, could you–"

"I'll get them both cleaned up." Grandma got Riley out of his chair, then picked up Miles and brought them both upstairs for bath time with some impressive coaxing.

Dad exhaled, and turned to me. "Good morning, honey."

"Morning." I took a bite of my cereal. It tasted unusually bland. Meanwhile Grandpa was pouring himself a cup of the weak coffee he liked.

"How's today?" Dad's question was gentle and patient.

I exhaled, and looked him in the eye. "Today's his 19th birthday." I dipped my spoon into my bowl of cereal and watched as the sweetened milk dripped off the spoon, listened to the sound that followed.

Out of the corner of my eye, I heard Grandpa's careful footsteps as he shuffled over to us, carrying his mug of coffee. I watched as all of a sudden, Grandpa's hand began to tremble violently.

"Grandpa?" I asked, and Dad turned too.

The hot coffee began to splash onto the kitchen floor, and Grandpa let out those all too familiar strangled moans.

"Oh, shit," I breathed. Fear grew in my eyes.

Dad got up from his chair. He walked up to Grandpa and asked, his voice full of concern, "Larry, are you OK?"

Grandpa began to fall backwards.

"Dad!" I shouted.

"Whoa, Larry!" Dad reached out and grabbed Grandpa right before he hit the floor and began to seize in my father's arms. Dad carefully put Grandpa on his side. "Ella, call 911!"

I froze. I fucking froze!

"Ella!" Dad yelled. "Do it!"

I reached into the pocket of my sweatshirt for my phone and dialed 911, turning away from all the commotion.

"Good," Dad said, once EMS hung up. He was still by Grandpa's side. "Grandma took her phone upstairs with her. Call her and tell her. Go on."

Dad knew I couldn't go up the stairs very fast, or at all really. I dialed Grandma, she answered–was very calm–and said she'd be right down as soon as the boys were done with their baths.

We waited and waited, the minutes stretching.

"….Should I call Aunt Brooke?"

"Yes," Dad answered, right as EMS finally came through the open front door. "Hurry."

Aunt Brooke picked up on the third ring. _"Hi mama, what's up?"_

"Aunt Brooke, you need to come over! Grandpa Larry had another seizure!"

 _"What?!...OK, I'm in the car; I'll be right over."_

-x-x-x- **EGS-** x-x-x-

"Oh boy." Aunt Brooke breathed out those two words as she set her handbag on the kitchen table. She'd arrived just as EMS was putting Grandpa Larry into an ambulance.

"Aunt Brooke," I said. "I think we need to tell my mom."

Dad ran out of the house with only so much as a hello in Aunt Brooke's direction. It was just the two of us, with Grandma keeping the boys occupied so they wouldn't panic.

Aunt Brooke checked her phone. "It's 11:30am now, 8:30am over there. I bet your mom is up and at 'em already–let's call her."

I nodded and took out my phone, dialing Mom's cell. "She's not picking up. Do you think she's in her big meeting already?"

"Possibly. Leave a message."

"'Hey Mom, call me when you get this, OK? It's important. Bye.'" I looked at my aunt. "I didn't feel right telling her over a machine."

"No, you did a good job."

"Thanks for coming over so fast," I said, sent her a smile for good measure.

"Of course," Aunt Brooke answered. "Did you eat breakfast?"

"I just had some cereal."

"Do you want anything else? I can make you some eggs."

"Lost my appetite," I said. "I'm fine, really. I'm thinking we should meet my dad at the hospital."

Aunt Brooke opened her arms. "Come here." I edged into her embrace, let her kiss the top of my head. "I'm proud of you."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

We found Dad in the subdued hospital hallway, talking with a doctor who I presumed was taking care of my grandfather. "Dad..."

He turned, and looked shocked to see me. "Hey," he said. "What're you doing here? Who's watching–"

"Grandma's got them," I finished. "She called Andy to come help."

"You didn't have to come all the way here, honey..."

"Yes I did." I turned back to my aunt and squeezed her hand in thanks. "So, what's going on?"

The doctor shared a glance with Dad, before he went on to discuss Grandpa's status. "We'll have to adjust his medication again."

Dad let out an exasperated sigh. "I just wish there was a way this could be prevented."

The doctor nodded. "I understand it's frustrating, but this is the only way we as doctors can figure out the best medication regimen for your father-in-law. Obviously now we know the Keppra dosage from before was too low and not aggressive enough, so now we raise it."

Dad crossed his arms. "And what about his Warfarin?"

"I see no reason to change the dosage on his Warfarin from how it was changed right after his stroke. Remember that that's the medication keeping Mr. Sawyer from having _another_ stroke. It's an anticoagulant. Keppra is the anti-convulsive medication."

"It's just seems cruel to me that my father-in-law has to suffer while you guys just figure it out," Dad said, and he scoffed.

"It's unfortunate, Mr. Scott, but this is the way it is."

"Thank you for that."

I turned away, the conversation getting too intense. My grandfather lay asleep in the hospital bed, and I tiptoed into the room slowly–I was still getting used to being on crutches again. I sat by Grandpa's side, gently taking his hand into my own.

Soon his eyes fluttered open. "Ella..."

"Yeah?" I asked, the sound of my own voice unrecognizable from the fear.

"….What happened to me?"

"You don't remember?" He shook his head. "You had a seizure, Grandpa...but you're OK."

He watched me, his brown eyes boring into my green ones. "You saved my life again."

Tears filled my eyes. "I was just at the right place at the right time, that's all."

"No," he said gently. "That's not all."

"Well, if you wanna thank anybody, thank Dad." I smiled at him, squeezed his hand against mine. "I'm glad you're OK, Grandpa."

He smiled, though it was a weak one. "Me too!"

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Just a few moments after Peyton returned to her hotel room, at around 9pm her time, she received a call from Lucas. "Hi, babe," she spoke into the phone. "I just got in; I'm so exhausted. How are you? How's everyone?"

 _"I need to tell you something, honey."_

Peyton could tell something was off by the sound in his voice. "What's wrong?"

 _"Your father had a seizure this morning. He's OK, but they're keeping him in the hospital until at least tomorrow or maybe even the day after that."_

"Oh my God...oh my God. What happened?" Peyton listened intently as her husband explained the whole story. "So they adjusted his medication again?"

 _"They did."_

Peyton exhaled, ran a hand over her weary face. "I have–I have to come home."

 _"Peyton..."_

"No, Lucas. There's no debate or argument here. I'm coming home. I'll be on the first flight out tomorrow." She sank into the chair by the window overlooking a piece of Los Angeles. "Shit. John's going to love this."

 _"Well, if he gives you a hard time, you tell him exactly what you just told me. He's been giving you bullshit since you first started working with him, babe, and it's not right. You're founder and CEO of Red Bedroom, NOT him. YOU made it what it is today, NOT him. If he so desperately needs a rep out in LA for times like this–that you fear you can't leave because of a family emergency–he can call Miranda. You have us, and you have your father to take care of. Not to be curt, but Miranda doesn't. All her family's in London. That's it."_

Peyton reflected back to her early days in Los Angeles, when she was working as an intern for John, and would at times sneak into his office to check out his view. "I feel that John still treats me like I'm assistant to the assistant to the label President."

 _"Tell John to go fuck himself if he treats you as though you're somehow beneath him. You worked so hard to get where you are, and you deserve some recognition for that. You're not the assistant to the assistant anymore, and he needs a damn reality check. I'm sorry, sweetheart, I know he's your colleague….I've just always hated the guy."_

Peyton smiled softly into the phone, even though Lucas couldn't see it. "…I love you, Luke."

 _"I love you too, baby. I just want you to know that I support your decision to come home tomorrow, and we'll all be waiting for you."_

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

 _Monday, January 14_ _th_ _, 2030_

I was sitting on the quad, listening to music when I saw Sheff walking towards me. "Hey," he said, waited a few seconds for me to take my earbuds out of my ear.

"Hey." I was happy my eyes were covered by my sunglasses on this particularly sunny day. "What's up?"

Sheff took a seat next to me at the table, hooked his thumbs behind the straps of his backpack. "Not much."

We shared a few meaningless lines about how school was going, and I suddenly found myself so very bored and...unsatisfied. "...Do you wanna get outta here?"

"Ella Scott skipping school? Never thought I'd see the day."

"I'm serious..." I held a vulnerability in my eyes that he absorbed. "What do you think?"

Sheff watched me for a second. "Let's do it." He held out his hand, and I reluctantly took it. He pulled me up and I grabbed my crutches. Once we got to Sheff's car, he buckled his seatbelt and asked, "Where do you wanna go? The mall?"

I laughed in a humorless way. "No. I have an idea."

Sheff stuck the key in the ignition, and the car's engine roared awake. "Lead the way."

I guided Sheff to the marina near my grandfather's condo. We walked along the boardwalk and stopped at my grandfather's boat, one he hadn't occupied as of late, yet mentioned often. "We're here."

"This boat's yours?" he gaped, pointed at it.

"It's my grandpa's. Are you gonna help me climb in or not?"

Sheff offered his hand, and together we climbed onto my grandfather's boat, carefully of course. He watched as I reached into my backpack for the keys. "You just carry those around with you or what?"

"Nope." I stuck the key in the lock to the cabin and opened the door. "Swiped the keys from my dad's office earlier."

Sheff started laughing, almost in disbelief. "You little thief!" We entered the cabin and I shut the door behind me, turned on the lights. "….Nice." I headed to the expensive liquor cabinet and opened it, pulled out a bottle of Don Q. "Whoa."

Now, believe it or not, my intention was _not_ to bang Sheff Morgan in the cabin of my grandfather's boat. My intention was to get drunk. "Do you want some?"

Sheff sat down on the bed. "I have to drive. I'll just have a Cola."

I opened the mini fridge and mixed the Cola with the Don Q, adding crushed ice and a wedge of lime for myself, and poured a Cola with ice for Sheff. I sat next to him on the bed and kicked off my shoes. "I don't think we've ever hung out like this before."

"That's what I've been saying!" He took a sip of his soda. "Why is that?"

"I dunno. I could ask the same of you."

"Fair enough." He adjusted so his back was up against the wall of the cabin, and I did the same. "So. What's been going on with you?"

"You know. I finished up applying to colleges; I'm trying to pass high school; all while learning to walk again. The usual."

"Right. How's that going?"

Another sip of my drink. "It's OK."

"Just OK?"

"Well! It is what it is. Every recovery is different. I will say that the pain hasn't been so bad, to be honest. The more frustrating part is relearning the actual walking." I let the drink slide down my throat, watched as the ice clinked together.

"You think you'll be able to walk without crutches ever?"

I looked my friend in the eye. "...I don't know."

I could see that my admission hit him pretty hard. "But you'll try?"

I swallowed, and it seemed like my answer was more for Sheff's sake than my own. "I'll try."

He clinked our glasses together. "Cheers, then." Some twenty or so minutes later of just catching up over our drinks, I put some music on from my Spotify collection. Michael Jackson's "Baby Be Mine," came on. "I forgot you like MJ."

" _Love_ him. Doesn't every song of his make you wanna get up and dance?"

Sheff began to chuckle. "You askin' me to dance with you?"

"Don't go that far," I said. "Besides, I don't dance."

"Yeah right. Sure you do."

"No, I really don't," I said. "Takes something really special for me to do any dancing of any sort."

"Oh yeah? Like what?"

"Alcohol," I said, ever so blunt. "And a complete lack of self-consciousness and awareness. Which rarely happens."

"So even if I asked real nice, you won't dance with me?"

"Correct."

"Aw, man!"

"Oh please," I laughed at him. "It's not that impressive, trust me."

Sheff held up his hands in surrender. "Whatever you say. Might be fun, though."

"Maybe some other time."

"So, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"What would Adrian say about us drinking together in the middle of a weekday?"

I should've been more prepared for the question, found some way to evade it. Yet, admittedly my second rum and coke was making me a bit more...loose. "I wouldn't know."

"What do you mean?"

"Um..." I started, my heart beginning to pound (in a bad way). "Adrian and I are on a break right now."

" _...What?"_

"….Mhm."

"Wait, how come? What happened?"

I held up my hand. "I don't really wanna talk about it right now."

He nodded, watched me, and I felt like my whole heart was on display. An irrational thought, of course, but a thought nonetheless. "I'm sorry, Ella." We sat in the quiet for a bit and listened to Michael Jackson's "You Are Not Alone." Sheff went on to say, "Don't you think a break is kind of bullshit, though?"

"Sheff–"

"I'm just saying. I mean, either you break up or you don't. What's this in-between crap? It's selfish."

"That's what I said. We ran into each other at a house party on New Years Eve."

"That's awkward."

"And I was completely drunk. Makes it 10 times worse."

Sheff eyed the remains of my rum and coke, then looked back up at me. "Is that why you wanted to go drinking?"

"No." I swallowed. "….So what if I did?"

His face morphed into one of concern. "….Are you _OK_?"

His question had me teary eyed. "I'm fine," I said, rather unconvincingly. I barely noticed when he took my hand and pulled me to lean against him. My face began to crumble, and I started to cry.

"Aw..." he said, and his cologne was intoxicating me in a mixed sort of way. "Ella, for what it's worth, Adrian's an idiot….because I think you're just amazing."

"Thanks…." His heartbeat was in my ear, and I pulled away when I realized my hand was resting on his thigh. "I'm sorry. I just get really emotional when I'm drunk, apparently."

"It's OK," he breathed, with a soft chuckle. He reached over and brushed the hair from my face, not breaking eye contact.

He leaned in first. When our lips touched, his were soft and gentle. His large hands slid up my leg, brushing the inside of my thigh. It was a little weird, another guy kissing me after only kissing _one_ for so long. You fall into a comfort zone, so this was new, but also terrifying.

As fast as it'd happened, it ended.

"Um.." The moment froze between us. I looked him in the eye, his gaze still glazed over and him totally unaware of what just happened. "Sheff…."

It was then that it all snapped into place for him. "Fuck."

"It's...just...Adrian's still–and I'm not–I'm not OK."

"I'm sorry," he said. "That was so stupid. Please don't be mad."

I put my hand atop his, and it felt warm. "I'm not mad." I looked at him. "I'm not mad."

He nodded, and shook his head afterwards. "I'm an idiot." He moved to get off the bed. "I guess I'll go."

"Wait," I said, and he looked at me. "We should talk about this."

"What's there to talk about? I made a fool of myself. That's nothing new."

"I meant–I meant we should talk about this whole...you liking me thing."

"….Oh. That."

I swallowed. "I'll admit that when I decided to ignore it, that was the wrong decision. Actually, we should've had this conversation a long time ago–probably when I found out about the tutoring set-up."

He nodded. "Yeah."

"...That's it?" I said, let out a sarcastic chuckle.

He shrugged. "I don't know what you want me to say. I mean….yes. I like you, Ella. I always have. If Adrian hadn't moved to town, maybe...maybe it'd be you and me dating right now." I looked down at my hand, still resting on his. A moment of silence stretched between us. When I looked back at him, he was blushing furiously. "Like I once said: I guess he got to you first...and that's OK. There's nothing I can do about it. Right?"

I sighed. "I can't answer that fairly right now."

"Why? Because you both are on a break?" I didn't answer. "OK, OK fine. So...can there ever be a fair answer to that question, then?"

"I don't know. I guess not."

"There you go." He shook his head, sighed. "Y'know, he's probably gonna see other girls."

"...Why would you even say that? Because you're mad?"

"….I mean, _is_ he?"

I shook my head. "I'm not discussing this with you...and you know–if you _had_ just told me you liked me the beginning of Freshman year when you figured it out, maybe we _would_ be together right now."

"Well, if we _were_ together, I wouldn't cast you aside on some crap break, because I would _know_ what I had with you. I wouldn't...I wouldn't let you go."

"That a rather convenient promise to make from where you're sitting, isn't it?"

"I don't make promises I can't keep."

"They all–" He cut me off by pressing his lips against mine again. I pulled back quickly. "What are you doing?!"

"See?" He said, searching my eyes. "You kissed me back."

"No. You are such a jackass." Sheff adjusted and linked our hands together. "Wait...wait. Stop. We can't."

"Why not? Ella. Adrian's not here. I'm here."

"No. That doesn't matter. We can't do _anything_ because–"

"Because _what_?"

"Because I'm _in_ _love_ with him," I breathed out, the sincerity of my words reaching my eyes. "I love _Adrian_ , OK? We can _not_ do this. I don't want to, and beyond that… it's so incredibly _wrong_."

Sheff's mouth opened and then shut tight, air left his nostrils. "Alright. Fine."

"You don't get to be pissy about this."

"I wasn't being pissy."

"Yes you were," I challenged. "You don't have a right to do that–give me a hard time for being faithful to my boyfriend of three years."

He rolled his eyes. "Yes, three years. We know."

"Good."

Sheff wiped a hand across his face, then he said, "Ella, look..I'm sorry. That was a jerk move. I shouldn't have done it. Either time."

I nodded, rather stiff. "I think…I think maybe we should get going."

Not another word was spoken between us as we both got our stuff together and left my grandfather's boat.

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

When I got home, my parents were in the kitchen. My plan was to just sneak up to my room, but of course that didn't pan out.

"Excuse me," Mom said, pointed my way. "Come here." Dad also stood there, hands stuffed in his pockets.

 _Fuck_.

I made my way over to them with my crutches. "Hey."

"'Hey?' Explain yourself," Dad said, his tone hard and unforgiving. "Mrs. Gonzalez told me you weren't in class today, and then I find out that you didn't go to _any_ of your classes after lunch. Where did you go, and who were you with? You better tell me right now, Ella Grace."

I swallowed, and suddenly felt dizzy. "I can't…tell you right now."

Mom stared at me. "….Are you drunk?"

"I'm just buzzed. Relax."

Dad exhaled, clapped his hands to his sides. "Great; you skip school and get _drunk_ in the middle of the day. Who were you with?"

I winced. I couldn't tell Dad about Sheff, because then I knew Sheff would be in deep shit as one of Dad's players. "I wasn't with anyone."

"So you went and got drunk alone," Dad reiterated. "Where did you go?"

"Does that even matter?"

"Yes!" My parents chorused.

"...I was in Grandpa's boat," I said, my voice subdued.

"What?"

"Grandpa's boat, by the marina," I said again.

Recognition entered Dad's eyes. "That's where the keys went." He turned to Mom, then back to me. "You went into my desk and stole the keys to Grandpa Larry's boat from my office?"

"What?!" Mom exclaimed.

"Yes," I said.

Dad's eyes widened and I watched his jaw set like it did when he was really angry. I suppose my little theft was what put him over the edge. "Your ass is grounded," he said, pointed at me. "Go upstairs; sleep it off. It's school, tutoring, then home for you. Forget about going out with your friends or going anywhere else. Two weeks."

"Dad–"

"Two weeks!" Dad yelled, and I jumped. "Another word out of you, and it's three!"

Mom did take my hand and help me walk to the stairs. "I can't believe you," she seethed. "Going to the marina. God forbid you fell off the boat drunk–or fell off the boat at all–you could've drowned!" Tears entered her eyes, and I felt like shit. "Go upstairs." She pointed up the stairs and made no moves to help me, though I could tell she was going to supervise me until I got to the top. "Go!"

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

 _Tuesday, January 15_ _th_ _, 2030_

The next day, I was committed to making up for whatever I missed in my classes yesterday, primarily being that of Mrs. Gonzalez. I was standing at my locker prepping, when Isa tapped me on the shoulder. "Hey, girlie."

"Thank God. I need to talk to you." I ushered Isa into the stairwell through the door by my locker, and thankfully no other students were loitering there.

"What's _up?"_

I faced my best friend. "Yesterday, I cut school with Sheff. We went to my grandfather's boat and I got drunk and we kissed, and now I'm grounded for two weeks," I let out in one breath. I watched Isa's brows furrow and her eyes glint in concern, surprise, back to concern, and then back to surprise.

"Shut the fuck up," she said.

"I'm serious," I said, tugged at her arm. "We kissed, and then I made him talk about it with me, but..." My eyes filled in tears. "I can't believe I did that..."

"No, no, don't get upset," Isa said, took my hand.

I started crying. "He leaned in first, but I was drinking! I'm horrible!"

"Ella, you are _not_ horrible. Look...would you do it again? I mean, if you had the chance and you were totally sober?"

" _No._ No, I wouldn't. I love Adrian." A tear slipped down my cheek, and Isa wiped it away.

"I know you do. I know."

"...Fuck, it's Tuesday, and I'm supposed to tutor Sheff later. What the hell am I supposed to say to him?"

"Nothing," Isa answered. "You tutor him, you do your job...and that's it. You said you talked to him about it, right? Did you leave it on good terms?"

"…. _Awkward_ terms."

"OK well...don't bring it up unless he does. You have a job to do. And you're gonna do it."

I noted the time from Isa's watch on her wrist. "I'm late to class; I have to go." I leaned in to kiss her cheek. "I'll see you later."

"OK. Be strong. Everything will be fine; I promise."

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

I sat in the tutor center, waiting for Sheff to show up so we could start our session. He was usually never late, and I'd been waiting for 15 minutes already. The only good thing about it was that I could get some work done, but even then it was still a waste of time. At about 30 minutes in our hour-long session, I gave up on Sheff coming. A part of me felt relieved, but only a small part.

After locking up the Tutor Center, I headed to the gym where I knew Dad would be finishing basketball practice with his Ravens. I also knew Sheff would be there. He may skip tutoring with me, but there's no way he'd skip practice–not since he became top scorer.

Dad waved me over when I entered the gym, and I took a seat near him on the bleachers. I waited until Dad blew his final whistle, talked to him for a few minutes about my day, then approached Sheff before he left the gym. I called out his name.

He turned to see me, and his face turned grim. "Hey."

I looked over my shoulder and saw that Dad was talking to another Raven, so he wouldn't overhear us. "Why'd you skip out on tutoring today? I was waiting for you."

Sheff wiped his sweaty face with a towel. Then, he shrugged.

I scoffed. _I protected Sheff from my dad, and he thinks he can go ahead and do this?_ "Look, if you can't make tutoring for whatever reason, fine, but you have to let me know. You can't just have me waiting there for you like that. I could've easily tutored someone else during that time slot. You wasted my time."

"OK."

"Sheff, that was really rude and irresponsible. Do you get that? Because it doesn't seem like you do, and you're just saying what I want to hear to get me out of your face."

"I get it; I'm not retarded."

"You don't have to use that word."

"Whatever."

"OK," I said, holding my hand up. "What the hell's going on with you?"

Other Ravens looked our way, and Sheff noticed. " _Really_?" he asked rhetorically. His voice lowered to a whisper. "You're just gonna sit here and act like nothing happened?" He shook his head, turned his back and walked away.

Dad came up beside me. "What was that about?"

"Nothing," I said. "Can we go, or…."

He watched me carefully, but I didn't crumble under his gaze. "Sure; let's go."

-x-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-x-

 _Wednesday, January 16_ _th_ _, 2030_

I was in the middle of my physical therapy session with Joshua, riding the recumbent bike. I'd only been on it for exactly seven minutes, and I was meant to be on it for ten. Just seven minutes and my legs were strained and throbbed in pain.

"Come on Ella, three more minutes. You can do it; keep pushing."

I gritted my teeth and pushed through the pain. Once I was done with the bike, Joshua took my hand and led me to one end of the room. "OK. I want you to walk."

"With the crutches?"

"No. Without."

I gaped at him. "Are you serious?"

"Yes. We're been working together for about a month, Ella. It's time to try. I'm going to let go of you."

"Where am I walking to?"

"The leg press. Come on." Joshua eased his hold on me, and I put my arms out to the feel of so much open space.

"One foot in front of the other, and trust yourself."

In order to do this effectively, I had to somehow disassociate mind from body. I knew the only thing getting in the way of my walking solo was not weakness, but fear. The anxiety that stewed in my head could be conquered, defeated. At least, I hoped that would be the case.

With Joshua by my side, I put one foot in front of the other. I began to walk.

My eyes peered at my feet, as I needed some sort of visual feedback of what I was doing. Of course, Joshua caught it. "Don't look at the floor; there's no money there."

As soon as I looked up, I stumbled. Joshua reached toward me with his strong arms and caught me just in time before I fell down. "Damn it," I breathed, once I was steady. "Damn it."

"Hey, don't get discouraged; it was your first try. We'll try again on Monday."

-x-x-xx-x-x-

 _Friday, January 25_ _th_ _, 2030_

As the days passed, I went to school, physical therapy, then went home as per the rules of my punishment. Sheff cancelled our past two tutoring sessions, this time with notice. I'd been tutoring him since Freshman year though, and it was weird not to have him on my schedule even if it was just for a week. Needless to say, when I ran into him as I was cutting through the empty gym at the Whitey Durham Field House, I brought it up.

"Hey."

He turned, hugged the basketball to his hip. "Hey."

My feet began to ache. "Can we sit for a second?" Sheff nodded, and we both sat on the bleachers and faced each other. "You cancelled our past two tutoring sessions."

"Of course I did. I made a stupid move."

"And you're mad at me." He shook his head and did a half-shrug. "No, if you're mad at me, please just say so. I _hate_ passive-aggressive bullshit."

"Fine. I am mad at you."

 _"Why?"_

"Because!" He shouted, and I jumped a bit. "Because–I hate that you still don't get why I couldn't go to our sessions even though I explicitly told you why."

"When did you do that?" He stared at me. "...When you told me you liked me?"

"Of course! Hello. Ella, you knew that. _Come on."_ I said nothing. "You're just ignoring it again."

"No, I'm not. Look, when we talked about it, I thought that was it."

"What, you thought my feelings were going to go away because we talked about it _once_ in all the years we've known each other?"

"I didn't mean it like that. I meant, you apologized for kissing me and I thought we could move on. Apparently not."

Sheff rolled his eyes. "Well, _you_ especially should know that people don't just move on that easy."

"….What the hell does that mean?"

"I'm talking about you and Adrian. You're obviously not over him."

"Of course I'm not," I said. "We're not even broken up."

"Yeah," he jeered at me. "That is such bullshit."

"How would you know?" I yelled, my voice rising with every word. "Were you there? Do me a favor: don't insert yourself into my relationship with my boyfriend. It's not your place to make cynical commentary on the situation just because you can't get what you want out of it."

"Yeah, OK."

"….You're acting like such an asshole right now."

"Look, Ella, I'm not "inserting myself" into anything. I'm saying _you deserve better._ Jesus Christ."

"And what's better? You?"

"Wow. Thanks for that." He started to get up.

"I didn't mean it like that. Sheff, wait. I need to ask you something."

"What?" he asked, his voice tired and strained.

"Do you want to continue working with me at the Tutor Center or not?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know."

"Yes! I don't know right now!" He sighed, clearly exasperated. "It's too much. Look...it's not that big of a deal, Ella. You're the best tutor at this school; another student who needs help will take my place real quick. I have to go...bye."

"Sheff," I tried again, and he reluctantly turned to me. "It's not about who I tutor in your place or _if_ I will tutor someone in your place." I looked at him. "It's about you and me as friends."

"Friends."

"Yeah," I said, as gently as I could.

"I have to go." I could easily tell that he was hurt, and I felt awful. I did and said nothing else; just watched him walk away from me and leave the gym.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

 **Let me know what you think, please!**


	13. Something Just Like This

**Please let me know what you think of this.**

 **Parts of the chapter are mature.**

 _Chapter Twelve_

Something Just Like This 

_Friday, January 25th, 2030_

That Friday evening, Adrian found himself in Rudy's Toyota Camry on a five hour drive towards Boston. Rudy'd invited both him and Margie to his sister's place for the weekend–she was throwing a party–and Adrian agreed to go. He spent most of the car ride laughing at all the right times, including Rudy's clever jokes. During the quiet moments, however, Adrian looked at the scenery racing by through the passenger side window.

Margie tapped his shoulder. "Why're you so quiet?"

"Hm?" Adrian turned to look at her.

"Word, why aren't you saying anything?" Rudy echoed, eyes on the road ahead.

"Nobody else is talking," Adrian argued. "Why are _you guys_ so quiet?"

"Yeah but you're being especially quiet right now. What's up?"

"Nothing. Seriously. Nothing."

Adrian could feel the tension rise from the air around them; Margie and Rudy's private glance as Rudy's eyes shifted to the rearview mirror; the music that Margie picked that filled the space.

Truthfully, Adrian's mind was occupied with memories of Ella. The perfume she wore; her laugh; the way she always brushed her hair behind her ear when she was concentrating; the way she sang along to her favorite songs; the way she held a pen when she wrote in her special journal. Memories of them together also threaded through his thoughts… whenever they cuddled up to watch a movie; summer trips to the beach….their nights when they made love. He literally couldn't focus on the present.

"Alrighty then," Margie said. "...Who wants to play a game?"

Rudy's older sister, Sophia, lived in a modest apartment with two others who were also in her master's program. Rudy, Adrian and Margie got there in the evening, had dinner, and were so tired that the three of them crashed. The next day, Saturday, was spent helping Sophia and her roommates get ready and set up for the party. Adrian and Margie had made jello shots, whereas Rudy finalized his music playlist. Sophia's boyfriend, Tom, set up the beer pong table with a friend of his.

"Can you guys just help us with the food?" Sophia hollered from the kitchen.

Adrian and Margie were sitting on the couch during what they thought was a break in the action. "Is she talking to us?" Margie asked, in hushed tones.

"I think so." He patted her knee, and they both stood up and headed to the kitchen.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

People started showing up at 9pm, but started showing up in earnest an hour or so later. Friends of Sophia's, mostly from college, some from grad school, some from work, showed up with their friends or significant others. Friends of Tom, friends of their friends.

Adrian stood in the midst of it all, cradling a red Solo cup filled to the brim with beer, and trying to remain emotionally present for the sake of his friends. He was watching people he barely knew play pong, yet not really watching.

"We up next?" Margie stood there, also holding a red Solo cup, well dressed for the occasion as always. The dress she wore hugged her curves, the heels she wore made her just a bit taller. Her dark hair, perfect skin, dark lipstick.

"What, beer pong?" Adrian made a sucking sound with his teeth. "Dunno."

"Oh come on, that is _bullshit,_ " Margie joked. "You're just afraid to show everyone how good you are."

"I'm not afraid."

Margie kinked her eyebrow in a cute kind of way, challenging him, and gestured to the beer pong table. "Prove it."

He hung his head back. "Fine." He downed the rest of his beer in two gulps, and the two of them set out to face Tom and his friend.

"Don't let me down, now," she teased, as they stood on one end of the table.

"Have I ever?" he asked in return, smiled, raised his voice over the music. He noticed, for a second, that color filled Margie's cheeks. She was blushing. He chose to ignore it and said, "Alright, let's go!"

"We won!" Margie cheered, after their game ended and had actually gathered a bit of spectatorship. They bumped fists, and retreated to the empty love seat. "Those were some exceptional beer-ponging skills."

"Did you just make up a word? Or phrase, or whatever?"

Margie stuck out her tongue at him in response. "Maybe." She brought her hand to his back, in between his shoulder blades, and patted him there, let her hand linger. "You having a good time?"

"I am," he answered. "Are you?"

"I am," she echoed, in a teasing way. "Why're you so serious?"

"I'm not," Adrian said. "What?"

"You look so broody right now," she said, leaned in close to him so he could hear her. He smelled her perfume and soaked it in.

"I'm not being broody. Just people-watching."

A remix of Rihanna's "Where Have You Been" overtook the stereo and filmed the room, and Margie gasped. "Oh come _on."_ She turned to him, looked at him with those beautiful brown eyes. "Dance with me?"

"You gonna let me say no?"

"No way." She held out her hand, and he took it, let her lead him to the makeshift dance floor that was the center of Sophia's living room. Adrian simply watched the way Margie's body swayed, the way her hips rocked, the way her manicured hands sometimes pressed up against his chest, how his hands couldn't help but graze her waist, and then she did the same. "You're a good dancer!"

"I am?"

"Mhm." She laughed. "Are you really that clueless about yourself all the time?"

He shook his head at her, couldn't _not_ notice how her hands were roaming his waist and chest. She smelled good. Really good. He pulled her close so their bodies were touching, and he said. "You're a good dancer, too. You knew that, though, didn't you?"

She smirked at him, and that was all the answer he was gonna get.

"You look nice," he said. His lips inadvertently grazed the side of her slender neck, sending chills down her back. They looked at each other, their gazes heated and full. Margie tugged on his hand, and before he could process anything that was happening, he followed her.

She led him into a bedroom, shut the door behind her. The room was dark. He backed her up against the bed, which he guessed was covered in coats. He reached blindly and pulled her close, felt her body press up against his and he breathed against her neck. Their lips soon met, hers soft and warm. Her hands started tugging at his shirt, roaming his chest, as his roamed the skin of her back. He let her arms wrap around his neck. Her tongue slipped into his mouth, rubbed up against his. The moment seemed to stretch until forever, though in reality it was much shorter.

"Wait, wait..."

"What?"

He ran a hand through his shorter hair. She made a move to get closer to him. He held up his hand. "I can't do this."

"Do what?"

"This," Adrian gestured between them, rubbed his lips with his finger to get rid of her taste. "I can't..." He shook his head, turned, and left the room.

"Adrian," Margie called, raised her voice over the continuous music. "Wait up!"

Meanwhile, Rudy watched the two of them whizz by, a look of confusion mixed with a hint of suspicion on his face.

Margie was persistent and followed Adrian all the way down the stairs and out front into the crisp and cold Boston night air. "Adrian," she said again, this time tugging on the fabric covering his elbow. He whipped around, and it startled her.

"Margie, I can't…I can't be kissing you!"

"Lower your voice…."

"And you can't be kissing me back!"

"Whoa, wait a minute. You _just said_ you couldn't be kissing me, so you _know_ a part of this is on you! Don't you _dare_ just blame me."

Adrian pressed his hand against his eyelids. He hung his head back and shouted out, " _Fuck_!" He walked in a semi circle before he finally turned to look at her. "You _know_ how I feel about Ella. You sat there with me, listened while I talked to you for hours about her, how much I love her and miss her…. _Shit_. Rudy was right."

Margie's eyebrows shot up. "OK. First of all, where is _your_ goddamn accountability? You're acting like all of this is my fault! Like it's on _me_ that we're where we are. You know what, Adrian? It's on you, too. I'm not some conniving bitch."

"I never said–"

"And second of all, what the hell are you doing talking to Rudy about me?"

The door to the apartment opened and Rudy himself stepped through into the cold. "….What's going on?"

"Why are you two talking about me?" Margie demanded, staring the two boys down.

Rudy held out his hands in defense. "Whoa, Margie; I didn't say anything."

"No? Telling him I liked him is saying nothing?"

"I didn't," Rudy said. He shared a glance with Adrian. "OK...what happened?"

"Margie, all he said was that he _thought_ you liked me, but I took it as a joke," Adrian said. "Clearly, I'm a moron. Rudy, can you give us a minute? Please."

"Sure," Rudy answered, obviously hesitant. Still, he left his two friends alone on the front porch and went back to the party.

"Margie…."

"What?" she spat, rested her hands behind her head, turned away from him. She heard his footsteps, felt his hand on her elbow as he turned her around.

"Look at me for a second," he implored. She did. "You _really_ like me?"

"…You are _such_ an idiot."

"Well then humor me!"

"I've only tried to make that obvious to you since the moment we met, Adrian! Which was stupid of me, apparently, because you're still hopelessly in love with her. You've been dating her for three years! How the fuck am I supposed to compete with that?!"

"I never asked you to," he said, and tried to break it gently.

"And I never asked to have feelings for you!" Margie shouted. "You think I didn't try to keep myself on guard? I _tried_ , but no, that didn't work, did it?"

"Margie..." he sighed. "You _know_ I think you're _so_ great...but I can't–"

She held up her slender hand, silencing him. "Of course I know. I like you, and you're incapable of liking me back, because your heart is with someone else." Her voice broke at that last part. "How can I fault you for the pieces of your life that melded before we met, right?"

"I..." he said again, but she passed right by him, saying not another word.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

 _Sunday, January 27th, 2030_

 _Hi baby, guess I missed ya. Just wanted to see how your day is going...and to say I love you so much. Call me later. Bye!_

So played the last voicemail Ella left for Adrian before he called a break. When he lumbered back to the room he was staying in nearing 4am, about an hour after his confrontation with Margie–feeling buzzed and depressed– Adrian fooled around on his phone, and came across the recording. Since the room was empty, Adrian was able to listen to the message over, and over, and over again–falling asleep to the sound of her beautiful voice.

The next morning, Adrian woke up before his two friends, and headed to the kitchen to make some coffee using Sophia's Keurig. He sat nursing his lonely mug of coffee, letting it warm his hands, and savoring the silence. That is, until a pair of footsteps broke his thoughts.

"Dude, I'm so fucking hungover," Rudy said, pulling up a chair and putting his head down on the table.

"What're you doing up so early?"

"I don't know! Fuck." He nudged Adrian with his elbow. "What're _you_ doing up so early?"

Adrian shrugged. "Who knows." He pushed his coffee that he wasn't going to finish in Rudy's direction. "Here; you can finish it."

Rudy finished the coffee in several gulps, and finally said, "Some night you had."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"I knew you were gonna say that shit," Rudy said. "You don't want to talk about it at all?"

"Nope," Adrian answered, pushed to stand. "I'm gonna go lay down."

"Before you go..."

"What is it?"

"At least admit that I was right."

"About what?!"

"Dude; about Margie being into you."

Adrian rolled his eyes. "Rudy, you're pathetic."

He started laughing. "What? Gotta give credit where it's due!" Adrian's response was walking away. "No? OK, I'll just enjoy this victory sip by myself."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Adrian was _not_ looking forward to the five hour car ride back to UPENN. Margie wasn't speaking to him, with earbuds in her ear already (before the car even pulled away from the sidewalk), and Rudy tried cracking jokes that neither of them laughed at. When Rudy stopped to get gas before they got on the highway, Adrian couldn't take it anymore and got out of the car on the passenger side and climbed into the backseat.

Margie pulled out her left earbud, startled. "What are you doing!?"

"This is the only way to get you to talk to me," he said. "You haven't even looked at me or said a single word since before we left."

"Well obviously I _don't_ want to talk to you," she figured, rolled her eyes. "There's nothing to talk about."

"What?!" he exclaimed.

"You heard me," she said, in a way that bore no argument. "You know where I stand, where you stand, and that's it."

"OK but….I don't want to leave it like this."

She said nothing, turned away from him to look out the window at the other drivers filling up their tanks with gas. She put the earbud back in her ear, which was code for _go away._

Adrian could do nothing but climb out of the car, and ran into Rudy on the way back to the passenger side.

 _An_ _ything?_ Rudy mouthed, so Margie wouldn't hear.

Adrian rolled his eyes and went back inside to the passenger side. He took a page from Margie's book and put on his own music, drowning out all the noise and awkwardness and discomfort.

Of course, that only lasted about five minutes–as soon as Rudy got back into the driver's seat, he tapped Adrian on the shoulder.

"What?"

"You guys wanna stop at Dunkin? I need more coffee."

"If you wanna go to Dunkin, just go, dude," Adrian said, when Margie didn't bother answering.

"Alright, fine. Jeez." Rudy stuck the key into the car's ignition and the engine came alive. He left the gas station and drove to the nearest Dunkin Donuts.

What ensued was the most awkward five hour long car ride of their lives.

-x-x-x- **EGS-** **x** -x-x-

 _Tuesday, January 29_ _th_ _, 2030_ _3:15pm_

"Hey," Sheff said, as I sat at my usual table in the Tutor Center. He set his backpack down. "We're tutoring today, right?"

"Actually, no," I said. I let the stack of paper in my hand fall to the table. "I switched you to another tutor."

Sheff's mouth fell open. "Why?!"

"Because, you said you weren't sure if you wanted to work with me or not. I can't afford that kind of uncertainty."

"So you just dropped me?!"

"Now you won't have to feel uncomfortable." I shook my head. "You know what? You're unbelievable. First of all, when I asked you directly if you wanted to continue tutoring with me, you said, 'I don't know,' and second, before that you cancelled on me and flaked a bunch of times passive aggressively. You wouldn't decide, so I did."

"Wow."

"No, don't 'wow' me. You _just_ said the other day at the gym that it was 'too much.' So what am I meant to do?"

Sheff dropped his bag to the floor. "Ella, look, I'm sorry I cancelled on you and flaked out... you're the best tutor at this hellhole."

"I think you'll work really well with Allie."

"No. I don't want to work with Allie. I want to work with you." I motioned for him to follow me into the empty hallway, and he did. Before I could speak, he did. "You're just avoiding me by switching me to someone else."

"I'm not avoiding you."

"Yes you are–"

"No, _you_ were avoiding _me_." I sighed, raked my hand through my wavy hair. "….This is stupid."

"Agreed." Sheff shoved his hands in his pockets, anger leaving his nostrils in heavy exhales. "So what do you wanna do?"

"Can we just...can we just start over?"

"Start over?"

"Yeah. I'm not saying we _forget_ what happened...because I know you can't, but–"

"Wait, wait. 'I can't?' What does that mean?….That _you can_?"

"No," I sighed. "I didn't say that." I clapped my hands together like I did when I was trying to keep my cool. "We need to pause for a second, OK?"

"No, it's obvious to me that you don't feel the same way that I do."

"I mean... _yeah._ Sheff, I don't mean to be a bitch, but I was very clear with you. _I'm not OK._ The other day you said I wasn't over Adrian, and I was honest with you and told you that yes, I wasn't. It's impossible for me to have feelings for you right now–because I'm not in that place. OK?"

"Ok. Fine."

"Ugh," I said. "This is exactly what I didn't want. This awkwardness or discomfort, or all the fighting. I think we need to have some space between us right now."

"Fuck that. You switched me off to service _you_. You gave zero consideration to how this would affect my progress and learning."

"Um, _no_. That's not true at all. I actually spent almost two hours meeting with Allie and going over everything we've worked on, your strengths and the challenges you have, your learning style. I worked really fucking hard, so _don't_ say that I gave this move zero consideration. You don't know what the hell you're talking about. I did this for the both of us, because we're friends, and we've _been_ friends for a long time...I didn't... _don't_ want to ruin that." I watched him, trying to search within the color of his eyes. "I know you want more than friendship, but I _can't_ give you that right now. I just can't."

"Could you ever?"

I hated the question, but I answered it. "...I don't know."

Sheff nodded, and I watched his spirit wilt. "I guess it's better off that I work with Allie after all."

"…Please don't be mad at me," I whispered to him.

Sheff shrugged, said nothing, and headed back to the Tutor Center.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

That Tuesday, Peyton and Miranda were swarmed at work. They were drowning in demo tapes, meetings with prospective bands, going over contracts…. they were working so hard, they barely had time to converse with each other.

"Peyton, don't forget your accountant is coming at 3," Miranda said.

"Ugh," Peyton said. "Right in the middle of the day. OK." Her phone began to vibrate against her desk, and she saw it was Lucas calling. "Hello?" she answered it, ran her fingers through her hair.

 _"Bad time?"_

"Whats the matter?" she asked, only vaguely hearing what preceded her question.

 _"Nothing,"_ he chuckled. _"Clearly, I caught you at a bad time. I'll call later."_

"No, no..." she sighed. "I'm sorry, Luke. I'm just so swamped. Are you OK?"

 _"I'm fine. Just at work; I finally have a minute to myself before practice. I know you're busy so I'll make this short: I want to take you out on Friday."_

"Out?" Peyton asked, half distracted.

 _"Yes, out. It's this thing couples do when they want to have some time alone and spend it together doing something fun–you know, like a date?_ _What do you think?"_

"I'd love that," Peyton answered, and a calm washed over her. "You'd have to get someone–"

 _"_ _I already talked to my mom; her and Andy have agreed to watch the boys, and I'm going to talk to Roslyn about watching your father. I figure she can_ _stay with_ _him at_ _the_ _condo?"_

It'd been over two weeks since Larry's last seizure on the 12th. Since then, he went on without incident, and his adjusted medication regimen seemed to be working. With some hesitance, Peyton had just recently allowed Larry to stay at his condo with Roslyn (she had offered when she saw everyone was stressed)–just overnight– as a trial run. According to Roslyn, Larry did great, and the two had some good old fashioned bonding time. Admittedly, it _was_ a nice break for the Scotts as well.

"Just for the night," Peyton said. "If she agrees to stay over the weekend–we'd have to pay her extra for that."

 _"_ _I know. I don't mind that; I just really want some time with you, baby."_

"I do too," she said, her voice softening. "Let's do it."

 _"_ _I'll talk to Roslyn and take care of everything, OK? Leave it all to me."_

"OK," she said. "I'll see you when you get home after practice?"

 _"_ _It's Tuesday; I have class tonight," he said, his voice carrying lament._

Lucas had resumed classes at the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill for the semester. He wanted to take another semester off, but Peyton had pushed him to continue with his classes. This semester he was able to take some of his classes online, which was of great convenience, but he still had to commute Tuesday and Thursday nights–getting home late (and thus missing dinner with the family) as a result.

"Oh, right," Peyton said. She exhaled. "I forgot; today is Tuesday." She ran a hand over her eyes, knowing she'd have to handle her father, the boys, and Ella alone. "Ok, well I'll see you when you get home later tonight, then."

 _"_ _Thank you for being so supportive,_ _honey._ _"_

"Drive safe, OK? No speeding."

 _"I won't speed."_

They bid goodbye, both of them forced to return to their work days–at least now with Friday to look forward to.

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

I was able to get a ride home from school with Isa, who couldn't stay for a bit because she had something to do. I walked into the house to find Grandpa Larry with Roslyn, sitting in the kitchen and nursing a cup of coffee and a cup of tea, respectively.

"Look who's here," Grandpa said. "How was school?"

"It was fine," I answered, setting down my backpack and taking a seat. "Hi, Roslyn."

"Hello my dear," Roslyn replied, sent me a smile. "Would you like some tea?"

"No thanks, I'm good. How was your day at the center, Grandpa?"

"It was good."

"Tell her what you did!" Roslyn encouraged.

Grandpa began counting off on his fingers. "Yoga in the morning, coffee break, dancing..." He paused as he searched the depths of his memory. Grandpa's short term memory was completely shot since the stroke.

"You also did painting," Roslyn continued for him. "Right?"

"Yes, painting!" Grandpa motioned towards the refrigerator. "Look!"

I turned and saw Grandpa's artwork taped to the refrigerator door. His name was even written in the bottom righthand corner. The piece looked sort of like a caterpillar, but I'm not so sure if that was what my grandfather was going for. I can't really explain it, but seeing my grandfather's artwork–akin to that of a small child–warmed my heart and broke it into pieces at the same time. "Wow, great job, Grandpa! I love it."

"Thank you!" Grandpa's smile was a memorable one.

Soon after Roslyn went home, Riley woke up from his nap, and I had to bring my homework (just some reading and math problem sets) into his room to watch over him. I had closed the door so I wouldn't have to worry about him running into the hallway. Even though there was a baby proof gate at the top of the stairs, I didn't want to take my chances.

Riley began to get antsy, and even started banging on the door and crying after just a little while. I wished with everything I had that I could lift him into my arms and hold him, rock him back and forth like I'd seen my father do, but I simply couldn't. "OK, Riley, I know," I said. "Do you want to do some reading with me?" I held up _Harold and the Purple Crayon._

"No!" Riley began banging on the door with his tiny fists, with surprising force.

"Riley, baby, you're going to disturb Grandpa Larry..." I got up from the bed, and carefully walked over to him using my crutches. I rested them on the floor...thought of what to do next. I couldn't kneel to Riley's level. I planted one hand on the wall and bent down, putting another hand on his shoulder. "Come to sit down with me!"

"Mama..." he cried, tears forming in his blue eyes.

"I know you want Mama. She'll be home soon, Ri!"

I checked the clock on the wall: 5:15p. Mom should be home (after getting Miles from daycare) in another 15 minutes. All I had to do was make it 15 more minutes. "Riley, come on, baby. Let's read!" I smiled at him, gave him a gentle glance. He didn't go back to banging on the door, so I picked up my crutches from the floor and slipped my arms through them. I made my way over to the rocking chair, sat down and patted the space next to me. Mercifully, Riley climbed up next to me. I let him hold one end of the book, I held another end. "Harold and the Purple Crayon, by Crockett Johnson." Out of the corner of my eye I saw Riley begin to absorb the drawings in the book, take in what he could understand. His eyes got wide and dreamy. There was nothing like watching him learn and grow. Reading together with Riley was one of my absolute favorite things.

A knock on the door disturbed us, and I just knew it was Grandpa. The door opened, and I was right. "Why hello," he said, one hand on the door frame and one hand using his cane. "What's going on in here?"

"We're reading. Want to read with us?"

"Where's your mother? It's already 7pm."

"It's not 7, Grandpa. It's only 5:30. Look at the clock," I pointed over my shoulder. "Mom should be here any minute now."

"What about your dad?"

"Today's Tuesday. He has practice with the team, remember?"

Just then, we all heard the front door open and Mom's heels as she made her way through the door with Miles. "Hello! I'm home!"

As if on cue, Grandpa began making his way downstairs, and Riley made to follow him. "Wait, wait," I said. "Let's wait for Mama here!" I wouldn't be able to make sure that the _both_ of us got downstairs safely without Mom there to watch over us. "Mom!" I called. "Can you come up here?"

"What?"

"Can you come up here!"

"I'll be right there!"

Just a few minutes later, I heard Mom make her way up the stairs with eight month and two weeks-old Miles in her arms. She kissed the side of his head, and swayed him back and forth. Miles was extremely clingy with Mom, and it was very hard for her to start leaving him at daycare, but she really had no choice. Grandpa Larry still needed a lot of attention being in and out of the hospital, so Roslyn had to be there for him mostly. I was still recovering from surgery and doing physical therapy….it just seemed like each of us had _something_ going on. The point is, day care was the best option for right now.

"Mama!"

"Hi," Mom said, keeping her voice soft and gentle. Her eyes lit up at seeing the both of us together. "Are you guys reading?"

"We were until Grandpa interrupted. Why did he even go downstairs if you're up here?"

"Who knows," Mom said. "I'm going to go change. Come with me." I got up to go to Mom, and Riley followed.

Mom set Miles in the playpen that had been moved to the master bedroom, so Miles could crawl around and Mom was free to change. "I couldn't wait to get home," she said, moving around in her walk in closet.

I sat on the edge of her bed. "Tough day?"

"Ugh. I don't even know where to begin." She reappeared in her house clothes, which were loose fitting and comfortable.

"Well at least Dad will be home soon," I reasoned. "I know he generally cheers you up."

"So do you," Mom insisted. "And your father's not going to be home until late. It's Tuesday, and he has night classes."

"Oh right; I forgot about that."

Mom made a face. "So did I."

"You seem mad."

"I'm not mad. I'm really happy for him. It's just a lot to handle–the boys and my dad–with just me."

"Sorry I'm so useless," I said, only half-joking.

"Stop it," she said. She walked over and planted a kiss on my temple. "You're not useless."

I nodded and all of a sudden the moment was too heavy. "So, what's for dinner?"

"I'm thinking shrimp and linguini," Mom replied. "What do you think?"

"Yummy." We made our way downstairs, me first with Riley, who I instructed to go slow and hold on to the banister while I went down in front of him. I could go down standing now. Mom followed with Miles, putting him in the feeding chair. She began making dinner, and things were relatively calm. I was sure to keep Riley occupied, with Grandpa making funny faces at Miles. Mom looked stressed, but eventually the stress eased away as she began to cook. Also, she tried to hide it, but I knew she missed Dad.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

 _Friday,_ _February 1_ _st_ _, 2030_

7pm. Miles was asleep already and Riley was on his way there. Ella was staying home, having had plans to go see Catherine, but Catherine cancelled because she was feeling sick. So Ella decided to cuddle up with her warm blanket and some Netflix. She was keeping to herself in her room, and so was Larry. The house on a whole was settling down–and meanwhile, Lucas and Peyton were getting ready to go out for their big date–most of which Lucas was keeping a surprise, much to Peyton's annoyance.

"Lucas, seriously, _where_ are we going?" she pressed, her heels clacking against the wooden floor of the hallway as she left the bedroom. "How fancy is the place? Is this dress OK? I have to know these things!" All he could do was chuckle at her, and think about how he was _still_ falling in love with her a little bit more every day. "Don't laugh at me," she pouted, her lip curled.

"I'm not. Peyton, that dress is just perfect." He reached to wrap his arms around her waist and pulled her to him. "You're perfect to me."

She ran her hands down his crisp pressed dress shirt. "You're so handsome."

He winked at her, checked his watch. He leaned in real close to whisper in her ear, "I love our family to death, but I can _not_ wait to take you out." He kissed the tip of her nose so as not to smudge her lipstick. "Are you excited?"

"So excited..." They began to sway together by the foot of the stairwell, despite there being no music playing.

Lucas reached into the inner pocket of his suit jacket for his cell phone when it began buzzing. "It's my mom." Lucas placed the phone to his ear and answered the call. "Hey Ma; everything OK?"

 _"Lucas, Andy tripped going down the stairs too fast, and probably sprained his ankle. I have to rush him to the ER. I can't come babysit. I'm so sorry!"_

"Oh, damn...don't worry about it. Keep us posted. Send Andy our love." Lucas hung up and told Peyton what he'd heard. He rested his head back and sighed heavily. "Shit!"

"It's OK," Peyton said, knowing what Lucas was thinking before he even said it.

"No it isn't. The one night we both have free in a while, and I wanted to take you out. I had everything planned..." Lucas scratched the back of his neck, and headed toward Ella's room.

"Where are you going?"

"Be right back!"

-x-x-x- **EGS-** x-x-x-

I was watching reruns of _Scrubs_ when Dad knocked on my bedroom door and came on in. I paused Netflix and turned on my bedside lamp. "Aren't you guys going out?"

"Grandma can't come babysit; Andy most likely sprained his ankle. I was wondering if you could do your old man a big favor?"

"I charge for big favors," I said, all with a smile on my face. "What's going on?" Dad cringed, and I couldn't help but chuckle a little. "...Oh. You want me to watch the boys and Grandpa, don't you?"

"Just for a few hours."

"Dad...I would, but–"

Dad came over and sat on the edge of my bed, gently patted my left leg. "But?"

I hung my head and let it rest against my mahogany headboard. "Miles and Riley are too little. Even if it is just for a few hours….what if they wake up? What if I have to pick one of them up? Then what am I meant to do? I'm not trying to be selfish or whiny…just honest." I swallowed, and the next sentence brought tears to my eyes. "I'm sorry. I know you're really excited about taking Mom out, it's just…I'd never forgive myself if something happened to them."

"Oh honey," Dad said, grabbed my hand. "I'm the one who's sorry. You're right; I wasn't thinking."

"I would love to help," I said, squeezed his hand. "…If I could."

"I know." Dad looked at me, and he seemed sad, but tried to cover it up from me. "How do I look? Snazzy?"

"Very snazzy," I said. "You are one handsome guy, Dad!"

"Thanks!" Dad smiled, dimples and all.

I was suddenly determined not to let my parents evening out escape their grasp. They deserved time together with such hectic schedules, big demands, and vast responsibilities. "What if we called Aunt Brooke? Or Aunt Haley?" I adjusted myself on my bed. "Oh! I got it. What if you brought Miles and Riley over to the Grandpa's condo, and Roslyn watched them? Not overnight; just for a few hours, like you said."

"That's...actually a really good idea," Dad said. "Thanks, pumpkin pie."

"I charge for good ideas." He laughed, and we bumped fists.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

With the boys safely at Larry's condo for the entire night (Roslyn insisted that she didn't mind and that being with the boys was good for Larry), Lucas took his wife out to a local Italian restaurant that boasted live Salsa on Friday nights. Granted it was a little loud, and they had to raise their voices to be able to hear each other, but at least they got to eventually dance out the stress of their days–of having to care for two boys aged two and younger, of having to care for Larry, and lastly, Ella recovering from surgery and nursing a broken heart. Peyton and Lucas had the demands of their jobs, _plus_ , Lucas had his night classes and was practically gone two whole nights out of the week. In fact, to say it was "stressful" was a complete understatement.

So, when the song "Decisiones" by Rubén Blades began to filter through the restaurant, Lucas offered his hand for his wife to take, and led her to the dance floor, where other couples were also dancing.

"Ella'd be so proud of us right now," Lucas joked. He recognized the song as it sometimes came drifting towards him from his daughter's room, when she was in the mood to listen to Spanish music (which was quite often).

"I know!" His hands grazed her waist, and she was simply taken aback by how good of a dancer he was. His moves were fluid and dare she say, sexy. "You look good, baby," she whispered to him. Their bodies were pressed together for just a moment, and she felt the hairs stand up at the back of his neck at the sound of her voice.

He laughed, always in modesty. "So do you!" They danced until their feet ached, and then went back to enjoy a lovely meal.

On their way out of the restaurant afterwards, their ears were ringing, but they were both beguiled by the night. They walked arm in arm through their hometown, and Lucas led her an empty bench on the boardwalk. He draped an arm around her, and she leaned into his side. "Thanks for dinner, Luke."

"No need to thank me. It's the absolute least I can do." He shifted his body to turn and look at her, and she did the same. "Thank _you_ for letting me take you out."

"Of course..."

Their hands linked together. "And for always being so amazing...I couldn't do what I'm doing without you, Peyton."

The look in his eyes was so intense, so full of love, she almost cried. She brought his hand to her lips for a kiss. "Me either," she said, and the moment rested in the air between them.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

It wasn't often that Lucas and Peyton were able to enjoy some uninterrupted alone time; but tonight, with Ella having gotten a surprise ride to Isa's house, Lucas was counting on it. He sat on the edge of the bed and took off his dress shoes and unbuttoned the top button of his dress shirt.

Peyton stood in her bra and panties, her dress off and her heels chucked somewhere. "Can you help me with this necklace? I can't get it."

Lucas motioned for her to come closer to him, and she did. She sat next to him on the edge of their bed, let him brush the hair from her neck. With his nimble fingers, he undid the clasp of her sterling silver necklace with emerald pendant, and took it off, laying it gently beside them on the bedspread. He brushed his thumb down the back of her neck, before kissing her there. After all this time, she still shivered at his kisses.

"Luke?"

"Hm?" She didn't answer, and he took the opportunity to move his hands to her waist, across her belly. "Want me to take anything else off?"

She inhaled a sharp breath, before nodding and turning to kiss him. Lucas moved his hands to her hip, literally lifted her onto his lap, where they continued kissing, his tongue slipping casually into her mouth. He traced a line up her back and undid her bra clasp, heard the little sigh she released whenever he did that for her. In turn, she began to undue the rest of his shirt buttons, ripped his shirt off and tossed it on the floor, and neither of them honestly gave a damn. They paused only to adjust, undo the covers, and lay down in the center of the bed, where Lucas took off his pants and dimmed the lights, crawled in next to her. They spent the next few moments just laying there, listening to the other's slow, steady breaths. Lucas traced lines down Peyton's arm with his forefinger, admired her in the dim light–cherished the quiet as the world raced on outside.

"What are you thinking about?" she whispered to him, ran her hand down his clean shaven cheek.

He shrugged, linked their hands. "Just...I know how hard it is for you to hold the fort down with me gone twice a week, taking classes and everything. I just wanted to thank you again for always supporting me, baby...I feel like you don't get thanked enough for all that you do around here. You don't always have to be so strong all the time." He kissed her, a kiss that was soft and sweet. "It's a lot," he added, nuzzled their noses together.

"It is a lot," she agreed. "But there's nobody else I'd rather do this with, you know." She closed her eyes at the feel of his hands on the smooth skin of her back.

"Are you tired?"

"No," she said, her voice barely audible. She leaned over and kissed him hard, sucked on his bottom lip, making him groan–the kind she always found so sexy–and pull her close. Their bodies began to shift under the covers, their hold on each other growing increasingly more desirous, amorous, passionate. Their kiss deepened, tongues clashed, and soon Lucas was laying on his back and she was kissing down his sculpted chest. He lay his head back, relaxed, and breathed out long exhales, full of want and frantic need. His own hands reached up to gently grasp her right breast, kneading the flesh with his fingers and flicking his thumb over her nipple. Just her moans alone were making him hard, and she knew it, too, without him having to say a damn thing.

Peyton reached down under his gray boxer briefs and took hold of him, began to stroke him slowly, while Lucas' other hand deftly reached to push the away the silky fabric of his wife's underwear and rub circles around her clitoris. She broke away from kissing him only to breath out almost desperately, her eyes boring into his and telling him to keep going.

Lucas used his strength to lay her down on her back, broke away from her sweet lips to say, _let's take this off,_ and pulled that sexy thong down her long, amazing legs. He leaned over her, let her rest on her back. Her hand curled around his wrist as he soon slipped two fingers inside of her, moving quick, in tempo with her moans. He watched her head lean back, her lips part, felt her nails drag down his back and pull at his boxer briefs, letting them fall against the bed.

He kissed her again, longingly and deeply...his fingers still plunging into her heat. He then asked if it felt good, and all she could do was nod; he'd rendered her speechless, and he hadn't even begun. His lips traveled down her beautiful body–stunning, even after giving birth to three children–and as always kissed the scar from her cesarian section seventeen years ago. The scar was faded, but it was still there.

He'd asked her to spread her legs, just a little bit, and she did. He kissed the inside of her thighs, before putting his mouth on her, his tongue flicking and curling around her clitoris over and over again, her moans telling him all he needed to know as she opened herself to him.

"Luke..." She reached down, feathering her fingers through his hair–the only part of him she could reach. Her heels soon gravitated to digging into his back–something he loved. "Baby..."

He didn't say anything; just reached up and grabbed her hand, squeezed it hard as she came for him.

"Oh my God," she breathed, leaned back against the pillows. Lucas could only stare. _What a Goddess_ , he thought to himself.

"We're not done yet, sweetheart," he said, with his best boyish grin. He reached into the night table for a condom and slipped it on with ease. When he was done, Peyton took his hand into hers and placed it over her heart. "It's racing so fast," he said, and everything else he wanted to say–but couldn't vocalize–was in his eyes.

"After all this time still," she said. "Luke, I love you so much..."

He positioned himself over her, leaned down to kiss her lips again. "I love you too. I'll show you," he swore, before slipping inside of her. She let out a gasp, a breath of air, and he asked, "Are you OK?"

"I'm fine." She latched her arms around him, buried her face in the crook of his neck and inhaled his residue cologne. He began moving, gyrating his hips against her in effortless patterns, patterns that made her shouts bounce off the walls of their room. "Lucas…"

Nothing sounded more amazing than his name rolling off her tongue as he made sweet love to her. As always, her warmth and heat was just overwhelming in the best possible way, making him groan alongside her. "Fuck..."

Her nails dug into his back, dragged down and broke the skin as he started hitting her g-spot over and over again. He was able to quiet her moans by kissing her, and when he pulled away, he smiled at her. He knew she was never much for talking during sex, but he could almost always get her to be loud–and he loved every single second of it.

"Baby, don't stop," she said, and he went harder for her–only to see her melt. "You feel so fucking good..."

"You too," he breathed out, his heart beginning to pound in his chest. He reached down and rubbed her clitoris again, just to help her along and make her come again. He was always, always, all about pleasing her. He didn't give a fuck if he came or not–when he made love to his wife it was about her. Would he go over the edge? Most likely yes, but that wasn't the point. The point was being so close to her it was like they breathed in sync, beat in sync, moved in sync, loved in sync. It was about being able to expose her, allow her to be safe and vulnerable. These were moments only they shared, and Lucas wouldn't trade them for anything in the world. "You're so goddamn _beautiful_ , my God..."

 _"Luke,_ " she said again. "I'm really close..."

"I know," he panted. "I know, sweetheart. Just let go for me."

Eventually she did, her whole body tensing up tight and then relaxing. Then it was his turn, and he collapsed in a heap beside her, brought her sweaty, sticky body close and kissed her temple once, twice, three times. "We still got it," he said, and she laughed, her laugh infectious.

She then looked over at him, wiped the sweat from his brow. "You feel alright?"

"Peyton," Lucas said. Since his heart attack, Peyton almost always asked him that after they had sex, and every single time she did he had to reassure her. He'd never felt better. "I feel fine. Better than fine. I feel amazing being here with you."

She rolled her eyes, a hint of color on her cheeks. She traced lines on his chest. "Baby, I'm being serious right now."

"So am I," he said. He playfully caught her hands in his and kissed them. "Stop doing that; I'm gonna fall asleep. You don't want me falling asleep right now, do you?" She shook her head. "I thought so. We just started...feel like going again?"

She laughed. "I missed you."

His face fell at that sentiment. "I've been here the whole time. Well, almost." He cringed at the memories of when he left her that day in October three years ago.

She stuck her tongue out at him. "So we better go again."

Lucas pulled her on top of him, and she squealed. "What're you, making demands?"

"You're damn right I am," she said. "And you know you'll abide by every single one."

Lucas moved her wavy hair away from her face, stared at her in a way that made her skin heat up. "Anything you want." Before they kissed, he added, "I know before this, we hadn't been able to be _together_ in a little while, but I'm always, always thinking about you."

"I know," she reassured him. "I'm just so lucky I get to come home to you and our amazing kids every single day." She breathed out when she felt tears looming. The sacredness of these moments still overwhelmed her. "I just love you!"

 _I can never get enough I love you's, especially from you._ "I love you too! Don't cry!"

"Sorry," she said, laughed at herself.

"Come here." He pulled her down and kissed her, traced lines on her bare back. "I hate it when you're upset."

"I'm not. I'm sentimental," she joked. "OK, I'll shut up now." She leaned down to kiss him, and they made love in the comfort of their home once more, until the sun rose.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-


	14. It Means Nothing

**Let me know what you think of this one, please.  
**

 _Chapter Thirteen_

It Means Nothing 

_Friday, February 8th, 2030 7:30pm_

That evening after dinner, Adrian found himself knocking on Margie's dorm room door with a stack of DVDs that he decided to bring with him to school at the last minute. When she answered–she was alone. "Seriously?"

"OK look, I know you're pissed at me, but this whole thing isn't going to fix itself. Can we please just talk at least?"

Margie sighed, moved away from the door, but left it open–a sign he could enter. Adrian moved into her room, closing the door shut behind him, but not all the way to give her air–so she didn't feel trapped. He took a seat at her desk chair and faced her. "Margie...it's been a week. You book it after every single class and completely duck me–I...I understand where you're coming from, but I don't want to just...stop talking to you."

"Adrian; I need my space, OK?" she said, her tone curt and hard. A slight accent slipped past her lips, which only happened when she was mad or frustrated. "It's not easy for me to be around you after what happened in Boston. It's awkward, and makes me feel very uncomfortable and extremely vulnerable. I don't know how I'm going to manage just being your friend. In order for me to figure that out...I need _a minute_."

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

That Friday, Aunt Haley and Uncle Nathan invited all of us over for dinner. By all of us I mean my brothers, myself, my parents and Grandpa Larry. We were gathered around the table, enjoying decent conversation and some good laughs. I was trying my hardest to stay emotionally present. It was difficult, but at least I was trying.

"So, Mattie," Dad began, and I finished my sip of water.

"Mattie, put the phone down," Aunt Haley said. "Your uncle is talking to you."

"I know, Mom," Mattie said, turned back to my father.

"What's going on with you? How're things on the basketball team?"

"Pretty good," Mattie answered. His hair was longer and nearly covered his eyes. Mattie was quiet and shy, going through middle school and all, but sweet.

"If you ask me, he's slightly...distracted," Uncle Nathan said, sipped his beer and gave his son that famous smirk.

Mom looked at the both of them with a raised brow. "What does that mean?"

"Mattie's got a little crush," Aunt Haley said, and it was her turn to sip her wine.

I watched my cousin's eyes widen and color fill his cheeks. " _Mom,"_ he said. "No I don't."

"What's her name?" Uncle Nathan asked, a devious smile on his face. " _Gabriella_?"

" _Dad_!"

"Aw, don't tease him," I said, noted the way Mattie was blushing so hard. "That's mean!"

"Wait wait, we're not teasing him," Dad said, held out his hand. "What's she like, nephew?"

"I'm not telling you guys anything," Mattie said, then chugged his glass of milk so he wouldn't have to talk, and my dad and uncle started laughing.

After dinner, we all made our way over to the family room, drinks in hand, with music playing softly on the stereo. I sat on the couch, watched my brothers as they played with Grandpa amidst all the toys Mom brought over. I hardly noticed Uncle Nathan take a seat next to me until the couch cushions dipped from his weight. "Do you want something else to drink? Soda? Water?"

"I'm good," I said. I looked down as my uncle patted my knee.

"How're you doing? You look kinda overwhelmed and sad." Uncle Nathan's gaze was gentle and kind.

"Um..." I began, and I felt the tears start to prick at my eyes. "I'm OK," was what I finally settled on.

He nodded, knew that he wasn't going to get any further on the subject right now, and asked, "How's physical therapy going? When are you coming to use my gym next?"

"PT is going well. My therapist is kind of an asshole, but he's growing on me." Uncle Nathan chuckled, and I did the same. "Maybe I can come use your gym this weekend sometime? Is that OK?"

 _"Of course,"_ he answered. "How about tomorrow? Hey, you could even stay the night!"

"You sure you wouldn't mind?"

Uncle Nathan gave me a look as if to say, _you're joking, right?_ I laughed. "Let's pretend you never even asked that. It's settled." He waved to my father, who looked over from his place on the love seat next to Mom. He pointed at me and said, "She's staying over. There's no argument."

"You can have her," Grandpa Larry said, and I rolled my eyes. Uncle Nathan just laughed again.

A knock on the front door stole all our attention. "I'll get it," Mattie said, and headed towards the door. He unlocked it and pulled it open to reveal Uncle Julian, Natalie, and the twins, with Aunt Brooke front and center, holding two bottles: one white and one red wine. "Hey, fam!"

"Aunt Brooke!"

Aunt Brooke swooped in to give Matthew a hug, and greeted the rest of us in a similar fashion. She cranked the music up and eventually people were dancing. Leave it to Aunt Brooke to make such an entrance.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Lucas and Peyton's hands were linked on the love seat, with Miles bobbing up and down on Lucas' lap. He squeezed her hand and asked, "Are you tired?"

"I'm fine," Peyton replied. "Are you?"

He was about to answer when Brooke came over and opened her arms for Miles. "Hi, my beautiful nephew." She scooped him up into her grasp, and sat next to Peyton. "Have you guys decided when you're baptizing him?"

"Oh gosh, things have been so crazy we haven't had a chance to even think about it," Peyton admitted. "We should get on that, Luke."

"Yes we should." Lucas looked at Brooke and added, "You know you're gonna be his godmother, right?" His question earned a light slap to his knee from his wife, to which he whispered, "What?"

Brooke placed her hand over her heart. "Really?"

"I was gonna get you a little something when I asked you. Don't look so shocked." Peyton laughed. "You're Riley's godmother."

"I know, but still." Brooke let out a breath. "It's an honor every single time. I'm gonna cry!"

Lucas' hand appeared, clutching a tissue. Both women laughed, Brooke grabbed the tissue and Peyton shoved his hand away.

-x-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-x-

That night, long after everyone had gone, I was sitting in of the many guest rooms of Uncle Nathan and Aunt Haley's mansion. Though the pillows were nice and fluffy and the sheets soft, it was nothing like my own bed and my own room. I did enjoy when Aunt Haley knocked on the door bearing milk and cookies, though.

"I know, I know, you're 17 now, but I couldn't resist." Aunt Haley rested the tray of milk and homemade chocolate chip cookies on the bed and took a seat next to it, careful not to let it spill. "How's everything going, honey?"

"It's OK," I answered, shyly took a cookie. "School's been tough; I'm glad all my college applications are out of the way, though."

"That's so exciting!"

"Mhm, it is," I said. I broke off a piece of cookie and ate it, let the treat melt in my mouth.

"You don't sound very thrilled," Aunt Haley said, taking a sip from her glass of milk.

"It's just, talking about college and the world that awaits makes me really, really anxious," I said, my answer as honest as they come. "...And it stresses me out." I sighed, looked at my aunt. She was always so caring, loving, and importantly, trustworthy. "Can I tell you something I haven't told anyone?"

"Of course."

"I applied to the internship program for seniors at school, and I got in."

Tree Hill High offered a competitive internship program for qualified seniors, in which, if accepted, you apply to an internship of your choosing–often one affiliated with the school.

Aunt Haley's whole face lit up when I told her. "That's amazing! Congratulations," she said, her voice soft and sweet. "Why haven't you told anyone? It's great news."

"Honestly...because I was convinced I wasn't gonna get in. I mean, you know how competitive it is…and my self confidence hasn't been so high these days."

I could tell Aunt Haley was itching to ask, _why_ , but didn't, probably because she already knew. She put her hand over mine and squeezed it. "What are you thinking of getting involved in? Something with writing? Editing? Publishing?"

"Actually, I'm sort of thinking of doing something different. Maybe healthcare, check out the hospital setting."

"Awesome. You see? Things are working out. And I just wanna say, you're going to _love_ college."

"You think so?"

"Oh, absolutely. Especially the learning. It's going to completely blow your mind and open it to the world. You'll see."

"That's what Adrian always used to say when I asked him about school."

"You miss him, huh."

"Yeah," I breathed out, my voice cracked and fragile. "Sorry..."

"Oh honey, you have nothing to be sorry about." Aunt Haley watched me, and asked ever so gently, "What do you miss about him?"

I shook my head, as if to say _I can't do this,_ pressed my palm into my eyes and cried.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

The next morning, I was pretty quiet at breakfast, just munching on cereal before anyone else woke up. After crying in front of Aunt Haley, I needed more time to myself to regroup; the crying knocked me out last night so bad that I could do nothing but sleep. Of course, being in such a full household, me being alone didn't last long. Soon I heard my uncle Nathan's dominating footsteps coming down the stairs and into the kitchen, in a cotton white t shirt and simple plaid pajama bottoms. "Good morning, sweetie," he greeted, kissed me atop my head. "What're you doing up so early?"

I shrugged, gave him a wan smile as he moved to the other side of the island. The counter separated us. "I was hungry?"

"So you're eating dry cereal?" He asked lightly, a smile on his face. "I can make you some pancakes. French toast. An omelette?"

"It's OK." I looked at him, and I knew that everything I _wasn't_ saying was in the green of my eyes.

Uncle Nathan leaned over so his elbows were touching the granite counter. "Ella," he said. His voice held a honey-like sound. "What's going on, baby?"

"Aunt Haley watched me cry about it last night," I answered. "I'm trying to stay...you know."

"Yeah...I just wish you didn't _have_ to be so strong _all_ the time."

"I feel like I can't win," I said. My voice broke in two.

"What do you mean?"

"If I talk about him, I feel like I talk about him _too much._ If I don't talk about him I feel like I suffer in silence. None of it seems fair."

Uncle Nathan moved to my side of the counter, and wiped away a stray tear on my cheek with the pad of his thumb. "No, it's not fair. I want you to know something," he said, ever so sincere. "You can _always_ come talk to me about it, no matter what. I don't care if it's for the fourth time or the 40th time. Ella, I don't want you to feel like you can't share what you're feeling with anyone, OK? You _have_ to talk about it. We're family. You're safe with us, and you're safe with me. I promise."

I began to cry, and Uncle Nathan pulled me over for a hug, and I breathed in his comforting scent as he patted my back. "How about a little snack before we exercise?"

"Oh, right," I said, breathed in though I sounded congested from all the crying. "I forgot about that."

"You gotta exercise. It'll be fun! What do you say I make you my famous peanut butter banana smoothie first, though?"

"OK," I relented, and I watched from my seat as Uncle Nathan began to prepare the beverage for me.

Afterwards, we headed to Uncle Nathan's home gym and started with some gentle stretched on his elevated exercise mat. Then it was off to the recumbent bike. Uncle Nathan set it to 20 minutes.

"20 minutes?" I asked. "At PT we do 15 now."

"I thought we could up the tempo a bit. What do you say?"

I thought about what Joshua said about the work I had to do on my own, and it was easy to agree. "Let's do it." I made sure my feet sat snug in the straps attached to the pedals, and began to push. Uncle Nathan had also upped the resistance on the bike, so I had to push harder.I realized that the hardest minutes on the bike were _always_ at the beginning. I breathed through the push-back, shut my eyes, gritted my teeth, and pretended I was anywhere but here.

"Nice job, keep pushing, Ella," Uncle Nathan said. I could no longer see him, but I felt him there, and that was all that mattered.

"This is tough," I admitted. The force made my legs start to quiver and burn in effort. Still, I pushed. I remembered Dr. Farrell once told me it was going to take me three times the effort to exercise and get results than anyone else.

"I know," Uncle Nathan said. I heard his voice drift closer to me. "I know it's hard, but I want you to keep going. I want you to push through it. I want you to take all that pain, all that hurt, all that frustration, all that sadness, all that _heartbreak_ , and _push through."_

I felt tears coming, and I breathed to get through their threat. I was seven minutes in. I shut my eyes and the bike's display dissipated. Uncle Nathan's voice soon faded out, became muffled. The upbeat music that he had put on began to dwindle into the air. Then, I heard Adrian's voice. Remembered us laughing together. Felt his hands on me. Smelled his cologne. The thoughts, scents and sensations overwhelmed me. My legs slowed, softened, and I began to falter.

"No. No, don't do that," Uncle Nathan said, his voice deep, strict, but caring. "Don't slow down on me. Come on!"

The visions of my boyfriend vanished, and the bicycle's display reappeared. I began concentrating on the ascending numbers, willed them to somehow speed up and get to 20 minutes. I stared so hard I thought the thing would explode. I pushed harder. The wheels spun. The resistance seemed to ease at last.

"That's what I'm talking about!" Uncle Nathan said, and a grin spread across his handsome face. "Keep it up; I wanna see those wheels spin!"

I shut my eyes again, and this time, I didn't see Adrian's face. I saw nothing. Just darkness. As my uncle's voice guided me through those passing minutes, I fought to find the light.

"Come on, Ella. Finish strong. I know how strong you are." My hands squeezed the handles on the bike. My legs were throbbing, but I didn't stop. My eyes were teary. "30 seconds."

I watched as the numbers continued to ascend; up; up; up. 19:40. 19:45. 19:50. 20:00. The bike let out one long beep, and with Uncle Nathan's hand on my shoulder, I halted with one long, desperate exhale.

Uncle Nathan moved only to grab me a full water bottle, which I gladly took and drained at least half of. He knelt on his haunches and let me sit and rest for a moment. "How do you feel?"

I hung my head back and looked back at him. "…Energized."

"Yeah?" He gently released my right foot from the strap and let it touch the floor, did the same with the left foot. Then, he swung the left leg over with great care.

"Yeah," I breathed. "Need more water."

He handed me the same water bottle without protest, watched as I finished it off. I caught the way he was looking at me, as he said with his gaze, without any words at all, how proud he was of me.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

 _Valentine's Day, 2030_

That morning, Peyton woke up extra early due to a busy day ahead at work. After showering and getting dressed, she bent down towards her husband's sleeping form, kissed his temple twice, then the shell of his ear.

"Peyt?" he whispered. He shifted to lie on his back. "It's early."

"No, don't wake up," she pleaded. "I have to go to work." She ran a hand through his soft hair. "Go back to sleep. I'll see you later, OK? Roslyn's agreed to take Miles to the daycare when she gets here."

"OK," he said, still groggy. "Baby?"

"Hm?"

"There's a surprise for you downstairs," he said, smiled sleepily up at her. "In the parlor."

"What?" she laughed softly. "...What did you do?"

Lucas rubbed the sleep from his eyes. "Go see."

"Stay in bed," she said, and then grabbed her purse and headed downstairs as quietly as she could. Peyton turned a corner and headed into the parlor, and right on the mantel was a vase of a dozen beautiful red and white roses, with an envelope propped up against the vase. Also there was a beautiful new easel and paint set.

When Peyton turned around, delighted, Lucas was standing there, still in his boxers. "I told you to stay in bed!"

"I wanted to see your reaction," he argued. "You've been saying you wanted a new easel and oil paint set. Now you have both! And you can put it anywhere you want; I just put it there so you could see. Do you like it?"

"Luke, I love it...I can't believe you did that." She moved closer to him, kissed him on the mouth. "Thank you so much...that was so thoughtful."

He kissed her, deeply this time. "You're welcome."

She rested her head against his bare chest, inhaled his scent. "Now I really have to go," she pouted. "I'll see you tonight?"

"I'll be getting home late because of class, but I'll see you then."

Peyton reached to wipe the rest of the sleep from his beautiful eyes, then kissed the tip of his nose. "I love you!"

"I love you too, babe. Have a good day."

-x-x-x- **EGS-** x-x-x-

Today, I walked the halls at school and paid zero attention to anyone. At lunch, I ate with only Junot Diaz's _This is How You Lose Her_ there to keep me company. I even shut off my phone, not wanting to be bothered or distracted by messages or Facebook or Snapchat or Instagram or whatever else. I just held the book in my hands and flipped page after page after page, reminded myself to take a few bites of my lunch, too.

Afterwards, I craved a coffee to fight off my sleepiness, but alas there wasn't one in sight. I got to my locker, and that's when I saw the heart-shaped note.

 _Screw the hetero-normative, romantic, commercialized Valentine's traditions...this day should include best friends, too :) I love you, Chica! You deserve nothing but the best now and always._

 _Xoxo, Isa_

 _"_ So you got my note, huh?" Isa's arm went around my shoulder, and she laughed when I jumped just a bit.

"Ugh, you scared me!" I gently nudged her. "Thank you for this. Was really sweet."

"Anytime," she replied. We began walking down the hallway together. "So, how're you doing? I tried texting you."

"Yeah...I needed to unplug from my phone for a bit," I explained. "Sorry."

"And how are you doing _today?"_

I scowled. "I don't like today."

"Valentine's Day is crap, anyways," Isa said, though I knew that was just to make me feel better.

I gave her a look. "Right. And what did Hector get you?"

Isa reached into her oversized purse. "Some chocolate," she admitted, fished out that typical heart-shaped box. "You want?"

"Nah," I said. "All yours."

Isa rubbed my shoulder. "You know I'm here for you."

"I know," I assured her. "I just..kinda can't wait for this day to be over. I'm trying really hard not to be cynical...but just being honest."

"I hear ya," Isabel said. We stopped in front of a classroom. "This is me."

I wanted so badly to ask her to hangout with me instead of Hector tonight, like I knew she was going to. Asking was pretty ballsy, and I would never, never actually go through with it. I just didn't have it in me. "Have fun tonight!"

"Please, please call me if you need anything or are feeling upset. Seriously."

"Hey, it's like you said. Valentine's Day is crap. It's all good."

"You promise?"

"I promise." I sent her a sincere smile for good measure, waved and walked down the hall to my next class.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

A knock on Adrian's door pulled him away from listening to his soothing music. "It's open," he called, grateful that his roommate had left to eat with his friends. The door opened, and it was Rudy. "What's up, man? You ready?" he asked.

"For what?"

"...Dinner," Rudy said, his tone even and flat. "I've been texting you for mad long."

"Sorry," Adrian replied. He'd left his phone to charge and didn't really pay attention. "I thought I'd skip out on dinner tonight, dude."

"Why?"

"Just not hungry."

Rudy watched him. "This isn't because of what today is, is it?"

"No." Adrian leaned back on his bed and suddenly felt tired.

"You and Margie?"

"Nah, it's not that. I'm just not feeling up to it, OK? Go ahead without me. I have food here, and I'll be fine. I'm thinking I'll practice sax for a little while."

Rudy raised his hands in surrender. "Alright, fine. See you later?"

"Yeah. See you."

Rudy nodded, left the room, shut the door behind him, and was gone. Adrian was left with his music, his saxophone, and his thoughts–his thoughts of _her_.

-x-x-x- **EGS-** x-x-x-

I was relieved to see my mother pull up to the front of school. She greeted me as I climbed into the car. "How was today?"

"Was OK."

I felt her watching me. "You feel like talking?"

I sighed. "Not really, no. How was your day?"

I spent the ride home listening to Mom rant about her day at the studio, and as soon as we pulled up to the house, I was desperate to get into my bed and forget today ever happened. I could, at least until dinner.

A knock on my door stopped me from my planned evening. "Come in." It was Mom with Riley, and instantly my countenance brightened. "Hi!" Riley's step quickened, and with Mom's help he climbed onto the bed with me. I noticed he was carrying something in his little hand. "What's that, baby?"

"He wants to show you something he drew. Something especially for his big sister," Mom said, ran her hand down Riley's back.

"Let me see!"

"Ri, say Happy Valentine's Day!" Mom said, and I watched as my brother showed me his drawing, full of swirls, scribbles and circles.

"Happy Valentine," Riley said, smiled at me.

"Aw, thank you so much! Come here, my baby." Riley crawled into my arms, and I kissed him over and over, hugged him tightly. "I love you so much!"

"Love you," Riley replied.

"Here, want to help me put it on the wall?"

"Ya!"

Together, we taped the drawing to my wall, and then went to eat dinner. Grandpa Larry also got me a card for today, signed with his name with only half the letters it was a new thing since the stroke). Afterwards, Mom pulled me aside upstairs, after Riley fell asleep and Grandpa retreated to his own room to watch TV.

"I have something for you," Mom said, as I sat down on the edge of her bed. She went into her closet and returned with a gift bag.

"I knew it," I said, and I took the gift bag. Inside was candy, chocolates, even a stuffed teddy bear and a card. Mom always went all out to make every single holiday–big or small–special.

Mom laughed, "I had to hide it because then Riley would want all the sweets, or the teddy bear." She kissed my forehead. "Happy Valentine's Day, sweetheart. You've always been my Valentine."

"Careful, if you say that louder, Dad might hear you," I teased. "Thanks, Mom. I'm gonna enjoy getting all new cavities."

"Don't eat it all at once!"

"I'm _kidding_. Jesus." I thanked her again, and took my bag into my room to finish my homework.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

The house had fallen asleep, except for Peyton, who lay in bed under the covers, waited somewhat anxiously for the sounds of Lucas' footsteps ascending the staircase, to see his silhouette in the doorway, hear him washing up.

Eventually, Peyton's eyes drooped shut and she was in and out of sleep, until she heard the sounds she yearned to hear. "Luke?"

"It's me," his sweet voice reassured her, his footsteps stopping at the side of the bed. "I'm sorry I woke you," he whispered. He bent down to kiss her forehead.

"I was only half-asleep," Peyton said. She reached down to turn on the bedside lamp and smiled at him. "Hi."

"Hey you." Lucas sat on the edge of the bed near his wife, reached down to take off his shoes and sighed when doing so. "What a long day." He ran a hand up and down her arm.

"I love my new gifts, baby," she said. "I painted a little when everyone was upstairs after dinner."

"Oh yeah? I'm glad." He chuckled as she patted the space beside her. "In a second, just need to brush my teeth. Be right back." As he got up, Peyton pulled gently on his arm and kissed him again, and didn't let go for a moment or two.

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

 _Sunday,_ _Feb_ _r_ _uary 17_ _th_ _, 2030_

The Sunday of my baby brother's baptism found us in the family Ford, on our way to the church. I sat in the back with Miles, Riley, and Grandpa Larry, whereas Mom sat in the passenger seat with Dad behind the wheel.

"Is my brother coming or not?" Grandpa Larry asked, pausing from his game with Riley.

"You invited Uncle Mark?" I asked nobody in particular, and added before I could stop myself, "Why?"

"Ella," Dad said.

"He _is_ my brother, you know," Grandpa said, being sure to include just enough sass.

I muttered _he doesn't act like it,_ under my breath.

"Uncle Mark is coming," Mom announced, and afterwards sent me a glare through the back mirror. "He'll be meeting us at the church."

Slowly but surely the church began to fill up with our family and closest friends, and I took a seat at the front next to Grandpa Larry.

"Grandpa, take off your hat; we're in a church," I whispered, as Aunt Lisa took a seat on Grandpa Larry's other side.

"Oh who are you now, giving orders," Grandpa snarled at me. His red cap stayed snug on his head and I had half a mind to tear it off.

I bit my lip so as not to cause a scene in front of our family and friends who were arriving. "Grandpa, it's a sign of respect. Take off your hat. Right now."

"Shh!"

I shared a quick glance with Aunt Lisa, and I swiped the hat right off Grandpa's head, shoving it into my purse.

"Hey!"

"Be quiet!" I said. "You'll get the cap back when we're outside."

"Take it easy, Larry," Aunt Lisa said, patted Grandpa's leg. That seemed to calm him.

Aunt Brooke and Uncle Julian were to assume the role of Miles' godparents, and did so when the ceremony began.

I subtly peered over my shoulder at one point, and sure enough Uncle Mark was sitting in one of the pews at the back, looking on as Miles was welcomed as a child of God. As far as I knew, my parents were never particularly religious, but baptism was always important to them both.

I turned back and watched my mother start to cry, and then I blinked and the ceremony was over. It was to be followed by brunch at Grandma Karen's house. My parents were originally going to have brunch at a restaurant, but Grandma thought that absurd and insisted on throwing a brunch.

Outside of the church, we took more photographs. Right after one with myself, Riley, Miles, and my parents, I pulled Mom aside.

"You're lucky you're wearing waterproof mascara, Mom," I said.

"Why? Does it look bad?!"

"No, no," I said, holding onto her arm. "Calm down. Is Uncle Mark coming to the brunch?"

"Of course," Mom replied. "What am I gonna do, not invite him? Don't be ridiculous. Why all the preoccupation about Uncle Mark?"

I stared at her. "Ok… do you not remember Thanksgiving?"

"You're still on that? That was so long ago, Ella. Enough now."

I heaved a sigh. "Fine, but I'm not talking to him."

Mom pointed at me with her manicured finger. "You better be polite."

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

As usual, Grandma Karen's home was decorated beautifully for the brunch. She'd made a cake instead of ordering one, and the food looked amazing–but that wasn't a surprise to me at all. Grandma Karen always went above and beyond in everything she did, giving it 110% percent.

"So, Ella," Uncle Mark took a seat next to me by the window with his plate of food. "What did you think of the baptism?"

"I thought the whole thing was very nice," I said, taking a nervous sip of my Ginger Ale.

Uncle Mark nodded. I could tell right away that he wasn't satisfied with my basic impression. "Are you religious?"

 _There it is._ "Not particularly," I answered truthfully. "Are you?"

He chuckled just a bit, and I noticed for the first time that he had dimples. "Well. More so than your grandfather." He took a bite of his food, then asked, "How's school?"

Something inside of me eased, grateful for neutral territory. "School is going well. Keeping me busy."

Uncle Mark nodded. "That's good. You seemed a bit zoned out just now."

My cheeks flushed. He'd caught me. I was thinking about Adrian–what things would be like if he were here with me. He loved these sorts of things; family get together's, I mean. I know what you're thinking– _him again?_ I'm working with Dr. Rosado about appropriate and effective coping mechanisms, but it's still really difficult. He was such a big part of my life, it's tough to contemplate days passing by without him. "Yeah...was just thinking."

"About?"

I shrugged, clearly uncomfortable. I caught my uncle Nathan's eyes across the room. He said everything with that gaze. "I'd rather not discuss it," I said, though my heart was pounding the entire time.

"Sorry to interrupt." I looked up to see Uncle Nathan, and I exhaled. He sent Uncle Mark a most cordial of smiles, and added, "Mark, it's nice to see you again."

I zoned out again as Uncle Nathan and Uncle Mark began a conversation, and I took that opportunity to slink away to my mother, who was feeding Riley at the table. I made a funny face in his direction and he laughed that magical laugh.

"Did you eat?"

"I did," I answered. I lowered my voice, asked, "Is it just me or does he expect every conversation to be deep and meaningful? I mean I know I hate small talk, but jeez."

"Who?" Mom asked, half distracted by my brother.

I mouthed, _Uncle Mark,_ and Mom looked at me. "Doesn't it bother you how he just shows up after so long of being...absent?"

"OK," Mom held up her free hand, and I quietened. "Ella, now is not the time. We can talk about this later."

"I just feel like every time he talks to me, it's an attack or interrogation."

"I'm sure he doesn't mean it that way," Mom whispered back. "Don't be so sensitive."

"Wow; never mind then." I moved to the couch away from everyone, looked uselessly at my phone for a little while, until the couch dipped and Jamie sat next to me. He'd come down from UNC-Chapel Hill for this special occasion, dressed to impress as always.

"What's up?"

"Not much," I answered. "What's up with you?"

"Not much," Jamie echoed. He smirked at me. "….Good talk."

"Sorry," I said. "It's just...I don't know, Uncle Mark bothers me."

Jamie took a sip of his drink. "Word. He bothers me too."

"Really?"

"Yeah; he's a prick. _No bueno._ "

I grabbed Jamie's arm and squeezed it. " _T_ _hank yo_ _u._ He's all smug, too. Ugh."

Jamie looked at me and chuckled. "Keep it chill, kid. Want me to get you something to drink? Karen made some bomb fruit punch."

"Sure," I answered. Jamie got up, and I settled in to watch my family from afar until Jamie returned. "How's Bridget doing? How come she's not here?"

"She's got the flu, so she's at her parent's house," Jamie replied, and then tapped me on the arm. "Check it out."

I turned to see Uncle Mark and Uncle Nathan had exited from the conversation, and now Uncle Mark and Mom were talking. Both me and Jamie concentrated to hear them over the rest of the noise.

"Peyton, you outdid yourself, this party is really wonderful," Uncle Mark did, sipping his drink.

"It was my mother-in-law, actually," Mom answered. "I'm happy you came. My father is over the moon."

"Peyton!" Grandpa Larry began his slow tread towards them from across the room. "Mark told me he's going to spend time with me next weekend!"

I looked to Jamie, and Mom looked to Uncle Mark. "Really?" she asked.

"I'm going to be in Charlotte for a work function, so I figured perhaps I could stop by and see my brother."

 _Wow, what a miracle,_ I thought to myself.

"I think that'd be a wonderful. He'd love that."

I stopped listening around that time, and turned back to Jamie, tried my hardest to make decent conversation.

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

 _Saturday, February 23_ _rd_ _, 2030_

I spent most of my Saturday lounging at home in sweats. It was pouring rain, so the rest of my family had the same idea as me. Except for Grandpa Larry, who sat by the front window in the parlor, dressed with his red baseball cap atop his head. I meandered into the kitchen, where Mom was cooking something for the boys. "What's up with Grandpa?"

"Shh," Mom replied, waved me over. "He's waiting for his brother."

"Wait, that's actually happening? He confirmed with you?"

Mom stopped what she was doing and looked at me. "He didn't."

I stared at her. "... _Wow."_

"Don't you dare make any inappropriate comments to your grandfather," Mom said, pointed at me.

"I'm not. You should at least admit your uncle Mark is an asshole, though." I motioned behind me. "Your dad is literally waiting by the window for him." I shook my head, went back to my grandpa, who remained there, and stared at the cars that would occasionally pass on our quiet street.

He waited and waited.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-


	15. How Will I Know

**Phew**. **I know it's been forever, but this was a rough one to finally finish. Please do let me know what you think of it.**

 _Chapter Fourteen_

How Will I Know 

_Thursday, February 28th, 2030 6am_

Adrian shoved his suitcase into the trunk of his Subaru Forrester, getting chills at the frigid early Philadelphia air. He quickly shut the trunk and got into his car, cranking the heat all the way up. _One thing I won't miss during Spring break is this fucking cold,_ he thought to himself. He stuck his key into the ignition, put his car in drive, pulled out of the parking lot and left UPENN's campus. Once he was on the highway, he used his car's phone system and dialed Rudy.

 _"Why are you calling me? It's like 6am."_

"Dude, I'm driving home."

 _"...You are? It's only Thursday."_

"I know. I'm not just going home. I'm going to see Ella."

"... _You are?! ..Damn, what are you gonna say? Do you know?"_

"I have no idea," Adrian replied, keeping his eyes on the road. "I have no idea what I'm going to say. I told her I would wait until Spring Break, and it's practically Spring Break, so. I wasn't about to wait the extra day just stewing with it."

"Right. So...what do you wanna do?"

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

 _Saturday, March 2, 2030_

That late afternoon, I was hanging out with Isa and Catherine. These days it was a rarity that we were all together. We were sprawled out on the couches in my family room, _Friends_ reruns playing on the tv screen. We were laughing about something or other when my phone went off. It was a text from Adrian.

 _Hey. I'm home on Spring Break now. I thought maybe you'd wanna get together and talk._

I'd read the text maybe four times when my two friends noticed I hadn't said a word. "You're pale," Isa noted. "What's the matter?"

"It's a text from Adrian," I said.

"What's it say?!" They both demanded, as they leaned forward from their spots on my sectional.

I read the text to them. "Wow," Isa remarked. "He wastes no time, does he?"

"Fuck," I said. "What do I do?"

"What do you mean?" Catherine asked. "Didn't you guys decide you would get together and talk once he was home for break? Reassess things?"

"Yeah, but–I mean...what do I say?"

"Well..." Isa began. "You wanna talk to him, don't you?"

"Yeah," I said, ran a hand through my hair. "What if he wants to meet today? Like, _now?"_

"So what if he does?" Catherine challenged. "You can kick us out."

"I just wish I were more prepared! I'm not making any fucking sense. Never mind then." I held my phone in my hand. "I'll just say he can come over…. right?"

"Ella," Catherine chuckled. She motioned between her and Isa. "We can't make this decision for you."

"I know, I know...fuck," I cursed again. "OK, OK." I typed a reply, and read it aloud before I hit send.

 _We can do that._ _You'll have to come over. My family is out;_ _i_ _t's just me here._

"Guess that's our cue to leave," Isa said, and she went to get up off the couch and put on her shoes.

"Wait," I said, and both my friends looked at me. "Can you guys–can you guys stay a little longer?"

Isa and Catherine sat back down, and that was all the reply I needed.

To pass the time, Isa and Catherine brought down more popcorn, Oroes and Twizzlers and some water. "You want?"

"I can't think about eating," I answered. My arm was draped over my stomach, which wouldn't stop contorting and twisting. I was afraid eating anything would put me over the edge. I got up and grabbed my crutches which rested beside me. "I have to go to the bathroom again."

"Geeze, Ell, how many times are you gonna pee?"

"I don't know!" I cried, exasperated. "Seriously. Something is wrong with me."

"You nervous?" Catherine asked, throwing a few popcorn into her mouth.

" _No,"_ Isa exclaimed. "Of course she is. Hello."

"Ella, don't be nervous. It's just Adrian, sheesh."

My phone went off in another text from him. "Be there in 15 minutes," I read aloud to my friends. "...Shit."

"Relax. Serenity now," Catherine said, holding out her hands. "Everything is gonna be fine. Don't worry!" She got up to put on her shoes, and Isa did the same.

"What are you guys doing?" I asked, and my stomach doubled over.

"Uh...leaving," Cath answered. "You don't really want us here when he's here, do you?"

"It would help! I'm such a fucking mess right now."

"Deep breaths," Isa said. "As much as you think you do, you don't need us here. _"_

I nodded, and tried to hide my teary eyes. Soon both my best friends bid me goodbye, and I was left alone. I sought comfort underneath the green blanket draped over the sectional, and I hoped the beloved characters on _Friends_ would put me at ease.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

He pulled into the driveway to her home and walked, with shaky knees, the short distance to her front door and rang the bell. As he waited, he reached into the pocket of his sweats for his phone when he felt it buzz. It was a text from her:

 _The door's unlocked. Just let yourself in. I'm in the family room._

He did, and the house appeared to be empty, much to his relief. He made his way downstairs to the family room where their large flat screen television, playing _Friends,_ was on low. Toys were heaped into a corner. He was too preoccupied with being in the same room with her again that he didn't even notice that her father had bought a new pool table. She was sitting up on the couch, legs stretched out in front of her under a blanket. A book lay on her lap, a bookmark nestled between the pages. Her hair was longer, wavier, and blonder if possible. Her eyes were still that stunning shade of green.

"Hi." She breathed out that one word into the air, and all the buildup and the silence between them had officially been broken.

"Hi," he returned. He carefully made his way over to her. "...Can I sit here?"

She swallowed and eyed the space he meant to occupy. She nodded, let him take a seat on the couch, whose cushions dipped under his weight. His lower back pressed gently into her left leg, and he shifted to make sure that wasn't bothersome. All the tension of this moment rested on his shoulders, and he slouched over from it, let out a deep, shattering breath.

"This is a little awkward," she said. "...Sorry."

He shook his head, looked at her for a good minute. There was so much he wanted to tell her.

 _I've missed you._

 _I still love and adore every single fucking part of you._

"So...there's a lot I wanna say."

"Me too."

"Ella, I..." he shook his head, and his body began to shake. "Sorry." He gripped the edge of the couch cushion, his nails digging into the fabric. "I wasn't totally and completely honest with you about my time at school."

"What do you mean?"

"When we were doing the long distance thing, my grades started to suffer. Everything just got so much harder: the classes, the assignments, the papers, the projects, all the demands. I couldn't keep up, and I thought taking a break was the solution. I was wrong, because it only got worse. We weren't talking, I started missing home...I should've...I should've known that–that whenever I entered a dark place, the person to pull me out of that dark place was you." His eyes were teary. "But you couldn't pull me out because I pushed you away. I pushed you away, and I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, Ella. You didn't deserve it." He swallowed so loud he was sure she heard it. "Can you tell me– can you tell me what you're thinking?"

She had covered her eyes with her palm, pressed it into her eyelids. "Adrian," she finally said. "Over and over again, I would always tell you how you were the first person–" He made a bold move to shift on the couch, get even closer to her. She held up her hand. He froze. She took another deep breath and her shoulders shook. Tears fell from her eyes. "You were the first. You opened my heart...I don't–I _still_ don't understand how you could do this to us. All I wanted to do was love you!"

Her words broke him, and tears fell from his eyes. He wiped them away harshly.

"But now it's like...every time I listen to a single John Coltrane track; every time I pass the rock climbing gym; every time I think of the trip we were going to take to Greece. You left me completely _stuck_. Stuck in my own head and my own goddamn feelings. I wish I could just turn it off! But I can't, because I love you so much still. It just seems like you don't feel the same way."

"No. _No._ That's NOT true." He boldly grabbed her hand, and it was warm to the touch. His heart leapt in his chest. "Of course I still love you. I didn't–" He sighed. "I didn't initiate the break because I _wanted_ to. I did it because I thought it was the right thing to do, and because I was afraid."

"Of what?"

"I was afraid the distance would make us bitter and cause us to resent each other. I just wanted a pause to be able to figure out how to better handle everything. Maybe it wasn't the best or smartest course of action...just seemed right at the time, Ella. I never intended to cause you any pain. I didn't set out to hurt you. I set out to save us."

"So now you're a damn martyr? Give me a break."

"No, I'm not saying I'm a martyr! I'm saying...did you ever stop to think that maybe our relationship is stronger than any ups and downs? That we could withstand this? That in the end it would actually work out?" He was breathing rather heavily, staring right at me. "That's...that's what I want. I want to work it out with you."

"I think...I think you need to make a choice. Either we get back together, or that's it."

"I already made my choice," he said. "I want us to be together." I looked down and saw his hand shaking. "Ella," he pleaded. "...Say something."

"I need...I need to think."

-x-x-x-x- **EGS-** x-x-x-x-

 _Wednesday, March 6, 2030_

I could tell today's PT session was going to be a little different by the look on Joshua's face. After we did the 15 minutes on the recumbent bike, Joshua and his assistant got out a tall movable mirror and set it in place.

"What's that for?" I asked.

"I want you to walk with me while looking in this mirror." Joshua motioned for me to stand, and I did.

"Do I have to?" I was only half-joking, but he didn't find it amusing. "OK, fine."

It's strange. Joshua and I had been working on my walking for a while now, but he had never asked me to walk while looking at myself. I had this habit of looking of the floor while walking for fear of falling, and every single time Joshua called me out on it. "I want you to look at yourself and walk."

"How?"

"You can do it," Joshua said. Slowly, he let go of me, and motioned for me to start walking. I put one foot in front of the other, felt myself start to sway as I overcompensated. The mirror began to move as I walked toward it, and I noticed the slight spasticity in my left hand and wrist as it hung in the air.

"Is there any point to this?"

"You know what the point is." Joshua smirked at me. "This is new for you. I want you to be able to process the biofeedback you're getting: how you're moving your body, and ways those movements can be strengthened."

"You think this could improve my body image and self image, don't you."

"Among other things, yes," Joshua said. "I do."

I didn't want to look at myself in the mirror. I greatly hesitated in doing so. I really didn't want to see my body's flaws whilst envisioning the way things were supposed to be. How I was supposed to walk. _Damn it,_ I thought to myself. _I hated when Joshua was right._

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

 _Friday, March 8th, 2030 7am_

After school, Lucas was heading to Charlotte with his team of Ravens for the annual Secret Sparkle Classic competition. His bags were packed, everything was set to go and yet he honestly wasn't too thrilled about having to leave his family for the weekend. Sure, his team was excited and more often than not, he fed off their enthusiasm...but he had a lot going on at home, and plus he knew Peyton wasn't thrilled about him going to Charlotte–even though she wouldn't admit it.

"Honey," he said, as he zipped up his duffle bag and headed out of their bedroom. It was early in the morning, so he was sure to keep his voice hushed. "If you don't want me to go on this trip, just tell me."

"Lucas, it's not that," Peyton whispered back. She held a sleepy Miles in her arms. They both went down the stairs, where they heard Ella rummaging around in the kitchen.

"You're sure."

"Yes, I'm sure."

"You just seem a little irritated," he said, reached to pat Miles' head because he couldn't resist the cute sleepiness.

"I just have an insane day ahead, including picking Ella up from school somehow." She stopped and turned to him. "It's not that I don't want you to go. I just wish it didn't have to be the whole weekend, that's all."

"OK. Then I'll leave on Saturday, after the game."

"Luke, you can't do that."

"Yes I can," Lucas said, with a slight chuckle. "I'm the coach; it's my team."

"You and I both know you can't bail out early on this weekend; it's a big one for you." She leaned in to peck his lips. "I'll manage." Lucas could only follow his wife into the kitchen, where Ella had poured herself a quick bowl of cereal. "I have to drop Miles off at daycare. Ella, you need to be ready at 2 when school lets out."

"OK." She was ready for school, yet didn't look so great.

"You OK?"

"I'm fine. I'll be in the car."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

At school, Isa spotted me easily in the library during study hall. Luckily, the corner I was in wasn't too busy with other students. "Hey," she whispered. She sat down. "So… you decided you're gonna talk to Adrian again tomorrow?"

"Yeah." It was true. I wanted to talk to him again, when I'd have even more time to collect my thoughts. "I kinda...I kinda feel like we're moving in circles."

"How come?"

"Well. He drives all the way from Philly to tell me he still wants to be with me, which is honestly what I've been waiting to hear all along, and I go ahead and tell him I need to think."

Isa shrugged. "You're protecting yourself. Anyone whose been hurt like you have would do the same thing." She leaned forward. "Honestly? You should make him fight for it, Ell. He put you through _so much._ "

"Yeah..."

Isa reached across the table and put her hand over mine. "I really think you're doing the right thing. Don't worry. ...If you want, I can drop you off at where ever you're meeting him."

"I was thinking we could just meet at The Pancake House."

"Cool. I've gotta head over to meet with my art teacher, but just let me know, OK?"

"Sounds good. I'll see you later then."

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

 _Saturday, March_ _9_ _th_ _,_ _2030_ _6pm_

"You good?" Isa asked me, as she pulled her car near the fire hydrant by The Pancake House. I turned to her from where I sat. I was to meet Adrian there in ten minutes.

"No."

"Give yourself more credit!"

"I just wish...I just wish I was better at this."

"We all do." Isa patted with my leg. "I was thinking of running an errand or two, do you want me to wait for you?"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. It's no big deal." She motioned to The Pancake House with her chin. "Get in there, Chica."

As soon as I sat down, I really had no idea what possessed me to meet Adrian at the same place we had our first date. Luckily I didn't sit in the same booth, but still. It was kinda painful. Not enough to make me leave, but enough to make it hurt a bit. I sipped my water and played the packets of cream, looked out at the streets of my town. The bell to the front door of the restaurant then chimed, and I looked and saw Adrian walking towards me.

"Hey," he said. "Sorry I'm a bit late; took me a minute to find a spot." He jutted his chin towards me. "How'd you get here?"

"Isa did me a favor and dropped me off."

Adrian nodded, played mindlessly with his menu. "So, The Pancake House, huh?"

My cheeks filled in color. "Yeah...I didn't think it would be right to talk at my place. It's...you know. Plus, I figure if one of us gets hungry we could at least eat. Win-win."

He nodded. "Yeah. Win-win."

I waited until the waitress took our orders, then I sat up straighter and brushed the hair from my face. "So...look–I think we need to talk," I said. "Seriously."

"Alright," Adrian said. He leaned forward. We looked at each other for a good four seconds before I spoke.

"I've been going over this and over this in my head ever since we last spoke. I don't...I don't exactly know how to articulate what I've been feeling without repeating what I told you when I was drunk at Debbie's New Years Eve party."

"OK..." he enunciated slowly. "So what does that mean?"

I sighed. "Adrian, you really, _really_ fucking hurt me. Truly."

"…I know."

"No." I shook my head. "I don't think you know."

"Ella, I remember that night at Debbie's party, too. Just as much as you do–"

I held up my hand, and he stopped. "But you weren't honest with me. You were really struggling with school, and you didn't share that with me. You made me think you were happy with me, that we could one day start our lives together, but then you throw this break idea into the mix. You deceived me."

"No I didn't. I _was_ happy with you! You make me _so_ happy..." he ran a hand through his shorter hair. The air around us seemed to weigh him down. "I told you; I was afraid the distance would ruin us. That's all! It wasn't because I didn't want to be with you. It wasn't because I didn't love you. Ella, I _fucking_ love you…I'm starting to think you don't know how much."

"How could I?! You put us on a break that I didn't even want. You don't talk to me for weeks. You send me confusing, drunk texts–"

"It was one text, and I drove all the way here from Philly to tell you that I want to be with you. Does that not count for anything now?"

"What, you want me to give you all this credit for doing something you should have done weeks ago?!" I leaned toward him and clapped my hands together. "I want you to understand something. I can't just let you waltz back into my life with any doubt at all that you know what you did, and why what you did fucking matters."

"I know what I did!" he shouted. "You're hesitating, but we love each other. That should be enough!"

We paused only to let the waitress drop our plates onto the table. Though I wasn't hungry anymore.

"Adrian," I breathed, tears pricking my eyes. My heart was heavy. "…It's not."

"…What?!" He stood up. "…This is bullshit."

"Excuse me; don't talk to me like that. Where are you going? We're not done."

"Yes, we are," Adrian snapped. "Can't believe this. I have to go." He got up and left me there, with all this anger and frustration. I could do nothing but call Isa and invite her to join me.

"I can't believe I'm having someone's leftover pancakes," she said sitting in Adrian's seat, as she dug her fork into the treat.

"Hey, come on. He didn't even touch them. Don't make me feel bad–"

"That was a joke, Ell. Relax." She took a bite. "These pancakes are bomb." She then added, "I can't believe he just left you here. What an ass."

"Yeah..." I then proceeded to tell Isa everything, from the moment Adrian sat down to the moment he left.

"You deserve so much better than someone who's going to walk out just because he doesn't like what he's hearing, Chica. At the very _least_."

"Yeah," I said again. "Fuck. Why and when did this become such a mess?"

Isa did a half-shrug. "It's his fault, not yours."

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x

"Ugh. I wish I didn't have to go home," I breathed into the air as I sat into Isa's car and we had turned onto my block.

Isa laughed lightly. "Why?"

"Because. I love my grandfather, but he's insufferable, _especially_ when my dad's not around. It's awful."

"Aw. He can't be that bad."

"No, he is. Trust me. You sure you don't wanna stick around for a bit?"

"I wish, but I gotta go prepare for the art class I'm subbing tomorrow."

"Alright," I said, un-clipped my seat belt. "Thanks for the ride. And for having pancakes with me."

"No problem." We shared a hug. "Love ya."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

In those moments where both Riley and Miles were fast asleep, Peyton decided to spend time with her father. With her baby monitors in hand, she knocked on the door. Her father lay crooked on the bed, under the covers. Peyton turned on the light.

"Turn that off!" Larry barked. "I'm sleeping!"

"…Dad, it's 8:30," Peyton said, and she got onto the bed next to him. "You still have to take your medicine. You can't go to bed without it."

"So give me the damn pills," Larry said, sitting up in bed.

Peyton had prepared for such an event, and released the pills in the palm of her hand into a little plastic cup for her father to take. "Here. Take them with plenty of water."

"I know!" She watched as her father swallowed each pill with a large gulp of water. "Can you leave now?"

"I came to hang out with you, Dad."

"Oh no," Larry protested. "Go to your room! You're going to put on those crappy TV shows."

"So what?" she asked, and laughed to herself. Sure enough, she grabbed the remote and turned on the television, browsing the channels.

-x-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-x-

I let myself in the house and went right upstairs, where I heard the buzzing of my grandfather's television. I knocked on the door lightly before letting myself in, to see my mother on the bed next to Grandpa, who as usual had a scowl on his face.

"Hey!" Mom greeted. "What's going on?"

I had yet to tell my mother about Adrian coming over that Saturday and talking to me, _or_ about us meeting at The Pancake House. I felt compelled to just deal with it on my own, as I found that a lot of the time if you asked too many people for advice, you got too many opinions. Plus I suppose I didn't feel like answering all these questions or going too deep into my feelings–it was exhausting every time I did it. So, I said, "I just got back from The Pancake House. I was with Isabel."

"Oh, that's fun! She went home?"

"Yeah; I invited her to stay for a bit, but she's busy and insanely productive, as usual." I took a seat on the foot of Grandpa's bed and took off my sneakers. Then I crawled next to my mom, and Grandpa Larry erupted.

"No! Get off my bed! Your feet are filthy!"

"No they aren't," I said. "I'm not dirty; geez."

"Yes you are!"

"Dad," Mom said.

"You both are so goddamn irritating! Filthy pigs."

"Wow, Grandpa, real nice," I said. I turned to Mom. "He is _so_ incredibly rude."

"Completely," Mom said. "Dad, take it easy."

"Where the hell's Lucas?"

"Yeah, if Dad were here, Grandpa wouldn't be acting like such an ass," I said, curling into the pillow.

"Dad, Lucas is in Charlotte for the basketball competition, remember? I told you that," Mom said, turning up the volume a bit on the tv. "And Ella, you need to respect your grandfather."

 _There it is._ "Why? Respect is a two way-street. He treats me like crap."

"He loves you," Mom said. "Right, Dad?"

"Turn off my lights!"

"…Well this was lovely," I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm. "I'm out."

"Why?" Mom pouted. "We haven't hung out in so long!"

"Mom, we hung out like, two nights ago." I lowered my voice. "You just don't want me to leave you alone with _him."_

"...OK, that's partly true," Mom chuckled. "Please don't go."

"You'll be fine." I patted her cheek. "Bye!" I rolled off the bed, put on my sneakers and headed upstairs to my room, where I could relax at last. Being alone would have felt more isolating and suffocating had I not met Isa right after Adrian left. Her presence was more than comforting, and she did sort of cheer me up a bit.

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

 _Sunday, March 10th, 2030 8pm_

That night, I lay in my mother's bed as she read a new book. I shifted to my side, saw that her attention wouldn't stray. So I poked her in the side.

"Yes?" she asked.

"I'm bored," I pouted.

"Read your book," Mom replied.

"When's Dad coming back again?"

"He should be home any minute." Knowing that she wouldn't get any more reading done with me talking, Mom set aside her book and let me cuddle into her side. "What are you thinking about?"

"Adrian."

"What about Adrian?"

I sighed. "OK well, I didn't exactly tell anyone this, but...he came over a couple nights ago and we talked. He said–he said he wants me back."

Mom's mouth gaped open. "He _did?"_

 _"_ Don't look so surprised, Mom," I joked. "He basically said he wants to be together, but...I don't know. That night I said I was with Isa at The Pancake House? I was actually with Adrian. I tried to explain to him how much he hurt me, and he walked out. I feel like my heart and mind are telling me different things. Of course I want to be with him, but I don't want to take him back so fast… he put me through so much that I think he should like, work for it. Am I wrong? Seriously."

"Well, he put you through a lot, baby. I think it's totally reasonable to feel guarded with him."

"Yeah. It just sucks to once have felt so unbelievably close to someone and then all of a sudden feel like you can't tell them anything." Mom nodded, and I watched something change in her eyes. Did you–"

"Did I what?" she asked.

"...Never mind."

"No, what is it? You can ask me."

I sighed, took a breath as my stomach lurched. "Well it just is reminiscent of when you and Dad were having problems. How did you overcome that feeling of being so disconnected from him at one point? Did you...did you know you guys would eventually work it out?"

"Well...it was really difficult, and heartbreaking in the beginning… but that's why it took us so long to get back on track, if you remember. I was awfully guarded and cautious, but then I saw how much your dad was working to be better, making up for everything he put us through. He didn't just tell me he loved me and was sorry, he _showed_ me. Also, if I'm being honest with myself, deep down in my heart I knew I wanted us to be a family again..." Mom took a deep breath. "So at some point, I just had to let myself go."

"...Was it scary?"

" _V_ _ery_ scary...but, your dad was there." A small smile rested on her lips. "So it was all worth it in the end. Don't you think so?"

I couldn't imagine a world where my parents _hadn't_ worked it out after everything they went through. The thought alone–of them no longer married–scared me to death. So, I nodded. "I do. So….are you saying Adrian should show me how sorry he is, and if he does, that I should let him back in?"

Mom was about to reply, when a pair of familiar footsteps climbed up the stairs and stood in the doorway. "There he is," she said, in a tone only reserved for my dad.

"Hi," Dad returned. He set his duffle bag on the floor by the bed as he stepped into the bedroom. "What are you guys up to?"

"Chatting," I answered. "Congrats on winning in Charlotte, Dad!"

"Thanks!"

I sat up in bed. Mom and Dad most likely wanted alone time now. "Well, I guess I'll get going, then."

"Why?"

"Stay," Mom said.

"Yeah, stay," Dad agreed. "I didn't mean to kick you out. You don't have to leave just because I'm here."

I glanced between both of them. "You're sure?"

"Yes," They echoed again. Dad went into the bathroom to wash up, and returned rather fast. He crawled into bed beside Mom, and I was on her other side.

"When's the last time we hung out, just the original three?"

I shrugged. "Dunno. A while? Don't talk too loud, Grandpa might hear you and crash the party."

We all began to laugh, and then Mom and I began asking Dad all kinds of questions about the competition in Charlotte.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

 _Monday, March 11_ _th_ _, 2030_

Dad and I were driving in his beloved Ford Mustang on our way to Tree Hill High, marking the start of yet another week. Dad let me control the stereo, which was always greatly appreciated. "Glad you had such a great time in Charlotte."

"Thanks! The Classic competition is always a fun one."

I looked over to my father's handsome face, and saw his eyes trained on the road. "Dad?"

"Hm?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," he replied easily. "What's up?"

"How did Sheff seem at the competition?"

"Sheff? He did really well. He–"

"I don't mean his performance as a basketball player. I mean–I mean his _state of mind."_

Dad turned to me at a red light. "Why do you ask?"

I leaned my head against the headrest of the passenger seat. "It's a long story. Maybe I shouldn't have brought it up." I shook my head. "Never mind."

"What is it?" He sent me a soft smile. "You can share with me; if you want."

The remainder of the way to school, I told Dad all about what was going on between me and Sheff. "Remember when I got in trouble because I ditched school to sneak onto Grandpa's boat?...I was with Sheff." I cringed. "We kissed. _Please_ don't be mad, Dad–"

"I had no idea Sheff liked you in that way."

"Well, he does. A lot. I mean, at least I think it's a lot. Enough to kiss me and proclaim he wants to be with me even though he fully well knows Adrian is still in the picture." I sighed heavily. "I had to drop Sheff from my tutoring schedule because it just got too awkward, and now I guess...I guess I miss my _friend._ I don't know what to do."

"Have you tried talking to him since all this?"

"I think he's avoiding me," I admitted. "Though, _I_ haven't really tried getting in touch with him at all, either."

"Do you want to?"

"Like I said: I miss my friend…but I know considering how things went down the last time we spoke, I should probably give him space...right?"

"How long's it been?"

"Six weeks I think? I see him in the hallways, and he doesn't so much as look at me."

"Just give him time, Ella. Sounds like he's really hurt." Dad pulled into the Tree Hill High staff parking lot and cut the ignition.

"Yeah." I climbed out of the car the same time he did, and we crossed the lot and headed inside Tree Hill High to start our days.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Around lunchtime, I texted Isa to tell her I'd meet up with her later, and I found Sheff sitting with fellow Ravens at their usual table outside by the quad. "Hey guys," I said, and cringed inwardly at my own fucking awkwardness.

"What's good, Ella?"

Finally, Sheff looked over at me. "Hey," he said, his tone even.

"Can I talk to you?" I asked, motioned for him to come sit at my otherwise empty table.

He made his way over to my table, sat down, and waited for me to do the same. We sat and looked at each other for about three seconds, before he raised his brows and nodded, clearly uncomfortable. "So..."

"Um..." I said, and began to blush. "OK. I know this may seem a little awkward."

"A little?" Sheff countered. "What's today's date?"

"...What?"

"It's March 11th. The last time we spoke, it was the end of January."

"Wait, you kept count?" He didn't laugh. "...That was a joke. Sorry." I brushed my hair behind my ears. "Look, Sheff, you were obviously really hurt by the whole thing, and I was trying to give you space. I thought that was what you wanted."

"Right."

"...What?" I stared hard at him. "I don't understand what you want from me."

He scoffed. "What do you want from _me_? You're the one who called me over here."

"Yeah, because I miss my friend!" I said, then sighed. "I can imagine it must be hard for you to be around me and everything–"

"I want to be with you and you don't want me back, Ella! Of course it's difficult. It's fucking painful." He shook his head at me. "You coming over here telling me you miss me makes it harder. It's also pretty selfish."

"Selfish!?"

"Yes! You're only caring about what you want. What about me? It's too much. If this is the way it has to be, then that's it!"

"So you're saying you don't want to talk at all?"

"...Why're you making me do this? Isn't it obvious? We haven't talked in over a month–"

"Alright," I spoke over him. "Excuse me for thinking we could work it out and be friends again. Guess I'm an idiot for thinking our _friendship_ might get through this." I pushed up from the table and grabbed my crutches. "See you later."

-x-x-x- **EGS-** x-x-x-

This was the second Monday at my internship at Tree Hill General Hospital. Angela Matthews, who taught me as a Freshman, was the new head senior internship coordinator. She'd placed me at the Department of Pediatrics at Tree Hill General Hospital, where I would shadow clinicians and volunteer with Child Life Specialists, among other things. My shift started at 1pm and went until 4pm, on Mondays and Wednesdays.

This Monday, I was shadowing Heather, a Child Life Specialist in the pediatric pre-op clinic. "So Ella, we have another volunteer working with us today," Heather said. "I hope that's alright with you."

"Totally," I said.

"There he is," Heather said, and I watched her hospital issue badge bouncing off her collarbone as she walked. "Finn!"

A tall boy who looked about my age turned at the sound of his name. He was lanky, with dark hair and brown eyes and a slightly crooked nose. "What's up?"

"Finn, this is Ella." Heather motioned between the two of us with her hands. "Ella, Finn. You two volunteers are going to watch over the waiting room today. Do arts and crafts with the patients. Sound good?"

"Yeah," we echoed.

"Good," Heather said. She pointed at us both and added, "Be friends!"

We looked at each other awkwardly, before we both sat down at one of the small tables in the center of the waiting room. "So." Finn looked up at me while he picked up a red crayon. "How'd you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Mess up your legs." Finn made broad strokes with the red crayon onto the paper in front of him. "I mean, that's why you're using crutches, right?"

"Um..." I said, and I wondered briefly why questions like that still caught me off guard after all these years. "I'm disabled, actually."

"What's your disability?"

I looked at Finn and tried very quickly to size him up. I couldn't tell if he was just being curious or being rude. Regardless of each possibility, I just told the truth. "It's called cerebral palsy."

He nodded. "One of my friends at school has that. He's in a wheelchair."

"Which school do you go to? You don't go to Tree Hill High, do you?"

"Nah. I go to Oak Lake."

"Oh, cool."

Soon all these little kids joined us at the table, and we began to color with them.

"You like Tree Hill High?" he asked me, after he interacted with the kids for a few minutes.

"...It's alright," I answered honestly. "What kind of person would I be if I actually _liked_ high school?"

The tip of Finn's upper lip curled in a smirk. "Right. You a loner or something?"

I furrowed my brows at him. "What makes you ask that?"

He shrugged at me. "Just a feeling. Are you?"

I set down my blue crayon. "Are _you_?"

Finn smirked at me again, leaned back in his chair. "Well played."

"You didn't answer me."

"You didn't answer _me,"_ Finn shot back. "See how that works?"

"Let's say you are a loner," I began. "What brings you here?"

"Community service hours for school. You?"

"Pretty much the same." He nodded at me, and we both went back to drawing.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

 _Monday, March 11th, 2030 1:30pm_

Lucas was sitting at his desk in his office, reviewing his Ravens playbook and occasionally glancing at the framed photograph of Coach Whitey Durham and himself on his desk. Whitey had passed away two years ago from old age, and Lucas delivered his eulogy. It truly seemed like yesterday that Lucas sat on the other side of that desk as a scrawny 16 year-old.

A knock on the door jolted him from his thoughts. "Come in."

Of all people who had walked into his office over the years, he surely wasn't expecting this person to do so. "Adrian," Lucas said, putting down his pen. "How are you doing? Everything OK?"

"Everything's fine, sir..." he hesitated. "Can I close the door?"

"Sure; have a seat," Lucas urged, cleaning up his side of the desk quickly. "What's _up?_ It's been a while, huh?"

"Yeah," Adrian said, then cleared his throat. Anyone could tell, he was clearly uncomfortable and not really in the mood for small talk. "I'm really sorry to have to barge into your office while you're working. I stopped by the Tutor Center to see if Ella was on shift, but she wasn't there. Do you know if she's in class?"

"Ella's actually volunteering right now at Tree Hill General Hospital. She got into our internship program. She'll be there until later this afternoon, around 4, then I've gotta go pick her up."

"Oh...wow. OK, then. Sorry." He moved to get up, but Lucas held up his hand.

"Whoa, whoa. Hold on. Sit down for a second. ...How's life?"

"It's OK. ...You really wanna talk to me after what I've done? I hurt Ella pretty bad."

"I think you're the one who knocked on my door," Lucas said, as gently as he could. "Something on your mind?"

Adrian swallowed.

"Look, I don't want you to worry about whatever's happening between you and Ella," Lucas said. "You became a part of our family a long time ago, and I'll always be here for you no matter what. Seriously."

"Thanks," he said. Lucas caught the tears in his eyes. "Um… Ella and I talked the other night, and I got angry and walked out on her, and I shouldn't have. I just want to find her and tell her I'm sorry….do you think–do you think you could take me with you when you pick her up?"

Lucas scratched the back of his neck. "Uh..."

"Mr. Scott, I gotta apologize to her. I'm supposed to be on my way back to UPENN right now, but I can't leave things like this."

Lucas sighed. "Alright. Meet me back here at 3:30."

"3:30–thank you. Thank you so much." Adrian pushed up from the chair and held out his hand, which Lucas shook. "See you then."

On his way out of Lucas' office, Adrian spotted Sheff Morgan walking towards him. They made eye contact, so Adrian figured it'd be weird if he didn't say hello. "What's up, Sheff?"

"Hi..." Sheff answered. The friend he was with patted him on the arm and turned left down the other hallway. "What are you doing here?"

Adrian shrugged and decided not to reveal anything. "Just decided to pay a visit to the school. Pretty weird being here; I feel so out of place."

Sheff nodded. "Probably shouldn't have come back." He passed Adrian without another word, and knocked on Lucas' office door, then went in.

Adrian was left perplexed, and could do nothing but go down the hallway, deciding to say a quick hello to his old teacher, Angela.

-x-x-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-x-

I sat outside the main entrance of the hospital on one of their many benches, and waited for my father's Ford Mustang to pull up. A pair of footsteps stole my attention, and I saw Finn take a seat next to me.

"Hey," he said. "You waiting for someone?"

"My dad," I answered.

"How long you been out here?"

I checked my phone. It was five minutes to 4, and they let us out early from internship today. "Like 10 minutes."

Finn nodded. I couldn't tell under the jackets we were met to wear at the hospital, but he was wearing a blue collared shirt and slacks. Wearing jeans was against hospital dress code. "You want me to just give you a ride?"

"Oh, that's OK. My dad should be here any second."

Finn nodded, looked over at me. "...I'm not some psycho, you know."

I laughed a bit. "What? I didn't say you were."

"Just the way you said no so fast. I'm not gonna like, stab you once you get in my car."

I turned to him. "I said no because my dad's coming to get me. I wouldn't want to inconvenience you, anyway."

"It wouldn't be an inconvenience. Tree Hill's so fucking small, you could drive across it in like ten seconds."

I chuckled. "Thank you for the offer."

"You're welcome." Finn rested his arm on the bench and turned to me some more. "So you don't drive then?"

"Not yet. My dad's starting to push me, though. I honestly feel like I won't be able to do it."

"Why not?"

"I don't trust myself to be able to drive a regular car with gas and brake pedals. It would have to be a modified car."

"Yeah maybe so, but they have tons of different accessible modifications for cars nowadays. I wouldn't worry."

"Thanks."

"No problem. So what do you do?"

I was about to answer when I saw my father's car pull towards the curb. "Oh, that's my dad. I'll be back Wednesday. I guess I'll see you then?"

"See you." Finn got up and nodded in my direction, then turned and walked to his car.

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

I was only expecting to see my dad get out of the Mustang, but Adrian got out of the passenger side instead, and my stomach dropped. "What..."

Dad sent me an apologetic glance from where he sat, and put his blinkers on. Then he pulled away from the curb and found a parking spot.

"Hi," Adrian said, and paused. I could tell he was wondering whether or not he should sit down.

"What are you doing here?"

"I came to apologize," he said. "I'm sorry." He sat down, and I didn't object.

"You know what? I was trying to have a real fucking conversation with you, and you couldn't even handle that. You just left me there."

He said nothing.

"See, you doing shit like that makes me think you _still_ really have no idea about the weight and gravity of what you did." I stared hard at him. "I'll make it real clear for you: _you broke my heart._ OK? I was completely devastated. Didn't get out of bed for days. I couldn't _breathe."_ A few tears fell down my face. "I'm trying to protect myself. I have to."

"...Protect yourself from me?" he whispered, tears in his voice. I only cried harder.

"Adrian...I love you. _Of course_ I love you, but it's like my mind and heart are fighting each other. My head says one thing while my heart says something else... I just don't want to hurt like that again. I'm scared."

He took a deep breath and swallowed. "Life's too short to be afraid, you know."

"I'm protecting myself from how you make me _feel._ You always had the most potential to break my heart, and then you did! Getting through that was one of the hardest things I've ever gone through, and as cliché as this sounds, I'm not so sure I could do it twice."

"I'm not going to put you through it twice," was what he said next. "Ella. I love you so much. I just want to be together. Can't it be that simple?"

"Are you even hearing me?" I asked, shook my head at him. "Of course it can't be that simple. I'm _hurt._ Please don't discount my feelings..."

"No, I'm not, I'm not–"

"How can you expect us to be better if you're not willing to put in the _work_? I mean, look at my parents–"

"I didn't say I wasn't _willing_. I just don't want you to drag around this pain and hurt only because your head is telling you to, because logic is trying to convince you to. Life is too short to be scared, and it's too short to be in pain all the time! If I've learned anything from these past few months, it's that I don't want to spend another second away from you." He looked long and hard at me. "Isn't that what you want, too?"

My lips began to tremble as I met his gaze. Tears slipped from my eyes and I wiped them away hurriedly. "….I need time, and you really need to understand that."

"...OK," he replied. "OK."

"It's not because I don't love you," I cried.

He got teary eyed, too. "I know," he said. "I know."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-


	16. From Where You Are

**Holy hell. This took me just four days. I hope you like it.**

 _Chapter Fifteen_

From Where You Are

 _Monday, March 11th, 2030_

 _"Come in," Lucas said, and put down his pen when he saw Sheff Morgan walk through the door._

 _"You wanted to see me, Coach?"_

 _"Have a seat, Sheff. I wanted to talk to you about something."_

 _He sat down. "Alright."_

 _"...Did you go out drinking with my daughter in the middle of the day recently?"_

 _Sheff's cheeks filled with color and he began to fidget. "Uh..."_

 _"Tell me the truth."_

 _"...Yes, Coach."_

 _Lucas grounded his jaw and clenched his teeth. "You're lucky I'm just finding out about this now. What did I tell you and the rest of the team about day drinking? Drinking at all? One wrong move because you're messing around, and your prospects are ruined! Watch yourself. Do you understand me?"_

 _"Yeah, but Coach–"_

 _"But what? It's yes; not yeah."_

 _"Coach, we're 17 and 18 years old. You can't expect us not to drink and have fun. We're Ravens."_

 _Lucas leaned over his desk, and Sheff moved back. "Listen to me. When you joined this team, you adopted an Honor Code. You're right; you are a Raven, and as a Tree Hill Raven, you are thus held to a higher standard of decorum and behavior. We have a reputation to uphold, and as captain of this year's squad, you need to understand that better than anyone. Do I make myself clear?"_

 _"Yes," Sheff answered, and then mumbled something under his breath._

 _"What?" Lucas demanded. "Speak up."_

 _"Nothing. Nothing."_

 _Lucas watched him for a bit, and then nodded. "Go to class. Shut the door behind you."_

 _-x-_

 _Sheff exited his coach's office to an empty hallway, except for his friend and fellow Raven Alberto, who was waiting for him. "What was that about?"_

 _"Nothing." Sheff shook his head and tried to shake off his agitation. "Coach is just acting all pissy because I was out with his little girl drinking during the day." He noted the look on Alberto's face. "….What?"_

 _A pair of domineering footsteps made Sheff turn around to face his basketball coach. Shit._

 _"Excuse me," Lucas boomed. "You're damn right she's my little girl. Above anything else, I am Ella's father, and I am her father way before I am your coach. You better think long and hard before you decide to whisk her off somewhere that she could get hurt and think I wouldn't find out about it!"_

 _"Sorry, Coach," he said, as he blushed profusely._

 _Lucas tossed Sheff his Letterman jacket. "You left this on my chair. Get to class; both of you!" He watched as both his players scurried off like children, and then proceeded with his da_ _y._

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

I got into the car after Adrian left in an Uber, and clipped on my seatbelt. I stared my father down. "…How could you do that?!" I cried, and my eyes filled in tears.

"Oh honey," Dad said. His face fell. "I–"

"I _don't_ like to be taken by surprise. You could have at least _warned_ me he was coming!"

Dad swallowed. "You're right. …I'm sorry, baby. Don't cry," he pleaded. He grabbed my hand and squeezed it. "Don't cry."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Adrian was back in his dorm room at UPENN that evening nearing midnight. After he placed his duffle bag on the foot of the bed, he sat down, chucked off his shoes and lay on his back. He pulled his phone out of his pocket to see a missed call from his mom, a text from his dad, and a text from Margie.

 _You back?_

He typed back a reply:

 _Yeah. Just got here._

Not too long later, there was a knock on his door. Adrian pulled it open to reveal Margie on the other side, but he could've guessed it was her with his eyes closed. She was wearing sweatpants and a UPENN hoodie which was covering her hair, and her eyes were puffy and swollen. "...Hi."

"Hey," Adrian whispered back. "...You OK?"

Margie shook her head and her lips began to tremble. "Are you alone?"

"I think Tyler's at the library." He ushered Margie inside and shut the door. He watched as she removed her moccasin slippers and sat next to him on his bed. "What's _up?"_

"…Well you know how I went back to Santa Ana for break?"

"Yeah."

Margie hesitated. "...This is gonna sound so stupid, but going home just made me miss it even more now that I'm back here. I mean I had _such_ a great time, but now that it's over, I'm reminded of everything home is and everything this place _isn't._ Does that make any sense?"

"Yeah. Yeah it does." Adrian watched her and asked, "What do you miss about home?"

"My mom," Margie admitted. "And my abuela. And, her food."

He laughed lightly and put a hand on her back. "All great things, I reckon."

"Oh yeah," Margie said, smiled a little. She turned to him and said, "I've never told anyone this, but lately I've been feeling really lonely and kind of depressed….I'm sorry!"

"Hey, hey..." He reached for her hand. "You don't have to apologize. I've been feeling the same way, too."

"Really?"

"Yeah," Adrian said. "I mean...everyone says college is meant to be the best four years of your life…..I'm not so sure about that with the way things are going. Don't get me wrong, I've had some awesome times–but lately, they're not outweighing the bad ones."

"Mhm," Margie said. "...I'm really glad I'm not alone."

Adrian sent her a small smile, and ignored the weight of her sentiment. She lay her head on his shoulder. "You're not alone."

"Thanks," she whispered, and there they stayed until the moment passed.

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

 _Wednesday, March 13_ _th_ _, 2030 2pm_

That afternoon, I was again shadowing Heather, the Child Life Specialist who worked in pediatrics at the hospital. We were about to enter an exam room, where a clinician I had just met was going to examine and clear a young patient before they were to have surgery.

"OK, I'm going to introduce you first," Heather said, which meant I had to wait before going in the room until I had the patient's (or, rather, their parents') consent. Heather knocked on the door and I heard the echoes of her speaking with the family behind the door.

A tap on my shoulder caused me to turn around. It was Finn. "Oh, hey."

"Hey," he returned, also wearing the ugly, plain hospital jacket over his clothes. "What's up?"

"Not much! You shadowing Heather, too?"

"Yep." He nodded, looked me over not-so-subtly. "You look nice."

I looked down at my blue jacket and dress pants with white sneakers. Pretty simple, if you ask me. "...I do?"

He chuckled. "Usually when I tell most girls that, they thank me–but yes, you do. I really like your hair."

I was wearing my hair down today, and it was long and wavy. "Thanks," I said, and I sent a small smile his way. His medium length, dark hair looked a bit messy, but almost purposefully so. Under his jacket he wore a button down shirt and pants. "You look nice, too."

Finn put both his hands behind his back. "I know."

I shook my head, and then the door in front of us opened. Heather waved us both in. The patient was a young boy who was with his mother. As I understood, the clinician was going to draw his blood, and the young boy feared needles. Heather brought out picture books and an edition of _Where's Wald_ _o,_ in the hopes that it would act as a distraction. I watched as the boy's head kept turning away from the book to watch the needle move towards his arm, and Heather tried to urge him to pay attention to the book.

 _"_ He needs to see what's going on," the boy's mother said, and Heather nodded.

Afterwards, Heather assigned Finn and I to assemble several tote gift bags. She gave us special instructions, then left us to the task in one of the hospital's many conference rooms. "You never did answer my question," Finn said, after a few minutes of us assembling bags in silence.

"Which one would that be?"

"What you do," he said. "I asked you right before your dad came to get you on Monday."

"Oh yeah," I said, and my cheeks flushed a bit. "I'm a writer; I guess."

"You guess?"

"Well! It's not like I've published anything yet."

"So?" He leaned forward in the black ergonomic chair. "Do you like to write?"

"I love it. I've been writing since I was a little kid."

"Do you write every day?"

"Pretty much."

"Then you're a writer." He crossed one leg over the other. "Does it bother you when people say they're 'aspiring writers?' because it annoys the living fuck outta me. If you write every day, then you're a writer. If you understand–and are able to articulate–the fundamental, universal and simultaneously specific facets of life, you're a writer. So, in other words, you not having published anything yet means absolutely nothing. At least to me."

"...You're a writer too, aren't you?" I studied Finn carefully. His slightly crooked nose was covered in freckles, and he had a birthmark on his right cheekbone. He had beautiful, big dark brown eyes.

He smirked. "Fuck yeah."

"I won't ask you what you write about–because that question irritates me to no end."

"Say more."

I leaned forward in my chair, my task momentarily abandoned. "If you think about it, it's kind of insulting. It's like asking someone, 'what do you see with your eyes?' The answer is everything, right? Presumably so. We see everything. Therefore, I write about everything. Does that make sense? It must."

Finn nodded, and the tips of his rosy lips curled upwards in a smile. "It makes complete sense." He ducked down and reached for his backpack, from which he pulled out a pair of portable Bluetooth headphones. "Let's put some tunes on." He hooked up his I-Phone to the speakers, and a playlist commenced. "What kind of music do you like?"

"Oof. That's a rather all-encompassing question."

"Yeah? How so?"

I cleared my throat. "Well, my mom's actually an A&R executive and CEO of an independent record label. So I grew up with music and musicians, basically."

"Really? Which label?"

I hesitated, then showed him the back of my red I-Phone case, which bore a Red Bedroom Records sticker with its unique logo. "This one."

"Oh shit," Finn marveled. "A few of my favorite artists are signed to that label! Your mom has good taste, which means you probably do, too."

I laughed. "You think music taste is genetic?"

Finn gave me a look. "You just said you grew up with music–what your mother exposed you to, right?" When I nodded, he continued, "So, what she listened to had to have influenced you in some way." He disconnected his phone from the speakers. "Forget my playlists; show me yours!"

"You know, I really don't think we're _there_ yet…."

Finn rolled his eyes. "Ha ha. How else are we supposed to bond and all that crap?"

I wonder if Finn noticed that I began to blush. "We're bonding now?"

 _He blushed a bit, too!_ "Fine; getting to know each other. Come on; show me!"

"OK, OK!" I hooked up my phone to Finn's speakers after opening Spotify, selected a playlist out of the several I had organized, and hit shuffle play. "I have many playlists for my many moods."

"And which mood is this?"

"…Rainy day, calm, mellow, soothing kinda mood," I answered, and the song began.

"Van Morrison," Finn said. "He's great."

"Indeed."

With the music playing on low, we continued assembling our tote bags whilst making light conversation. In the midst of it, Finn suddenly began to laugh, and I asked, "What?"

"I was just thinking about when I went on a date with this girl once. I tried asking her about the music she was into. ..I literally asked, 'What type of music do you like?'and she hesitated, so I went on, 'Do you like music?'… and she straight up looked me in the eye and went, '...I don't like sounds.'"

I burst out laughing. _"What?!_ Oh my God."

" _Right?!_ I was horrified. I was seriously thinking, _NEXT!_ Goes to show what happens when you try online dating."

I shook my head, and my stomach lurched. "Jeez."

"Yeah. It sucks; don't try it." He studied me for a second. "…You have a boyfriend."

"What?"

"I mean, don't you? You got a bit squirmy there when I mentioned online dating."

I hesitated, sucked air through my teeth. "The answer is kinda complicated...I don't really wanna talk about it."

Finn held up his hands. "Alright; fine. Not that I really care whether or not you have a boyfriend."

"Then why'd you mention it?" I couldn't help but let out an airy chuckle.

He shrugged. "Just making a simple observation."

Right then, my phone rang and the music playing got cut off. I noticed that it was almost four, and that my dad was calling me. "Hi Dad...oh, really? Well how late? How am I gonna get home?…so I just have to wait? Ok..ok fine." I sighed heavily upon hanging up the call.

"What's up?"

"My dad's gonna be late in picking me up; some work drama. Oh well." I somehow sensed what was gonna happen next.

"I could drive you home."

 _Knew it._ "Oh, that's OK."

He stared at me. "Ella, come on. What are you gonna do, just wait outside until dark?"

" _No._ I'll wait _inside_ , obviously." I sent him a cheeky smile.

"Can I just drive you home? It's no big deal."

I hung my head back. "Are you sure?"

"100% sure."

Finn drove an an old gray Nissan. "Yeah, this car's a piece of crap, but it's been good to me." We climbed into the car and he put my crutches on the backseat. "So. Since you had control over the music back there, it's my turn." He connected his phone to the stereo via his black AUX cord, and a song I recognized right away filled the space.

"You like Ed Sheeran?" I asked him, after clicking on my seat belt.

 _"_ Hell yeah; he's amazing." Finn pulled out of the parking lot as I began to direct him how to get to my house. "You don't think so?"

"Oh, I love Ed Sheeran," I said. "He's so talented."

Finn turned up the volume a bit, and we continued to talk about music and the like during the drive. "You play any instruments?"

"Piano, actually," I said. "Been at it for a while. How about you?"

"Just some guitar. Little singing, too."

"You sing?"

Finn nodded, kept his eyes straight ahead on the road. "Mostly covers."

"That's awesome," I replied.

"Yeah," he said, turned to me and smiled. "This is a nice neighborhood."

"Oh...yes, it is," I admitted. It was no secret we lived in an affluent part of town. Eventually, Finn turned onto my block. I pointed out the window. "It's this house here."

Finn whistled, and his Nissan came to a stop by the curb. "Very nice. You an only child?"

I un-clipped my seat belt. "Used to be. Now I have two younger brothers who I adore beyond reason. Are you?"

He nodded. "Mhm. It's just me and my mom."

"With me it's my parents, my brothers, and my grandfather. He can't live alone. He actually had a stroke last May. He was near death."

"….Damn; I'm sorry."

"Oh, it's OK." I pushed my hair behind my ears. "…..I don't know why I just told you that."

"It's alright," he reassured me with a soft smile on his face. He watched me, and then said, "You just blushed a bit."

"What?" I asked, let out a nervous chuckle.

"Just now, you blushed." He turned to me in his seat, the car still idling. "...You're kinda cute when you're all flustered."

I just smiled, not knowing what to say or how to react. "….Thanks, I guess."

"You're welcome." He motioned behind him with a jut of his chin. "You good with the door?"

It took me a moment to figure out what he was talking about. "Oh. Yeah, I'm good." I watched Finn get out of the car anyway. He reached into the back and grabbed my crutches to hand them to me. I stood up and held onto the open door for balance and stability. "Thank you, and thanks so much for the ride. I really appreciate it."

"No problem." Finn was about 6'3, and as he stood tall over me, he shoved his hands in the pockets of his jacket. We looked at each other for a second.

"Thanks for the ride."

"You said that already."

"I'm sorry; I don't really know what to do now."

Finn shuffled his feet. "…You could give me your number."

I laughed because I _really_ didn't know of any alternative. "...What?"

"What's so funny?" he asked, smiled.

"Ugh, I'm sorry!" I said again. "I laugh when I'm nervous, apparently." I looked up at him. "You really want my number?"

"Yeah," he said. "Why else would I have asked? Unless you in fact do have a boyfriend. Regardless of your answer, I would ask for your number anyway, because, well… I don't care."

I laughed again, but it wasn't a nervous one this time. "OK then." I recited my phone number for him to enter it into his contact list. "….My last name's Scott, by the way."

"I know; I saw on your ID badge today. Mine's Fitzpatrick."

I nodded. "Finn Fitzpatrick."

"Badass, right?" he shook his head when I laughed at him again. "….See you later, Ella Scott."

"Bye." I felt him watching me walk up to my front door, and I turned back to send him a wave. He did the same.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

When I walked in at about 4:15pm, Roslyn and Grandpa were sitting at the kitchen table, with a plate of biscuits and their usual cups of tea and coffee, respectively. "...Hey!" Roslyn greeted, watched as I shed my backpack, washed my hands at the sink, and sat down. "...Doesn't your dad usually pick you up? How did you get home?"

"I got a ride," I answered, nibbling on a biscuit. "Dad had to stay behind at work."

"Ah," she said, and then smirked at me. "A ride from who?"

I looked up at her, and remained nonchalant with a half shrug. "A friend."

Roslyn sent me a private glance, and I knew she saw right through me. "I see."

"Which friend?" Grandpa asked, after taking a sip of his weak and bitter coffee, just the way he liked it.

"From school." I knew exactly why I lied to him. If my grandfather caught word that I accepted a ride from a guy I barely knew, I'd be in deep shit. Also, he'd definitely tell my mother. That wouldn't be good. Time to shift the attention off me. "Where's Riley?"

"He's down for a nap," Roslyn explained. "Should be waking up any minute."

I nodded. "How was your day at the center, Grandpa?"

"It was great! We had a party!"

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

When Mom got home from work and from picking up Miles from daycare, Riley was awake and playing in his playpen. Grandpa Larry was in his room watching TV, and Roslyn was just going out the door. "I'm home!" Mom called through the house.

When she made it to the kitchen, she seemed surprised to see me–which I knew was gonna happen. "I thought you were supposed to wait for your father."

"I got a ride from a friend," I explained. "And I texted Dad that I was home already. Hello to you too."

"Hi." Mom kissed me on the cheek. "Which friend?"

"She said from school." Grandpa Larry emerged, leaned on his cane for support. "Hello, honey," he greeted Mom with a peck to the cheek.

I was grateful for Grandpa for interrupting just then, but I don't really know if I can explain why. Mom and Grandpa exchanged a few words, she greeted Riley, then took a sleepy Miles upstairs with her so she could change out of her work clothes. My mother's arrival breathed life into the home, as always.

After Dad arrived and dinner was served, the house began to wind down. After finishing up homework, I lay in my bed with my Spotify playlist on shuffle. Ed Sheeran's "Castle on the Hill" came on, and I shut my eyes to let the lyrics flood my ears.

My phone buzzed as it rested near my thigh, and I opened my eyes only to see who texted me. It was from an unsaved number, and the message read:

 _Hey, it's Finn. In lieu of a more clever_ _or witty_ _opening, enjoy this GIF of Stitch saying, "hi."_

I typed back.

 _Haha. :) Weird that you just texted me; I'm listening to Ed Sheeran right now–Castle on the Hill._

 _Great song. See ms like your night is going pretty well_

 _It is indeed! What about yours?_

Our texting continued for a while, until I drifted off to sleep.

-x-x-x- **EGS-** x-x-x-x-

 _Thursday, March 14_ _th_ _, 2030 1:10pm_

I stood at my corner top locker, quickly grabbed some books and such for my next class period. I turned when I heard an angry pair of footsteps approaching me, and nearly jumped to see Sheff. "Hey..."

"...Did you tell your dad about when we hung out on your grandpa's boat?"

"OK, look–"

"What the hell, Ella?! I could've gotten into a lot of trouble!"

A few fellow students looked our way as they passed through the hallway. "Sheff, lower your voice."

"No! I'm team captain! Do you get that? Coach could've benched me! That would've fucked everything up!"

"Will you _relax_? Nothing happened. You didn't get benched. Stop yelling at me," I demanded, my tone cold and hard like ice.

"I thought that day was supposed to be between us," Sheff said. "…Then you go and throw me under the bus just because you're pissed at me!?"

"I didn't throw you under the bus. I was talking to my father. The whole thing wasn't intentional and it wasn't driven by anger. I wouldn't do that."

He scoffed. "Yeah, OK."

"What is your problem? If you knew that you might get in trouble by going out drinking with me, maybe you shouldn't have done it. It's called using good judgment and making mature decisions."

He crossed his arms over his chest. "Way to be fucking preachy."

"You know what, Sheff? Screw you." I slammed my locker shut, locked it, and put my backpack on. "Stay away from me."

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

Today I was tutoring from 3pm until the Tutor Center closed at 6. I was still fuming from my confrontation with Sheff, but I was forced to hold it in and keep it together because anything less would be completely unprofessional. So I sat through session after session, including one with a freshman named Annie and one with a sophomore named Darren.

When everyone was gone, I went about my business and locked down the Tutor Center, then headed to the Whitey Durham Field House, where Dad always held basketball practice. I rolled my eyes upon the realization that Sheff would be there, but _oh fucking well._

"Hey," Dad greeted, whistle in his mouth. He blew his final whistle and his Ravens assembled only to be dismissed for the night. "You're still here?"

"They had me close the Tutor Center," I explained, then took a seat next to him on the lowest bleacher. "I guess I can just take an Uber home."

"I can drive you."

"Don't you have class tonight until late?"

He nodded. "I do, but home is only 15 minutes from here. It's not really that out of the way."

I really didn't feel like being stuck in a car with anyone, even for just 15 minutes–nothing against Dad and all–just wanted to be alone. "Nah, that's OK."

He nudged his shoulder with mine. "You alright? You seem upset."

My eyes darted to Sheff, dressed in his streets with white earbuds in his ears. Though I knew he wouldn't be able to hear us, I was still worried about him, or anyone, eavesdropping. "...Dad, can we just talk about this later?"

"Sure," he said, after hesitating. "If you're gonna take an Uber, text or call me when you get home. I'm serious."

"I will." I stood up and slipped my crutches on. "Have a good class."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

 _I'm home_

So read the text I sent to my dad just after I walked through the door and locked it behind me. Scents of tonight's dinner wafted from the kitchen, and as usual music was playing from Mom's sound system. As I walked into the kitchen, she was standing by the stove, Grandpa was sitting by the kitchen table, and Riley and Miles were sitting in their feeding chairs, looking as happy as can be. "Hey," I greeted the room.

"Hey! There you are. Why're you home so late?"

"They made me close the Tutor Center. I didn't want to trouble Dad with taking me home so I just took an Uber." I shed my backpack and washed my hands at the sink, patted Mom on her back. I bumped fists with my grandfather. "When's dinner gonna be ready?"

"20 minutes." Mom looked over her shoulder to see me pick up my bag and head away from them. "Hey, where are you going? I haven't seen you all day!"

"I need to go change; I'll be back in time to eat." Truthfully, I was in no mood to sit around and make small talk with my family. I was still pissed off and wanted this day just to end already.

The mere–and only–20 minutes I had to myself before dinner sped on by, and I found myself sitting in front of a heaping plate of baked chicken and steamed vegetables. Grandma Karen had paid us a surprise visit, so she sat at the other end of the table with her plate paired with a glass of white wine.

During the meal, amidst conversation and catching up I mostly kept to myself, but of course my grandma noticed. "Hey, kiddo–you OK?"

"Mhm. I'm fine." I put a forkful of food into my mouth to avoid talking anymore. I caught my mom and grandma sharing a glance, but I ignored them.

"Ella, are you sure there isn't something you want to get off your chest? You seem very bothered," Mom said, as she rested her cutlery on her plate.

"Yeah," Grandpa agreed. He wiped his mouth with his palm, brushed against the prickly hairs of his slight beard from not having shaved in a bit. He watched me and I avoided his stare. "…Does your boyfriend have another girl?"

"Dad–"

I threw my fork onto the table with a _clang_. "Hah. That's great. Real effing nice."

"Hey, take it easy," Mom demanded.

"Why? I'm obviously upset, and he just says stuff like that to stick the knife in and turn it."

"No." Mom shook her head. "He sees you're upset and wants to figure out why, that's all."

"Oh _please,_ Mom, give me a break." I pointed at my grandfather. "He wouldn't be able to tell if I was sad even if I was sobbing right in his face!"

"That's not true," Mom and Grandma said.

"Yes it is." I pushed back from the dinner table and took my plate to the sink, then headed upstairs to my room.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

It was nearing midnight when Lucas finally made his way up the steps to the bedroom he shared with his wife. He was sure to tiptoe so as not to wake anyone, and pushed the door open to see her fast asleep on her side of the bed, a book open across her chest with the bedside lamp still on. Lucas carefully set down his backpack at the foot of the bed, yet the noise caused Peyton's eyes to snap open. "It's me," he said, held out his hand. He pouted, "You fell asleep with the light on again."

"Hi," she said, her voice heavy with sleep. "I was trying to wait up for you and failed." She watched him as he began to undress, strip down to just his boxers. He crawled underneath the covers beside her, and she immediately cuddled into his side and felt his warmth.

"You didn't have to do that," he said, kissed her forehead, then her lips. "I get home too late."

"I don't care." She reached and turned off the lamp, and they were enveloped in darkness save for the blinking baby monitor that would alert them to Miles and Riley's cries. She rested her head on his chest, heard his heart beating. "How was it?"

"Pretty good," he answered. " _Really long_ days, though."

"I know," she lamented. "It'll all be worth it in the end; I know it will."

"Thanks baby," he whispered. "How was your evening without me?"

"Your mom saved the day and surprised us. I had her sleep over, she's on the pull out sofa in the library. Everything was relatively smooth."

"Relatively?"

"….Ella's upset about something, but I'm not sure what it is."

"I see." Lucas listened to his wife's breaths getting deeper and slower. She was falling asleep. He held her tighter, ran his hand up and down her arm, just as his eyelids got heavy. "Goodnight."

"Night, Luke. I love you so much..."

"I love you too."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Adrian headed to his room after supper to finish up his reading for his English class. As he walked through the brightly lit hallway, he passed Margie's room. He paused, but then decided to knock on her door.

"Hey," she greeted. "What's going on?"

Adrian shoved his hands in his pockets. "Not too much. Just thought I'd stop by and check in on you–can I come in?" Margie let him pass with a motion of her hand, and she shut the door behind them. Her room was dimly lit with a red pinkish light, her roommate nowhere to be found. Adrian took a seat on her chair, and she atop her own bed. "You feeling a little better?"

"I am," she said. "I think it was just a little homesickness, that's all." She crossed her legs one over the other. "How about you?"

"Me?"

"Yeah," Margie chuckled. "You. We haven't had a chance to talk about your Spring Break yet. I was too busy being...emotional."

"It was alright," Adrian said. He looked up at her, her gaze soft and unassuming. "Actually, I uh–I talked to Ella."

Her eyebrows shot up. "You did? How'd it go?! Are you guys–I mean, have you worked it out?"

He slouched, exhaled. "Um...I'm not really sure."

-x-

 _"I need time, and you really need to understand that."_

 _"...OK. OK."_

 _"It's not because I don't love you," she cried._

 _"I know," he said, tears in his eyes, too. "I know." He reached for her hand, but then hesitated. "So…where–where does this leave us?"_

 _"...I can't believe I'm gonna say this, but I think this break was a good idea, Adrian."_

-x-

Margie blew out a breath of air. "...Damn. Ella really said that?"

He nodded, leaned back in the chair. "Yeah, she did."

"So...are you guys _still_ on a break? Are you seeing other people? And, God, I'm not asking because–"

Adrian scratched the side of his temple, and exhaled. "Um…I don't think–I don't think we are."

"Which one, seeing other people, or that you're still together?"

He looked her in the eye. "Still together."

-x-x-x- **EGS-** x-x-x-

 _Friday, March 15th, 2030 3:30pm_

I have to admit. Nearly drowning in my uncle Nathan's pool three years ago was a blessing in disguise. It was a blessing because brought me to meet my therapist, Dr. Rosado, who has since been an absolute godsend. Today's session, she proved to be no different. I spoke with her about my discussions with Adrian and how I've been feeling. "….I'm learning a few things."

"Oh? Like what?" Dr. R kept a clipboard on her lap where she took notes.

"Well, I was completely heartbroken when Adrian initiated the break; I'm not denying that, but...when I recently told him I thought the break was a good idea, I meant it." I sighed, and I felt sudden relief and as though something lifted off my chest. "Lately, I really think–" My eyes filled in tears. "I think maybe my relationship with him has run its course." It was the first time I'd ever spoken those words aloud to _anyone_.

Dr. R nodded. "...You 'think maybe'?"

"I'm afraid to fully admit it and _avoid_ words like 'think,' and 'maybe,' because if I _do_ fully admit it, it becomes more real. At least it does to me." I reached for the box of tissues on Dr. R's desk and dabbed at my face.

"Mm. How did you come to this conclusion?"

The breaths leaving my lips were shaky and uneven. I placed my hand over my chest to calm down. "…I know in my heart that we're both growing into different people...into who we are to become. It's pulling us in opposite directions, and I think that's totally normal. There's nothing wrong with it. Plus, too much has passed: he initiated brought up the break thing in November, around Thanksgiving, right. It's mid March now–that's about four months. Changes abound, too…Adrian's thriving in school, _I'm_ volunteering at the hospital and about to get my own college acceptance letters...I don't know."

Dr. R cleared her throat. "You do know."

I nodded quickly to avoid bursting into heavier tears. "I remember when he stopped by my house at the beginning of his Spring Break and I told him, 'You have to make a decision; either we get back together or that's it.' All this time I was waiting for _him_ to do something…but…but what if the person who has to make a choice is _me_?"

"Mm."

"I mean, it makes sense, doesn't it? Because he said he did pick: he wants to be with me. So now whatever happens next is presumably in my control."

Dr. R nodded. "I would agree with that. Let's talk about it: what _is_ going to happen next, then?"

Dr. Rosado knew the answer to that question way before I did, and yet somehow she guided me through the darkness, the intense feelings, the confusion…all so I could figure it out on my own. I swallowed, and then I gave her an answer.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-


	17. High Hope

**Hi again. I hope you guys realize that all these updates so soon is SUPER rare. In any case, enjoy.  
**

 _Chapter Sixteen_

High Hope

 _Friday, March 15th, 2030 5:30pm_

Wearing a warm jacket, gloves, and a scarf, Adrian walked across UPENN's campus with a hot chocolate warming up his right palm. The winds were frigid and remains of snow crunched under his boots. His phone began to buzz in his front pocket, and he stopped in his tracks to see Ella's name go across the screen. He sank down into a nearby bench, and answered the call. "…Hey."

 _"Hi."_

He could tell something was off in her voice. "Everything OK?"

 _"Um...we should talk."_

"What's up?"

 _"OK...you know how I said a few days ago that this break was a good idea?"_

Adrian's heart began to pound in his chest, and he took silent breaths. "Yeah," he cleared his throat. "Yeah."

 _"I've been thinking a lot, Adrian. I came to a realization today."_

"What realization was that?" he rested his hot chocolate on the ground by his feet, leaned his elbow on his thigh.

 _"After all this time, **I** am the one who needed to make a decision–about us–and I have."_

"OK..." He didn't need to see the tears on her face to know they were there.

 _"...I think our time has passed."_

"Ella, please," Adrian said, his voice breaking in two. "...Don't–don't build it up. Don't get flowery. Just...just tell me what you mean." He _needed_ to hear her say it.

 _"...We should break up."_

He inhaled a sharp breath, his grip on his phone tightened. His mouth felt pasty and dry, and tears welled in his eyes. The sky above him was gray and dull, the air cold and unforgiving, and he thought it rather appropriate.

 _"…Adrian?"_

"I'm here," he said. He cleared his throat. "I'm here."

 _"Tell me what you're feeling."_

"…What I'm feeling?" He shook his head and scoffed. "I feel like I'm the biggest _fucking_ _idiot_ alive."

 _"No," she said, her voice gentle and as full of grace as it always had been. "...You're not an idiot. I actually think–I actually think the break did us a great service." She paused, then went on to say, "We're turning into different people, Adrian. You're already almost done with your first year in college, I'm about to start over…. and I know now that that's totally OK. There's nothing wrong with what's happening."_

"…. How can you say that there's nothing _wrong?_ We won't be together!"

 _"I know it's scary, but we're **both** gonna be fine. I promise."_

"No," he said. "No. You can't promise something like that."

 _"Come on," she said. "Don't do this."_

"Well what the fuck did you think I was gonna do?!" he shouted, and a few students walking by turned to look at him. "My girlfriend–who I love more than anything–is breaking up with me." He blew out a breath of air, and it faded past his lips.

 _"...I love you too," she said. "This has nothing to do with love."_

He shook his head, and was brought back to when he told her something similar near Thanksgiving. _I can't believe it's coming back to bite me in the ass,_ he thought to himself. "So then that should be enough."

 _"I already told you. It's not."_

"What is, then!" The cold was starting to seep through his jacket, and it made him hunch over and his teeth start to chatter violently.

 _"Trust, for one!"_

He could tell that she was starting to lose her patience. "Oh, I get it: you don't trust me anymore."

 _"…You need to understand something. It's hard to trust you now ever since you put us on a break. That's just what it is."_

He swallowed, and his knees began to shake. "So that's it? 'It is what it is?'"

 _"You can be mad at me, but yes."_

"You're being so callous right now. You don't sound like the girl I fell in love with–at all."

 _"That's really not fair. Why should me protecting myself warrant justification to you of all people?!"_

"What the hell does that mean?"

 _"Ugh. You know what? I'm gonna hang up. This is spiraling out of control, and it's gonna get ugly."_

He laughed humorlessly. "Well, didn't you say this was a break up?"

 _"...Wow. Bye, Adrian."_

-x-x-x- **EGS-** x-x-x-

His voice got cut off and disappeared, and the line went out. I was met with a harrowing silence, and I was determined to fill it before the dust truly settled. I turned on my music and decided to lie down on my bed, stared up the ceiling and let the lyrics soak into my very being.

That particular state didn't last long, as my phone began chiming in a FaceTime call from Jamie. I considered ignoring it, but decided that I had actually not had a chance to speak with my cousin in quite a while, so I answered the call. "Hey. You got a haircut!"

"I did," Jamie answered, as he sat in the bedroom of the apartment he was staying in that was owned by UNC-Chapel Hill. "What do ya think?"

"Very nice. What's new with you?"

Jamie went on to tell me everything that was going on with him: school and his classes, his adventures with Bridget, and the times he got to catch up with my dad on the days he went up to the university. "What's up with you? You seem kinda down."

I took a breath and told Jamie what had just happened with Adrian. "...So yeah." Jamie had stayed quiet and listened as he sat up on his couch. He gazed over my teary eyes.

"Ella…I'm really proud of you."

"…You are?"

"I am," my cousin said, wearing a half smile. "You deserve so much better than someone who's gonna call a break when things get tough; someone who sends you mixed signals. I think this is for the best."

A few tears fell down my face, and I wiped them away. "…Yeah."

"You did the right thing, Fruitcake. Everything's gonna be fine."

I was sure to mention bits of my FaceTime session with Jamie at Uncle Nathan's and Aunt Haley's place, where we were having dinner that evening. Aunt Brooke and her crew were invited as well/ We were gathered around the dining room table, sharing memories and laughter, as per usual.

"So Ella, what's going on with you, babe?" Aunt Brooke asked, as she took a sip of her wine. "You're kinda quiet."

"Not much," I said, fumbled around with my food. "School is good, volunteering has been good."

"Uh huh," Aunt Brooke nodded, gave me a sly glance.

"Well actually, I broke up with Adrian two hours ago, so there's that." _I'm not entirely sure what possessed me to speak th_ _ose_ _words out loud._ I set down my cutlery and faced my family's stunned faces.

My cousins Andrew and Jude were the first to break the sad silence. "You did?!"

"How come?" Natalie asked.

"Why would you do that?!" Mattie wailed from his seat, an outburst that was fairly unexpected from someone who was so shy as of late. Though it didn't take much for me to figure it out. He grew to look up to Adrian, especially since Jamie was gone at school all the time.

"Honey," Aunt Haley said, calm and matronly as always. "Calm down."

"Mom, never in the history of calming down has anyone ever calmed down by being told to calm down!" Mattie slammed down his fork and knife. He stared straight at me and demanded, "So he's not gonna come around anymore?"

I sighed, sent a pleading look to my mother across the table. She said nothing, but sent me an encouraging glance that said, _you can handle this._ I swallowed. "No; probably not."

"Great!"

"Hey," Uncle Nathan spoke over the table. "Matthew. Take a pause."

Mattie pushed back from the table in a harsh way. "Not hungry anymore." He left and trudged upstairs to his room.

I shook my head, and I met my mother's gaze. "Can I talk to you privately for a second, please?"

"Sure," Mom said, and together we went into the empty kitchen.

"Way to help me out back there," I said. My hand was planted on the granite counter, the other on my left hip.

"Ella, you handled it very well," Mom replied. "You didn't need me."

I heaved a sigh, shook my head. I pointed towards the dining room. "Since _when_ do I owe any kind of goddamn explanation to my _cousin_ about what goes on in _my_ relationship? My cousin who's just 13 years old, might I add. So infuriating!"

"Shh," Mom said. "I agree with you."

"...You do?"

"Yes. You're right. You don't owe Mattie, or anyone, any kind of explanation or justification for what happened. His outburst was uncalled for."

"Seriously. What is with him?" I leaned in close and whispered, "...Puberty?"

I could tell Mom tried not to laugh, but the urge went away when she asked, "Are you OK?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Of course not."

Mom enveloped me in her arms for a hug, where I smelled her perfume. "I know it must hurt like hell now, but….I'm proud of you, baby."

"Thanks; I guess. Jamie said that, too. I miss that fool."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

When the call ended, Adrian was fuming. Adrenaline rushed through his veins, and he needed to get up and _move_. Also–it was cold as holy fuck. He stood up from the bench and continued towards his dormitory. At the next garbage can, he tossed his half finished hot cocoa. Once he entered his dormitory, he was blanketed in heat, but it was too late–every part of his body was already frozen. Thankfully nobody was in the hallway as he stalked past...he was in no mood to talk. When he stuck his key in the lock of his door, he prayed that Tyler wouldn't be there. By the grace of whoever, the room was empty. He shed his jacket and tore off his flannel long sleeve shirt to change into a gray hoodie and sweatpants, hoped that all the movement would somehow calm him down. It didn't. He wrenched open his mini fridge and yanked out a beer that was a twist top, unscrewed it and took a long gulp. When there was a knock on his door, he cursed to himself, but answered it anyway.

Rudy stood on the other side. "Sup, dude. I ordered the pizza; it's on its way. Half extra cheese half olive OK with you?"

"…What?"

Rudy blinked. "...The pizza. We're ordering in and watching movies, remember?"

"Oh. Whatever." Adrian turned and took another gulp of his beer, leaving the door open–a sign his friend could enter. He did, and shut the door behind him.

"…You good?"

He turned and flopped onto his bed. "Is Margie coming?"

"Yeah," Rudy answered, slowly. "Of course. What–"

"…Good."

Rudy frowned, and sank into Adrian's desk chair. "Dude. Are you OK? You're acting all..."

"All what?" His tone was even, his amber eyes dull and flat.

"Cryptic," Rudy said.

The beer on his tongue tasted hoppy. He forced it down his throat, and then he breathed out, "She broke up with me."

"Who?" Rudy asked, without thinking.

"Who the fuck do you think?!"

He held out his hands in surrender. "Dude…I'm _really_ sorry. When?"

Adrian stared at the alarm clock resting by the window behind his bed. It read 6:15pm. "Like 45 minutes ago."

"Damn," Rudy said. "What happened?"

He glared at him. "Do I really look like I want to talk about it?" He took another swig of his beer. "Make sure Margie comes."

"I told you already; she's coming." Rudy narrowed his eyes in suspicion. "...Why the sudden obsession with whether or not she joins us?"

"What are you talking about?"

"...You wanna fuck her!"

He finished the rest of his beer and placed it atop the fridge. He stared his friend down icily. "…So?"

Momentarily stunned, he said, "Jesus. I was…I was just joking! I was kinda hoping you'd laugh."

Adrian swallowed, and asked, completely serious, "You see me laughing?"

Rudy held out his hands, stood up to be at Adrian's level. He'd never before seen him like this, and it was scary as hell. "Adrian. You can't…you can't have sex with her." He watched as his friend grabbed another beer from the fridge and opened it.

"Why not?" he demanded. "You're always joking about how I should sleep with her."

"Yeah, but dude, I'm an asshole! You're _not._ Think about this for a second. _Margie likes you._ Like, _really_ likes you."

"I know. What's your point?"

Rudy looked bewildered. "Dude, Ella broke up with you _less than an hour ago._ If you get with Margie, it'd be a rebound fuck. You know it and I know it. ...She'll feel used and end up crushed."

It was then that Adrian started laughing. "What the _hell?_ Since when are you a damn moral compass?! Are you, _you,_ _seriously_ trying to talk me out of banging a hot girl?"

"A hot girl, sure–and….yeah, Margie's hot, alright? But she's also our _friend._ She's your friend, and she's my friend. I think this would really hurt her." He shook his head in disbelief. It was obvious Adrian was already buzzed from downing the two beers, since he had drank them–fast–on an empty stomach. "I don't like you like this." Right then, his phone started ringing. He glanced at the screen and said, "It's the pizza guy. Hello?….yeah, yeah I'll be down in a second. Thanks." He held out his hand. "Hang on."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

 _Pizza's here. Come downstairs to help me, please?_

Rudy sent the text quickly, after picking up the pizza and tipping the deliveryman. He held the steaming pizza boxes in his hand, and went inside since it was way, way too cold out. Thankfully, Margie always had a quick response time and was good about texting back, and she was on her way.

"Hey!" she greeted, lightly and cheerfully. "...You don't look like you really need help with those."

"Of course I don't." He set the boxes down on the steps by their feet for the moment. "Look, just forget about the pizza for a second, OK?"

"Alright," she said. "Jeez, what's with you?"

Rudy exhaled. "Adrian's in bad shape."

"What's wrong with him?"

"...He and Ella broke up. She dumped him."

Something changed in Margie's brown eyes, and she breathed,"….Oh…. when?"

"Like an hour ago."

She nodded, swallowed, unsure of what to do or say. "Um..."

Rudy shut his eyes, then opened them again. _Fuck it._ "I just...look, I thought you should know…he wants to sleep with you."

"What?" Margie stared at him, paired with a nervous chuckle. "...He said that?"

"No, not explicitly."

"OK, so how do you know then? How can you tell?"

Rudy held out his hands. He could tell she was getting riled up, and people would be able to hear them. "Shh. I just _do_ , OK?"

Margie cut him off. "Whatever; it doesn't matter–"

"I wanted to warn you–"

Margie paused, and then Rudy knew he used the wrong words. _Shit. "Warn me?_ What the fuck does that mean?" She put her hand on her hip. "What, you don't think I can take care of myself? You think our _friend_ Adrian is some sort of predator?!"

"No–"

"Rudy. You're not a fucking hero, OK? I don't need to be protected. You think because I'm a girl I need to be kept safe like I can't defend myself? What the fuck is that?"

" _No._ No! Look. I don't want him to take _advantage_ of you, Margie. He isn't thinking straight. Anyway, why the hell are you even mad at me for watching out for you?! You should be mad at _him!_ Adrian's the one who's trying to blatantly use you." Rudy watched Margie's expression change. "...Unless you're OK with it…."

"I didn't say that," she said, this time her fire had died down a little.

He put both hands on her shoulders. "...Margie…trust me. It would _Just._ _Be_. _Sex._ Nothing more. You can yell at me and curse at me and insult me, but we _both_ know that you want _more_ with him." She had never before seen Rudy so serious. "Go ahead; tell me I'm wrong."

Her lips began to tremble.

His face fell when he noticed her tears. "Aw, no….Adrian's just acting like a dick right now; he's reacting from the break up, and thinking about the simplest, most convenient way to hurt Ella."

"...About what I said–"

Rudy picked up the two pizza boxes. "Don't sweat it. You still down to hangout?"

"Yeah," she said. "Sure." She patted him on the back. "Here, I'll take one." She took a pizza box into her grasp, and the two headed to the third floor common room.

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

When I made it back into the dining room at my uncle's house, I could tell they had changed the subject to something else–and I went along with it. I noticed Aunt Haley had gone upstairs to check on Mattie, and I was glad–I sure as hell wasn't gonna do it.

Everyone had dispersed from the dining room and were now in the parlor, just chatting. I took a seat on the couch next to my father. "Dad," I said, when I saw that everyone else was pulled into conversation and therefore wouldn't pay much mind to ours. "Can I talk to you for a sec?"

"Sure," he turned to me, put down his drink on a coaster. He followed me into the other room. "What's up?"

I cleared my throat and leaned on my crutches for balance. "Did you confront Sheff about what happened on Grandpa's boat?

He sighed, scratched the back of his neck in an old habit. "Yes, I did."

"Why?" I asked, my voice strained. "I told you that in confidence."

Dad remained calm, but that was no shocker. He shoved his hands in his pockets. "I confronted him because it's against policy to engage in risky behavior while on the Ravens. Underage day drinking on someone else's property, with _my_ daughter–who has CP and whose alcohol consumption could've really impaired her judgment, balance, and coordination among other things while near a large body of water–is _absolutely unacceptable._ Sheff knows better."

"But _why_ does the fact that I have CP even matter?!"

Dad's face fell, and I saw a hint of sadness in his brilliant blue eyes. "Ella," he said, in his most gentle voice. "You _know_ it matters, sweetheart."

"OK, fine," I said. "Whatever. I still told you that in private. That was between _us_! And the thing with Sheff was like, two fucking months ago!"

"Hey! Watch your mouth! I don't care if it was two months ago or two days ago; it still happened. As far as Sheff is concerned, he's lucky I'm not taking further action and benching him, or even alerting Principal Curtis."

I gaped at him. "Dad, _please don't._ Why're you threatening me?"

"I'm not threatening _you_ , Ella…." He let out a sigh. "Your mother and I grounded you, remember? You were punished for this already, but Sheff wasn't. I don't think that's fair at all. I'm telling you, he's lucky. If he can't handle a scolding and is using you as a scapegoat, then he needs to seriously buck up…..he's mad at you, isn't he?"

"Of course he is!"

"Let him be mad! He knows better; if there was any possibility he could've gotten in trouble for doing what he did, he shouldn't have done it."

"That's exactly what I told him."

"What did he say?''

I rolled my eyes and shuffled my feet. "…He told me I was being preachy, basically."

He scoffed. "You see what I mean? He's blaming you for his part of the mistake. I hope you gave it to him."

I couldn't help but laugh a little. "I said 'screw you,' and 'stay away from me.'"

Dad nodded in approval, and he walked over and opened his arms for a hug. "That's my girl."

"I guess." I pulled away from my father's embrace to look up at him. "It just sucks to feel like I'm losing my friend."

He nodded. "Well, maybe some space is what you both need right now. It happens."

"...Daddy!"

Mom was holding onto Riley's hand to make sure he didn't fall with how fast he was running to seek out his father.

Dad stooped to his haunches and held out his arms so Riley could run into them. "Hey, buddy!" he picked up his son and squeezed him tight. "You having fun?"

"Ya!" I grinned in Riley's direction over Dad's shoulder, and he laughed–more so when Dad began to tickle him.

"Everything OK?" Mom's voice was hushed, and I knew I wasn't meant to hear that part.

"Everything's fine," he answered, turned to me. "Right?"

"Right." I walked alongside my parents and brother back to the rest of the family.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

As the evening stretched on and a scary movie played out on the common room's tv screen, Adrian was getting progressively more annoyed with Rudy. Margie excusing herself to use the restroom was his perfect opportunity to bring it up, now that he and his friend were alone.

"Dude, what the hell?"

"What?" Rudy defended.

"What do you mean, 'what?' You're forcing me to eat, you're sitting on top of me–what did you think, that I was gonna screw her with you sitting here?"

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Don't play stupid, man. You gave me a whole fucking speech about how I shouldn't have sex with her, and now you're acting like her guardian or something."

"What?"

"You know what I mean. You don't wanna even step away from us, because if you do, you know something... will happen."

Rudy shook his head, and began counting off on his fingers. "One, I made you eat pizza so you don't get fucking _shit faced_ drinking alcohol on an empty stomach, and two, …you're awfully aware when you're drunk."

"I'm not drunk!"

Rudy let out a humorless laugh. "Yes you are!"

Adrian pointed at him. "You cant...can't stop me from doing what I want. I'm not a child. So you can go."

"I'm not going. I wanna watch the movie." Rudy crossed his arms across his chest.

"Bullshit," Adrian sneered.

Margie walked back into the room. "I'm back," she said. "Hit play!"

"Rudolph was just leaving," Adrian said.

Margie laughed a bit. "Rudolph?"

"Ignore him," Rudy said. He hit play and the movie continued.

Margie tapped him on the shoulder. "Can I show you something in the hall?"

"…Sure." He looked over his shoulder to see Adrian sprawled on the couch, his head lolling back. He began to laugh nonsensically at the movie that was playing. Rudy rolled his eyes and followed Margie into the hall. "Subtle."

"Whatever. Think he can tell the difference?" She crossed her arms. "You're staying because you're afraid of what will happen if you leave, aren't you?"

"Uh, Yeah!"

"Rudy. I can handle this, OK? You don't have to stay–I can tell the two of you might end up punching each other."

"Margie–"

"Look," she sighed. "I heard what you said before. Honest. Besides," her voice softened, "I deserve better, right?"

Rudy seemed to deflate. He shoved his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants, and he nodded.

"...We probably should get him back to his room."

"Agreed."

The two of them managed to coax Adrian out of the common area, and brought him–one arm over Margie's shoulder, the other over that of Rudy–to his dorm room. The door was unlocked and the room empty, much to their relief. They led Adrian to his bed, where he plopped down. "Rudy," he said, his words muffled. "Now that we're in my room, I can ask you to go."

Rudy shared a glance with Margie. _I got it,_ she mouthed.

"Sleep it off, brother." He patted Adrian on the shoulder, and then left the two of them alone–the only light coming from the lamp on the desk.

"Let's take off your shoes," she said, and she bent down to remove them for him, and then sat next to him on the bed. She felt his eyes on her, and her cheeks flushed.

"Thank you," Adrian said. His eyes were dreamy and almost sleepy. "...You're pretty."

"I know." Margie smirked at him, and didn't have time to say much else, because he leaned in to kiss her, all brazen and sloppy. His lips tasted like beer, his tongue tried to slip into her mouth. She pressed her hand into his shoulder, and pushed him lightly back. "Adrian. I don't think so."

"Why?"

She sighed, and she couldn't explain why she felt like crying. "Because you're drunk. Because you're hurting. Because I deserve better, and because–because you love her."

"...Whatever. Fuck that bitch."

"Stop it. You don't mean that; I _know_ you don't." She eased him to lay down on his stomach over the covers. She couldn't help but run a hand through his thick locks. A few minutes passed.

"Margie?"

"Yeah?" She saw sadness enter his gaze as he opened his eyes.

"… _What am I gonna do_?"

She felt the weight of his question press down on her chest, and for a moment it was hard to breathe. "...Well. For now, you're going to go to sleep–and deal with the rest in the morning." She swallowed the lump in her throat. "OK?"

"OK." As she watched over him, his breathing got deep, and he began to lightly snore. She stood up, turned off his lamp, made her way carefully to the door, and left Adrian alone.

Margie entered her room quietly, exhaled and lay down on her bed, crawled under the covers. Her phone buzzed in a text from Rudy:

 _Everything ok?_

 _It was fine. I just put him to sleep. I'm pretty tired; probably just gonna crash. Talk tomorrow._

She turned off her phone before her friend could reply, curled to her side, and tried to fall asleep.

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

 _Monday, March_ _25th_ _, 2030 3:45pm_

Today certain things went on as per usual: my half day at school, my hours volunteering at the hospital and thus seeing Finn...but, other things were new, scary and exciting–because this wasn't just any ordinary Monday. This was actually the Monday I heard about my admissions decision for Brown University.

I couldn't log onto the portal to find out until about 5pm this evening, and the waiting was absolutely driving me nuts. Volunteering helped a bit, though, but it ended early today. Finn invited me up to the cafe for some coffee, and I gladly accepted. We'd been texting back and forth a bit since Friday, so it didn't seem out of the norm to do so.

He sat down at the table we picked out by the large windows that boasted rather spectacular views of Tree Hill, and passed me my medium iced coffee with room for milk. "Thanks. What do I owe you?"

"Nothing," Finn said with a chuckle. "Don't worry about it."

"Oh come on," I protested.

"Ella, it's nothing. Seriously."

I sighed, stuck my straw into the cover and heard it _pop,_ took a sip, watched him do the same. "What did you think about today?" Today we shadowed a physician's assistant in the clinic.

"I enjoyed it," he answered, then smirked. "Since making tote gift bags isn't _really_ my thing."

"Yeah OK." I smiled. "You were getting so into it on Friday."

"I _was not…_ OK fine, maybe I was."

I shook my head at him. "So, question."

"Answer," he joked, deadpan. "Go ahead."

"Well you said you're doing hours for school, right? Did you get _placed_ at this hospital, or did you _choose_ it? And if you chose it, why?"

"I chose it." Finn took a long sip of his own iced coffee. "I was thinking I could major in psychology in college and become a social worker–work in a hospital eventually. This is to get just a little taste of what it might be like."

"Nice," I said.

"How about you?"

I swallowed my sip of coffee. "I chose the hospital also. I wanted to try something different–everybody assumed I would do something along the lines of writing or editing or publishing–guess I wanted to surprise them."

Finn raised his brows. "So you're doing this for other people?"

"No," I amended. I rested my elbows on the table. "With the CP and everything, I've been a patient–and a part of the medical system as a whole–my entire life. I was a premie baby, in the NICU for about three months after I was born. I just had my fourth orthopedic surgery this past August. I suppose I'm satisfying my desire to see things from 'the other side.' From the provider's perspective. You know?"

"Definitely. So this is kinda like your way of giving back; right?"

"In a way." I brushed my hair behind my ears and took another sip of coffee.

Finn nodded, and smiled. "I think that's really awesome."

"Thanks," I replied. "You mentioned wanting to study psychology in college–where did you apply? Or maybe I should ask, 'Where do you wanna go?' at this point."

"My first choice is Wake Forest," he counted off on his fingers. "Second choice is Boston University. I applied to a bunch of other places but those are at the top. You?"

"My first choice is Brown," I said. "Actually...I find out about Brown today."

His eyebrows shot up. "Oh, shit! You excited?"

"So nervous. I get jittery when I'm nervous...maybe this coffee was a bad idea."

Finn laughed. "Yeah, I can kinda feel your knees shaking."

"Really?"

"No," he said, smirked at me. "What time do you find out?"

"In theory, 5pm, if the servers don't crash."

He checked his wristwatch. "That's soon." He looked at me and said, "Don't be nervous."

"Easy for you to say!"

Finn held out his hands in surrender. "You're gonna let me know what happens, right?!"

"Sure."

"Well! You can't just leave me hanging. Just text me like tomorrow or something. Deal?"

"Alright, alright," I said, and I couldn't hide the smile on my face. "Deal."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

When I got home at about 4:20, I had a snack and something to drink, and tried not to think about Brown, college, or my future. Of course, that didn't work for shit. It was _all_ I thought about–but I kept that to myself, and headed to my room to change into comfy clothes, put on Netflix to keep me sort of sane.

At around 4:55pm, I was on my laptop and staring at the computer screen, getting ready to hit that _log in_ button. Those five minutes had never passed so slowly. I was so in the zone that somebody knocking on my door made me jump. "Jesus! Yeah?" I called.

"It's Dad," came my father's voice. He opened the door and poked his head in. "Any word yet?!"

"No."

He walked in, carrying Riley in his arms. He sat on my bed. "Do–"

"Dad, Thanks for wanting to be there for me, but I think–" I took a deep breath. "I think I need to do this alone."

"Oh," Dad said, as he ran a hand up Riley's back. "You got it," he said. "C'mon, Ri! We'll catch up with your sister later!" He turned around and called my name. "You know I love you no matter what happens, OK?"

I smiled wanly at him. "I love you too, Dad."

The door shut behind him and he was gone, and it was exactly 5pm. I was right; when I hit the _log in_ button, the server did crash. It wasn't until about 5:20pm that I was able to log into the portal.

 _Brown University_

 _view decision letter_

With shaky hands and a racing heart, I moved my cursor over the link, and clicked it.

 _Dear Ms. Scott…_

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Lucas had decided he was gonna go crazy if he stood in the hallway outside Ella's bedroom door, so he was in his sons' bedroom, sitting on the floor playing with Riley's building blocks. Roslyn had just left. Larry was in his bedroom watching TV, oblivious to the tension. Lucas checked his wristwatch. 5:15pm; _Peyton should be home any minute,_ he thought to himself. Sure enough, he heard the distinct _clack_ of her heels as she ascended the staircase with Miles. "Hello! I'm home!"

"In here!"

"Mama!" Riley squealed, and began to clap and wriggle back and forth. Lucas laughed in earnest at his boy's enthusiasm. He stood up easily from the floor, and brought Riley with him.

Peyton appeared in the doorway, still carrying Miles in his carrier. "My boys," she said, her voice covered in warmth. She planted a kiss on her eldest son's head, temple, and cheek, and then kissed her husband on the mouth. Then she gasped. "Oh my God," she covered her lips with her palm. _She remembered._ "Any word?! Where's Ella!"

"In her room."

"Alone?! This is a big night!"

"I tried to be in there with her, but she told me she wanted to be alone. We have to give her space."

Peyton hung her head back. "Let me just settle in. Be back." When she returned carrying Miles in comfy clothes, she added, "I can't _believe_ you just left her in there."

"I was respecting her wishes!"

"Well what are we meant to do? Just wait?"

He smirked, brushed his thumb against his wife's cheek. "That's _exactly_ what we're gonna do. Come on, let's start dinner. Riley, are you hungry, buddy?"

"YA! Food!"

As the pair stood in the kitchen, Miles in the playpen nearby, Larry sitting at the kitchen table with a glass of seltzer water, Riley in his feeding chair having cut up banana, the minutes ticked on by.

"Peyton." Lucas shook his head as he cut up an onion.

"What?"

"You keep looking at the clock, babe."

"Well! Luke, it's 5:40 already. What time was she supposed to find out?"

"5, but for all we know the server kept crashing because of all the other kids trying to find out, so she could have _just_ found out; know what I mean? Let's just...take it easy and give her a minute."

Peyton huffed a breath of air. "Fine, but aren't you the _least_ bit curious?"

"Of course. I have my fingers crossed twice over, but–"

The sound of Ella's footsteps descending the staircase quietened them both. "Shh!"

"Is Ella still in her room?"

"Dad, please be quiet for a second," Peyton said. Both her and Lucas turned towards the open archway, where their only daughter soon appeared.

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

I descended the staircase slowly, and made my way with one hand planted on the wall towards the kitchen. The sound system was on low, my parents were laughing about something or other, Miles was babbling, Grandpa having something to drink, Riley eating.

"Hey."

"Hi baby," Mom said, and I could see an undeniable hope in her eyes. In just a moment, she voiced what I knew almost everyone was thinking. "...So?"

I scratched the side of my temple. "Um..." I met my parents' gaze. "...I didn't get in."

It was like all the air got vacuumed out of the entire room. Dad set the knife down on the counter, Grandpa stared at me. Mom made the first moves towards me. "Oh, honey..."

I accepted her embrace, though my end was stiff and wooden. She kissed my forehead.

"I'm sorry," she said, and I knew she meant it–I did.

"...It's OK," I finally replied, and even I didn't expect my words to come out so pasty. The lump in my throat was huge.

Dad appeared beside my mother. "I know it must hurt, sweetie, but there will be other schools...everything's going to turn out alright." He kissed the side of my head. "You'll see."

I nodded. "Yeah."

"Don't cry," Mom pouted.

"Why's she crying?" Grandpa asked, and I shook my head.

"Shh!" My parents hissed, and I chuckled a bit. It was rare to see my father get mad at Grandpa Larry.

"There's a smile," Dad said, as his hand ran up my back, and leaned in to whisper, "I love you no matter what; remember?"

I leaned into my father's side. "…It's fine," I said, though it was honestly more for their sake then it was mine. "Wasn't meant to be. Right?"

"Exactly," Mom said. "Exactly right." Both my parents–and even Grandpa–moved to give me a crushing hug.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Adrian was trying to get some studying done in the student center when he saw Margie that early evening. "Margie," he called, and she turned.

"Hey," she said, after bidding goodbye to her other two friends. She held a Vitamin Water in her hand.

"Didn't see you around this past weekend."

"...Been studying."

He swallowed. "Can you–can you sit down a sec?"

She slunk into the other side of the booth across from him, and placed her bottle down on the space in front of her. "What's up?"

"Margie..." he sighed. "I am _so_ sorry, OK?"

"So you remember."

He cringed, and said, "...Enough." Shaking his head, he added, "I know Rudy must've told you _something._ I don't–I don't know what I was thinking. I _wasn't_ thinking. At all. I was just.. _reacting_. It _absolutely_ wasn't fair to you...and I'm _really_ fucking embarrassed. Really."

She raised her brows and nodded. "OK."

"I'm sorry," he said again. "...Can you forgive me?"

Margie took a moment, and it made him real nervous. "Listen. I'm NOT the girl that you can just _screw_ to get back at your girlfriend," she whispered. "I'm worth more than that." She brushed a stray strand of hair behind her ears. She watched her friend, who pleaded to her in the middle of the night about the girl he loved. If Margie had any weaknesses, it was love. "…But I forgive you."

Adrian exhaled. "Yeah?"

"Besides. You better BELIEVE you'd at least be buying us dinner first before getting _anywhere_ near me." She smiled, and he knew he was in somewhat clear air.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-


	18. Slide

**Here's a treat. Story is still on hiatus, though, unfortunately. Let me know what you think, and who knows maybe the next chapter will be up sooner.**

 _Chapter Seventeen_

Slide

 _Thursday, March 28th, 2030 8pm_

I was doing homework at my desk that night when my phone started buzzing. I glanced at it quickly, thinking it might be my mom or dad or Isa or Jamie. I certainly wasn't expecting Finn's name to cross the screen. My stomach doubled, but I ignored that and answered, "Hey, what's up?"

 _"Hey! Not much; I thought I'd call. I'm not too good with the whole messaging back and forth thing," he chuckled. "I wanted to tell you, though: no dice on Wake Forest."_

"Fuck. I'm so sorry! When did you find out?"

 _"It's fine. I found out a couple hours ago. Know what we should do?"_

 _"_ What's that?"

" _We should just go out and lament together. You know, just flip off Brown and Wake Forest for saying no to us–over a beer or whatever, of course."_

I smirked when I asked him, "Is this your way of asking me out for a drink?"

 _"Definitely. You down?"_

"Let's do it."

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

 _Friday, March 29th, 2030 7pm_

I thought it would be too weird if Finn picked me up at the house. It would raise too many questions. So, I arranged for us to meet us at The Blue Post, and I asked for Isa to give me a lift there. When I made my way carefully down the stairs with word that Isa was five minutes away, I ran into Mom. She looked at me, raised a brow in my direction. "What?"

"Where are you going again?"

"I told you; out with Isa. Why are you looking at me like that?" _._

Mom gave me one of her famous looks, and then covered it up with a shrug. "No reason. Have fun–don't get home too late."

A car horn signaled Isa's arrival. "I won't. Bye!"

I climbed into the passenger seat of Isa's car and greeted her, clipped on my seat belt. "Thanks so much for doing this," I said. "I know, I know–I need to learn to drive already."

"I didn't say anything," she chuckled. She put the car into drive. "What's this guy's name again?"

"Finn. We met at the hospital; we're both volunteers. It's just a drink."

Isa smirked. "Right."

"What?" I laughed a bit. "Seriously. One drink. A soda."

"Didn't say anything."

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

Equipped with the fake ID Jamie got for me, I made my way into The Blue Post, where my parents frequented once upon a time; Aunt Brooke, too. I carefully passed the semi-drunk folk, on the lookout for where Finn grabbed a table. Eventually I found him sitting at a high table near the back, where he stood up and waved. He wore a white button down and jeans. "Hey!"

"Hi!"

"You look great!" He leaned in for a hug, and I smelled the scent of his cologne that clung to the side of his neck. "Is this table OK? It's not as loud in the back here."

I eyed the table, and it was indeed a high one. "Actually, it might be hard for me to sit on this without help."

"I can help you," he offered. "Just tell me what I have to do."

"Um...here, just take my hand." My wrist dangled with the bracelets I put on earlier. With my other hand, I held onto the chair, positioned my right foot, and pushed up. Finn's other hand brushed my lower back lightly. He watched me until I was safely seated.

"Good?"

I nodded.

"I wasn't sure what you wanted to drink. What are ya thinking?"

"Beer," was all I said, and he laughed.

"Alright then." Finn waved over a waitress to order our drinks. Soon he raised his pint for a toast. "So. _Fuck_ Brown, and _fuck_ Wake Forest!"

"Good enough for me," I said, and our glasses clinked. We took long sips, the beer crisp, cold, and refreshing.

"I mean, seriously. What the fuck do they know?"

"That's an excellent point."

We talked for a bit, mostly about music, and when the conversation hit a lull, he suggested, "I saw they have pinball machines. You wanna play?"

"…They do?"

Finn chuckled, motioned behind my shoulder with a jut of his chin. "Yeah; right over there."

I turned and sure enough, two pinball machines sat unoccupied in the far right corner. "How have I never noticed those before? Let's do it."

Luckily I had a few coins in my purse, and flashing bright lights signaled the game's start. "OK, just so you know, I suck at this."

Finn was standing behind me, and the subtle scent of cologne returned. He was so close his cleft chin could rest on my shoulder. "...Yeah, you do."

"Hey!" I laughed. "I'm trying!"

"Relax your wrist and keep your eye on the pinball." He took a sip of his beer whilst his other hand held onto my drink for me. "There ya go!"

"So much pressure," I joked. I lost focus for a second and the pinball whizzed past. "Aw man!"

` Finn sucked his teeth in a sympathetic sort of sound. "So close. Now move over and let me try." He put the beers on the empty table next to the machines where we could watch them, and took a stance in front of the machine to play.

"Whatever. You just wanna show off." I stuck my tongue out at him.

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about that; I show off in other ways."

I rolled my eyes, glad it was dark enough in the bar to hide my blush, and we continued playing and chatting.

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

 _Saturday, March 30_ _th_ _, 2030 7:15pm_

Lucas adjusted the very top button on his button down collared shirt. "Peyton!" He called, his hand on the bottom of the stairwell railing. "We're gonna be late!"

"Coming!"

Tonight was Frank and Miranda's surprise engagement party. First, the editor had asked Miranda to move in with him, and she said yes. Then, he'd finally gotten himself together and bought what he hoped was the perfect engagement ring, only to get down on one knee last night. A rather enthusiastic text with the words, _SHE SAID YES!_ was sent to Lucas's cell phone about a few minutes before 11pm, with nothing else.

It was Miranda's sister's idea to throw the party, who Frank had flown in from London especially for this occasion. It was to take place at a lovely restaurant by the River Walk, overlooking the water.

Peyton's heels hit the stairs in a rhythm as she descended. Her hair was slightly curled, and she wore a blue dress that clung to her body in all the right places. The scent of her favorite perfume followed her swaying hips, and by the time she arrived at the foot of the stairs, she chuckled at her husband's dazed expression.

"Is that dress new?" he asked her, his eyes trailing down her body.

"No!" She laughed. "You've seen me in this before."

"Hm." Lucas slid his hand around his wife's waist, pressed it against her lower back. "….You're really hot," he said, his voice sending shivers down her neck.

"Someone's excited that we get to have a night out."

The party was for adults only, so the boys, Ella, and Larry were left with Karen and Andy for the night. Peyton felt a little weird about leaving _everyone_ with her mother-in-law all at once, but Karen insisted it was no trouble. She'd admitted that the house was feeling particularly empty since Lily was now living in New York City.

"Hell yes I am," he countered, grabbing her left hand and kissing the top of it. "Aren't you?"

"Like you wouldn't believe," she said, and winked at him. She tugged at his hand, still linked to hers. "Come on."

"Hey," he said, and she stopped and turned back to him, arms back around his waist. "Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if we _were_ a little late, huh?"

She just shook her head at him, kissed him when he leaned in first, and nibbled a bit on his bottom lip. "We'll miss the surprise. I think you're forgetting nobody will be here when we get back."

Lucas exhaled, "Perfect."

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

 _8:45pm_

I will admit, it's been a while since I spent the night at my grandma's house. She made dinner for all of us, and then it was Andy's idea to watch a movie after the boys were put to bed. As we were all set up to watch an oldie, one of Andy's favorites, my phone began to buzz in a call from Finn. Quickly, I hit the silent button and let the call go to voicemail. My grandfather looked over at me, already suspecting something.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing." I hid behind my phone to avoid answering more questions, and sent Finn a text.

 _Hey, I can't talk on the phone; with family right now, but I can text. What's up?_

He said, _I was gonna see if you wanted to hangout! But if you're with family, we can another time_ _!_

 _What did you have in mind?_

I made my way to the kitchen to find my grandmother scooping butter pecan ice cream into bowls for us. "Hey, Grandma?"

She turned to me. "Hm? What's up, kiddo?"

"My friend wanted to hangout and go to a late movie. Is it OK if I go?"

"Which friend?"

My breath caught in my throat for a second, but I knew it would be better to just tell the truth than lie to her. "His...his name is Finn."

"Friend from school?"

"No; he goes to Oak Lake. We both volunteer at the hospital in Pediatrics."

"Is he a nice boy?"

"He is."

"What time does the movie start? I'd like you home by one."

"It starts at 9:30, so I'd have to leave like, now. He offered to pick me up. I can be home by one." I reached to hug her. "Thanks, Grandma." I moved fast, and quickly shoved my phone and keys in my purse after changing out of my sweats and fixing my hair. Grandpa Larry kept his watchful eyes on me once I was back in the living room. "…What?"

"Where are you going at this hour?"

"Out," I said. "To see a movie."

"But we're watching a movie here."

"Yeah well, I was invited out, so." I slipped my crutches onto my wrists.

"By who?"

"A friend." A car horn pierced the air outside. Finn had arrived. "Bye!" I was out the door before I heard my grandpa utter another word.

Outside was a bit chilly, and Finn was already holding open the passenger side door open for me by the time I made it to the car. "Hi!"

"Hey," he said back, his voice tinged with a bit of laughter. "Nice jacket."

I looked down at the black leather jacket that once belonged to Ellie. My mom lets me wear it occasionally, as long as I don't lose it or tear it or spill anything on it. "Thanks! It's my mom's." I jutted my chin towards Finn's own attire. He was also wearing a leather jacket, except his was a looser fit and was brown. "We match. Well, kind of."

"Ha. I guess you're right." He gestured to his car with a sweep of his arm. "Shall we?"

Without thinking, I placed my hand in his. His palm was soft and warm. He helped me into the car and put my crutches in the backseat. Once he was back in the driver's side, he cranked the heat up a bit. "So I'm really excited to see this movie. Did you get a chance to watch the trailer?"

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

The look on both Miranda and Frank's faces when they walked in to a room full of their closest friends and family yelling _congratulations_ was just priceless, and Lucas and Peyton were both grateful to have made it in time. Eventually, after great tunes began to play, and people began to drink and eat and mingle, Lucas and Peyton were able to track Frank down by the outside patio overlooking the water.

"So glad you both are here!" Frank said, giving Lucas a sincere hug and clapping him on the back, and a kiss on the cheek for Peyton.

"We wouldn't have missed it!" she said. "Frank; you're engaged!"

The smile he wore was an unforgettable one. "Crazy, huh?! This is honestly the best feeling ever."

"Wait till you're actually married," Lucas said. His hand grazed his wife's waist, and he put just the slightest amount of pressure there, pulled her even closer to him.

Frank's smile only grew. He'd caught Lucas's little move, and he could tell Peyton did, too. "I'll take your word for it." He soon disappeared into the crowd when he heard someone call his name, after he wished his two friends have a great time, and that they'd catch up more later.

"I see what you did there," Peyton said, as she snuck her arms around his neck and imitated him as best she could: "'Wait till you're married.'"

He smirked that damn smirk at her, his arms easing round her waist. "No clue what you're talking about...and I so do _not_ sound like that."

She laughed and muttered, "Uh huh," and leaned in to kiss his lips lightly in their little secluded corner.

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

The movie fulfilled all my expectations: it was as great as I thought it was gonna be. We got back into the car, and the temperature outside had dropped. I checked my phone for the time. It was only 11pm. "Where to now?" Since the film we saw was an indie and was pretty much only playing int the theater in his neighborhood, I was in semi-unknown territory.

Finn stuck the car key in the ignition, and the engine purred. "I was kind of thinking we could go to my place; we could hangout and listen to music for a bit. I wanna show you my collection!" I couldn't help but laugh a little, nervously. "What?"

"Nothing it's just..I don't really know you that well," I said, even though my own honesty made me cringe. "...I know that's totally lame."

Finn blew out a breath of air. "Y'know...Ella, I would never like, hurt you or anything." He looked me straight in the eye and added with a kind of quiet sincerity, "You can trust me."

My heart was pounding harshly. "OK."

We walked down the hallway of Finn's building. "My mom's out, so don't worry." He lived in a duplex on the third floor. The space was airy, bright, and awfully clean. "This is it."

"It's nice."

Finn hung up his house keys on a hook on the wall and took off his jacket, kicked off his shoes. "Have a seat anywhere you want. Can I get you something to drink? Water, a beer? I think we have Heineken."

"That'd be good."

I watched Finn grab the beer across the room in the open space. He returned, one beer in each hand. "It's in my room."

"What?"

"My music collection. It's in my room."

"Oh." _Fuck._ "OK." He motioned for me to follow him up the stairs, and I did, albeit slowly. The walls in Finn's room were painted a soothing shade of blue. One wall was covered in movie posters, and a guitar sat snugly in a stand in one corner. I took a shy seat on the edge of his bed.

Finn opened a closet I hadn't noticed was there, to reveal stacks of vinyls upon vinyls. He looked over at me from over his shoulder. "I think I know what you're thinking."

"What am I thinking?" I said back, leaned on my palm that I rested beside me. I took a sip of my beer and let the sip slide down my throat.

"It's not as big as your mom's collection, right? Be honest."

I laughed, and admitted, "No, it's not. Not even close. Nice try, though."

"Thanks," he said, his voice dripping in heavy sarcasm. He gestured to his vinyls. "What do you wanna hear?"

"Something smooth," I decided.

"You got it." Finn grabbed a vinyl from the stack, put it in his record player. It was something I hadn't heard before, but it was definitely smooth. He took a seat next to me on the bed, and shook his head in my direction. "You can take off your jacket, you know. Stay a while?"

I laughed that stupid anxious laugh again. _What was I doing?_ "Sorry." I took off my jacket to reveal the olive green sleeveless blouse I had on earlier.

Finn began to study me with those eyes of his. "You seem really nervous or something."

I sighed, and my cheeks heated up. "Sorry," I said once more. "It's–I just..." I ran a hand through my wavy hair. "OK. I am nervous. I just feel like you like me?" _Whoa. Way to go out on a limb._

He cracked a smile that was so adorable. Goddamn it. "Uh..." he said. "Yes."

I nodded. "I gotta be honest with you; I'm just getting out of a really serious three year relationship. Like, yesterday."

Finn looked amused. "Really? _Yesterday_?"

I rolled my eyes at him. "No, not literally. You know what I mean."

He began studying me again, and it was unnerving. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Did he break up with you?"

My heart began to pound once more. "No," I admitted evenly. "I broke up with him." I covered my face with my manicured hands. "Fuck...I'm confused."

I felt the bed dip under Finn's weight as he edged closer to me. His hand rested on my thigh. "About what?"

I just looked at him, swallowed. There was a lot to say about the look I gave him...it was a vulnerable one, a lustful one, a coy one...and it was all resting in the green of my eyes. When he leaned in to kiss me, he simply brushed his lips against mine, just for a second. He pulled back, waited for my next move.

I'm not so sure if it was the beer or what, but it was almost like I didn't have control of myself, and my fingers were pulling at his shirt to kiss him for real, feel the way his lips pressed up against mine. His hand was simultaneously moving up my thigh, slowly, then down again.

He pulled away and said, "You're a good kisser."

"I am?"

He laughed. "Yeah, you are." Abruptly, he got up from the bed and turned to me.

"What're you doing?"

"Hang on." He reached and picked me up into his arms to help me move onto the bed. His hand lingered next to mine, and by the time he got settled our shoulders were touching. He looked at me for a second, before he leaned in and kissed me again. This time, his embrace was more urgent, pressing. His hand reached and slid up my waist, his tongue swiped across my bottom lip. I gently pressed my palm against his chest.

"Wait," I said. "Hold on."

"What?" he replied, in the same exact tone, while a bit out of breath. The tips of his fingers traced lines down my arm. "Still confused?"

"Funny. It's just… I don't know, it seems a little...soon."

"Soon for us to be making out, or soon for us to be making out in my bedroom?"

"I don't–I don't know," I admitted. "I mean, even though I officially broke up with him recently, we haven't really been together for about for about four months, anyway..." I blushed. "...Sorry."

"That's OK," he said, sent me an earnest smile.

"...I think I just need a little more time. Not that what just happened wasn't _good_ or anything–"

"It _was_ good," he agreed. I noticed hints of color in his cheeks.

"Finn, I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize," he said, and nudged my shoulder. We sat in silence for a minute or two, and then he turned to me and asked, "...So was that enough time, or..."

I laughed, and gave him a gentle look. "I can let you know."

"Yeah?"

I nodded, and nudged his shoulder right back. "Absolutely." I couldn't ignore the hope in his voice.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

When Lucas entered his darkened house nearing one in the morning and shut the door behind him, his hands reached to graze his wife's waist. Her purse dropped on the end table with a thud, and Lucas leaned to place a kiss on her neck, in a place that made her shiver. "Are you tired?"

Peyton placed her hands atop his, felt the way he was pressing into her in all the right ways. "Not really..." After getting two glasses of water (so she could just take a breath), the couple made their way upstairs.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Karen was abruptly woken up by the light from her bedside lamp shining in her face. Her eyes snapped open to see Larry Sawyer standing over her bed. "Karen," he said. "Karen, wake up!"

"What's wrong?" Karen asked, her eyes still bleary from sleepiness.

Larry shook her arm. "Ella's not here! It's five in the morning!"

"It's not five, Larry." Karen said, pushed up and glanced at her alarm clock. She sighed. "...It's 2:15."

"That's past one! We have to call the police. Now!"

"Alright, Larry, just take a deep breath." Karen rubbed her face. "Let me try calling her." She reached for her cell phone and dialed her granddaughter.

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

"I was kinda worried you were going to ask me to take you home," Finn admitted, looking over at me. Music was still flowing out of his record player, and we were still drinking Heineken.

"I thought about it," I admitted. "But then I said to myself, I kinda like hanging out with you."

He smiled and seemed relieved. "I like hanging out with you, too." He chuckled and cursed under his breath. "….I'm trying _really_ hard not to kiss you right now. Are you trying really hard, too?"

I hung my head back against the wall. "Yeah," I said, and we both dissolved into laughter. I soon cringed because of the pressure on my tailbone, and I switched to lie on my side.

"You alright?"

"I'm fine. I just can't sit in one position too long. When I was 14, I fell off a ski lift and kinda fucked up my tailbone."

" _What._ You fell off a ski lift? That's insane."

"It's totally insane." I shifted again and lay down, and Finn followed suit. "Pretty unbelievable, really."

Our toes were nearly touching, and so were our hands again. Finn's face was inches from mine, his gaze deep and soulful. "Alright." He sighed and made an abrupt move to get off the bed. He held out his hands, a signal that I should take them in mine. "We have to go back to the living room. This is like torture."

Soon we were back to sitting on the couch in the living room. We fell into easy conversation, as I admired the rows and rows of DVDs surrounding the television. " _This_ collection is definitely bigger than my mom's. It's bigger than mine." I turned to him on the couch. "Do you have a favorite movie of all time?"

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Lucas and Peyton's post coital bliss was rudely interrupted by a phone buzzing on the bedside table. Bed sheets rustled as Peyton reached blindly in the dark and squinted at the screen. "Karen," she answered. "What's the matter?"

 _"_ _Peyton, I am so sorry…Ella's not here!"_

"Well, where is she?!"

Lucas lifted his head from the pillow and looked over at his wife with bleary eyes. The lamp turning on and filling the room with light caused him to wince, but he pushed up on his elbows anyway.

"What's wrong?" he asked. He rubbed at his eyes, only to see his wife's expression morph into one of worry and fear.

"Keep calling her! We'll be right there." Peyton hung up the phone and tears filled her eyes as she looked Lucas' way. "Your mom gave Ella permission to go see a movie with a friend–she was supposed to be back by one. It's 2:30 and she's not home!"

"Don't panic." He said it firmly, so she could be calm. "Which friend?"

"I don't know! Finn something. Karen said they met at the hospital volunteering." Peyton scrambled out of bed, headed straight for the closet to throw on a pair of sweats and one of Lucas's sweatshirts. "We have to go! Hurry up."

Lucas got up and started putting on his clothes. His mother's house wasn't far, so he just put on a comfortable pair of pants and a long sleeve shirt. He watched his wife's frantic movements. "Peyton," he said, and she turned to him. "There's probably a perfectly reasonable explanation as to why Ella is late."

"Well if that's true, why isn't she answering her Goddamn phone?!" Peyton pulled the sweatshirt over her body, not bothering to put on a bra. "And why do we even pay for one if she doesn't use it properly?" she muttered, more to herself than to him. "And _'_ _probably?'_ what is that?"

"Honey," Lucas said, putting a hand on each of her arms. "Take a deep breath."

She didn't. She backed away from his hold instead. "For once–could you stop being so _fucking_ _calm_?! Where is the urgency, Luke?!"

"OK," Lucas said, his tone soothing. For now, he ignored what she implied. "Why don't we just get going."

"That's what I've been trying to tell you! God," Peyton breathed, and a tear or two fell out of her eyes. On his way out, Lucas grabbed a pair of her sneakers–she'd been in such a hurry that she left the bedroom barefoot.

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

"Can I get you another beer?" Finn asked me, as I looked through a mere portion of his movie collection.

"OK," I answered, and checked my cell. It was nearing midnight. "Do you have an I-Phone charger? My phone's dying."

"Oh yeah, sure. Here," he held out his hand, and I placed the phone in his palm. "The charger's in my room. Be right back."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

By the time they made it to Karen's house, all the lights on the bottom floor were turned on. They made their way into the sitting room without any introductions. Larry was on the couch, clutching his cane and slouching. He saw his daughter and his son-in-law and scoffed.

"What's Finn's last name?" Peyton asked, wiped her face from all the tears. Her mother-in-law's hands wrung together in a nervous habit.

"Ella didn't tell me. I should have asked. Peyton, honey, I am _so_ sorry. I feel horrible!"

"We don't even know his last name," she repeated, more to herself. The amount of tears in her eyes only grew. She looked to her husband, silently pleaded to him.

"Ma, what kind of car was he driving?"

"Oh God, I don't–I don't know," Karen said, desperation in her voice. She looked to her daughter-in-law, but Peyton avoided her gaze. "We should call the police."

"That's what I've been saying." Larry spoke up from his seat on the couch. He stared down his daughter. "You let Ella get away with too much. She gets to do whatever she wants."

Peyton glared at her father. "Dad, please...shut up."

Lucas silently reached into the pocket of his pants for his phone, about to dial 911, when Karen felt her cell phone buzz. "Hold on, she just messaged me. Finally!"

"What does it say?!" Peyton demanded.

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

Finn and I talked for what seemed like hours, about music and movies and almost everything in between. Conversation flowed between us for the most part. The beers I'd been drinking began to make me feel a bit light headed, and Finn eventually brought me some water.

"You OK?" he asked. I took the water and drank it in sips.

"I think the beers are getting to me," I admitted. "Don't let me drink anymore."

"OK," he laughed. "Feel like watching something? I wanna show you this new show on Netflix."

"Sure!"

"You can put your feet up, if you want," Finn offered.

"I wouldn't want to them to bother you."

"It won't," he said, and he motioned for me to put my feet up on his gray sofa. I did, and he remarked,"That must feel better."

"Maybe a little." Tension lingered between us, and ignoring it was fucking difficult. "So what's this show called?"

My eyes must've blinked closed in between two indistinct scenes. It had to have been the way I was laying on his couch, the softness of the couch cushions...either way, my haze was broken with a gentle jostling to my shoulder. Finn's voice drifted towards me.

"Ella," he said. "Wake up."

"Hm?" My eyes blinked open, and we were still in his dimly lit living room. I pushed up from laying on my side with my knees curled to my chest.

"You fell asleep."

Credits were rolling on the television screen–it must've been who knows how many episodes of that show later–empty beer bottles were lined up on the coffee table, along with the nearly empty bowl of chips that Finn brought out at some point.

My head was pounding. "What time is it?"

Finn checked his watch. "2:30."

 _._ " _What?!"_ I pushed off the sofa and stood up, put on my sneakers. My sleepiness made me lag a bit. "In the morning?! I was supposed to be home by one!"

At that, Finn stood up and grabbed his own shoes. "...You didn't tell me that."

"Fuck me," I cursed under my breath. I grabbed my crutches and practically ran to Finn's bedroom to grab my phone, where it' d been charging. Sure enough, I had four missed calls from my grandma Karen, two from Dad, three from Mom. I shoved my phone in my purse, grabbed my jacket. "We have to go! I'm going to be in so much trouble."

Finn snatched his jacket and car keys, shutting all the lights on the way out. "Why didn't you tell me you had a curfew?" he asked, as he struggled to keep up with my hurried step.

"I didn't think I was gonna fall asleep!" I pressed the call button for the elevator once, twice, three times. "Stupid beers." We got into the elevator, and I ran a hand through my hair. "Look, I'm not–I'm not mad at you, OK? You didn't know. I should've told you I had to be home by a certain time."

"Yes, you should have." Finn sighed. "I just feel bad; like this was my fault."

"No, it's not your fault. It's mine. I take full responsibility." We got out of the elevator at the lobby, walked to Finn's car, and drove towards my grandma's house. When we were about three blocks away, I said, "Here's good."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive." I took off my seat belt and rushed to get out of the car, but his hand on my arm stopped me.

"Wait–"

"What?!"

"…Will I see you again?"

I looked at him and squeezed his hand, let it linger for a few extra seconds. Then I bolted from the car and practically ran the remaining blocks to my grandma's house. When I got there, I saw my mom's Mercury Comet in the driveway. _Fuck_.

I pushed open the door, ran into the living room. My parents, who sat in the parlor, turned to me. Dad looked immensely relieved and Mom had been blatantly crying, apparent from her bleary eyes and red face. "Where WERE you?!"

"I'm sorry," I said right away. "I'm sorry." I held out my hands for fear she'd hit me. I was remarkably calm, even when she bombarded me in a hug. "You're bruising me a little."

Then, Mom finally hit me on my shoulder. Repeatedly. "Where the _FUCK_ were you?! Scaring us to death! Hm?! Who were you with?!"

"My friend," I said, weakly. "He's a friend."

"He? From where? Don't you _dare_ be evasive with me right now! I'm NOT fucking kidding!"

"Jesus, Mom; relax!"

"No! You disappeared! I thought you went missing! You don't get to tell me to relax!"

"Alright," Dad said. "Let's all take a deep breath." He put a hand on Mom's arm, leaned in to brush his lips against her temple. His touch seemed to ease her out of her rage, though silent tears were falling from her eyes. "Ella," he said. "What happened?"

"I was with my friend, we went to the movies...and then, then we went to his place and we were listening to music. Had a few beers, put on Netflix, and then I fell asleep. It was a _complete_ accident. I'm really, really sorry."

"Who is this friend?"

"His name is Finn. He's my age. He goes to Oak Lake High School. We met at the hospital, he's a volunteer there, too–"

"What were you doing sleeping at his place? You don't even know him that well," Mom demanded.

"I told you, it was an accident."

"You're grounded. Three weeks. Give us your phone."

"What?" I wailed. "No phone for three weeks?"

"That's right." Dad held out his palm. "Hand it over, Ella Grace."

I reached into my purse and handed my father my I-Phone. "I'm sorry, guys."

Mom scoffed, wiped away more tears yet. "You better go apologize to your grandmother. Right now!"

My stomach dropped. "Where is she?"

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

"Hi Grandma."

I found her with Andy in the room where the boys were sleeping. I guessed that all the commotion and excitement had woken Riley from his slumber. Andy was trying to coax him back to sleeping. "We'll be back–"

Grandma put a hand on Andy's arm. "Don't be silly. _We'll_ be back _._ " She motioned for me to leave the space subtly, but Riley saw me despite our best efforts. He held out his little arms and whined for me.

I blew him a kiss. "I'll be back, baby. I'll be back!"

I faced my grandmother in the quiet, dimly lit hallway, and swallowed my nerves. "Grandma, I'm really, really sorry."

Grandma nodded a rather stiff nod, and she said, "You know, I really feel taken advantage of. I don't think you would've done this with your mother here."

"It's not that," said. "I fell asleep at Finn's place after the movie. It was a complete accident–one that probably would've happened whether my mom was here or not. I didn't miss curfew intentionally to just make all your lives difficult." I attempted to joke, but Grandma didn't crack a smile. "I won't do it again. It was bad timing...very bad timing."

"Bad timing? You scared the hell out of all of us," Grandma said. "Especially your mom. I don't want you to take this so cavalierly."

"I'm not," I said, and flinched. "Grandma, my phone was charging in the other room, otherwise I would've texted you guys sooner. I swear. I'm sorry," I said again.

"I'm glad you're OK, Ella….but I'm pretty disappointed."

I looked at her with wounded eyes, and she passed me to reenter the room where Andy was putting my brothers back to sleep. Her words stung more than my mother's fear did.

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

 _Monday, April 1_ _, 2030,_ _3:15pm_

They let us out early from volunteering again, so I sat in the cafeteria with a coffee, where I would wait for my dad to come get me. A tap on my shoulder caused me to turn around.

"Hey," I greeted Finn, and he took a seat across from me at the table. "Thought you'd be gone by now."

"There's nowhere I really need to be right now. I tried calling you yesterday."

"Oh. I'm grounded," I said, and then flinched. "My parents took away my phone."

"Damn. Now I really feel bad."

"Please don't. It's all my fault. I'm the one who should've told you about the curfew. If anything I was kinda worried you were mad at me."

A slight smirk tugged on Finn's lips. "Nah."

"You sure?"

"I wouldn't have called you if I was mad at you," he said. "It's not like you did any of it on purpose."

"I really didn't." I tapped my cup of coffee on the table and spun it in my grasp. "...So I find out about Williams today."

"Yeah? I find out about BU."

"Well. Here's hoping history doesn't repeat itself."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Peyton and Lucas were in the kitchen, setting the table for dinner. Plates were out, silverware, cups, all that remained was the food. "There you are," Peyton said, when her daughter walked into the kitchen, and overwhelmed expression on her face. "...What's the matter?"

Lucas looked over, awaited Ella's reply.

"…I got into Williams!"

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-


	19. Tenerife Sea

**Been a while. Hope you guys enjoy this one. Don't forget to tell me what you think.**

 _Chapter Eighteen_

Tenerife Sea

 _Wednesday, April 3_ _rd_ _, 2030 3:50pm_

After spending the afternoon at the hospital, I was on my way downstairs to the basement level to grab my stuff and head out to meet my dad.

"Ella! You leaving?"

Upon hearing Finn's voice, I turned around. We'd spent the day separated. Finn instead helped our supervisor while I spent the day in the clinic. "Hey, yeah I am. My dad's picking me up…. what's got you so happy?"

"I got into BU!"

"Congrats! That's amazing…I actually got into Williams."

" _That's_ amazing!" He opened his arms for a hug, and I leaned into his embrace. He wore the same cologne that he wore that night we went out to the Blue Post. His hand pressed against my lower back, and he squeezed me the slightest bit. "Let's celebrate! I'm actually performing at an open mic this Friday. You should come."

"I would love to, but I'm grounded still."

"Oh, right. Damn." He shoved his hands into his jacket pockets. "Well...I guess I can just play privately for you sometime."

"Yeah?"

"Totally." His hands traveled down my arms, and just for a second I got nervous he was going to try and kiss me, but all he did was entwine our hands. "I'll see you later?"

"Mhm," I said. I felt goosebumps start to rise.

"Cool. Let me know when you get your phone back."

"Actually, speaking of that, I can still get messages through my laptop." I shrugged and added, "My parents tried."

"Nice," he chuckled. "Alright; I'll text you then."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

 _Friday, April 5_ _th_ _, 2030 3pm_

That Friday was a sunny one in Philadelphia, and students at UPENN were out enjoying it, playing frisbee, reading under the shade of a tree….Margie was fully intent on taking part in said activities, and yet as she left her dorm room she was drawn to knocking on Adrian's door. Her knock was met with silence, and the door was locked. She stood there only for a moment, before the door opened to reveal Tyler, Adrian's roommate.

"Hi..." he said.

"Hey," Margie returned. "I'm looking for Adrian."

Tyler pointed to the room. "He's in there. In bed, as usual."

Margie swallowed. "Y'know, have you ever thought about maybe helping him? You are his roommate."

"I tried."

"Well, is he still missing class?"

"I don't know. I'm not here to hold his hand." Tyler sighed. "….Don't look at me like that, OK? We've never been that close."

"Whose fault is that?" Margie muttered, nudging past Tyler and shutting the door. The room was cloaked in darkness on one side, and sure enough Margie could make out Adrian curled up underneath the sheets. Seeing her friend that way ignited something within her, and she turned on the light. "Adrian George," she said. "Get up."

"What the hell?" Adrian muttered, poked his head up from underneath his blanket. "Margie, turn the light off."

"No." She moved to sit on the edge of his bed. "Adrian, you have to get up."

 _"Why?!_ "

"Because."

"That's not a reason." Adrian shifted to turn his back to her, and Margie retaliated by pulling the blanket off him, causing his legs to push up against his chest to shiver at the cool air. "Jesus, Margie!" he yelled. "Stop."

"No, Adrian, I'm not going to stop. Enough is enough already. You can't be missing class like this. They're gonna put you on probation, and it's gonna ruin all that you worked for."

Adrian pushed up on his elbows, his eyes bleary with sleep. "Do you know what day it is? It's Friday. I don't have any classes today! Fucking Christ." He flopped down on the bed. "Give me my blanket."

"No. It's 3 o'clock in the afternoon. Get your ass out of bed right now."

"Oh my God; why the fuck do you care so much?"

"Did you really just ask me that?"

"Yes!"

"You're my _friend_ , you idiot. And you're about to finish up your freshman year at _UPENN._ You _can't_ fuck it all up now…. Adrian, come _on."_ He didn't move in the bed, and Margie sighed. Even though it made her nervous, she hit him with, "I don't think Ella would have wanted this for you."

At that, Adrian slowly turned and sat up. He stared at her, his eyes dull, and he said slowly, "You don't know the first _thing_ about what she would have wanted for me. OK? _Don't_ bring her up to me again."

"I don't know anything, huh? You only talked to me for hours about her–"

"Whatever! You still have no right to mention her to me. Not now, not ever. Do you understand that?"

"Way to be condescending."

"I'm not being condescending." He looked at her. "Are you crying?"

Margie turned away as her cheeks got hot. "Like you'd care."

"Hey, come on–"

She got up before he could reach out and touch her. "I'm leaving. Stay here all day if you want."

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

Grandma Karen invited us over for supper that night, in which she proudly showed us her new Google Home, which entertained us with music until the meal was ready to be served. Grandpa Larry seemed to be having an especially good time, what with his glass of cold beer that Mom allowed him to drink. "I missed hanging out with you, Karen!"

Grandma chuckled as she set down the last place setting. "I missed hanging out with you too, Larry. Lucas, will you help me bring out the last platter?"

"Sure thing," Dad replied, pushing up to stand and ruffling Riley's hair from where he sat.

"I'm so hungry," I told Mom, as I twirled my finger along the edge of my glass of ice water.

"Me too!"

Right as Grandma and Dad came back from the kitchen, the front doorbell rang. "Uh..."

"I wonder who that could be," Grandma said, rubbing her hands on her jeans. "I wasn't expecting anyone." We couldn't see the front door from the dining room, but we heard an all too familiar voice and his corresponding footsteps. Soon the visitor joined us in the dining room. "Look who's here!"

I stood up from my chair. "What's up, Andre?!" I reached to envelop him in a hug, and he patted my shoulder.

"What's going on, Ella? Been a while. How's everything?"

Andre was enrolled in a doctoral program at NYU, which meant many things, one being he was closer to Lily. So needless to say seeing him here in Tree Hill was a complete surprise. "Can't complain too much. What brings you back home?!"

"Just in town visiting my mom; thought I'd stop by to say hey! I hope it's alright."

Grandma waved away his concern. "You know you don't need to be invited to come over here. Are you hungry? There's plenty of food." Just like that, yet another place setting was added to the table.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

During the dinner rush at UPENN's main dining hall, Adrian was eating in a booth alone, earphones in his ears. He picked at his vegetables with disdain, and only looked up from his phone when Rudy slinked into the empty seat across from him. He pulled out his earphones and asked, an edge to his voice, "What?"

Rudy raised his brows. "Damn. I thought I'd say hi."

"….Hi."

"Did you say something to Margie?"

Adrian rolled his eyes. "Seriously?"

"C'mon, dude. You don't have to take what's going on out on her. It's not her fault."

"Can we talk about something else?" Adrian dug through his plate of food rather aggressively with his fork. "Really. Anything else."

"What're you doing tonight?"

"Probably nothing. Why?"

"We should go out. We go to school in _Philly_. There's gotta be something fun to do. What do you think?"

"I don't know if I'm in the mood."

 _"Come on,_ man. I know you don't want to hear this, but...it's been almost a month already."

"So? I dated her for _three years._ Three fucking years! You don't just forget that in a month–"

He held up his hands. "OK; OK. All I'm saying is that you shouldn't be playing around and missing all these classes–"

"Oh, will you relax? I haven't been missing classes this _entire_ time. Only sometimes."

"Well, how often is sometimes?"

"What is this?!" Adrian demanded. "What are you doing, monitoring me? Give me a fucking break." He shoved a forkful of mashed potatoes into his mouth, chewed, swallowed, and hid his cringe at the taste. "...I'm trying to eat."

"Go ahead," Rudy shot back. "Are we going out tonight or not?"

"Will that get you to leave me alone?"

"Yep."

"Fine, then yes; we'll go out. Happy now?"

Rudy got up from his seat in the booth. "Thrilled. See you later."

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-x-

We were all currently in that groggy state of fullness after stuffing our faces with my grandmother's delicious food. Plates were cleared, but dessert of cheesecake had yet to be served. I was playing with Riley when my phone went off in a text from Isa wondering what I was up to, and to suggest plans. "Mom? Do you think I could go out with Isa tonight?"

Mom chuckled, but not because she was amused. "You're grounded, Ella. And we're visiting with your grandmother."

"I know that, but...Isa wants to celebrate me getting into Williams. Please? I swear I'll be home on time..." I added, "Come on, Mom. I got into one of the best liberal arts schools in the country. That deserves some kind of recognition….it'll just put being grounded on pause for the night."

"Where does Isa want to go?"

"Just to TRIC."

"When would you leave?"

"She said she can pick me up in 20 minutes."

Mom pointed at me. "You be home by 10. I mean it."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"Here's to us," Isa said, as she lifted her glass in my direction. We managed to snag a table not far from the bar, even though the place was packed tonight. Not only were we celebrating me getting into Williams, but we were also celebrating Isa getting accepted to the New England Conservatory of Music in Boston. "I didn't realize it was open mic night. This should be fun!"

I watched as a TRIC staff member got up to the mic to announce the first act. "Hope all of you are enjoying yourselves tonight," he said, speaking over the low chatter around the club. "Give it up for our first act...Finn!"

"Oh shit," I breathed.

"Hello." He spoke into the mic and cleared his throat.

"That's _Finn_!" I whispered in Isa's direction. "The guy I went out with; we both volunteer at the hospital."

"That's _him_!? He's cute!" Together we watched him play. "I really like his voice," Isa whispered to me, as she casually sipped her drink.

At some arbitrary point, our eyes met. Finn sent me a lopsided smirk, and continued playing.

"He just gave you the look!"

"…What look?"

"The 'let's hook up later' look."

"No he didn't," I said.

"Oh yes he did," Isa replied. "And you're blushing."

We watched the rest of Finn's performance, in which he ended to modest applause. "Oh God," I muttered. "He's coming over here!"

"So?" Isa chuckled. "Get it."

I didn't have time to reply, as Finn was already at our table. "I thought you were grounded."

"It's on pause," I said. "This is my best friend Isabel; Isabel, this is Finn."

They exchanged pleasantries, after which Isa said, "Here, pull up a chair." Finn did so, sitting between us. "Awesome job with the song you just played."

"That was great," I agreed, and I patted his tricep.

"Oh, thanks. I'm glad you both enjoyed it." His cheeks filled in color at the way my hand caressed his arm, and he sent me a sideways glance.

Isa's phone, which rested on the table next to her soda, began to vibrate. "It's Hec," she announced. "I'll be right back." She got up from her chair, leaving Finn and me alone.

"So."

"So," I echoed. "...What?"

"Did you really just happen to walk in here, or did you remember that I was playing and wanted to come watch me?" He asked the question with a playful air, and I reminded myself to replicate his tone.

"Swear to God, we just happened to walk in, and you just happened to walk on stage. You did tell me you were playing at an open mic night; you just never told me where."

"Ah," he said. "It would've been a lot better for my ego if you had told me it was the latter."

"Sorry," I said, then he stuck his tongue out at me. I did the same.

"Well, regardless of how you got here, I'm glad you showed up."

"Yeah?"

Finn nodded. "Mhm. And...that you being grounded is on pause." He stared at me with those mesmerizing brown eyes that I felt myself getting lost in. I found my gaze fixating on his perfectly sculpted lips that looked like they were drawn onto his face, the skin on his chest that appeared where the top button of his shirt was undone.

"Ella..." I turned and didn't like the way Isa said my name–in a manner that was quite panic stricken. Sure enough, worry flooded her eyes as she stared at us. "Hector's grandma is in the hospital. He said she fainted while he was with her."

"Oh my God," I said. "Is she gonna be alright?"

"I don't know, but I have to go to the hospital."

"Of course; of course. Do you want me to come with you?"

"I think I'll be OK. Thanks, though." Isa turned her attention to Finn. "Do you think you can drive her home?"

"Absolutely."

"Deep breaths, Isa," I told her. "Let me know if you need anything at all, OK?" She nodded, grabbed her purse, slipped into the crowd, and was soon gone.

"So Hector's her boyfriend?"

"Mhm," I said. "He's really close to his grandmother, too..."

"Damn." He could see the worry that strained my expression. "Try not to be anxious," he said, before I'd even said a word. "The hospital's probably the best place she could be right now."

"Yeah...I just feel weird that we're sitting at a club while this is happening."

"She's your best friend, right? Well, I'm sure she would've told you if she truly needed you and couldn't handle it alone. She probably wouldn't want you to feel guilty, is my guess."

"Yeah," I sighed, and slightly shook my head. "All I can do is think good thoughts. Positivity, right?"

"Exactly." He sent me a small smile. "It'll be OK."

"Thanks," I said. My hand found his and rested there, where I felt the ridges of his knuckles, his wrist, his thumb and fingers, and he mine. "You really did sound great up there," I told Finn as I sipped my drink through a straw.

"Thanks," he returned, his smile exuding warmth.

"Does the offer of playing for me still stand?"

"Do you want it to?"

I rested my chin in my palm, surveyed him from head to toe. "I do."

"Then it stands," he said. The straw he sipped through made a gurgling sound as his glass was nearly empty. "You do any writing lately?"

"Just in my journal. Nothing of any particular consequence."

Finn hung his head to the side. "Aw, come on now. Writing in your journal is probably the most important writing you may ever do. And by you, I don't literally mean _you._ I mean in general."

"I know."

"I mean, just think about it. Putting all those thoughts that only you know–only you recognize– onto paper is so incredibly valuable. Chances are, no one else has thought those exact thoughts...or maybe they have….at least some variation of them. It's the stuff you reminisce about and look back on. That has to mean something."

"I guess you're right."

"I _know_ I'm right." Finn stuck his two fingers into his back pocket to pull out a small notebook. "That's my portable journal."

"Alright. Now you're just making me look bad."

He laughed. "Don't mean to."

"Do you ever write songs? Poems?"

"I compose music more than I write lyrics. I've tried my hand at poetry, but I think I'm more of a fiction kind of guy. What about you?"

"I'm more into fiction as well...and, I've actually written a song. Literally only one."

His eyebrows shot up with intrigue. "Really?"

"Mhm. One split second of inspiration and it led to a few verses."

"I'd love to hear it," Finn said.

"It's not done."

"So?" he chuckled. "Let me hear it anyway."

"It's scary… if I play it for you, then the song will begin to exist outside of me. It's the same thing with sharing writing."

"It may be scary, but it's also the exciting part. Getting feedback can be a great thing, especially if it's constructive. Then you'll have ways to improve."

"Are you like, an optimist or something?"

He laughed. "I don't know if I'd say that. I've just been playing music and sharing my writing with people long enough to not take what they say personally."

"That's easier said than done," I said, in between sips of my drink.

"Sure. But it's a good concept to practice. It'll help in this crazy ride called life, won't it?"

"You're looking at me as though I have the answers."

"I guess nobody does." There was somebody performing on the stage in the background, but neither of us were paying attention. "...Do you wanna go somewhere quieter?"

I checked my wristwatch, and it was only 7:45pm. "Sure."

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

As I thought, we ended up in Finn's car, in which he drove us to a secluded spot overlooking most of Tree Hill. The lights flickered in the distance, and it was really quite spectacular. "Isn't it just _awesome?_ "

"It is," I said, and he turned to me, sensing that my level of enthusiasm wasn't as high as his.

"…..You've been here before, haven't you?"

"Not for ages, but I have in the past, yes. I did grow up here."

"Aw, man!" He hung his head back. "I loving coming here. It helps me think. Clears my head." I started laughing. "What?"

"Clearly you've only been here by yourself." Finn furrowed his brows, and I went on, "This is where most people come to make out."

"...Right. Now it looks like I planned this whole thing, doesn't it?"

"A little."

"I mean..." he looked over at me. "We could do that, too."

I leaned my head back onto the seat. "Smooth."

"Unless you're still not ready. In which case, I don't know, we could see a movie or get dessert or something else."

I unclipped my seatbelt, got out, and moved to the backseat. Finn was watching my every move and eventually followed me. Amy Winehouse was playing on the car stereo, and when Finn leaned in to kiss me, his lips were soft, his touch gentle. I ran my hand up the back of his neck, the other sliding up and down his left thigh. As the minutes passed, our embrace got more passionate. I pulled on the lapel of his shirt, and he traced lines up my back along the fabric of my blouse. His tongue rubbed against mine, and soon he moved to kiss behind my earlobe, soft pecks that just left me wanting more of his sensual touch–not soon, or later, but now. I let out heavy breaths as his rosy lips pressed against a certain spot. He whispered in my ear, in a jocose kind of way, "Did you just moan?"

"Shut up." I moved my thumb across his forehead, down the side of his face. When we started kissing again, his body pushed up against mine and I eventually lay back against the seat.

"It's OK if you did," he said, smirked at me. "It really turns me on." My cheeks began to heat up, which he stroked with his thumb. "Aw, you're blushing."

"I can't...be held accountable for what I say or don't say when you're….doing what you're doing."

"Yeah?" I looked down as I felt his finger traveling down my stomach, brushing against the expanse of skin on my waist above my jeans and below my blouse. His hand moved below the fabric, and he leaned down to press his lips against mine. "What about what you _do?"_ His words hit me like mist, and soon his hands palmed my left breast, pushing and squeezing. I pressed against his crotch, this time to hear him moan, which continued when I started rubbing him through his jeans. He exhaled heavily, before asking, "I guess this means you're ready?"

"Ready for what? For sex?"

"No," Finn said. "To make out with me!"

"Oh. Right."

"But I mean if you _wanted_ to–"

"Stop it," was all I said, and we both laughed. I pulled my legs close to my chest, brushed my wavy hair from my face. "So...I don't usually do things like this."

"What? Make out with hot guys in their cars?"

"Yes," I said, and Finn kept chuckling. "I don't know; I've just never done this before. I mean we haven't known each other very long...I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't usually fool around."

He began rubbing my leg. "Well, if it's any help, you're _really_ good at it."

"Yeah?"

"Uh.. hell _yeah!_ Look: I'm so fucking hard right now." He motioned to his crotch, and sure enough I could spot his erection bulging through his pants. I covered my face with my hands, muttered _oh my God_ into them. I felt his hands run up and down my arms. "What?" he laughed.

"Nothing. I can be shy."

"Don't be. Unless being shy means you're secretly uncomfortable and don't know how to tell me."

"No, no. I'm not uncomfortable; I promise. I think–I think it has to do with me putting limits on myself all the time. I don't wanna do that anymore. Maybe this is what I need–being here, spontaneously hanging out with you. And if we make out in your car, and...do other stuff, then so be it."

"Like what kind of other stuff?" he seemed so young right then, but definitely _not_ innocent. I gently reached under his jeans and boxers to feel him throbbing, and I began slowly stroking him up and down, letting him moan into my mouth and pull me closer and tighter to him. "Fuck," he breathed out. "That feels amazing. Keep doing that." He moaned into my shoulder, and in return he cupped my breast under my blouse and through the fabric of my bra. He dropped little kisses along the side of my neck, then pulled away to say quietly, "I'm glad you're not putting limits on yourself anymore." The sides of his lips curled into a smirk.

"Why?" I nudged him with my right foot.

"Because….I don't know….you really shouldn't. There's no reason to."

"Yeah. I guess it's because...I'm acting in a way I think I'm meant to act, rather than how I really want to."

"Like when? Now?"

"Well, just like...I think I'm torn between my emotional and rational mind. My rational mind is telling me that it's too soon to be doing something like this, but my emotional mind is just...begging me to let go. It's almost like I'm holding myself back. Does that make any sense?"

"Well… is hanging out with me something you think you have to do, or something you _want_ to do?"

Even though I was starting to get uncomfortable sitting propped up against the car door, I felt the way Finn's arm lay draped across my stomach; the way our shoulders touched; the way our body heat caused the closed windows to get a little steamy. "What I want to do," I said, my quiet voice piercing the hazy air between us.

He reached up and brushed a strand of hair behind my ear. "Then… I don't think there's anything else to it." We started kissing again, our lips melding together like the best of things do. There was something in Finn's touch that kept me calm; that eased me. Perhaps it was his gentleness, or maybe his assertiveness, which was enough to thrill me and make me feel safe all at once. When he pulled away, I missed the feel of his tongue rubbing against mine, the way his hands roamed my stomach. "Can I ask you something, though?"

"Sure."

"This...being torn stuff. It's not really about still having feelings for your ex boyfriend, is it?"

"No," I answered. "I promise you it's not. I just meant...I meant that I think I'm waiting a certain amount of time after the break-up because it seems like that is what should be done...doesn't mean I want to. I'm not–I'm not still torn up over him. Seriously."

Finn shrugged. "If you don't want to wait, then don't. Are you saying that the reason you're waiting is because it's what people expect of you?"

"I think it's what I expect of myself."

"I don't think you should put that much pressure on it. You know? You broke up with a guy, and then you met me and now we're...hanging out. People move on. Happens all the time, or else we'd all be dysfunctional over our exes." At my small smile, Finn poked me in the side. "Relax, Ella. Don't stress over this; it's not worth it. Just...hangout with me."

"Sorry I just told you all that." I blushed and joined our hands.

"What're you apologizing for? It's alright."

"I don't want to lead you on."

"Stop it," he said, kissed my cheek. "You're not. You just told me this is what you wanted; right?"

I nodded, and my heart lifted in my chest. "It's what I want."

"Well then...screw everything else." We both leaned in at the same time. I got to feel his tongue clashing with mine, and the way his palm pressed up against my lower back.

"What?" I asked when he stopped kissing me after several minutes.

"Are you hungry at all? You didn't eat anything at TRIC."

"I had a big dinner at my grandmother's, but I could go for some dessert."

"Let's do it, then."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

In the midst of a crowded bar, Adrian sat at a high table in front of a small bowl of mixed nuts and a glass of craft beer on tap. Rudy patting him on the shoulder stole his attention away from his state of immeasurable sadness.

"Can you at least _act_ like you wanna be here?"

"I'm not that good of an actor," Adrian said, taking three gulps of his drink.

Rudy shook his head. "You gonna ignore Margie all night?"

"I'm not ignoring her. She's ignoring me."

Margie was at the bar ordering another cranberry and vodka with the fake ID she had on her. It was true in the sense that the two hadn't really spoken since they crammed into the back of an Uber as they left campus.

"OK," Rudy said. "I don't understand why you guys can't just work it out."

"What're you–what's to work out? She's the one who put herself into that situation of caring after me when I don't want to be taken care of. We're all adults here."

"Dude, you're not really acting like it. Margie went into your room earlier because she cares about you and because you're her friend. She didn't 'put herself into a situation.' She was being the inherently good person that she is. By brushing her off, you're the one who's acting like an asshole." Before Adrian could interject, Rudy went on, "Look, I know you're all sad and everything about Ella, I understand that, but it doesn't give you the right to treat Margie like shit. You're not the first and only person to be dumped by someone; so just chill the hell out."

Adrian shook his head as Rudy got up to join Margie at the bar. He was left alone.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Peyton was busy tending to a fussy Miles, while at same time checking on Riley, who fell asleep somewhere in between dinner and dessert. Which left Larry, Lucas, Karen, Andy, and Andre. All were nursing a digestif, though Larry was given less than everyone else because of the medication he was on. "I still can't believe I'm serving you alcohol, Andre," Karen said. At 22, Andre was of legal drinking age, but it was still an odd feeling for the other adults in the room. "I remember when you and Jamie were just little kids."

"I was literally just thinking about that," Lucas said, taking a sip of his drink. "Time flies."

"Sure does," Andy chipped in, humming along to an old Billie Holiday record playing on the victrola.

Larry set down his drink and pushed up from his seat using his cane. "I'll be right back," he said. His slow gait led him to the restroom. Right as Larry left the room, Peyton entered it.

So...I'm really glad everyone is all here in the same room." Andre spun his glass in his palm. " I did come back to Tree Hill to see my mom, but I didn't just stop by to say hi to y'all tonight. I'm here because–because I wanted to talk to you about something." He was looking directly at Lucas, Karen, and Andy, who were sitting in a row next to each other on the couch.

"OK," Karen said, carefully. "What's going on?"

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Adrian walked with his hands shoved into his pockets. The night was beautiful and breezy, buzzing with activity and people and life. He was only slightly paying attention to Rudy and Margie's conversation, interjecting only when it was absolutely necessary. He felt his body getting warm at all the alcohol consumption, getting dizzy, but not enough to stop.

"Margie," he said, and she turned to him. He could tell right away she was on guard by the way she edged slightly away from his step, and it hurt. "I'm sorry."

"Don't you get tired of apologizing all the time?"

"Look, I know I've been acting like a jerk. I'm just hurting right now...but it's no excuse. You've been really good to me….and I–I haven't reciprocated that goodness. It's not fair to you."

Margie stared at him. "Are you drunk?"

"Getting there." He dug into his jacket pocket and handed her his cell phone. "Here. I don't trust myself. I might text or call her. I have a habit of doing that when I drink. Don't wanna risk it."

Margie nodded and slipped the phone into her purse. "Got you covered."

They resumed walking, hearing the far off sounds of Rudy talking on the phone with someone behind them. Adrian nudged Margie's side with his elbow. "You really have been good to me. ..I don't deserve a friend like you." He tried to ignore the way her eyes brimmed in hurt–for a moment–when he said, _friend,_ and he marveled at the complexity–or perhaps, the simplicity, of Margie defending and protecting their friendship, while deep down craving something more. Nodding was her reply, and Adrian understood. Maybe Margie did all this because she'd rather have him in her life than not have him at all. "I'm gonna be better," he said. His words moved slowly between them, hidden and secretive. "I promise." His thumb brushed against her knuckle, and he reached boldly to link their hands together.

-x-x-x- **EGS-** x-x-x-

We sat on a bench by the boardwalk, me with my cone of chocolate peanut butter ice cream, and Finn with his cone of dulce de leche ice cream. "It's almost 10," I said, taking a quick look at my wristwatch. "...I should get going."

Finn pouted in what may've been the most adorable pout I'd ever seen. "Fine. Go."

"Stop," I laughed. "I don't want my grounding to be even longer if I miss curfew again."

"When will you be free again?"

"Just before Easter."

Finn licked his ice cream, let the taste rest on his tongue. "Damn. Your parents really lay down the law, huh?"

"I guess my mom just got really freaked out when my grandma called in the middle of the night to tell her I wasn't in my bed."

"...Yeah; that does sound pretty bad. Oops."

I nudged our shoulders together. "At least I can still text you through my laptop. I know you hate texting, but it's better than nothing."

"That's true."

I reached over and grabbed Finn's free hand. "Thanks for being so understanding with...everything."

"Hey, you don't have to thank me," he said. "It should be expected."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

By the time the three were en route to UPENN's campus it was nearing 2:30 in the morning. Echoes of other students partying filtered through the night. The one who saw with the most clarity was Margie, then Rudy, then Adrian. He was definitely pretty buzzed, just not drunk enough to be stumbling or blacking out or throwing up in a bathroom stall.

"Night," Adrian mumbled, as he sloppily opened the door to his room and plopped down fully clothed on the bed. After Rudy made sure he was laying on his side, he and Margie left and made their way to Rudy's room. His roommate was also out, probably partying or something to that end.

Rudy put in _Seinfeld_ on his PlayStation 4, and they settled in atop his bed. During the lull between episodes, Rudy asked, "So, how are you doing?"

"Me?"

"Yeah," Rudy chuckled. "You!"

"I'm doing OK."

"I saw you and Adrian holding hands tonight."

Margie felt her cheeks redden profusely. "Oh. Yeah."

"How are you doing with that?"

"What, with me and Adrian? I don't think there's much to discuss. We're friends."

"Come on. I think there's more to it than that. I definitely feel the energy between you two."

Margie shook her head. "It's just...it's so hard. I'm obviously guarded. I don't want to let myself get excited at things like us holding hands, or when we have really deep fucking conversations at one in the morning, or when we joke around...because I know he's still torn up over her."

"I can understand that."

"Like, what if something happens between us and then they get back together? She changes her mind? Or he wins her back?"

"What do you mean, 'if something happens?' like you guys have sex or something?"

Margie blushed again, and Rudy noticed, but said nothing. "I don't know, maybe….I just really don't want to get hurt, ya know?"

"I don't think anybody goes into something _wanting_ to get hurt. I mean, yeah it's definitely a risk...but just think of the reward if it works out! Not to be cheesy, but how can you ever open yourself up to love if you're not willing to bear the risk?"

Margie watched her friend, and thought, _he really wasn't the shallow guy he often made himself out to be._ "Yeah."

"Adrian's in a bad place right now. So maybe wait, and then make your move."

"What makes you think it has to be me?"

"Dude. Adrian's so dense most of the time. You had to spell out your feelings for him in Boston; remember? Plus, contrary to popular belief, it doesn't _always_ have to be the guy who goes after the girl. Go get yours!"

She laughed. "Oh my God."

"I'm serious! I want you to be happy."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

The walk over to his dorm room was a walk she'd done at least hundreds of times since starting at UPENN. This time, though, she was wrecked with nerves. What kept her going was her conversation with Rudy. Deep down, she knew that Adrian felt something towards her, too. She just felt it. She knocked on his door like she always had, and he answered the door with a modest smile–and she could tell by the gaze in his eyes that he was sad. "Hey."

"Hi," she returned. "Can I come in?"

"Sure," he said, and waved her inside. His laptop screen was still bright, papers were shuffled around on his desk and a book lay open with a highlighter in between pages. He sat down on the edge of his bed as Margie took a seat in the chair nearby. "What's up?"

She looked at him and all the words she wanted to say were sticking to her throat. She stood up, hoping some physical movement would start the conversation. "Um…" she began. _Oh great. All the words that exist and I pick 'um.'_ "Sorry, I–I don't really know how to–" She took a deep breath, and that seemed to put her at ease a bit. "You remember that night in Boston? Back in January?"

"Yeah," Adrian said, watched her.

"I told you I liked you, which was really hard for me, because my rational self knew you were still in love with Ella–there was no way I could protect my heart if you knew how I felt. I was right."

His eyes tinted to a shade of deep amber. "Margie…"

She held up her hand, a sign he should be quiet. "Just, please. Let me finish, OK?" She looked him right in the face. "I was right, so I distanced myself with the excuse that I needed to learn how to be your friend...and I did...but it was more because my feelings for you grew every day, and I wasn't so sure how to handle it–but now I do." Another deep, shuddering breath escaped from between her lips. "Adrian, I like you. I _really_ like you. I like you and I want to be with you, and I know that may seem crazy and stupid, but it's the truth."

It seemed as though eternity passed before he spoke. "It's not stupid."

"It is, though, because I know Ella is still in your head. I mean, come on, tell me she isn't."

He swallowed so loud, Margie heard it from where she stood. He shrugged as his posture deflated."I love Ella. I probably–I probably always will. She was a big part of my life for a really long time, and she's special to me...despite what I might say when I'm wasted." He blushed, but continued on, "It's...it's weird to not have her in my life in the way that I'm so used to. We'd talk on the phone or text every day about everything and nothing at the same time. She was more than my girlfriend, she was my confidant and best friend." He held out his hand in a gentle manner. "I'm not saying these things to hurt you, but they're my truths...you know?"

The lump in Margie's throat was huge. The visions she had of this talk were slipping farther and farther away, flickering in and out, slowly fading into the darkness. She said, "Yeah," though it didn't feel like it was going to suffice at all, and she felt so very small, standing there in his dorm room.

Adrian ran a hand over the stubble on his handsome face. "But...that doesn't mean that I don't feel things for you, too."

Something inside of her leapt. "...Really?"

"Really." He pushed up to stand, and moved over to her. He reached for her hand, skin warm to the touch. "I just...I don't want to end up hurting you more."

"By doing what?" she asked, her voice strained.

"By starting something with you while being conflicted. It wouldn't be fair to either of us….at least, that's what logic is telling me."

"But what're you _feeling?_ "

He ran his thumb over her knuckles and the several eclectic rings she wore, and held her hand. It was a strange sensation almost, like he was expecting to look down and see Ella's hand attached to his own, and not that of Margie. He gazed at her, took in every single feature of her angelic face: her deep, soulful brown eyes; the curve of her nose and the ridge of her lips; the hoop earrings that dangled from her earlobes; the little scar he noticed a little while ago on the side of her slender neck. The words slipped out of his mouth, and when they did, he felt lighter somehow. "Like I wanna kiss you."

He heard that one single breath catch in her throat, the sharp inhale. She shut her eyes for just a split second, and soon the two were locked in an embrace. His lips were smooth, soft. His hands were moving up her back, and hers up his waist. It was certainly new, all this kissing, but felt oddly familiar and safe, like it might when two good friends evolve into something more. When they parted, the air between them was warm. For lack of anything better to say, they both chuckled, cheeks rosy red. Adrian lightly tugged on Margie's hand, pulling her to sit with him on his bed, not as a proposition, but as a way to get more comfortable. Really, it was an excuse to hold her and not let go for a while, just to see what it would be like to be intimate in this way with a different girl. She followed him, kicked off her slippers and sat down. He loved that she was already so comfortable around him, that she let him see her in her sleepwear.

"What?"

"I like your pajamas," he admitted. She was wearing one of those oversized _Life is Good_ shirts, with plaid bottoms and fuzzy socks. It wasn't the first time he'd seen her that way, being that she was often cozy when they had movie nights or were hanging out over drinks. "They're cute."

She rolled her eyes, her customary response to such a compliment. "Thanks."

A strand of her dark hair fell in front of her face, and Adrian reached over and brushed it aside. He leaned in and continued kissing her, this time pulling her extra close by her waist. Eventually, she was fully sitting on his lap, their waists touching slightly. She was a good kisser; not too firm or aggressive, but not too soft, either.

They only broke apart so they could scoot to the head of the bed to lay down lengthwise, their heads resting on Adrian's pillow. She was looking up at him, her eyes wide and innocent. "Does this feel right to you?"

He was running his hand up and down her waist now, admiring the lovely curves of her body that were partly hidden by the shirt that was one size too large. "I just don't want you to think you're a rebound or something."

"I mean, other people may think that, but I don't feel that way," she said. She playfully prodded at his bellybutton. "You didn't answer my question."

Adrian wondered if he should tell her that he was absolutely terrified beyond belief. Not in a paralyzing sort of way, but a way that had him overlooking a precipice with the choice of whether or not to jump. Then he said, "...You're more than just a rebound to me, Margie. I care about you."

"I know," she said, her tone soft. "I care about you, too."

He watched her for another moment. "...Yes."

"Yes what?"

He kissed her deeply, his tongue slipping into her mouth and getting hit with warmth. He pressed his hand into her soft skin, let her leg rest atop his. "Yes, this feels right to me," he muttered against her lips, before kissing her once more. Admittedly, he himself was astounded by his remarkable self control as they made out heavily on his bed. To have her body pressing up on his; to hear the little sighs escaping her mouth as his lips peppered the side of her neck….it was tough to not ravish her then and there, but he had to check himself. So he pulled away, and for the next hour and a half or so, they talked.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"Where's Dad?" I got home from spending time with Finn a little before 10pm, and found my mom curled up in her bed with a book.

"In the library writing," Mom answered. "How was your night?"

"It was good," I said. I decided not to tell her about Finn yet because I knew she was still upset about my missing curfew by being at his house. It wasn't a lie; it was a good time. "How was your night?"

Mom set down her book and looked at me. "You're not going to believe what happened after you left."

I sat up, ready to hear some great gossip. "What?!"

"You know how Andre was here?"

"Yeah. What happened?"

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

 _Easter Sunday, 2030_

That Easter Sunday was hosted by Nathan and Haley, who invited Brooke and her family over as well. Karen and Andy were also in attendance, grateful to be with family but missing LIly as well, who was in New York City working for the holiday. The get together was filled with laughter and thankfulness, as always. As Riley played with blocks and Miles napped after the Easter ham, and the adults sat around the large muted television screen and reminisced while listening to some tunes.

"I'm just going to go check on Miles," Peyton announced, standing up from her seat. Even though she carried around a monitor, she still liked to go check and make sure her youngest son was safe and snug where he slept.

"I'll go with you," Lucas said, as he too stood up. He placed his hand lightly on the small of her back, and together they went to one of the guest bedrooms in the lavish mansion. The parents crept into the room and sure enough Miles was fast asleep.

"He looks so peaceful, right?" Peyton whispered, a dreamy look in her eyes. She was absolutely enamored with all three of her children–that much was obvious, but was also present in the subtlety of the everyday moments; like when she watched Miles in a deep sleep, or heard Riley laugh; or the excitement in Ella's voice after a particularly good or eventful day.

"Mhm," Lucas answered, equally enamored by the sight. He traced lines down the midsection of his wife's back, honestly grateful for a few moments of alone time. He adored his brother and extended family, but after a while the comotion and activity it got a little overwhelming for his introverted self. "You tired too?" So was his customary way of checking up on her, especially when they could find a few moments of private time at a gathering.

"Getting there," Peyton admitted. She reached up and stroked her thumb along her husband's clean shaven cheek. She leaned forward and pecked his lips, once, twice, three times, and then said. "Happy Easter, Luke."

"Happy Easter, baby," he said back, kissing her once more. His gravelly voice was enough to send a small shiver down her spine. "Love you so much." He pulled her close and held her for a few sacred seconds. He whispered in her ear, his lips brushing against her earlobe and making her sigh, "I'm so happy to be spending another Easter with you." Everyone knew Lucas was a romantic man and very much with the words, but around a big holiday or life event he got especially sentimental.

"Me too." Peyton winked at him and then they eventually went back to the gathering, baby monitor in hand.

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

I plopped down next to Jamie, who held a beer in his hand. "You look nice in purple," I mentioned, referring to my cousin's button down shirt he wore.

"Thanks!" He nudged his shoulder with mine. "So what's been up with you?! I've missed our talks."

"Not much! Just starting to think about my final decision with college. I feel like that's enough stress," I joked. "And…that's it," I finished lamely. "Have you heard from Adrian?"

I swallowed and ignored the slight gnawing in my stomach at the mention of him. "Nah," I said. "I think it's better that way to be honest."

"There you go. As I like to say, 'NEXT!'"

I laughed a bit. "Actually…"

"Seriously?! What's his name?! What's he do?"

I lowered my voice. "OK well, don't tell anyone, but his name is Finn. He's my age and goes to Oak Lake. We met volunteering at the hospital. He's really sweet, funny, and is a writer and loves movies like me. Nothing's official yet; we're just hanging out right now."

Jamie nodded in approval. "Cool. Also, it doesn't have to be official or anything. There's nothing wrong with hanging out and getting to know each other with the pressure off. Not everything has to be a relationship or deep and meaningful."

"I know."

He added in hushed tones, "I'm not endorsing you to go off and just...you know…."

"Have sex?" I finished, just to watch him squirm.

"Yeah," he said.

"I know."

"Not that there's anything _wrong_ with that. That's your decision. As long as you're smart and safe, ya know?"

"Mhm."

"I'm just saying, don't feel like you have to leap into another relationship so soon. Let things develop and see what it's like to be single. You're going to college! That's an awesome time to have certain freedoms."

I nodded. "I really like him, though."

"Just be sure to protect your heart too. I just never know with all these guys wanting to date my cousin."

I rolled my eyes as I blushed. "Yeah right."

Jamie chucked, and Jamie leaned forward to kiss my cheek.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

I made my way into the backyard when my family began to congregate there. The afternoon was under a beautiful clear sky. As Riley played in the playground with Mattie, the Baker twins and little Aaron under the adults' supervision, I sat in a porch swing, but i wasn't alone for very long.

"There's my niece!" Uncle Nathan's domineering voice filled the air between us. He held an IPA in his hand, as was his usual drink of choice. He took a seat next to me and the swing moved under his weight. He patted my knee, turned to me with genuineness in his sweet voice and asked, "How're things going?"

"Pretty well," I answered. "School's wrapping up; college is around the corner...you know; same old same old."

"And how have you been feeling?" Uncle Nathan's voice was sweet and calm, and as his gorgeous eyes looked into mine I saw them flicker imperceptibly to my legs.

"I'm alright," I decided. "Still working with Joshua, my physical therapist, as he still gets on my nerves. I think–and I hope I'm not speaking too soon–that the hardest days of my recovery are behind me. I think." With the craziness of school and my fluctuating social life with family and friends, I've been able to sort of push my recovery to the background. Not that I wasn't working towards becoming physically stronger, because I was still going to PT two times a week and doing work on my own with my dad….what I mean to say is, the CP and all things associated aren't always the front and center of my daily life–make no mistake, I know I am fortunate that this is the case. Working at the hospital and at times seeing other patients with cerebral palsy and other neurological conditions has made this even more apparent. I hadn't really had the chance to think about it with the exception of one thing, of which I had just decided to reveal to my uncle. "So I've actually chosen a goal to work towards with my recovery and progress."

"That's great; I like it. What's your goal?"

Not only were my uncle and I very close, that much is obvious, but I think I decided to share with him because of the days he spent wheelchair bound before I was born. I know that he fell into a hole of depression and despair for a while, which frightened everyone profoundly. That's not what I like to think about, though. I choose to consider his comeback, his own recovery. He thought he'd never walk again and he proved himself wrong.

I'm not trying to compare my uncle's horrific incident with my surgeries, but I just admire the way he rose from the ashes with such strength and humility and grace. If i could attain half of those qualities, I'd consider myself lucky.

"Don't tell anyone, but I want to walk across the stage at Graduation without crutches to get my diploma."

Uncle Nathan's smile grew big and wide, and it reached those mesmerizing, kind eyes. "Ella, that's an _awesome_ goal."

"Thanks," I chuckled. I pulled out my phone from my purse. "Let me show you something."

-x-

 _That afternoon at physical therapy started out in typical fashion: some stretching, then 20 minutes on the recumbent bike. Afterwards, Joshua announced he wanted me to practice walking. "Do you have your phone on you?"_

" _No, I don't." I was still grounded, but it was almost over._

" _That's OK, we'll use mine." Joshua reached into the front pocket of his green scrubs and pulled out his I-Phone. He handed it the aide, gestured to him and said, "I want him to film you walking."_

 _Instantly, my stomach doubled over in nerves. "Seriously?" You'd think I'd be used to it with all the evaluations Dr. Farrell did on me, but it was still anxiety inducing._

" _Yes; seriously."_

" _I kinda feel like somebody's watching me when I'm being filmed."_

 _Joshua let out a sarcastic chuckle. "You think nobody's gonna be watching you at your graduation ceremony?! This is good practice. Come on, you'll thank me later for this."_

 _Again, another instance when I wanted to punch my physical therapist in the face, but deep down i knew he had a point. "Alright, alright." I leaned my crutches on the wall behind me, widened my base of support and took a deep breath. Pain began shooting up my leg from having to stand for a prolonged period of time in one spot._

 _The aide held up the phone, and Joshua stood at the ready by my side in case I fell. "Ready?" he asked me. I nodded. "Go."_

 _-x-_

I showed Uncle Nathan the video that Joshua sent to me recently. My uncle nudged my shoulder with his broad one, and joked, "What're you, trying to make me cry?!" He reached his arm over my other shoulder for a side hug. "There's no way I could have any sort of bad day after watching this. I am so proud of you, honey!"

"Thanks." I leaned into his side, smelled his signature cologne and familiar scent. "Just please don't tell anyone about the goal or video. I don't want people to know because it puts a lot of pressure on me. It's hard to explain."

"I know exactly what you mean," he assured me. "Your secret's safe with me, kiddo." He held up with fists and I bumped mine against it. "If you need any help or want to use my gym again, just say the word."

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

When I went back inside, Mom was changing Riley into some more comfy clothes before he went back into the yard. "There's your sister!" Riley's whole face lit up as my heart swelled.

"Hi baby! Watcha got there?"

Riley gestured to his stuffed elephant Eddy he never went without. "This mine. Eddy."

Riley was a little squirmy but eventually let Mom put the tee shirt on in the place of his nice collared shirt and light blue bow tie. Unable to resist, Mom brought him onto her lap and covered his adorable, beautiful face in kisses. "You're mine. Mommy loves you so much!"

My little brother erupted into giggles, and he kissed our mother's cheek. Mom stood up, holding his hand and said, "Come on, let's go play some more, and then we'll do story time, OK?"

"Ya! Play."

I ruffled his hair as I went back to my seat on the couch and checked my phone. It was admittedly nice to have it back. I had a text from Finn, which read,

 _Happy Easter if you celebrate :)_

I replied, _Thanks, I'm at my uncle's house. Been a nice afternoon. What are you up to?_

We continued in this manner for a little while, before I was pulled away by a conversation with my uncle Derek and Aunt Lisa, and eventually Easter came to a close.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-


	20. Masollan

_Chapter Nineteen_

Masollan

 _Saturday, April 27_ _th_ _, 2030_

This Saturday marked three days since I had officially decided to attend Williams in the Fall. I sent in my deposit, and that was it. The idea of going away to school in Massachusetts was exciting and nerve-wracking at the same time, but I know I made the right choice.

The next few weeks were full of events for myself and my family: Mother's Day was around the corner, then my little brother Miles' first birthday, my parents' 19th wedding anniversary on the 23rd of May, then my senior prom was the next day on Friday the 24th. At least I could distract myself by looking for prom dresses, which is what I was indeed actually doing that Saturday afternoon at my aunt Brooke's Clothes over Bro's boutique in Charlotte. Because it was a Saturday and the boutique was open to shoppers, Aunt Brooke opened a private room upstairs behind her office especially for me. I was a little overwhelmed at first with the all the choices to pick from, but once I told my aunt what kind of style I was looking for, and what color I thought might look good, we were able to narrow it down.

It was just me, Aunt Brooke, my mom, Natalie, and Isa. Aunt Brooke had put on music on the speakers as my mom helped me change into each dress, then I would come out to see how it looked on me and to hear what everyone thought.

"What do you guys think?" I asked, as I stood in my third dress.

"I _love_ that one," Aunt Brooke said. "You look amazing."

"You really do, Ell," Isa commented from her place on the sofa.

"Is this shade of red OK with my skin tone?" I asked, looking at my aunt.

"I think it looks great on you," Mom said. "But does my opinion count? I know I'm your mom and all."

"Yes, Mom." I gestured to Aunt Brooke. "She does this for a living, and she's good at it."

She said, "I _am_ good at it. Turn around so we can see the back."

As I tried on my last dress for the day, I invited Isa into the changing room with me equipped with an excuse that I wanted her to help me this time.

"Slip your arms in the straps gently," Isa said, and when I did she zipped up the dress from the back. We surveyed the dress in the mirror. "I like it, but I think I like the last one you tried on more."

"Me too," I agreed.

"How're you doing with all this?" she asked me after a moment.

"With what, prom?"

"Well, yeah."

I knew what she meant. Everyone around me, Isa included, was going to prom with their boyfriends or girlfriends or significant others, and I wasn't. How was I doing seeing all the over-the-top prom proposals that was sort of a rite of passage for high school? "I'm doing OK," I said, and took a deep breath as my stomach clenched. "Honestly, it's tough because I really always thought I'd be going to my senior prom with Adrian." Tears pricked at my eyes and I blinked so that they'd go away.

"Yeah," Isa lamented. She ran a hand up my arm to comfort me as we both looked in the mirror in the changing room. She could still see my face even though she was standing behind me.

"...Which doesn't necessarily mean I still _want_ to be going to my prom with him. I just always thought I _would_...but I know I did break up with him, and that this is the way things have to be."

"Right. Even if you secretly _did_ want to go to the prom with him, there's nothing wrong with that, Ell. You guys dated for a _really_ long time. I think it's almost expected to crave that sense of normalcy and comfort that you had in the relationship–especially now that you're going off to college and going to experience something totally new. It doesn't mean that you _regret_ your decision to break up with him. Right?"

"Right."

"Besides, even though you initiated the break up, he initiated the break in the first place, so."

"Yeah." I spun around. "You better get changed too, Chica."

Isa stared at me. "….Why?"

"You didn't think I was going to take you with me prom dress shopping at my aunt's boutique and not have you pick something out for yourself, did you?!"

"What! No…."

"It's true." I swept aside the curtain to the dressing room and we stepped out, where my aunt had pulled a rack of more prom dresses for Isa to try on. "You're going to have a Clothes over Bros original, too! See?"

Isa started laughing. "Oh my God. That's unbelievable; you guys don't have to do this! Really."

"Yes we do," Mom and Aunt Brooke said. "Get over here!"

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

While the girls went prom dress shopping in Charlotte, Lucas invited his brother and nephew over for lunch. It was a beautiful April day, so he figured he could put some chicken kebabs on the grill while his sons played with Mattie in the backyard. Music was playing on his Bluetooth speakers, while Larry had his feet up on the ottoman that went along with the chair, sipping a beer, and keeping a watchful eye on his grandsons.

Nathan had Miles sitting on his lap, where they'd been playing a rather enthusiastic game of peek a boo. "My nephew's getting so big!" he said, placing a kiss atop Miles' blonde head.

"I know," Lucas pouted. "He's turning one in a few weeks. Can't believe it."

Lucas and Peyton were already planning Miles' first birthday bash. It was to take place at their house, in the yard–weather permitting. They didn't have a pool like Nathan and Haley or Brooke and Julian, so they were going to have an inflatable kiddie pool so at least the babies could play.

"Crazy." Miles began to squirm on Nathan's lap, so he asked, "You wanna get down, buddy?" He gently let Miles down onto his feet, covered by blue Converse sneakers. "Let's go for a walk!" As Miles' little feet propelled forward, Nathan held him up by both his little hands. They fit into Nathan's massive ones. Ever so gently, Nathan eventually let go of Miles, expecting him to teeter forward or backward–but he kept going. "Uh...Luke..."

Lucas turned to see his youngest son taking his first steps–unsupported–ever. "Nate, let him go," he said. Lucas began to film, as Nathan understood and moved in front of Miles, keeping a eye on him as he walked alone for the first time on the grass. "Great job, buddy!" To get a better angle, Lucas moved to his brother's side and pointed the camera right at Miles.

"Keep going, Miles! Keep going!"

"Go, Miles!" Larry crowed, absolutely delighted.

Riley, who had been watching intently, began to clap and giggle from all the excitement.

Lucas handed the phone to Nathan, who filmed while Lucas got down on his haunches just in time for Miles to walk into his arms, and Riley ran over to join the big hug.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

When the girls got back from Charlotte, everyone was hanging out inside the house. _Finding Nemo_ was playing on the television, and Lucas had set up his boys under a big quilt that Karen had made especially for Riley, and she was currently working on one for Miles. Larry sat to Riley's right.

Lucas gave Riley cut up apples in a bowl as a snack. "Daddy!" he cried, and pointed his little index finger to the big screen. His legs swung back and forth, totally giddy. "Nemo!"

"That's right, that's Nemo, Ri," Lucas said. He stood with Nathan, Julian, and Mattie by his new pool table. The guys decided to play a little two on two billiards as they listened to some 80s tunes on Peyton's huge stereo system. Lucas was on Mattie's and Andrew's team, while Nathan was with Jude and Julian.

"I hope you know we're going to beat your...rears," Nathan said, with that competitive glint in his eyes that was so typical of him.

Mattie rolled his eyes. "You don't have to watch your language around me, Dad. I'm 13."

"Not _you._ Your cousins, Riley and Miles." Nathan stuck out his tongue in his son's direction. "I already know about you and curse words." He gave him a pointed, all knowing, _dad_ look, and Mattie blushed.

The little ones were deep into _Finding Nemo,_ and the others were deep into their game of pool when the girls arrived. The sound of Peyton's heels as she descended was unmistakable. "Hello?"

"MAMA!" Riley hollered, and Miles did the same.

"Hi baby!" Peyton reached down to envelop her eldest son in kisses and a hug, same for Miles. "Hi Dad," she kissed her father on the cheek.

"Hi honey; we missed you around here!"

Mom ruffled her father's hair, before going to greet her husband and the rest. "How's the pool game going?"

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

I arrived in the family room to see my brothers and grandfather watching _Finding Nemo_ while my father, uncles, and cousins played billiards. Some great music was playing on low.

"How's the pool game going?" Mom asked, and went to greet Mattie and Jude first. She gave them a hug and kiss each.

"Hi Aunt Peyton. We're winning!"

"Way to go," she said.

"We're not losing by that much!" Jude exclaimed, taking a bottled root beer from the mini fridge. "Hi, Ella."

"Hey!" I greeted, and soon I heard the sounds of Natalie descending the carpeted staircase. I watched from afar as my parents embraced. I couldn't hear exactly what they were saying, but it sounded like Dad said, _we did miss you_ before Mom gave him a kiss.

"It's like a party down here," Isa said, as she greeted my cousins. " _Finding Nemo_ ; I love that movie!"

"Come sit down!" Grandpa said, patting the empty space beside him. Isa enthusiastically took a seat.

I laughed to myself. "Isa, do you want something to drink? Root beer? Cola?"

"Root beer's fine. Thanks, Ell."

"So did you two get your dresses?" It seemed as though the pool game was over when Dad asked us this, as Jude, Andrew, and Mattie were in charge of putting everything away and making sure it was neat and tidy.

"We did," Isa answered. "Now we just need to get them tailored."

"Which I can also help with," Aunt Brooke said, as she blew kisses to her nephews.

"Can I see?" Dad asked, looking over at me. "What color's the dress?"

"No, and I'm not telling you," I said. "I'm keeping it on the down low."

"Not even the color?" Dad pouted. "Sheesh."

"Leave her," Mom said, as she munched on a few mini pretzels. "She wants it to be a surprise."

"So, we have to tell you something that's going to probably make you upset."

"...What?" Mom asked, put on guard.

"It's nothing bad," Uncle Nathan said. He motioned to the boys, signaling them to break the news.

"Miles took his first steps!" Jude, Andrew, and Mattie chorused.

Mom covered her mouth with her palm, and her eyes filled in tears. "...I _missed it_?! My baby!"

"Don't cry, Aunt Peyton! We got it on video!"

"Put it on!" I said, and Mom agreed. As Dad hooked up his phone to the big screen (luckily as the movie was wrapping up), Mom took a seat on the couch and put Miles on her lap, peppering his neck with kisses. As the film ended, the video that Dad and Uncle Nathan recorded to play, and sure enough my littlest brother was taking confident steps, alone, for the first time. "Aw!" A lump formed in my throat. I saw my parents, who were overjoyed even in watching the recording, and I felt glad that this was the second time they got to experience their child taking their first steps–at the right time, that is.

Mom cried happy tears, and must've watched the video in succession at least four times. Then she gently placed Miles on the carpeted floor, Dad behind him. "Hi baby," she said, grinning at her youngest son. She bent down on her haunches a distance away and opened her arms. "Walk for Mommy. Come to Mommy! C'mere!"

A bit wobbly at first, Miles completed the walk alone under Dad's careful eye. Mom nearly crushed him in a hug, ever so affectionate, and covered him in more little kisses.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

 _Mother's Day, 2030_

That Mother's Day, Peyton awoke to an empty bed. With a small pout, she put a silk robe over her blue nightie and made her way downstairs to the kitchen, where she smelt fresh blueberry pancakes. She found her husband standing by the stove, with her children and father sitting at the kitchen table. "What's all this?"

"What do you mean, 'what's all this?' we're making you breakfast!"

"Ya!" Riley said. "Breakfast, Mama."

Miles echoed his big brother and began to clap in glee.

"Happy Mother's Day, honey!" Larry said, with a cup of coffee in front of him.

"Happy Mother's Day, Mom!"

"Thanks," Peyton's cheeks filled in color at all the attention, and when she turned, Lucas gave her a kiss. "You really didn't have to do this; aren't we going for brunch at your mom's? What time is it?" She peered at the clock on the stove. "9:15?! You let me sleep in!"

"Of course." Lucas shrugged. "And brunch at my mom's isn't for another two and a half hours or so. Everyone was hungry now." He looked to his children. "Right?"

"Right!" Larry answered, making everyone laugh.

"Well, don't give the boys too much or else they won't eat later, and your mom will be offended."

"No she won't," Lucas chuckled. "Coffee?"

"Please," Peyton said, and she sat down in the empty chair in between Larry and Ella, never much of a morning person when she was a teen, but content to start her day today.

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

Brunch at Grandma's was, as always, beautifully done. She had brought out her fancy china. With everyone gathered together, the afternoon was filled with stories, laughter as it usually is. We took plenty of photographs in the parlor, and it was then that we exchanged gifts. I was first, and I handed my mother a card in a red envelope. As I'd thought, she teared up when she saw just the front, which read, _Everything I am or hope to be, I owe to my mother…._

Riley and Miles gave Mom hand drawn drawings, one from each of them, and Dad gave Mom his own card with a handwritten message on the inside, as he was known to do by now.

Lots of hugs and kisses later, the kids asked the moms in the room what they wanted to do with the rest of our time together, and their reply was "put our feet up." The twins managed to use logic to convince everyone to play Taboo–which they had brought with them–and that the moms could play _while_ they had their feet up. I had to laugh at that one, firstly because it was funny, and secondly because well, I wanted to play Taboo, too!

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

On the way home from Grandma's, Dad drove the family Ford whilst Mom drove her beloved Comet, being as we all couldn't fit in the Ford at once.

"You really need to work on getting your driver's license, Ella." We'd been listening to Ed Sheeran, and my thoughts drifted, only for a moment, to Finn. Mom's suggestion broke my reverie.

"I know, I know; I need to get on it."

"What're you waiting for? It'll give you so much freedom."

"Mom, I'm tired. No lectures, please." I hung my head back on the passenger seat headrest. "Did you have a nice Mother's Day?"

"I had a wonderful Mother's Day; thank you, honey..." she reached over, grabbed my left hand, and kissed it.

"You're welcome. Although, every day is Mother's Day in my book."

Mom just shook her head and smiled. I sure was going to miss our chats in this car when I went off to school.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Lucas and Peyton arrived home one right after the other. The boys had fallen asleep in the backseat, and Larry had also nodded off for a few moments and was thus groggy upon waking up. They all made their way inside. Peyton carried Miles and Lucas carried Riley right to their beds. They had already changed into their pajamas at Karen's, so getting them to sleep was easier than they thought. Ella retreated to her room after saying goodnight. Only until after Peyton gave her father his medicine was she able to retreat to her own room with her husband.

She leaned against the closed door and exhaled. "I am _tired_."

Lucas looked at her, shoving his hands in his front pockets. "Hm," he said, his gravelly voice sending chills down her back. "Not too tired, I hope?"

Peyton just looked at him, furrowing her brows. He simply held out his hand, motioned for her to follow him. He led her into the master bathroom, where he had put on soothing jazz on his Bluetooth speakers on a shelf near the towels. He had filled their large jacuzzi bathtub with soothing bubbles and bath salts. "Luke...what did you do?" She knew Lucas was a fan of gestures, but she was still touched every single time. She felt his strong arms wrap around her, and just that had her heart pounding.

"You didn't think a card was my only gift, did you?" He kissed her cheek, the side of her neck, her jaw. "Rest your feet," he said, slightly echoing the words from before at Karen's house. "Relax. You deserve it. Happy Mother's Day, baby–you're the best damn mom I know."

"Honey..." she whispered, and turned her head to give him a big kiss. "I love you..."

He squeezed her against his frame, and she gasped. "I love you, too!" When his hold on her released, he pecked her temple one last time and said, "Enjoy."

"Whoa," she said, turning and grabbing his arm. "Where do you think you're going?"

He chuckled at her, almost baffled. "Giving my wife some needed time for herself. Am I doing it wrong, or something?"

Peyton rolled her eyes. "You draw me this romantic bath with this sexy music and you're gonna leave me?" She shook her head. "I don't think so."

Lucas hung his head back and laughed. "Seriously?"

"Baby, I am _so_ not joking with you right now. I know you don't really like baths, but..." she slowly pulled the straps of her dress down her shoulders and edged out of it, as it fluttered gracefully to the tile floor. She stood in front of him in her matching pink push up bra and panties with red heels, and could tell her husband's mouth was dry just by looking at him. "...You like them with me. Right?"

Lucas swallowed, and his expression was almost pained with how badly he wanted her. He backed up and pushed the bathroom door shut without even looking. He shrugged. "OK. I'm convinced." Quickly, he pulled Peyton into his arms, his hands beginning to work her bra clasp. Her laughter was just the sweetest sound, and it was so contagious that he was laughing right along with her.

-x-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-x-

 _Monday, May 13_ _th_ _, 2030 11:45am_

I was sitting eating lunch outside on the quad before I had to head to the hospital, when Isa plopped down next to me with her lunch tray. "Hey Chica," she greeted.

As I was about to reply, my phone buzzed in a message from Sheff:

 _Hey. I know it might be weird to be getting a message from me; it's been two months, I get it. I just thought I'd see how you were doing._

I showed Isa the message. "...What should I say?"

"What do you wanna say?"

"...I don't know!" I thought for a few moments, before I eventually typed a reply back:

 _I'm ok. How are you?_

Minutes passed before I got another message:

 _Maybe we could meet up after school today to talk? I don't really wanna do this whole thing over text._

"What whole thing?" I asked Isa. Still, I texted back that I had my internship until 4p, but that I always got out kind of earlier than that, and he could meet me by the main entrance parking lot as I waited for my dad to pick me up.

 _OK. I'll meet you there, then._

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

I hardly saw Finn as we volunteered, we were both so busy and were being pulled in different directions. By the time 3:30 rolled around and I was dismissed, I had barely thought about my upcoming encounter with Sheff. When I took a seat on the bench by the parking lot outside the main entrance, I was only alone for a good five minutes before he walked up to me, wearing a THHS Letterman Jacket and his backpack slung on one shoulder. "Hey, Ella." He took a seat next to me, not close enough so that our hips touched, but close enough to get a good look at him. He hadn't physically changed much in the past two months since we last spoke. His hair had grown out just a bit, but that was about it. "...Thanks for meeting up with me."

I nodded, turned my body towards him. "So what's up, Sheff?"

Sheff sighed heavily. "... I acted like a _complete_ jackass. I _knew_ you weren't ready for anything because of Adrian, and I pushed you. I'm sorry. I really am. I heard what you were trying to say when you switched me with the tutoring. I was just mad, and hurt….but you didn't deserve any of what I threw at you."

I nodded, eventually. "Thanks, Sheff; I appreciate that."

He smiled, sheepishly, and I couldn't help but send him a smile back. "So...we're cool?"

"We're cool," I said, and as he opened his arms for a hug, I leaned into them. "So, do you have a date for prom yet?"

"Nah," Sheff said. "I'm kinda thinking of asking Sarah though," he said, referring to a girl in our grade I didn't know that well.

"Do it!" I nudged my shoulder with his. "No fear."

"How about you? Anybody you're thinking of going with?"

"I have somebody in mind."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

 _Wednesday, May 15_ _th_ _, 2030 4pm_

Finn offered to drive me home from the hospital, and we'd spent a decent amount of time parked on a hidden street a bit of ways away from my house, cuddled in the backseat. "So," Finn said. I sat on his lap, my right arm around his shoulder. His left palm rubbed circles on my lower back. "What else is going on with you?"

"Um...it's going to be a busy few weeks ahead," I admitted. I ran my fingers through his hair. "So, I wanted to ask you something."

"What's up?"

I hung my head back. "I was thinking...do you wanna come to my prom with me?" The few seconds before he spoke seemed to last forever.

"When is it?"

"May 24th. I know that's super short notice." I watched him contemplate. "...OK, seriously, say something."

"…What color's your dress?"

"Red," I answered. "…Why?"

"Looks like I'll have to go tie shopping."

"….So does that mean yes?"

"Ella, I would love to go to your prom with you." He leaned up to kiss me, as his hands ran up and down my back.

"Wait, you seriously don't own a red tie?"

"Nope. Only black, gray, and blue." His fingers played with mine. "So where is this prom?"

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

 _Friday, May 17_ _th_ _, 2030 3:30pm_

I almost got away with thinking that today was just another Friday, as I sat in my favorite booth at my grandmother's café, scribbling away in my journal. As this class' valedictorian, I was given the task of writing a speech for graduation. The ceremony was about a month away, but I wanted to get a head start.

I sat there until I was full, until my right hand began cramping from grasping my pen so hard. I walked out of the café, intending to enjoy the sunshine and watch the people walk by me, when my stomach flipped, and then dropped. Standing ahead of me and walking my way, unmistakably, was Adrian. His hair was even shorter than I remembered, his eyes hidden by plain looking sunglasses. The shirt he had on fit loosely around his frame, paired with black Adidas shorts that had a white stripe coming down each side.

It wasn't seeing Adrian that shocked me–after all, we live in the same small town–it was who he was _with._ A girl around our age, tall with long shiny hair, dressed perfectly for the sunny weather. I knew right then who it had to be, though I didn't necessarily believe it. I was transfixed by the way her arm linked through his, the way mine would have had I not used crutches.

"...Hey," he said, his sweet voice tinged with discomfort.

"Hi," was all I could muster. We stood there, not saying anything at all. The minutes stretched.

The girl cleared her throat, after her eyes darted between Adrian and me the whole time we were silent. "Um...you're Ella, right?"

The lump in my throat didn't let me reply at first, so I nodded instead. "Yeah," came out in a single breath.

"It's so nice to finally meet you," she said. She sounded kind then, as kind as she could be when thrust into a situation like this one. The gentle smile on her face and the gaze in her eyes told me that she was genuine, though I so badly didn't want her to be. "I'm Margie."

I was gripping the handles of my crutches so hard my palms were throbbing. My feet already ached from standing in perpetuity. I opened my mouth to speak and the words that escaped were quite heavy. "I know."

Margie threw a pleading look in Adrian's direction, and he piped up with a neutral, yet contrived, "...How are –how are you? Are you–are you good?"

I looked right at my first love in those beautiful eyes of his and breathed out, "I'm good."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"Adrian," Margie said, her shoes hitting the pavement in a rhythm as she struggled to keep up with him and his stride down the sidewalk.

He was reluctant to stop and turn to her. "Yeah?"

"Are you OK?" she asked, ever so gently. She gestured him to sit down with her on a nearby bench.

"Uh….that was just...well..."

"Adrian," Margie said. "It's fine."

"...It is?"

"You guys have a lot of history, and it ended pretty recently. I get it." She ran a hand up and down the center of his back. "I get...I get all the feelings."

"It doesn't mean..."

"I know," she finished for him, placed a soft kiss on his cheek. "I know."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

 _Saturday, May 18_ _th_ _, 2030_

A while after the last slice of birthday cake had been eaten, the guests had begun to disperse. Lucas and Peyton were holding hands and watching the sun set in their yard, the sky a beautiful mix of blue and purple and orange.

"Hey," Lucas said, jostling his wife's hand. "Whatcha thinking of?"

"Our last baby is one," she said, lament in her voice. She turned to him, wearing a pout.

"….wLast baby?!"

"Luke….we–"

"I'm kidding, Peyton. I'm just kidding." He gave her hand a squeeze. "I know what you mean, though. Just think about all that we have to look forward to! Watching our boys learn new things and get older; seeing what they will become; sending Ella off to college–"

"You're looking _forward_ to that?"

He laughed a bit. "I'm excited to witness all the wonderful things our daughter is going to do for the world, and it starts with sending her off to school! Actually, it continues."

The words _I love you_ silentlyfloated through the air between them, rested on Lucas' lips, and tasted ever so sweet.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

 _8:15pm_

I told my parents I wanted to go for a walk, and I ended up taking an Uber to Finn's apartment building. Just moments and a knock on his front door later, he was standing in front of me, and a look of confusion–mixed with pleasant surprise–crossed his face. "Hey," he said.

"Hey," I said. My shoulders deflated. "Is it alright if I come in?"

Finn waved me inside and shut the door behind us. I heard the voice of Sam Smith on the sound system, and I recognized an acoustic guitar sitting in its stand. "What's _up?_ Did you try and text me? My phone's charging in my room." He gestured for me to sit on the couch, and took my crutches from me. I sank into the couch cushions, still not saying a word. With his eyes on me, I released a shaky breath. "Hey, Ella," he said, urged me to meet his gaze. "Are you OK?"

"Mhm."

"Did anything happen? You look like you're about to burst into tears..."

"No I'm not, I'm not," I said. My hand rested atop his, and gave it a squeeze.

"But your eyes are watery."

"I'm not crying because I'm sad," I said, as a few tears slipped down my cheek. "…I'm crying because I'm relieved."

"About what?" Finn whispered, his tone matching mine.

The whole situation seemed practically impossible to describe in words, so I didn't. Instead I grabbed a fistful of Finn's tee shirt and pulled him in for a kiss, one that was soft and sweet. "….I'm ready now." The words left my lips and I felt lighter than air.

Something changed in Finn's brown eyes as he understood what I meant. "You are?...Are you _sure?"_

"I want..." I swallowed. "I'm ready for you and me."

"How come? You like me or something?" he joked. I rolled my eyes, smiled, right before he kissed me once more, an embrace more passionate than the last.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-


	21. Can't Get Enough of Your Love, Babe

_Chapter Twenty_

Can't Get Enough of Your Love, Babe 

_Thursday, May 23_ _rd_ _, 2030_

The sky was gray and dreary that Thursday morning, with the threat of thunderstorms looming. The air was humid and sticky, with only a slight breeze for relief. The fan spun rapidly in the bedroom where Peyton slept soundly before her alarm would rudely awake her. When it did, the bed was otherwise empty, and in her groggy state, she remembered that Lucas had to be at the high school early for an important staff meeting, and took Ella with him. After rubbing the sleep from her eyes, Peyton noticed a note written in Lucas' handwriting on one of her pieces of stationary. She picked it up, and read in the dim light:

 _Didn't want to wake you. Early day today!_

 _I love you so much, beautiful. Here's to 19 years, and to many more. Happy Anniversary._

 _Luke_

Peyton grabbed her phone from the nightstand and sent her husband a text thanking him for his note, though knowing he most likely wouldn't respond for a bit because of the staff meeting.

The distinct sounds of Riley crying from his room brought Peyton out of bed. She quickly put on her blue silk robe over her nightie and made her way to her son's bedroom. "Riley," she said, her voice soothing and soft. "Mama's here; what's the matter?"

Riley was laying down, tears streaming down his face. Peyton bent down and ran a hand across his face, and he felt hot. "Mama..."

Peyton picked him up, cradled him close to her body so she could feel his forehead. It was warm with fever. "Aw, baby, do you feel sick?"

Riley nodded his head yes, and lay his little head on his mother's shoulder, inhaling her scent. "Cold," he said. His teeth began to chatter.

"You're shivering," Peyton said. She held him closer to her body on instinct, kissed his warm forehead twice. "Come with me," she whispered, and whisked him away before Miles woke. As she lay in bed next to Riley, she texted Miranda saying she'd be unable to come into work. Miranda responded moments later.

 _Oh dear. Hate to bring this up, Boss, but you have you-know-who coming in today._

"Shit," Peyton whispered to herself. John Knight was coming in from Los Angeles, and she had to be there. She watched her son, who drifted in and out of sleep, and dialed Lucas.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Lucas sat in an early staff meeting, a cup of coffee by his side. His pen moved across the page of his book as he took notes, when he felt his phone vibrate in the pocket of his pants. He discretely removed his phone to see his wife calling. In lieu of picking up, he texted her a response.

 _In a staff meeting. Everything OK?_

 _Riley has a fever. Call me._

Lucas excused himself from the room and stepped into the hallway, where he dialed his wife back. "Riley's sick?"

 _"_ _I just took his temperature. He has a fever. I want to stay with him but I have to go into work because John is flying in from LA."_

"And you _have_ to be there?"

 _"_ _Yes, otherwise Miranda wouldn't have brought it up. Can you come home?"_

"Babe, I wish I could, but I can't. Patricia is out today and they just told me I have to sub. I have basketball practice after school too." His wife heaved an irritated sigh. "I know….I'm sorry."

 _"_ _Then I'll just have to call Karen. We can't leave him with Roslyn; him, Miles and my dad are too much to handle at once. Plus if I can't have you with him, then I want your mom there."_

"Sounds good to me. Do you want me to call her?"

 _"No, I'll do it."_

"Alright. I'm sorry, Peyt. I'll call later on to check in, OK? Maybe go home at lunchtime?"

 _"If you want."_

"Don't be upset…."

 _"Well of course I'm upset. My baby's sick and I can't stay with him." She took a deep_ _cleansing_ _breath. "...I'll see you later on, Luke."_

"OK..." he said, carefully. "I'll be home around 6:30…I love you."

 _"Love you too."_ The phone clicked right after, and Peyton's voice faded. Lucas hung his head back in frustration, and then went back to the meeting.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

In the bit of downtime Lucas had after school and before basketball practice, he decided to pay Ella a visit at the Tutor Center. It'd appeared as though she'd just gotten there, had clocked in and was prepping for her first student. Lucas rapped on the door with his knuckles, and it stole her attention.

"Hey, Dad!"

"Hey kiddo." He walked in and took a seat at her table by the corner window and water cooler. She took a seat across from him.

"Happy Anniversary to you and Mom!"

"Thanks," Lucas said through his smile. "Although, I can already tell it's not going to go exactly as planned."

"How come?"

"Riley's sick." He watched as his daughter's ears perked up and her eyes filled in concern.

"Sick with what?"

"He's got a bit of a fever. Your mom had to go to work because John Knight is in town, but Grandma Karen is with him right now, monitoring his temperature. I'm gonna call to check on things in a little bit."

"But it's not like, a high fever, right?"

"It's a fever, but not a high one. He should be alright with some rest."

"So I guess that does mean your grand gesture has to be put on hold," she said, a sympathetic gaze in her eyes.

"Guess so," Lucas agreed. His hand tapped the table. "Ah, well. What can you do, right?"

"What was the grand gesture, anyhow?"

Lucas smiled. "Can't tell you."

"Oh come on," she said, gave him a pleading look. "No hints?"

"No hints!" Lucas checked his wrist watch. "I gotta get going to prep for practice." He leaned in and kissed his daughter on the cheek. "I'll see you after."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

By the time 6:45 rolled around that evening, the house was miraculously quiet. Ella was exhausted from hours of tutoring fellow students and retreated to her room, saying she wasn't hungry enough for supper.

Lucas found his wife sitting at the kitchen table with a tall glass of water. "Hey," he greeted her, and the look of relief on her face was unmistakable.

"Hi," she said, standing up from the table. "What's behind your back?"

Lucas revealed a bouquet of white lilies, with a card attached bearing Peyton's name. "For you."

"Aw, they're beautiful," she said, her voice a gentle whisper. She reached over the bouquet to give her husband a kiss. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. How's our boy?"

"His fever broke, thank God," Peyton replied. "Your mom is upstairs with him. She said he fell asleep not too long ago."

"He ate?"

"I made him some soup; he ate the whole bowlful."

"Good, good." Lucas took a seat beside his wife.

"Where's Ella?"

"She went straight upstairs; she's exhausted. Full schedule of kids today." Lucas reached for Peyton's hand and kissed the top of it.

A set of familiar footsteps announced Karen's arrival. "Riley's conked out," she said, taking a seat at the table, and reaching to pat her son on the arm. "Happy Anniversary, love birds!"

"Thanks!"

"Congratulations you two. I always knew you'd make it."

Karen's statement took the couple by a slight surprise. It wasn't that they disregarded that tumultuous time a few years ago when Lucas left….rather, they fought hard to move forward, learn and grow from it. Still though, comments that brought them to–if only for a moment–back then delivered a strange sensation.

For Peyton, it was the tears in her eyes. Lucas' chest tightened and he swallowed without saying a word, and only feeling an immeasurable sense of gratitude for getting these past 19 years, good and bad.

"Thank you,Karen."

"Thanks, Ma," Lucas sent her a wink.

"Well, I should get going," Karen announced.

"Why?" Peyton asked. "I thought you were going to stay over."

"Yeah, stay!" Lucas said. "What's the rush?"

Karen chuckled slightly. "Well, I was sort of thinking I would let my son and his wife have some alone time on their anniversary."

"Alone time in this house is basically impossible," Lucas joked.

"Agreed," Peyton said. A shrill shout from Larry looking for his daughter from upstairs proved Lucas' point. "See? I'll be right back."

"Ma, did Peyt eat, do you know?"

"No, she didn't. She wanted to wait for you; why?"

"Perfect." He sprung up from the table. "Can you grab some candles for me?"

A sly smirk appeared on Karen's face. "Is this your grand gesture this year?"

"A modified version," Lucas admitted. He grabbed the silver candle holders and a set of the fancy plates, that they only brought out on special occasions and holidays. Karen placed the candles in their holders and began to heat up the food she had made.

"I grilled chicken and shrimp; I hope that's fancy enough."

"That's great."

"You're _sure_ you don't want me to scram outta here?"

"Yes, I'm sure. We love having you. Plus, this way Larry can have some company and won't call for Peyton every five seconds."

Karen laughed. "Right. OK; you convinced me." Her ears perked at the sound of footsteps "She's coming! I'll be upstairs."

"Thanks, Ma!"

"Anytime."

When Peyton reentered the kitchen to see lit candles atop the table and romantic music playing, she gave her a husband a look he knew all too well by now. "...How long was I gone?"

He laughed. "Get over here. Sit." Lucas spooned the hot food onto two plates. "I can't take credit for the dinner, but I can take credit for the candles and the music and the overall lovely ambience."

"Nice work," she said, watched as he poured her a glass of seltzer water with ice, and a beer for himself.

"What did your dad want?"

"He wanted to show me something on the news." Peyton took a bite of the food. "So how was practice?"

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

When the last bite of food had been eaten and the last drop of alcohol sipped, the couple quietly made their way upstairs hand in hand. "Shh," Peyton said, not wanting to wake her children.

"Must you shush so loud?"

"Mama!" came Riley's young call.

"You see?" she hissed.

"I didn't do anything!" Lucas said, and followed his wife into the boys' room. Miles was with Karen in Larry's room, so as not to take any chances with both babies getting sick.

"Hi baby; you're up, huh?" Peyton took her eldest soon into her arms and cradled him there, rocked him back and forth. He rested his head on her bosom, at which she felt his forehead, which was no longer warm.

"Sleep with you," he said in his little voice.

"You wanna sleep with Mommy and Daddy in the big bed?"

"Yah," Riley said. "Big bed."

"OK baby; let's go!"

Eventually the three of them lay in the big Queen size bed in Lucas and Peyton's bedroom. With his head once more in Peyton's bosom, and with Lucas stroking his hair, the boy fell asleep rather fast. Lucas was left to stare at his wife, his smile soft and his eyes an icy blue. They had an entire conversation without saying a word, until…

"Happy Anniversary. Love you," Lucas whispered over Riley's head.

"I love you too," Peyton mouthed, and soon their eyes fluttered to a close, and one night leaked into the next day. The day of the 19th anniversary of their marriage came to an end.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 _Friday, May 24th, 2030_

Most of prom day was spent preparing with Isa, who I was sharing a limousine with. Aunt Brooke insisted on being there and helping me with my makeup and things.

"OK, I think you're ready. Do you feel ready?"

Aunt Brooke and Mom stood over each of my shoulders as I looked myself over in the mirror. My hair was half up, half down and wavy, my makeup simple and understated. The dress was stunning. "Wow. I can't believe it took all that to make me look like this."

"Oh stop it," Mom and Aunt Brooke said, both swatting my shoulders. "You look beautiful."

All of us turned when we heard the distinct sounds of the front doorbell ringing. "I think that means Hec and Finn are here," Isa said, peering out the window. She looked fabulous in her purple C/B original.

Mom and Aunt Brooke headed towards the door. "OK, wait, don't come down until we say."

"...Really?"

"Yes, really," Aunt Brooke said. "I'll text you." She shut the door and Isa and I were left alone.

"It's like a movie," she chuckled. "That's awesome."

"I feel like I'm being presented to high society or something."

"Hah! Totally. It'll make for nice photos, though."

"Right. Did your dad bring his fancy camera?" In addition to being an artist and illustrator, Isa's dad was also a talented photographer.

"Yeah! He did." She turned when my phone buzzed in a text from Aunt Brooke. "What's she say?"

"'We're ready for you. Come down one at a time!'" I looked at my friend. "...Jesus."

Isa laughed. "I think it's sweet."

"So...who should go first?"

Isa shrugged. "I dunno."

I gestured to her. "You go."

"You sure?"

"Positive. See you down there."

Isa squeezed my hand. "See you. You look amazing!"

"You too!"

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Ringing the doorbell at Ella's house was an ordinary yet extremely nerve-wracking experience, knowing that her parents–really, entire family–were on the other side of the door. A hand on Finn's neatly dressed shoulder caused him to turn his head to the left.

"You nervous?"

"No," Finn said, a hint of color filling his cheeks. "...OK, yeah."

Finn's mother, Sarah, who wore her auburn hair down to her shoulders, and sunglasses perched on her head, sent him a reassuring glance. Her Canon camera sat in its bag, which was in her firm grip. "Don't be nervous, kid! You really like her, don't you?"

"Yeah I do, but it's like, her _whole_ family."

Sarah laughed. "Stay calm. You have me as reinforcement. I'll talk you up real good."

Finn hung his head back. "Ah, geez."

"That's what moms are for, babe!" She jostled him with her elbow a bit, and then the door opened. A tall blonde man stood on the other side, carrying an adorable little boy in his arms.

"Hello! I'm Lucas, Ella's dad, and this is Riley." Lucas gestured to his son, who hid his face in Lucas' shoulder. "Come on in!" Finn and Sarah stepped into the foyer of their home, and were hit with warmth and comfort. Lucas set Riley on the ground, and the boy ran off. He was fever-free and feeling good. "You must be Finn. Great to meet you!"

Lucas' grip was firm and no nonsense, and Finn's heart rate spiked. "Nice to meet you as well, Mr. Scott." Finn put his arm around his mom's shoulder. "This is my mom, Sarah. She really wanted to come with."

Sarah scowled playfully at her son. "For the photos! You'll thank me years from now for all the memories." She smiled in Lucas' direction. "Sarah Sutter. Nice to meet you."

Lucas ushered them into the parlor. "Ella's not done getting a seat! Help yourself." He gestured to the spread of crackers, cheese, and grapes. "My wife is around here somewhere." Lucas patted another young handsome man on the shoulder. "This is Hector."

Hector waved awkwardly. "Nice to meet y'all. I'm Isabel's boyfriend."

"Oh right!" Finn and Hector shook hands, after which Hector introduced everyone to his mother, Yolanda, or Yoli, for short.

Hector and Finn got to talking, after which a woman he presumed to be Ella's mom came into the space. "Hi. Wow, you guys look so handsome. I'm Peyton, Ella's mom."

Finn stood up from his seat. "Finn Fitzpatrick, and this is my mom, Sarah Sutter."

The two women greeted one another, with composure and politeness and genuineness. "Can I get you both something to drink? Yoli? The girls are about to come down."

Finn said, "I'm good. Mom, you want something?"

"Water would be great." Sarah took a seat next to Finn on the couch. "This is a nice house," she whispered to him. They both chuckled. "Feeling insufficient," she joked.

"Never," Finn whispered back, nudged his mother's shoulder with his own.

` "OK, the girls are coming down," a beautiful brunette announced. "I'm Brooke, for those of you just meeting me."

"Is that... _Brooke Davis?"_ Sarah asked quietly, her mouth agape.

"Dunno. ..Who's that?"

The sound of heels on hardwood stole everyone's attention, and Finn and Hector stood up, unsure who it could be. They both stood holding a different corsage, and took deep breaths. Sarah got out her camera from its bag, ready to start snapping photos.

-x-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-x-

I stood over the banister, listening to the rightful oohs and ahhs as Isa went down the stairs. I waited a bit, practically twiddling my thumbs. With every passing minute, I got more nervous.

"Ella!"

"Yeah?"

"Come down!" Came my aunt's voice, followed by laughter.

"Oh!" I scurried to the head of the stairs. "I wasn't sure! Coming."

As I made my careful way down the steps, the flash photography had already begun. I saw my parents, looking so proud and each holding one of my brothers, Grandpa Larry, Roslyn, Isa and Hector, and Aunt Brooke, who'd volunteered to take photos. There was another camera going off, and it belonged to a woman who I figured to be Finn's mom.

Several photographs later, myself, Finn, Isa, and Hector sat in the limousine which headed to senior prom. Hector closed us off from the limo driver, after which he brought out a flask from the inside pocket of his suit jacket. "Who wants?"

"Seriously?" Isa hissed.

"What?" Hector defended. "It's prom!"

"I'll have some," Finn said, after which he took a swig of whatever was in the flask. He gestured it in my direction.

"What the hell," I said, and took a swig myself.

"There we go!" Finn cheered.

"You do know they're gonna have teachers checking to make sure we don't bring in alcohol," Isa said in a whisper.

"I know, that's why I brought it out now," Hector said, laughing. "Relax. I won't get us thrown out of prom; I promise." He leaned in and kissed Isa's cheek.

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

I will admit, our graduating class' Senior Prom Committee really outdid themselves for this year's event. The place was beautiful.

"This is nice," Finn said. We people-watched those dancing after we ate a little something and took more photos. His arm was around my shoulder, and I subtly looked him over. "You wanna dance?"

"Oh. I don't really dance," I said. My cheeks colored a bit.

"Sure you do," he said, turned slightly to me. "Is it because you feel self conscious?"

"Super self conscious."

"Totally unnecessary," he said, and took my hand in his. "Nobody's worried about how you look; they're worried about how they look. Let's go!"

"Alright fine!" I took his hand and carefully made my way to the dance floor.

I danced as long as I could before getting tired, which wasn't a long time. After returning to my seat, Finn asked me if I wanted anything to drink.

"I'm good," I said. In my periphery I noticed Hector and his two friends leave the dancing area and head to one of the balconies, but not before Hec turned around and invited Finn to come along.

"I think he wants me to go mingle," he said.

"Go ahead!" I felt him squeeze my hand before joining the guys.

Not soon after he left did Sheff take a seat beside me. "Hey!" I said, patted him on the arm. "Looking sharp, buddy!" He wore an off-gray suit with a black tie. A boutonniere sat snugly on his suit lapel, which told me he had a date to this thing. "So you took Sarah after all, huh?"

Sheff blushed a bit. "I did." He looked over his shoulder to who I presumed to be Sarah with two other Tree Hill High seniors. "I think it's going well! You look fantastic, by the way."

"Aw, thanks!" I patted his hand.

"And you look happy," he said, and I could tell he was being sincere by his tone.

His sentiment hit me unexpectedly, but I didn't let it show on my face. 'Thanks, Sheff. You too!"

"So who's the lucky guy who got to bring you here?"

I smiled and it was my turn to blush. "His name is Finn."

"Are you guys a thing?"

I let out an airy chuckle. "Um...we're just...hanging out," I finished, lamely.

Sheff nodded. If he saw me blush, he didn't point it out. "I respect that. It's good to see you with big smiles again."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

As prom began to wind down, Isa and Hector proposed we hang out all together, afterwards, and I came up with the idea to hang out on my grandpa's boat. This time I had asked my father's permission, and he gave it to me, handing me the keys before I left our house in the limousine.

"Damn, this boat is beautiful," Hector said, whistling. Finn agreed. He took a look at the liquor cabinet and gently tugged on the glass door. "It's locked. Ella, do you have the key?"

I checked the keys that dad gave me, and the small gold key that I knew unlocked the liquor cabinet was missing. "No," I said, dead-pan. "No wonder my dad gave me permission to come here so easily; he took the key to the liquor cabinet away. Evil genius!"

"No biggie," Hector said. "Anybody got a paperclip?"

"For what?" Isa asked.

"To pick the lock."

"You know how to pick locks? Where did you learn that?"

Hector laughed. "Babe, it's not that big of a deal. Anyone knows how to pick a stupid lock. Why're you looking at me like that?"

Isa shrugged. "No reason."

"Don't worry," Finn piped up. "It's prom!"

"So, paperclip? How about a hairpin?"

Isa took a glance at me, I shrugged, after which she reached up and took out one of the many hair pins in her hair. "Ugh. Here. Did you ask Ella if it was OK for you to do this?"

All eyes were on me. "Go ahead. It's prom," I droned, and Hector bent down on one knee to successfully unlock the liquor cabinet.

The evening was pretty mellow, as we all talked and laughed about light things. Isa and Hector left after awhile, and soon it was just me and Finn on the boat, listening to music and drinking mixed drinks. Our shoulders touched as we chatted atop the bed, as there was nowhere else to sit. "You want more to drink?" he asked me. His tie was undone, suit jacket on the chair across the space, shoes and socks off too.

"No thanks," I answered. "I already had two."

"Alright," Finn said, and he took my glass from me, rested his atop the bar cart, then ventured back to sit next to me. The tops of our hands touched, and I grabbed his hand in mine.

"Finn," I said. "Thanks a lot for doing this."

"Doing what?"

"Taking me to prom….hanging out with me tonight. You really made it….you really made it nice and stuff."

He chuckled and squeezed my hand. "Stuff?"

"You know what I mean. You were a great date. I really appreciate it."

"No problem," he said, with a light smile. His brown eyes seemed to glint when he looked at me. His thumb traced circles on my knuckles. "It was all pretty effortless on my part. I mean, I've had a crush on you for years."

"What?" I laughed.

"It's true," he replied. When he kissed me, his lips, though slightly chapped, were gentle. His hand moved to my waist, where he pulled me close to him. My arms went around his neck. Soon his tongue swiped my lip, and then slipped into my mouth, as his other hand went up and down the fabric of my dress. When he broke away, he breathed out, "Here," and lifted me to lay down against the pillows on the bed.

"Wait," I said. "...Can I tell you something?"

"Yeah sure."

"OK...don't take this the wrong way or anything, but I really wanna get out of this dress," I said, my cheeks heating up. The dress had begun to pinch and press against my body, and I was getting agitated.

Finn smirked, and he leaned forward and kissed my lips lightly. "How could I _ever_ take that the 'wrong' way?"

My palm rested on his cheek. "I meant like...ugh, I don't know what I meant."

"Because you think it'd mean we'd automatically bang?" he chuckled.

"No," I said. "Maybe."

"Well, it doesn't." His next kiss was tender, long, and wet, then he pulled me to sit up. "Do you want me to help you?"

I nodded, as both excitement and nervousness churned in my stomach. Seeing as I didn't have a change of clothes, Finn was the first boy who would see me naked since Adrian.

Finn started with the zipper, which he pulled down ever so gently. Then he pulled down the straps which rested on my shoulders. Soon the red dress slinked to the floor, and I stepped out of it. With my back to him, I felt his strong arms wrap around my waist, his palm swipe across my flat belly. His lips peppered kisses on my neck. He helped me onto the bed, and I lay back on the pillows, still in panties. He quickly unbuttoned his cotton button down, pulled down his pants. His black and red boxer briefs clung tightly to his body, and I found myself memorizing the feeling it gave me–that unforgettable rush of desire. "What?" he asked.

"You're kinda hot."

"Kinda?" I couldn't help but run my palm down his chest, tracing lines on his abs with my finger. He moved the hair away from my eyes and said, "You're really beautiful."

"Thanks," came out in a whisper. I saw the way he saw me and my bare body for the first time, with a certain kind of tenderness I'd never seen before, and I calmed. He exhaled deeply, let his breath–which smelled faintly like vodka–hit me like mist. With my slender fingers running through his hair, he leaned down and circled the tip of his tongue around my left aureola, before taking my nipple into his mouth. It was warm and his tongue slick and wet. He tugged on my nipple and I moaned loudly.

"Are you OK? Did that hurt?"

"No; I'm just super sensitive there."

"So it was a good moan," Finn said, and I could hear his smirk even though I couldn't see it with the way his head angled toward my chest. He put his mouth on me once more, flicked his tongue over my nipple, while massaging my right breast with his free hand. A mixture of pain and pleasure coursed through me, and he kissed up my chest until his lips pressed against mine, and there we stayed. We kissed until our lips got swollen, let our tongues explore the other's mouth. Soon he thrust his pelvis against mine, and I gasped at the feel of him hard against me.

"Wait a sec," I said, though I was practically out of breath from the making out. "Um..I don't...I don't think–"

"Ella," he said, ever so calm, "We don't have to have sex if you don't want to. There are plenty of things we can do that's not intercourse."

"Yeah?"

"Sure," he said, a soft smile on his face. "Besides, sex on prom night is overdone anyway, don't ya think? I feel like we're way too young to be cliches."

"You're right," I said, as we switched to laying on our sides. My eyes darted to his erection pushing against his black and red boxer briefs, and I gently rested my hand there, beginning to rub him through the fabric. "There are plenty things we can do." Finn's head lolled back, his eyes shut, as he silently pleaded for me to keep going. I pulled his underwear down to his thighs and kept stroking him in a rhythm, alternating between going fast and slow. He got harder and harder, pulsed and throbbed in my palm.

"That feels really good."

I continued until eventually, my hands began to tire, but I didn't want to stop. So I leaned down, rubbed my lips against his tip in a teasing sort of way, before taking him into my mouth. Finn began to moan loudly when I started sucking him, and I decided there was absolutely nothing sexier than the sounds escaping his lips.

When I did eventually stop, we lay on our sides, Finn's fingers rubbed my belly button, then went down, and further down, until they snuck under the hem of my panties into my heat. His thumb found my clit pretty effortlessly, and I felt him watch me writhe. "You're wet," he breathed. He edged closer to me, held me as my legs began to twitch. I grabbed his bicep as he began to finger me, his movements fast and unapologetic. He yanked my panties off and continued his ministrations, until his tongue started licking me and I just melted then and there. Once and a while he'd moan at my warmth and my scent, and it turned me on even more. In the middle of it all, he reached up and entwined our hands, which rested on my belly. He stopped using his tongue only to kiss me there, and kept going, kept going until I was left quivering and damp. "You came," he whispered.

"You're surprised? I have...you know...done this before."

"Clearly," Finn said, an adorable grin on his face.

My cheeks burned red at his insinuation. "Stop!" I covered my face with my hands, curled into the pillow like a shrimp.

His laugh was sweet and genuine. "Hey!" he pulled my hands away from my face, kissed my lips three times. "Don't be shy."

"You just...turn me on a lot."

"Are you kidding? _You_ turn _me_ on _so bad_. It's insane."

I ran my hands up and down his bare arms as I looked up at him. "So..." I took a breath. "I know you want to have sex…and I've been making you wait. I hate to sound like a cliché, because you're right, we are too young for that, but sex is a big thing for me. I've only been with one guy, and I need to really, really trust the person I'm with. I'm not saying I don't trust you," I added quickly. "I mean I'm laying in bed naked with you...I just feel triply vulnerable than someone...than someone who doesn't have CP. You know?"

"I understand."

"I mean I need to...I need to feel completely safe. If something were to happen...I wouldn't be able to defend myself."

"Hey," he said, his eyes a deep brown when I finally looked into them. "Ella...I'd _never_ hurt you. I'm _not_ like that."

"I think I'm just scared."

"You don't have to feel scared when you're with me. I'll protect you."

My eyes were teary. I inhaled and said, "OK. Next time?"

"Whatever you say," Finn said, his voice soft. He leaned on his side and brought me to face him. "So, do you ever have dreams where you don't have CP?"

"Oh, all the time," I replied.

"Really?"

"Yeah!" I began to tell Finn about bits and pieces of dreams that I remembered from recently, just the two of us on the boat in the marina.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-


	22. The Way I Am

**OK everyone. This is going to be the last chapter for this story. I apologize if this comes as a surprise to some of you, but I decided it was time to wrap it up. Thanks for everything, and keep an eye out for an author's note that should be posted very soon.**

 **xo**

 _Chapter Twenty-One_

The Way I Am

 _Sunday, May 26th, 2030_

"Larry, put your shoes on the right way. We have to get going to my brother's house."

Larry grumbled something under his breath, then said, "Why are we going there?"

"What do you mean?" Lucas smiled for good measure. "It's Memorial Day! Don't drag your feet now; they're waiting for us." He bent down to help his father-in-law tie his new sneakers.

"Luke!"

"What?" Lucas called back to Peyton's shout.

"Can you get Ella, please? I'm getting the boys."

Lucas went up the stairs two at a time, knocked on Ella's bedroom door once before opening it. She sat on her bed, texting. "You just gonna sit here all day? We have places to be."

She looked up and blushed the slightest bit, putting down her phone for air. "Sorry." She bent down to put on her shoes, at which point Lucas sat on the edge of her bed.

"Hey, Ella," he said, his tone suddenly serious.

"Hm?"

"I went by your grandfather's boat the other day just to check on it. I noticed the lock on the liquor cabinet was messed up–like somebody picked at it. Would you know anything about that?"

"No," she said.

"You're sure."

"Yes."

"You're positive."

"Dad, I said yes."

"One more chance to tell the truth," Lucas said.

Ella hung her head back and exhaled, stressed. "...OK. Me, Finn, Isa and Hector….picked the lock."

"It took four of you to do that?"

"Ugh, no. It was Hector, OK? Please don't do anything or say anything to his mom."

Lucas laughed humorlessly. "Well. I'm definitely going to say something to you. After you tell me what happened."

"What else? We wanted to drink."

"I don't like that tone," Lucas warned. "What have I told you about drinking on Grandpa Larry's boat?!"

"Dad," Ella wailed. "...It was prom."

"I don't care! What kind of justification is that?"

"I don't–why did you give me the keys to the boat anyway, then?! What was it, some kind of test or something?"

"No, Ella, it wasn't a test. It was a sign of trust, and when you were complicit with your friend invading the liquor cabinet, you broke that trust."

Ella swallowed and looked her father in the eye. "...OK."

"'OK?' That's all you have to say to me?"

"Are you going to tell Hector's mom?"

"I'm considering it."

"Dad, _please_ don't."

"You don't have a say in what I decide to do next."

"Big surprise."

"Actually, it isn't. You still live under this roof, so you go by me and your mother's rules. Am I making myself clear?" he demanded, his eyes an icy, cold blue.

"...Yes."

"Speak up!"

"Yes!"

"Put your shoes on and get ready. We're late for your uncle's house."

"Do I have to go?"

"Yes." With that, Lucas closed the door, hard.

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

At my uncle's house, I sat in a lounge chair by the pool and cursed myself for not bringing along a book to read or something.

"What's up?" Came Uncle Skills' voice. He patted me on the ankle. "Why're you so quiet, girly?"

I shrugged. "Hey, Uncle Skills, do you remember much about your high school prom?"

"Yeah, some things."

"Do you remember drinking?"

Uncle Skills smirked. "Oh yeah–"

"Ahem," came my mother's voice. My uncle's sly smirk disappeared, and he scrambled to get up from the chair.

"I mean...no. No drinking at all."

Mom took his place, and looked at me for a few seconds. "Your father told me about the liquor cabinet on Grandpa's boat." She shook her head.

I tried to pass her my cell phone. "Here."

Mom held up her hand. "It's going to cost money to fix the lock. We've decided you're going to pay for it."

My mouth fell open. "Me?!"

"Yes, you."

"...I don't have enough money."

"Well, you're going to find a way to get it."

"How?!"

Mom laughed at me. "By getting a job. You can work at with Aunt Haley at the café."

My gaze hardened. "Mom, that's not funny. You know I can't be a waitress."

"You don't have to be a waitress. You can be a hostess. Take inventory. Answer the phone and take deliveries. Aunt Haley has plenty for you to do."

I scowled at her. "You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

"We've also decided that you're no longer allowed on your grandfather's boat until further notice."

"What?" I wailed. "That's not fair."

"We think it's very fair. Every time you go there, you drink, when we specifically forbade you to do it _both_ times. We don't like it at all. Do you have any more complaints? Because if you do, I can take your phone for a whole month. Or your laptop. Take your pick."

"Why're you even scolding me about this right now when we're at a family barbecue?!"

Mom raised her brows. "Would you rather I scold you in front of everyone?" I said nothing. "Aunt Haley is expecting you to approach her about the café. Do it by the time we get home tonight." Mom stood up and left me alone.

 _Grounded again? Damn. They let you have your phone?_

So read Finn's text a little while later, which I received right before my mom grabbed my phone and put it in her bag. I spent the rest of our visit watching Riley have a blast in the pool with my dad and uncles.

"Hey, Ella, why don't you come swimming?" My dad called over from the shallow end of the pool.

"I'm OK, thanks."

"It'll be really good for you."

"Maybe later," I said. I leaned back in the lounge chair and closed my eyes, wishing I could be invisible.

As the day seeped into the evening, guests at my uncle and aunt's house abandoned the pool area and moved on inside the house. We all sat in the family room, bunched together on the comfortable sectional couch and loveseat. Various board games lay scattered on the table in front of us, which we stopped playing once we grew tired of them.

"So, Ella, have you given any thought to who else you'd like to invite to your graduation?" Aunt Haley asked, taking a cookie and breaking a piece into her mouth. "I know you only get a certain amount of tickets per graduate."

So far my parents (along with my brothers) and Grandpa Larry were coming. I had one ticket left. "Yes." I exhaled and saw the whole room looking at me, but I was only looking at one person in particular. "...I'd actually like to invite Uncle Nathan."

My uncle, who sat across from me, was absolutely beaming with that killer smile of his. "Wow. Well, I'll be there. Front and center. Maybe even I'll bring a huge sign–"

Aunt Haley stared at me, and we both laughed.

"What?" Uncle Nathan demanded, grinning.

Aunt Haley shook her head. "Honey...you are _such_ a ham!"

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

 _Tuesday, May 28th, 2030_

"You made it!" Aunt Haley stood behind the counter at the cafe, and she moved to embrace me as I walked through the door of the bustling restaurant. "It sucks that you're grounded, sweetie, but I gotta say, I could use the help around here." She patted me on the shoulder. "I don't want you to worry; I'm not going to ask you to waitress, but I will ask you to take inventory and answer the phones, once you're done with a quick training. Sound good?"

"Sure, whatever you need."

"I really don't think the lock will be that much to pay off. I think your parents are just trying to teach you more about culpability. Plus, this is like your first job! It's exciting."

"Yeah," I said, feeding off my aunt's enthusiasm.

"Here, let me get Joy, she's going to help train you, OK?"

"OK."

The training made the job seem manageable, and Joy put me in the back to do inventory, which I did until just before closing.

"How's it going back here?" Aunt Haley asked, leaning against the door frame.

"Not bad," I answered honestly. I saw her looking at me. "...What?"

Aunt Haley couldn't hide her gleeful smile. "OK, I know this probably goes completely against you being grounded, but your friend Finn is here."

"He is?"

"Mhm! Sitting at the counter. He asked Joy if you were here."

"Is this your way of telling me I can go out and talk to him?"

Aunt Haley smirked. "...Maybe. OK. Yes. Go! And don't tell your parents I let you guys...you know...fraternize."

I laughed. "OK. Thanks!"

When I made it out to the counter, sure enough Finn was sitting on a center stool with an iced coffee and blueberry muffin. "Hey!"

His eyes lit up upon seeing me. "Hey," he said. "Is it bad that I'm here? I don't wanna get you into more trouble...but that lady over there said she'd go get you." Finn motioned to my aunt with his chin, who was pretending not to watch us.

"That lady is my aunt," I chuckled. "It's fine."

"Oh. Awesome!"

I leaned in close to him over the counter, and he did the same. "How are you?"

"Not bad. How about you?"

Over Finn's shoulder, I saw my aunt motioning to the back of the cafe, behind the kitchen where I'd been taking inventory. Joy kept trying not to laugh as she waited on one of the tables that was still occupied. "Not bad."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

 _Wednesday, June 12th, 2030, two weeks later_

My grounding had ended on the last day of volunteering at the hospital. My supervisor got a little cake for Finn and me to say goodbye and wish us good luck in college, and we spent the later part of the day just chatting and enjoying one another.

"So, is your dad picking you up?" Finn asked me, as we headed towards the elevators that would take us to the hospital's main entrance.

"He should be, yeah," I said. "Why?"

"You wanna come over? My mom will be working late. We could have dinner. Celebrate and stuff. Obviously I'll drive you to and from."

"Sure," I smiled, reached into my purse. "Let me just clear it with my dad."

Since I completed my punishment, dad gave me permission to have dinner at Finn's place. We spent the short drive listening to music and chatting until we arrived at the apartment. As I sat down on the couch, Finn took a seat too and leaned in to kiss me. His kiss was heavy, his left hand roaming my waist, my lower back, to my waist again. His embrace and touch left me out of breath, and aching for more.

"I can't keep my hands off you," he whispered into the skin of my neck, before he pulled back to brush a strand of hair away from my face. He looked at me, his eyes a deep color, his gaze pure. "...Do you wanna go to my room?"

"To have sex?"

"Yeah," Finn admitted. He trailed two fingers down my right arm. He looked at me still, his eyes ever so honest.

I ultimately respected his honesty...almost treasured the way he saw me then and always. So I said, "Let's go." I let him carry me to his room and rest on his bed. I watched as he shut the door, took off his tee shirt and shorts with ease. He knelt on the bed and moved towards me, took both my hands.

"You're alright?"

I nodded. "Yes." Both my arms hooked around his neck, pulled him towards me for a kiss. I let his hands run all the way up my back and down again, before he gently pulled my shirt over my head, and unhooked my bra within seconds. He leaned me to rest my head against his fluffy pillows, as his fingers traveled down to my breasts, then up again. He slowly removed my underwear, rubbed his thumb quickly against my clitoris as his other hand rested on my chest. There we stayed for a while, and I writhed and moaned under his touch.

"Ella, your heart is racing," Finn noted, lament lacing his voice. He lightly pressed his palm against my skin. "You sure you're alright?"

"I'm a little nervous," I said. "Not because I don't want to do this. I want to. I just...you're the first guy since….since _my_ first guy. You really, _really_ need to be gentle."

He leaned close towards me, kissed my nose, then my lips. "I will be."

"And you need to go slow. Please," I pleaded, my left hand grazing his chest. "Please."

"I will." He bent his head down to kiss my right knee, which was pressed up against his abdomen. "Can you open your legs just a little more?" His bare body edged toward mine. He began rubbing his tip against me in ways that felt so good, moans escaped my mouth repeatedly. After quickly slipping on a condom, Finn moved even closer so one of my knees touched either side of his waist. He slipped inside of me, and soon I felt him filling me up, his hips began to gyrate and rock against my body, which lay still. "You OK?"

The tight muscles inside my thighs burned as they began to stretch and pull to wrap around Finn's body. "Yeah," I said, breathed against the pain. "It's my legs…just go easy."

"OK," he said. I felt pressure, and had no choice but to tolerate the pain in my legs as pleasure washed over me. As I adjusted to the feel of him, moans left my lips and I urged him to go faster, harder. My arms wrapped around his broad shoulders, my palms pushed against his back as we united in the most intimate of ways. "Fuck," he said, our breath mingling as I looked up at him. "You feel so good...you're really warm."

Eventually, when the pain in my legs became too great, I asked, "Can we–can we move to the side? I think it'll hurt my legs less."

Ever so slowly, Finn and I lay on our hips, facing one another, legs wrapped around the other. "Like this?" He continued to thrust against me, pushed me closer to him so our chests touched. I soaked in every detail of his handsome face, and vowed to memorize them. When he kissed me, I held onto every feeling it gave: his lips against mine, the way his tongue explored my mouth, how my stomach would flip over and over.

We continued until we were both exhausted, until I climaxed in his arms, and soon we lay there talking in hushed tones and in the most quiet of voices. I cuddled against his warm, naked body and he mine. His hands had massaged where my legs had throbbed from before, and now we were talking about nothing, yet seemingly, everything.

"So...I have a question," was how he began. Somehow I knew what the question was before he even asked it. He looked right at me, seemed confident yet vulnerable, and asked, "...Will you be my girlfriend?"

You could see my smile in my eyes, and I said, _yes._

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

 _Friday, June 14th, 2030_

Blue graduation gowns and caps; golden tassels, a white _valedictorian_ sash. Today was graduation day. Yes, I would finally receive my high school diploma after four years of grit and hard work, but moreover, I would hopefully walk across the stage without crutches when my name was called. I was nervous, yet strangely at peace. I knew giving my valedictorian speech would be easy enough. I was more mortified that i would fall in front of everyone, sure, but I wanted to remain emotionally present. This event was likely the last that the Tree Hill High School Class of 2030 would be physically all together in the same place.

The ceremony began like any other would, with short introductions by the Vice Principal, the emcee, and finally, Principal Nancy Curtis, who would be the one to introduce me as valedictorian. My speech was apparently inspiring, light, funny, and sentimental. Soon myself and the other students were waiting for their big walk across the stage.

"We have a tradition here at Tree Hill High School," Principal Curtis said, as she half faced the audience and the students. "Parents whose children are graduating today, and who are alumni of the school, have been given the opportunity to hand out the diploma to their child, and have accepted such an opportunity."

Since my father was still the beloved coach of the Ravens, and now Athletic Director, he sat on the stage near me. Our eyes met and he smiled and winked. OK, so he got me. I had no idea he and Mom would be giving me my diploma...but, my parents had no idea I'd be walking across the stage to get it without crutches, either.

Isa and I had planned ahead of time that she would walk up with me to get my diploma in case I lost my balance or fell or freaked out. When _Ella Grace Scott_ radiated through the space, Isa held my hand and walked me to the left side of the stage.

I eyed the space between myself and my parents, who waited on the other side, looking so polished and proud. _Holy fuck it's a long way,_ I thought to myself. _And everyone's watching. Sweet Jesus._

"You got this," Isa whispered in my ear, as her grasp weakened. "Just breathe!"

After months of working together with my physical therapist Joshua, of working out with my uncle, I stood steady on my feet and began to walk the longest distance I've ever walked without crutches since my surgery. The moment went by a lot faster than I thought it would, so I was sure to cherish every second. I launched into my parents' waiting arms, Dad giving me a kiss on the cheek and Mom telling me how much they both loved me and how proud they were of me, something I would treasure far more than anything else that happened that day.

Spotting my uncle Nathan in the crowd after we threw our caps into the air and dispersed was easy enough. He had abandoned his favored baseball cap and shades for an expensive suit and fresh haircut. "Kiddo!" He pulled me into his strong arms and held me there. "I am so unbelievably proud of you. You were _awesome!_ "

"Thanks," I breathed, with tears in my eyes. It hit me right then how much I was gonna miss him when I went away to Williams.

"Don't cry," he said, wiped away a tear that had escaped. "You're gonna make me cry!"

"He was emotional during your speech," Mom said, who carried the flowers she and Dad bought for me.

"Fine, I was," Uncle Nathan said. "But so were you!"

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

 _Saturday, June 15th, 2030_

Today was Jamie and Lily's 23rd birthday, and the family was getting together to celebrate at Grandma Karen's house.

In the midst of the party, with everyone laughing and mingling and reminiscing, Jamie pulled me aside. "He's doing it today!"

I stared at him. "...Who's doing what?"

Jamie rolled his eyes. "Andre. Andre, he's proposing to Lily today!"

My mind went back to that evening weeks ago when Andre visited my grandmother at the house, to speak with her, my parents, and Andy in private, only to ask for their blessing. "What! Today! When? How do you know?"

"I don't know, and because he told me."

"Oh my God. On her birthday...aw; this is so exciting!"

"I know, I know! Just DON'T say anything to her."

"Obviously not. Well, shit."

"What?"

"...We're growing up!"

-x-x-x- **EGS** -x-x-x-

Lily and I were hanging out in the backyard, unbeknownst to her because Andre was "setting everything up" inside, which he told me about via text message. My job was to keep her out here for as long as possible.

"So, how's it going with you and Finn?"

"Well…."

Lily began patting my knee with an air of excitement. "What, what?"

"We hung out a few days ago…and we had sex."

"Did it go OK?"

"Yeah! I was a little nervous, naturally, but it went well. Really well, actually."

"That's great! I'm happy for you."

"There's more."

"What?"

"He asked me to be his girlfriend."

"Aw!"

"I know. The way he did it was really sweet, actually; understated." I felt a blush rising to my cheeks. "I said yes."

"Yay! That's great!"

"Thanks!" My phone went off in a text from Andre, which simply read, _ready_. "I'm pretty thirsty; gonna go inside and grab a drink."

"Oh, do you want me to get one for you?"

"Oh, no no. It's OK. I can get it. Be right back." I grabbed my crutches and scurried off inside the house. Jamie was waiting near the window, and he ushered me downstairs to the basement, which meant I would be unable to see Andre's whole setup for the proposal. My parents, brothers, Grandpa Larry, along with Grandma Karen, Andy, and Andre's mother all sat in the basement–which Grandma and Andy had finished with comfortable furniture. The tension was completely palpable, the room filled with excitement.

Apparently Andy had rigged a webcam to the wall of the kitchen, so that we could get a live feed and watch the proposal as it happened in real time.

"I want to be able to hear what they're saying," Grandma Karen said.

"Ma, let them have their own moment," Dad said from the recliner. "It's a lot that we're even able to watch it."

I took a seat next to my mom and put Riley onto my lap. "You excited, Ri? You're gonna see Auntie Lily soon on the TV!"

Riley began to clap. "Ya, Auntie Lily!"

Soon Andre appeared on the screen. "Everyone shh!" Mom said, and leaned forward. "It's starting!""

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

"...Hello?" Lily called, to a seemingly empty house. Ella was taking forever to return with her drink, so Lily went to investigate. Inside, the radio that was once on high had been turned off. The lights had been dimmed in the living room, dining room. There was a faint flow coming from the kitchen, so that's where she headed. "Hello? Where is everyone?" She got to the middle of the kitchen only to see the table covered in candles, red rose petals, and framed photographs of her and Andre. To the left of the photos were two glasses and a bottle of very expensive champagne. In the very center of the display was a small chalkboard, and written on it, in Andre's handwriting, was the question, _marry me?_

Lily's breath caught in her throat, and by the time she turned around, the love of her life was already down on one knee. "Lily," he said, and he had never before been so serious. His voice shook with emotion. "I'd never thought I'd ever be so lucky as to fall in love with my best friend in the whole world. You've made me happier than I ever thought I could be. I want to spend the rest of my life making you feel the same way...if you'll let me." The tears in his eyes were reflected by her own. With his free hand, Andre grabbed that of Lily, and squeezed it. "...Lily...will you marry me?"

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

 _Wednesday, July 24th, 2030, 5:30pm_

I had finished up my work at the cafe and was just waiting for Aunt Haley to wrap things up with a few tables when the door chimed. I looked up from my phone, and was somewhat startled to see Adrian standing there. "Oh...hey," I said, trying so hard to keep my voice light and welcoming.

"Hi," he said, one hand slightly waving at me. He was wearing a tee shirt and shorts, his eyes hidden by sunglasses. "I was hoping you'd be here….is it OK if I sit?"

"Sure," I said, and he sat in the booth across from me. "Do you want like, a milkshake or something?"

"Oh no, I'm OK."

"OK. So…."

"Right. So…." He removed his sunglasses, and his gaze met mine. He inhaled, exhaled. "Two months ago, when we ran into each other...that was Margie with me. She's staying with me for the summer. I'm really sorry if seeing us made you uncomfortable–"

"Adrian," I said, held out my hand so that he would stop. "...I know that was Margie with you. She introduced herself, but she didn't have to. As far as making me uncomfortable… I mean, it's going to, let's be real. Plus, you know Tree Hill is a really small town. The odds of us running into each other again are pretty great….but," I said, and his eyes seemed to brighten, "I am happy for you."

He swallowed, smiled warmly at me, and nodded. "Thanks, Ella. That really means a lot. What else is going on with you?"

I quickly told him of recent happenings with my family, focusing on Lily's engagement to Andre, but also mentioning Jamie, Mattie, and the Baker crew.

"Nice. Which school are you going to? You must've decided by now."

"I did," I said. "I'm going to Williams."

"That's so great!"

"Yeah, thanks," I said, smiled gently at him. For a moment we shared a look that said so much, most of it whispers of the past. "Thanks for everything, Adrian."

Tears welled up in my eyes, and not because I longed for things to be different, but because I carried my past around in my pocket like all of us do. Easy to reach, yet unattainable, which was good and bad...but mostly good. If we had the chance to go back to the past, we'd all lose our minds, wouldn't we?

Seeing me emotional had a rather obvious impact on him. I could see the tears in his eyes from where I sat. "No," he said. "Thank you."

I inhaled a shaky breath. "Um...I'll always…"

"I know." Adrian reached across and grabbed my hand, squeezed it once. "I know." His voice was thick with emotion and promise. "You too." He gave me his best smile. "...Friends?"

I nodded, our hands still entwined. "Friends."

"Ella, you are going to be so amazing. Actually, you already are…I'll never forget you."

"Me either…I promise."

Adrian pinched the bridge of his nose and cleared his throat. "...Well. On that note...I'd better get going."

"OK!" I watched him get up from the booth, and I did the same. "It was great seeing you."

"You too," he said. He opened his arms for a hug, and I returned it. "Best of luck at school!"

"Yeah same, good luck with sophomore year at UPENN." He nodded and waved, and soon my first love was out of sight.

I sat there for only a moment before my phone started ringing. It was Finn calling. "Hey you," I said, and a smile brightened up my whole face.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Tuesday, _August 20, 2030_

It was nearing 8:30pm, and almost everyone, Grandpa Larry included, had fallen asleep. Only myself and my parents were still awake, hanging out in their room, TV on low. Dad had just brought up a tray carrying bowlfuls of ice cream and Oreo cookies. We hung out, just the original three.

"Your last night here," Dad pouted. "How're you feeling?"

Tomorrow, my parents and I were to board a plane to Massachusetts to see me off to college. I'd spent the last few weeks hanging out with them, with my aunts and uncles and cousins, with Isa, with Finn. Truthfully I felt a myriad of different emotions: elation, excitement, fear, sadness. I think Dad knew that. "All over the place," I said.

"I know," Mom said, as she placed a warm hand on my calf. "Baby, you're going to be _so_ great!"

"We're very proud of you….and we're gonna miss you."

Both Mom and Dad had tears in their eyes, and I did too. I can't even begin to explain how much I'm going to miss my parents. My brothers. Even my grandfather. "I'll be back soon. You can't get rid of me that easy!"

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

 _The next morning_

"You good, baby?" Mom asked me, during the flight to Massachusetts. Mom sight to my right, and Dad sat next to her.

I couldn't help but reflect on everything that led me to this moment: the mistakes, the tears, the anger, the exhilaration, the failures and the successes...every single step, every decision was worth it, because it brought me here. It brought me to await the future and whatever beautiful moments lay ahead.

"Yeah," I said, despite my eyes still being puffy from all the crying saying bye to Riley. I grabbed my mother's slender hand. "I'm good."

 **THE END**


	23. A Message From the Author

September 2018

Almost ten years ago, on January 27, 2009, I sat down to write a story. I called it, "Life is Beautiful," about a young couple and their little girl with cerebral palsy (CP), who was about to go in for her first of several major surgeries.

It wasn't just _any_ story, though, because it was my own. At the culmination of Life is Beautiful, I wrote a note (that I later took down) explaining that Ella Grace Scott was really my alter ego of sorts; that _I_ was the little girl with CP who had the major surgery, and the handsome surgeon with ginger red hair was my doctor, too. Really, the idea to start the story was born because I was afraid I was going to forget everything one day. I was afraid, and as a young writer with zero experience, disguising my story behind _One Tree Hill_ , my favorite show, seemed like the perfect launching platform. So, I started writing.

I began asking my mom questions about the days and events that led up to my premature birth; impromptu, casual interviews of sorts. Eventually, as I became seasoned with my craft, as my writing improved, Life is Beautiful started to stray from the show and slowly took on an identity all its own. I became completely engrossed in the characters and their journeys, and thus found the escape that I so desperately sought for.

The idea for the sequel, "You Are Not Alone" came to fruition when I realized that I still had stories left to tell, and that my bond with these stories was stronger than ever. Though in reality I was going off to college and starting a new chapter in my life, I didn't want to leave these characters behind. Four years and a profound on and off struggle with depression later, You Are Not Alone came to a close, and I thus began yet another chapter in my life, as a new college graduate, terrified beyond belief. So, I began the third and final installment in this universe, titled "I Shall Believe."

As I sit here in my office, where many of my ideas came to life and many of my chapters made it onto the page, I can't help but think of what this last installment was all about. It captured a family who'd really gone through hell and back together, who rose together–to the occasion, and to embrace the best that life has to offer, despite the tough times. It's about belief, faith. About starting over.

I can't even begin to explain what writing this note feels like. This series carried me from a shy, insecure, angry teenager to a much better version of myself. It saw me through depression; heartbreak; through loss, through grief. It has brought me to experience real love, a love pure and true...one I thought only existed in stories.

For those of you who expressed that you found comfort in my work, you are _not_ the only one to do so. Perhaps that is why stories exist: to ease tortured souls as it did mine.

Ella went from just another character to an old friend. Soon I was thinking her thoughts and even could hear her voice. She walked the paths that I've walked, which is how I was able to write and create her experiences with such authority. Yes, she was far from perfect, but none of us are, and to write her in that way would have been a great disservice.

Although Ella's story has ended, you don't have to let her or her universe fade. Let both entities exist, and thrive, in your hearts and minds as it will mine.

All my love,

M


End file.
